Tactics Tuesdays

Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.

Use the 'heavy pause' in the right moment, just before you escalate. It makes it EASIER to make moves with the women you want to make moves with.

A pregnant pause is a pause you make before you say something impactful, or when you wait for the other person to fill in the silence.

Yet there's a specific type of pregnant pause we can use for specific situations, right before escalation.

To differentiate this pause from the more generic pregnant pause, let's call this type of pause the 'heavy pause'.

You can use a heavy pause before any important courtship milestone:

• Once you're talking to her, before you ask her to come sit with you

• Once you're talking to her, before you ask her to change venues with you

• Before you invite her home with you

• Before you kiss her the first time

• Before you get intimate with her

Heavy pauses serve as a sort of 'moment of truth' when you find out whether a girl is ready for the next step or not.

They also let you build up anticipation before you take the plunge... which makes the next move you make all the sweeter.

And if you're used to speeding through your interactions, a few heavy pauses at the right places can make all the difference between a rushed courtship versus one that proceeds at a whirlwind pace yet never feels hurried to her.

Here's an easy way to make a girl more likely to comply with a request: add an easy-to-comply second request, which makes complying with the first AUTOMATIC.

The girl you've met at the bar you're at seems like she's just about being ready to be pulled.

"Well," you say to her, "if you've had enough socializing, let's go get that nightcap." You pause a split second. "You have to promise to be a good houseguest though," you add.

She smiles, and a light tinkle of laughter ripples out of her. "I promise," she says.

You offer her the crook of your arm, she wraps her arm through it, and out the doors of the bar you stride, into the night together.

You see what happened there?

You skipped right over asking her to decide if she's coming with you or not... one of the most nerve-wracking moments for most guys. Instead, you asked her something else -- something easier -- to which she said "yes."

And the moment she said yes to that second, easier request, her compliance with the earlier, bigger one became automatic.

How did that work?

Well, you used a secondary compliance request (that she be a good houseguest), to obtain automatic compliance with the primary request (that she come to your house).

Neat trick, right? Let's look at it a little more in-depth.

The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too.

An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic.

For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible little restaurant when driving around Southside last Sunday. Do you ever drive around Southside? I know it's a little down in the dumps but blah blah..."

You opened the topic of 'incredible little restaurant', then switched to a different topic (driving around Southside).

Meanwhile, you've left the 'incredible little restaurant' topic open. You can now loop back to it later if you wish.

Open loops are handy, because they serve as ready topics for you to switch back to later on. If one topic of conversation dries up, you can flip back to a loop you opened earlier.

Master conversationalists create lots of open loops. Open loops can serve as lifelines, bailing you out when something you tried conversationally does not work.

Seeding is a kind of open loop -- where you open the loop of something you'd like to do with someone at some point, then return to it later on.

Open loops have many uses.

For today's Tactics Tuesdays installment, I'll show you several of those uses (to help you get the gist of the tactic... but there are myriad uses for open loops), and I'll give you more examples of how to open a loop within your conversations.

Need to show off a few attractive qualities to a girl who's curious but not hooked? The attraction story is your great and useful friend for this.

An attraction story is a story you tell that makes women listening feel more interested in, excited about, and comfortable toward you.

It does so by showing a girl attractive qualities about the ways you think, act, and live your life, via the story you tell. These same qualities that entrance women also make other men view you as cooler, higher status, and more dominant... so attraction stories really work to make everyone like you more. In the old seduction community they used to be known as a 'display of higher value' (DHV).

Here's an example of a quick attraction story:

So a few weeks ago I was at this bar in another country I was in for a marketing conference. And you know when I go to these things I always go to the lectures to hear what people are doing right now in marketing. I never go to the networking part. I used to do it but I never got anything worthwhile out of it, just got a bunch of business cards I'll never use.

So I went out to a bar on my own and honestly it's a lot more fun than hanging out with a bunch of business people trying to trade business cards who are either bored to meet you or treat you like a piece of meat, depending on what they think they can get from you.

You go to the bar with the locals and you get to have cool conversations with local guys and get random local girls grinding up on you. You have to go by yourself if you do this though because if you go with friends people you intimidate people and they'll stay away. Go solo and it's 10x easier to meet people; you're just some random friendly person anyone can meet.

There's a bunch going on in that story (which I'll break down for you later), but the net effect is you probably end up feeling like the storyteller is a pretty cool, authoritative, knowledgeable guy. If that's congruent with his appearance and behavior with this gal, she is going to feel more intrigued and excited about him when he tells her this tale.

You'll use attraction stories most during the most pivotal times of a seduction:

• When you've first met this girl, and she's open to learning more about you, but not quite hooked

• When you've just transitioned somewhere else with a girl (like to a seated position, or to another venue), and you need to get the conversation going again and want to make her feel like she made the right choice in going along with you

• When you have a little dead time while you're waiting for something else, like for her or your friends to return, or for a bus or taxi to arrive

Used at the right time, the vibe gets more intimate, and you spike a woman's interest in you. She will cozy up more to you, get more comfortable, and open herself up more.

Of course, there's a wrong time to use these too, so let's look at timing first.

When you see a guy in a two-girl kiss, do you wish it was you between those lips? Well, it’s not so hard to pull off with this three-step strategy.

Kissing a girl is good. Kissing two girls at the same time? Double good.

For those who have trouble kissing even one girl, this might sound like an unrealistic challenge. And it might be.

But it’s a lot easier than you think.

Center to our discussion today is something called preselection. You’ve heard of being preapproved for a credit card, right? The credit card company uses math to find people with decent enough credit scores and then offers these people a new credit card. Those people are preapproved based on math. Well, preselection works like that, but with girls preapproving you for kisses (and also sex and relationships).

Now, in contrast to credit card companies, there isn’t much research necessary for a girl to read your value. If a girl sees you with another girl, especially a pretty or even beautiful girl, her body will do all the calculations necessary and immediately get a little wet for you.

You see, a girl needs to like something about you before even flirting with you (much less offering up her lips or vagina). But if she doesn't know you, she needs to employ other measures, such as testing you, to see if you are someone she ought to chase: your fashion, your face, your “screw everything” attitude. Something.

And this can take time. She may be attracted when you approach her, but she needs to see how you act in the next few minutes. Are you the real deal? Then, she goes on a date with you and maybe starts to get really wet if you play it well.

So, what if a girl sees you with a girl as hot as her or hotter?

Instant wetness. But now, instead of an initial attraction only, it’s initial attraction AND security in her instincts. There you are, kissing that gorgeous girl. It’s all the proof she needs that you're the real deal.