Tactics Tuesdays

If a person tries to be pushy or a girl hits you with a question there’s no right answer for, the easiest way around it is to choose not to engage it.

Simple little tactic here. This will help you avoid innumerable stupid fights about ideological nonsense that is not worth your time.

Rather than differ with people over their opinions or beliefs or thoughts when they try to push them on you, just tell them “That’s not for me.”

It sets up a far healthier dynamic than stating what you DO want/think/believe. When you talk about what you want/think/believe, and it’s different from what someone else wants/thinks/believes, it’s easy for him to slip into being challenging or combative. Your mind has been, in his opinion, colonized by an alien ideology in need of rooting out.

For instance, if someone tells you “You really ought to get yourself a steady girlfriend!” and you don’t want a relationship, and tell him “I don’t believe in picking just one girl”, get ready for some combativeness. Even if your conversation partner doesn’t start swinging at your position, there’s a very good chance he views you as weird or sleazy or however he views men who don’t want to settle into a monogamous relationship.

There’s an easy way to avoid this disconnect though. Instead of telling him what you DO want/stand for, just tell him his suggestion isn’t for you.

I lately responded to a comment where I talked about one kind of barrier destroyer. I figured I’d talk about some others here.

Barriers are a spectacular tactic. They challenge a girl you are with to take some kind of action (favorable to the direction you want to move things in) to get things moving. For instance, “I’d really love to get to know you better. But you have this sarcastic attitude toward any attempts at real talk that makes it so difficult.” Use this with a girl you have a good thing going with, and you make her aware of her defenses, and encourage her to drop them (to let you in). Another common barrier: “If it wasn’t for the crowd of people around us, my hands would be all over you.” A girl who’s already pretty into you is fairly likely to start suggesting somewhere more private the two of you might head at this point.

But this article isn’t about using barriers yourself. It’s about what to do when women use barriers on you.

Because they can and they will.

The productive barriers you don’t need to dismantle, of course. If she says “It’s too bad we’re in public and not somewhere private right now”, don’t destroy that barrier. Just get her somewhere alone with you.

It’s the unproductive barriers you need to watch out for. Ones that put the brakes on the courtship, slip you into the boyfriend zone, or banish you to the platonic friend zone.

When a girl hits you with an unproductive barrier, you can feel stuck: barriers can be hard to tear down in an effective way. They put up a wall between you and her that can feel insurmountable. This article gives you the tools to get unstuck, and get past the wall.

“You shouldn’t do this” – there’s no better way to get someone to do it than to tell her not to. Here’s how to use reverse psychology in dating and relationships.

In a comment on my article last week about orgasm anchoring, a reader named Edgy asks:

“Hey Chase! Any perspectives on how reverse psychology ties in with seduction?”

... and absolutely; it’s a real fun topic.

(aside: apologies for my delays on responding to comments, by the way. We’re doing a reshoot of several of the One Date lessons in May + shooting a bunch of other stuff, and all the logistical, writing, and managing prep for that has left me even less time than usual. I will get to comments, though!)

The gist of reverse psychology is that you advocate for the opposite of what you want someone to think, feel, or do. “Do not push!” written on a button, for instance – you can’t help but want to push that button, just to see what happens.

In terms of dating and relationships, that might mean you tell your date or girlfriend to do the opposite of what you in fact wish her to do. Or it might mean you act like you support the position opposite the one you hope she herself will choose.

Before you think this is some passive-aggressive way to get your way, think again. It’s a quite powerful psychological device – and you can use it in a variety of ways.

You can train a woman to do and enjoy something – or to cut that something out – with a simple (but mighty) operant conditioning tactic called “orgasm anchoring.”

Have you got something you’d like a girl to do, but she isn’t that excited about? Anchor it with orgasms!

Or maybe there’s something she does, and you’d like her to cut it out? Anchor it with orgasms!

This article presumes you’re adept at making women climax from sexual intercourse already. And ideally, that you’re able to string together multiple vaginal orgasms in her. If you’re not yet, or you’ve got a girl who’s sexually closed off and hasn’t learned to cum yet (or to cum easily / multiple times in a row), give these two articles a gander:

• Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less

• 3 Steps to Help Her to Orgasm from Sex

Also, you should probably have a decent grasp of how anchoring works. I’ll give you a quick overview, but I suggest you check out my full article on it here:

• How to Use Anchoring to Mesmerize Women
  

That discussed, let’s talk about how to make women you’re seeing do what you’d like them to do... with orgasms.

The relaxed bar opener lets you meet girls in a bar in a relaxed, natural, sociable way. All you need to do it is a cool wingman, and halfway decent fundamentals.

Much of what we talk about when it comes to cold approach centers on walking up to new women solo and delivering an opener. Often we discuss going out alone to meet girls. Or we might talk about rolling with a wingman, yet treat it as little different from rolling solo; just two guys roving the streets, bars, or parties on the prowl, and when one guy sees a girl he likes the looks of, he goes in.

Today’s article is about a more relaxed approach you can take while out with a wingman in a social venue (bars, parties, nightclubs), that makes it easy for you to meet new girls in a laid back, low pressure way, without looking like the ‘guy on a mission’ who goes around and chats up every available girl.

If you’re new to approaching and want an easy way for you and a friend to transition into chatting up new women, this is a prime candidate for that. Or even if you’re an old hand and simply prefer a more relaxed evening on the town, this approach serves nicely.

Let’s talk about what this approach is.

You never want to explain yourself to a woman’s tough questions. Yet to brush them off, you need the right tactics – and the right mentality.

We’ve talked about tough questions (which fall under the umbrella of ‘tests’) before. I’ve given you some ways to answer these well, as well as a formula to know how to respond to such challenges (i.e., status and respect). And, perhaps most importantly of all, I cautioned you never to explain yourself to women.

Today we’ll talk about a few specific varieties of challenging questions you can receive (from both men and women... though we’ll focus mainly on questions from women today). That variety is tough questions; questions that put you on the spot, in a not-so-helpful-to-your-cause sort of way.

We’ll talk about brushing these questions off. But there’s going to be a twist to how we do this; we don’t want to do a brush off in a way that looks like we are trying not to answer. That’s because if you evade someone’s questions (for too long), it seems like you’re frightened, or have something to hide.

So instead, we want to brush tough questions off in a way that either blows up the question, or lets us answer it on more favorable terms.

Your body positioning says a lot about you… and it even tells the people who see you and talk to you how to feel about you. Here’s how to position yourself in nightclubs.

Hey guys, I wanted to cover a part of the seduction process that has not been thoroughly explained and is crucial for having good results when picking up girls at bars and clubs. This article is meant for those of you who practice night game.

Alek Rolstad and I were talking the other day, and we slipped onto the topic of positioning. We were amazed how much we used it but didn’t discuss it. We have actually been using a lot of deliberate techniques we never talked about.

After a while of doing seduction, some learned tools become ingrained and you stop reflecting on them. What I’m about to cover I learned from thousands of interactions. Over the years, I have been adjusting my methods of positioning, and I will now share some simple tips about when and why to position yourself in certain ways in clubs to reach the maximal result – the pull.