Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Asking Girls Out Over Text: A Big No-No If You Met In-Person

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ask out over text or in-personDid you meet a cute girl but not really flirt with her or ask her out? Then later you texted her to ask her out but she blocked you? Here’s why it happens.

I keep seeing guys do this, so I guess it’s worth devoting its own article to to put an end to.

Some guy on Reddit writes that meeting women in real life is hard, after he tries asking a woman he met in real life out in a not-real-life medium:

I got this keyboard from this girl from buy nothing and when I picked it up I noticed she was really pretty so when I got home I messaged her again saying I thought she was pretty and asking if she was single. Then without a word she blocks me. What should I do differently in the future to not make her uncomfortable enough to block me? What can I do different to get a gf from it if that happens in the future?

There’s no mention there of whether she seemed to be interested in him or not. My guess is if she was he would’ve put that in. So obviously the odds are already stacked against him in this one.

Hey, we’ve all got to start somewhere.

But he goes and pulls the ultimate scaredy-cat move:

Met her in-person, didn’t ask her out, waited until he’d left her side, then texted her asking her out later. Cringe.

What’s so bad with that?

Nothing at all, nothing at all… well, assuming you want her to see you as cowardly and sneaky.

If you don’t want her to see you as cowardly and sneaky, you should never, ever ask a girl out over text who you COULD HAVE asked out in-person.

Tactics Tuesdays: Bait Then Subvert

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

bait then subvertWant a simple way to hook women in? Bait them with something that sounds juicy or provocative… then subvert their expectations.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today we will discuss hook techniques that will immerse her deeper into the interaction and serve as a transition into any topic.

Curiosity leads to immersion. When she’s immersed, transitions are easier because she’s hooked in. Immersion generates compliance—she will listen to what you say.

Because of the “hooking” nature of these gambits, they work exceptionally well for early game when you don’t yet have a hook and have time for fancier transitions. In these settings, baits can be a shortcut to deliver a transition quickly.

Also, generating curiosity early solidifies your hook post-opening. You stimulate, intrigue, and immerse her. It helps you proceed smoothly.

Of course, you can use baits anytime during the interaction. It keeps the interaction fun and fresh. However, you get the most bang for your buck by adding them early.

Flirtation with a Girl Is Useless Unless You Move Things FORWARD

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

flirtation needs escalationIt can feel good to flirt with girls. Yet if you take no action, there’s no point kidding yourself it will lead anywhere. You must make moves to get girls.

A few weeks ago one of our forum members shared a text conversation he had where the girl told him she just wanted to be friends. He asked whether he’d made his intentions too obvious too soon or if this was just a girl looking for orbiters.

He said little about his initial interaction with her, except to say they had a 30-minute chat in a supermarket. During the chat, he said, the girl was flirtatious and excited, talking so loudly for that whole 30 minutes that everybody watched them.

My instinct – which he then confirmed – was that he just stood there with her for 30 minutes in the supermarket, chatting and flirting, then grabbed her number and departed.

That is to say, he did NOT:

  • Get her sitting down somewhere with him (even just outside)

  • Close the distance some and escalate on her physically

All he did was stand around and flirt.

Then after 30 minutes of this, he took her number.

Now, this member’s text game needs some serious work as well. So the initial interaction was not the only flaw. But it’s the most important one. Bad texting can be overcome with a great initial interaction. A bad initial interaction won’t be overcome even with the best texting in the world.

The mistake he made is one I see lots of guys make… and one I made too many times myself as a novice too:

Mistaking flirtation for escalation.

Tactics Tuesdays: Nested DHV Stories

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

nested dhv storiesDHV stories let you showcase attractive qualities. Yet you don’t want to boast. So what can you do? Nest your value.

When you talk to somebody else, that person only knows two things about you:

  • What you tell him about you
  • What you show him about you

The way you talk about yourself, the types of stories you tell, and your manner of telling them is all part of this, too. All these things both show and tell.

The name of the game in human social interaction is to convey valuable traits, but do so in an adroit way that others can recognize without it being in their faces. This amplifies the value you have on display, because it positions you as a socially savvy man. Social savvy is a key aspect of a man’s attractiveness; in fact, it is one of our four categories of attractive fundamentals.

So you want to tell people valuable things about yourself, but you don’t want to come right out and brag. How can you do it?

One way that we’ll talk about today is by nesting displays of higher value inside entertaining stories that on the surface appear to display lower value.

"Working on a Girl": Does It ACTUALLY Get You Anywhere with Her?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

working on a girlGuys always talk about “working on a girl” and them “getting somewhere with her.” Does this strategy actually work or is it a lot of hot air?

So long as I can remember, I have had guys tell me about girls they were “working on.”

Seems like every other guy has some girl somewhere he is “getting somewhere with.” If you just put a little more time in, the theory goes… just show her a bit more of your personality… then before you know it, she’ll be yours!

We might call this the “Workman Method” for getting girls:

Pick a girl, and just keep working at it until she becomes yours.

This approach would be perfect if girls were rocks, and a guy could claim one for himself, drag it to his workshop, and chip away at it for as long as he needed until the rock became a beautiful sculpture, just for him.

Or maybe build her like a mannequin... remember that movie? Where the guy works on the female mannequin for way too long, and eventually she comes to life and falls in love with him?

The tragic reality however is that girls are not rocks, nor mannequins, and it rarely works out the way men following this “Workman Method” hope.

Why doesn’t working on a girl to get somewhere with her work out most of the time?

Sex Talk Calibration, Pt. 2: How Explicit to Be

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk expliticnessThe explicitness of your sex talk is key. Too explicit, and some girls will be turned off. Not explicit enough, however, and some other girls won’t be interested.

Hey all. Last week we covered sex talk calibration given different contexts. You should consider the contextual factors when talking to a girl about sex. Today I would like to discuss how to calibrate how explicit you should and can be when talking about sex.

Today and next week, we will discuss transitioning into sex talk. As you know, sex talk helps with many areas:

  • Stimulates her
  • Sets a sexual frame
  • Conveys attractive personality traits like sexual knowledge and experience (sexual prizing)
  • Diffuses resistance with your set
  • Generates sexual comfort
  • Escalates the vibe

It’s an essential dimension in sex talk calibration. Combining this post with part one will make you a more calibrated sex talker.

3 Advanced Ways to Be More Charismatic (Be Like the Pros!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ways to be more charismaticOnce you have the basics of charisma down, it’s time for the big guns. These 3 strategies let you draw people in like the coolest charismatics around.

The other day I posted my beginner’s guide to charisma.

If you’re new to the idea of upping your personal magnetism, make sure to check that one out.

This one’s for the charismatic veterans… those old smoothies who are already old in the ways of charming the socks off everyone they encounter.

As a reminder, today’s the LAST day for the “charisma week” sale.

That means it’s your last chance to save a whopping $80 when you pick up my total charisma course, “Charisma in a Bottle.” You’re going to want to have that – you can grab it here:

>> Pick Up Chase’s Charisma-Giving Course “CHARISMA IN A BOTTLE”

Just be sure to grab that right now, and use the coupon code “CHARISMAWEEK”, because a day from now that discount’s gone.

Now, let’s dig into the three (3) advanced ways to be more charismatic I have for you today.

I promise you you’ve never encountered these strategies anywhere else… because I’ve never seen or heard them anywhere else!

All these are strategies I’ve used from watching highly charismatic individuals in televised interviews as well as in-person, and each one is one I’ve used and abused for years to get down pat. They all work great, and they ALL increase your charisma.

Let’s dig into ‘em.

Getting Started Quick with Charisma: Beginner's Guide

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

charisma beginnersCAPTION

When you have charisma, everything you do socially gets (a lot) easier.

  • People like you more, respect you, listen to you, defer to you, want to get to know you

  • Girls want to go out with you, want to keep going out with you, and go to bed with you

  • Men want to roll you into their networks and introduce their friends to you

  • Hiring managers want to put you into all kinds of different jobs

It’s like everything you touch starts turning to gold. Everything interpersonal becomes so much more streamlined.

>> Get My End-to-End Charisma Mastery Course Charisma in a Bottle; 27% Off Before Friday

The HARD, however, is taking those first steps toward being charismatic.

When you’re not charismatic yet, it may feel like charismatic individuals exist a world away from you.

So, in this article, we’ll discuss how to start diving in to the world of oozing personal magnetism.

Sex Talk Calibration, Pt. 1: Context for Sex Talk

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk contextSex talk’s a mighty tool for arousing girls in-field. Nevertheless, get the context wrong and it flops. The context MUST be right for sex talk’s success.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today and next week, we will discuss transitioning into sex talk. As you know, sex talk helps with many areas:

  • Stimulates her
  • Sets a sexual frame
  • Conveys attractive personality traits like sexual knowledge and experience (sexual prizing)
  • Diffuses resistance with your set
  • Generates sexual comfort
  • Escalates the vibe

The way we talk about sex is to discuss a sexual subject, whether it is a sociological, philosophical, or social-psychological subject linked to sex. It’s not “I want to do this and that to you,” as this would ruin your frame and trigger premature resistance (if not rejections), but instead, we talk about sex as any other interesting subject: you debate and discuss it and share knowledge.

The frame is “this is what I believe, what I know, this is my experience, and it is fascinating. I enjoy discussing this amazing subject with cool people.”

Thus, the overall frame is, “I could make you experience all these things if you are the right girl for me, but I am not saying I necessarily will.” Notice the modality difference between “will/want to do” vs. “may/could do.” For more details, read this post: Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?.

You may also check out this post: Showing Intent Without Showing Your Intentions.

What’s the most challenging aspect with talking about sex? According to my students and me, it is not talking about the topic but getting to where it is comfortable enough to bring up the subject: transitioning into it.

Women find sex topics interesting and stimulating, but it can be tricky to steer the conversation in this direction. Women find discussing sex one of the most intriguing subjects out there.

The problem is that sex talk, even when done correctly, can potentially trigger resistance.

We will discuss resistance to sex talk and how to avoid it through calibration. We’ll cover sex talk calibration, emphasizing transitioning, usually the shakiest phase to maneuver. Once you get comfortable talking about sex, things get much easier, although you may still need some additional focus on calibration.

For those wondering how you transition into sex talk, do not worry. I will share a few words about it and link to posts covering different techniques at the end of this article.

How to Get Girls You're Sleeping with to Want You as a Boyfriend

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get a girl to want you as a boyfriendSometimes girls sleep with guys they don’t want to date. Here’s how to get a girl to want you as a boyfriend even if she doesn’t think she does (at first).

Most guys struggle to get together with the girls they really want.

Girls slow game them, won’t put out, or turn flakey or start ghosting. They evade the guy’s attempts to take things intimate, and may never go to bed with him.

However, for these guys struggling to bed girls, there’s generally one upside: the girls they do bed tend to be “theirs to lose” when it comes to a relationship. Once she goes to bed with them, she sticks around, tries to make it work, and does her best to push for something serious.

But there’s another class of men where things are the complete opposite.

For these men, getting women into bed is no issue; keeping them around, however, surely is.

Girls might stick around for a bit in short-term relationships. Yet they never stay for something serious.

How do you get girls you’re sleeping with to want you as a boyfriend if you’re this type of guy?

Well, there’re two different reasons this happens to men – once you identify which of the two is causing girls to not want you as a boyfriend, you’ll be well on your way to changing their minds about you.