Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Don’t Ask For a Guarantee

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Don’t Ask For a Guarantee

If only a woman just saw you better and gave you that chance to say your piece you would have the time and motivation to do your best, right?

We all like to think we are pretty handy, when push comes to shove. We think that if we throw ourselves into something head first or are given the opportunity we will knock it out of the park. Sadly, the reality is that often we choke or let the opportunity pass us by out of a fear of failure. We don’t capitalize on opportunities, and we often even discourage them, treating them like annoyances to be purged instead of chances to grow.

We enjoy thinking of ourselves as champions who will come out on top at the moment of truth, but the reality is usually much more awkward, and the solutions are somewhat unavailable to ordinary perception at first glance, so we try to bury those opportunities instead of trying to grasp them.

No one likes feeling awkward or blind, so we try to suppress our fears of failure through negotiation. It gives an illusion of sophistication or thoughtfulness that is socially accepted. In certain cultures and time periods it is extremely prevalent; arranged marriages, cultural dress, duties, etc. And it is all arranged in a way that takes certain social status away from the woman to limit her options in order to make her more pliable. We forget that it is affecting her life in a negative way to unsuccessfully enhance our own.

High Strategy: The 7 Unresolvable Romantic Conflicts of Interest

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Since my last article on the rebellious mind dealt with the concepts of uncertainty and unknowableness – topics which are always uncomfortable for us since human beings tend to be “truth seekers” who want a final answer (hence: science, religion, philosophy, etc.) – I figured I’d delve into a topic normally cloaked in unknowableness today too.

Specifically, I want to talk about the conflicts of interest inherent in romance and seduction, some of which are effectively irresolvable.

There are many simpler aspects of meeting and having relationships with women that are resolvable, such as:

These all fall into tactical, operational, or, in the case of the last three (or a particularly tricky situation on the first three), some degree of strategic.

However, there are problems in romance that are unresolvable because you and the girl simply have end objectives that are too different, or even in active opposition.

conflicts of interest

These occur at the romance equivalent of “high strategy”, and if yours and hers are diametrically opposed, then one of you must submit his wants to the other’s wants, or the relationship will fail.

I suppose I should caveat then that these are normally unresolvable conflicts of interest – from time to time, one of you may cave to the other and give in to that other’s desire for where the relationship goes (or where it doesn’t go), but unless one party abandons what is in his or her best interests, these conflicts do not resolve in any way other than you and her going your separate ways and meeting other people.

Unless you hack your way around them, which we’ll also talk about (a little later), rather than address them head on again and again and again like what most people try and fail to do.

How Narcissism, Bad Relationships, and Other Problems May Stall Your Progress as a Seducer

Halvor Jannike's picture

By: Halvor Jannike

Many men who learn seduction get to the level where they get laid, but very few reach their full potential. Why is that so and what can we do about it?

This article is only directly relevant for intermediates and up, but I would still recommend everyone read it. Knowledge about potential future traps enables people to avoid them in advance and do fewer stupid things to themselves and others in the future.

6 Strategic Changes to Make Your Growth Curve as a Seducer More Efficient

Ethan Fierre's picture

By: Ethan Fierre

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Ethan Fierre, the man in charge of the editing team here at Girls Chase. You might hear ‘editor’ and imagine a nerdy, bookworm-ish type, however Ethan is anything but – he’s vibrant, dynamic, and full of crazy tales about women he’s bedded from the U.S., Russia, and more. For his first piece here, he’ll be talking about how to learn and progress with seduction faster. Here’s Ethan.

Working on any skill-set will inevitably sometimes be a grind, and seduction is no exception; sometimes you just wish there were easier ways to get to the level you want to be at. This is likely why you turn to sites like this one in the first place: you are trying to speed up you growth curve by learning from those who are at a higher level than you in the area you’re targeting.

Growth Curve as a Seducer More Efficient

In seduction there are a number of strategic changes you can make where the marginal gain per unit effort is high. That means that you put in a minimal amount of effort while gaining maximum returns.

What are these strategic changes?

That is what we’ll be talking about today: basic strategic changes that will dramatically increase your conversion rate (going from the initial meet to the bedroom and onward) for beginner and intermediate seducers.

But first, an aside: depending on where you’re at on your growth curve, your strategy will necessarily be different.

For example, someone who is just learning about seduction will probably want to be approaching a lot of people all the time, while someone who is more skilled will find less use in that practice and will instead improve faster by focusing on other things, like the relationships they already have or their reputations.

Because of this, I have organized this post into two sections:

  1. One for beginners and
  2. One for intermediate players (journeymen)

If you don’t know where you stand, you can take this test to find out.

Remember: knowing where you’re at now compared to where you were when you began and where you’re aiming to be in the future is important to keep in mind if you are to steadily make progress. You don’t want to be targeting goals that are too easy for you, but you also don’t want to be aiming for things that feel unattainable, as that will discourage instead of encourage you. So, keeping that in mind, let’s dive in.

How to Manage Premature Ejaculation So She Still Thinks You’re a Man

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Premature ejaculation is a very common problem. Sometimes men get nervous when sex is about to take place, sometimes so nervous that they scare themselves away from having intercourse at all. Once with the girl, you are happy, yet you may still be nervous about messing it all up.

By cumming fast you feel like less of a man; you feel ashamed, you feel you have disappointed her. You want her to feel like she has ended up with a sex god in bed, not with a kiddo who barely gets laid and gets over-excited when he first gets some.

But then suddenly you stick it in and shortly after you’ve already cum.

Premature Ejaculation

It is such a shame, because all your hard work only gave you two minutes of reward. How disappointing. However, many men face this problem. It is not so uncommon – so don’t feel ashamed, as there are ways out of this!

Make Her Feel Like a Woman

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Have you ever had a night out with a girl that really made you feel like a man?

If you are anything like me, it made you feel like you could conquer mountains. All the amazing things about being a man are amplified tenfold when a woman helps you remember that you ARE indeed a man. It is an intoxicating mix of sensations that helps you notice the contrasts of life that at other times blur together, and it releases all that dopamine and those feel-good hormones that make you feel like you have purpose.

You appreciate the fact that you are a man, and it rouses a deep sense of pride in you.

Make Her Feel Like a Woman

Having her on your arm, laughing, smiling and trusting, you strengthen your sense of self like nothing else.

Now imagine that all these effects also happen to a woman when you help her to feel like one. On a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think it is she will give you her number, a date, a kiss, follow you in a sexual relationship? Will she hold up limitless resistance and string you along? Forget about it! She would not waste an OUNCE of that perfect feeling. She will want to breathe you in and be intoxicated by this world of womanhood you have allowed her to enter, and she will be grateful.

Women are truly beautiful creatures, and this is never more apparent than when you are a man who can make a girl come ALIVE into her womanly whiles.

A Rebellious Mind; or, Not Taking Anything at Face Value

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

rebellious mindIn “When to Throw the Ball into Her Court (and When Not To)”, a reader writes:

“You have some vague guides on believing certain things as well as some articles on what you should believe. You have some important ideas like independence and having conviction spread out throughout your site. What your website really lacks though is a guide to psychological strength. What it is, how you get it, why its more important then fundamentals (or at least as important). Many of your articles peripherally address this concept. What do I mean though by psychological strength? A great question, I’m glad you asked. I love concision so I’m going to describe it in two words. Irreverence and identity. I believe that true leadership and independence only comes from uprooting everything that influenced you in your past. Deconstructing your beliefs. Consciously assessing all your beliefs and finally replacing your previously held beliefs with new ones. These new beliefs are what give you conviction in your life. You form a new belief in yourself, a self-concept, self-respect, and self-adoration. Finally leading to self-actualization. It starts with irreverence and a challenging mentality of everything and finishes with an identity.
Ciao”

I have considered writing on this topic before, but shied away from it because I honestly don’t think it’s something that most people aspire to.

It’s also not something I have consciously learned to any degree, which makes me skeptical of its teachability – I don’t generally like talking about things that in my case are more natural ability than they are adopted qualities.

However, I suppose it’s at least worth having up for anyone curious for curiosity’s sake, so heck... why not talk about it.

Caveats out of the way then, allow me to present the psychological qualities of irreverence, personal conviction, and psychological independence – and how you perhaps may develop them if you choose to.

Every Girl Has a Type – Are You Hers… or Aren’t You?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

are you her typeIn “The Ultimate Guide on How to Get a Girl Back”, Danny writes:

“This really rings true right now, I have been flirting with a girl for a few months, getting to know her and building quite a bit of chemistry. She works at a coffee shop I go to work on my computer. She had a boyfriend at the time, we met, who was shitty, manipulative and distant. We talked a lot and as soon as they broke up we said we should hang out, texted and flirted a lot more than previously, but she was always aloof about hanging out. In an attempt to show here I was not the kind of shitty guy she had been dating, I told her outright how I feel, that Im not the kind of guy to play games, or try and play the field, and she has been pulling back more. It seems like I came on to strong, and now she feels either disinterested or like she can have fun and Ill just sit there and wait.

In our last conversation, which did not go great (she didnt get mad, just wasnt as forward as normal) we actually talked frankly, said we were both interested in each other, but then she brought up just getting out of a relationship, always hanging out with friends etc. so, expressing both interest and disinterest at the same time

would be interested to hear thoughts.”

That’s a crummy place to be in. Really no fun.

However, the scenario is amazingly common: you see a girl dating a guy that you know is just all wrong for her.

She complains about him, she hates him, she despises him. She breaks up with him, gets back together with him, then breaks back up with him again.

And a light bulb goes off: if you can just show her you’re different from him, she’ll be yours.

As soon as she realizes that you’re nicer, or cooler, or more considerate, or even sexier, this girl will jump from his branch to your branch.

Then you try it, and... it doesn’t work. She doesn’t get together with you.

You tear your hair out in frustration, but it doesn’t help. In the end, she starts dating another guy just like her ex, and your mind is blown. Doesn’t she realize he’s EXACTLY like that guy she just left whom she hates so much?

The reason this occurs is simpler than you might think, though: it isn’t because some mysterious force intervened, or the “timing wasn’t right”, or any of the myriad other reasons a girl will give you herself.

The simple fact is that she has a type... and you aren’t it.

How to Have Sex When You’re New and Unsure

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

In your lifetime you will have many experiences. Some will be frustrating. Some will be triumphant. Some will be painful. Some will be easily forgotten.

But there are some experiences that everyone remembers. For many people in the West, for example, one of those experiences is their first car. Whenever you asked someone in the West about their first car they get this very wondrous and nostalgic look in their eyes. And you can tell that a wonderful story is about to unfold.

But for all people, one experience that people will never forget no matter what is the time they lost their virginity. Regardless if it was awkward, lackluster, or incredible, this experience will always leave an indelible mark on the storyline of every person’s life. And it will always be something they can readily account without a moment’s hesitation.

But what if you haven’t had this experience yet? What if you’ve been wondering what it would be like to cross this threshold, this rite of passage, and feel for yourself what all people have engaged in for ages past? What if you don’t know how to have sex?

The thought probably makes you feel excited. It probably makes you feel nervous. And it probably fills you with the pressure of feeling like you have to do it at the right time, in the right place, and with the right person.

So how do you know when the time is right for you? And when you do decide, how do you go about actually doing it? That’s the topic I’ll be covering today. I’m going to talk about what factors should influence your decision to have sex the first time and how to go about having sex when you’re new and a bit unsure.

The uncertainty can definitely be a little nerve-racking, but just know that you’re not alone in feeling that way.