Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Use Sexual Tension to Escalate to Sex

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

escalate to sex
Once you’ve built some sexual tension, what do you do with it? Well, using high notes, and 3 types of make-out, you escalate to sex.

Hello there. Today’s goal is to wrap up this 7-part series on sexual tension, which I hope you have enjoyed. This will also be the closing post of my bigger “non-verbal seduction” series, of which the sexual tension topic was a part. If you are only just now joining us, here are parts one through six:

  1. Sexual Tension Basics: What is Sexual Tension?
  2. How to Create Sexual Tension with Women
  3. What to Do When She Giggles or Jokes (Hint: Don't Break Tension!)
  4. Create Comfort with Her, and Sexual Tension Comes Easy
  5. How to Recover from a Sexual Tension Break
  6. Fractionation as Sexual Tension Amplifier (Make Her Crazy Horny)

Now, I would like to make the following clear: yes, I am closing off this series, but this does not mean I will no longer be discussing the non-verbal aspects of seduction in the future. Quite the contrary; you can count on more to come.

So, today we will discuss the closing, or rather, the final touch before you go in for the pull (i.e., tips on extracting her from the venue back to your place). In other words, we will discuss the final push. Along the way, I will share a few very cool and powerful escalation moves that didn’t make it in other posts so far. So, even though this post will have a main topic, some practical bonus nuggets will be added.

Dating Success is Probability, Not Cause and Effect

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

cause vs. probability
If you think about success with women as cause and effect, you’ve got it all wrong. You must think in terms of probabilities.

First off, causality and probability are not opposites.

But from a mental models point of view, they may as well be.

Most people in most walks of life think about things in terms of causality. Causes have effects, and effects have causes. If X happens, it’s because you did Y... or someone did. And if you do Y, X will happen.

This is what we might call ‘normal thinking’. It’s how the untrained mind interprets everything.

If you go out to the bar at night, and meet a girl, and you and her end up in bed together, you caused that.

If you hit on a girl in the office, and she rejects you, and then the entire office mocks you for weeks for it, you caused that too.

We’re going to unpack a lot of this thinking today. I’m going to show you why it’s not entirely correct, and in fact is more incorrect than correct.

Along the way, I’m going to expose a lot of wrong thoughts you likely have about seduction, about social interaction, and about the way the world itself works.

Touch a Girl and Take Her Home | Podcast with Pablo Garcia

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

Welcome back to another edition of the Girls Chase Dating Mechanics Podcast. In this episode, I interview Pablo Garcia, Girls Chase contributor and winner of a seduction community contest for the seducer who could be the most new girls in a single year. In this podcast, Pablo gives you an incredible array of ways to touch women that turn

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Her on Touchy Topics

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

touchy topics
Women conceal the past. So how do you get the skinny on them on touchy topics… Without them shutting down or blowing up?

A reader named Eric writes in:

“Hey, just wondering how do you screen a girl for topics that she might not want to talk about or for things that wouldn’t be in her best interest to tell you like daddy issues or if she has ever cheated in a relationship without coming off as too insecure or too aggressive?”

This is a pretty fun topic. How do you get girls to be straight with you on stuff they’d rather not be?

Two days ago, I published “Why Won’t Women Just Say What They Want?”, which is all about women’s tendency toward the vague and ambiguous. This can make it hard to nail a girl down on some topics... Especially the topics she doesn’t want you to nail her down on.

Further, women usually cloak the less marketable parts of their pasts in secrecy (and even go so far as to discourage investigation into their pasts: “Why does it matter?” “The past is irrelevant!”). Men do this too, but the female version of the murky past is the big leagues; men are the J.V. squad of concealment, compared to how women do.

Yet, those parts of her past she doesn’t want you to know about may be exactly the things you need to know about most. In “Why Her Past Matters If You Want Something Serious”, I shared a trio of scientific investigations into women’s age at first sex, their tendencies to sleep with male friends, and their religious service attendance... and how these three things relate to the level of fidelity you can expect from them, on average. And in “How Many Partners Has Your Girlfriend Had? Find Out Here”, I highlight a study that finds a woman’s infidelity risk rises 7% for each additional sex partner she has.

Particularly if you want a long-term relationship with a girl, there’s a good chance you want to know the things she may not want you to. But how do you find these things out, without her lying to you or spiraling into auto-rejection?

Buddhism, the False Face, and the Paradox of Frame

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

paradox of frame
How does Buddhism relate to dating? While you refine your persona, you must put on a “false face”… Yet as you do you deceive yourself, as much as others.

I was talking to a coaching client of mine the other day. He expressed to me how badly he wanted to be a “seduction machine” and that he was willing to do anything to reach that level.

I smiled. His enthusiasm and drive was uplifting. Also, he was willing to pay good money for probably one of the most important skills a man can have in his life: the ability to connect with women emotionally, romantically, and sexually; that is a sign of drive if anything is.

However, progress is not so simple. Or, to put it another way, it is far simpler than you can imagine.

In his imagination, he had this grand idea of “the master seducer” – a version of himself that is everything he’s ever wanted it to be: to have a voice that sizzles women’s ears and makes their pussies tremble, to walk and move with the grace and power of a seasoned warrior, to have eyes that undress women literally and emotionally, and to have a voice that commands them as though Zeus himself demanded their obedience.

Unfortunately, this self is a mirage. Fortunately, it is also closer to you than your skin and your bones.

This is not a contradiction. Contradictions are when one thing needs to be right, and you say both are. This, instead, is a paradox: both statements are correct yet seem contradictory.

And it’s been my experience that if you are following a path of inquiry and have not yet reached a paradox, you haven’t gone far enough.

Why Won't Women Just Say What They Want?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women won't say what they want
Women use ambiguity for three (3) reasons: to expose a man’s true colors, to retain room to maneuver, and to preserve their social reputations.

Maybe an hour ago, I finished reviewing a lesson from The Dating Artisan, part of my upcoming master class on succeeding with women. For each of these videos, I have to review once to make sure there’s nothing that snuck in we should edit out (our DoP’s toes sneaking into the frame have been a constant annoyance), as well as to add text and citations I want added. Then I have to review the final video a second time to make sure everything checks out. Each of these videos is around 50 minutes long on average, and there are about 50 of them... so you can imagine why it’s taking me so long (that, and that we still need to build the site / file delivery system / etc. for this thing).

Anyway, at multiple points in this lesson, our actress on the shoot claims she would not like if a guy did something to her I described (in the case I’ll tell you about, it was slapping a naughty girl on the butt). Meanwhile, even as she claims this, she laughs and becomes excited and flirtatious. At one point I highlight this and say, “She’s saying ‘no’, but at some point with a guy she likes, it’s going to be ‘yes’.” If you’re at all good at reading women’s signals, it’s pretty obvious when viewing the clip how the idea affects her. Not only does she get excited in the moment, but her flirting and laughter dial up dramatically after this incident for the rest of the lesson.

If you’re an old pro, you see a situation like this and grin and go, “Yeah... girls!” You love it. It’s fun. It’s a big part of what makes the whole thing exciting.

But if you’re not so good with girls yet, this is likely to be a point of major frustration for you. “Why the living bleeding hell won’t women just say what they want?”

Because sometimes they do.

But other times they don’t.

Sometimes they say exactly what they want. Sometimes they say the opposite of what they want.

How the heck is a guy who’s not good with women yet supposed to decipher all this?

Fractionation as Sexual Tension Amplifier (Make Her Crazy Horny)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

fractionation sexual tension
When you fractionate sexual tension – by breaking tension yourself, then resuming it later – you make its effect much, much mightier on her.

Alright, this being my sixth post in my series on sexual tension, we have already covered the crucial steps. You can view the previous installments in this series here:

  1. Sexual Tension Basics: What is Sexual Tension?
  2. How to Create Sexual Tension with Women
  3. What to Do When She Giggles or Jokes (Hint: Don't Break Tension!)
  4. Create Comfort with Her, and Sexual Tension Comes Easy
  5. How to Recover from a Sexual Tension Break

Today we will add some seasoning – my favorite seasoning: fractionation. This post, therefore, will serve as a very powerful expansion on the foundational elements we’ve previously discussed.

Some may consider themselves more or less familiar with my previous posts, which will help in grasping this material. It would perhaps also be a good idea to have experimented a bit with the concepts covered in those posts in order to have built some comfort with them.

What I am going to teach you here is how to push the sexual tension to the next level and how you can gain increased control over it.

Now, this post is some topping on the cake – more of a “master class” thing.

Either way, let us get into it.

Poll: Tell Me Your Ask-Her-Out Questions… And Get My Next Book for 99 Cents

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

poll: ask her out
Tell me what you most want to know that will help you get more dates with girls. Also: share your experiences… plus how to get my next book for 99 cents.

Turn Her On in the Club | Podcast with Alek Rolstad

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

In a jam-packed interview, Alek Rolstad shares how to turn girls on (big time) in bars and nightclubs. He shows you how to escalate touch to get her excited. He shows you how to decide WHICH girls to approach (and which girls not to bother with). He shares his approach to dealing with “wild card” situations, where random elements appear to help or hinder you.

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do If You're Not That Sexy (Yet)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

not that sexy
It takes time to be sexy. Yet while you’re working on it, there’s no reason for you to go dateless in the meantime.

Writing on the Girls Chase boards, a member by the name GottaChange says:

“From what I’ve seen around the only men who manage to consistently bed women using a normal “person-to-person” frame are men who are particularly good-looking according to society’s modern criteria. It is as if their looks takes care of the attraction for them and they can just worry about having a normal interaction and move things towards sex.

All the other guys (the average-looking ones) being successful with women are, from what I have seen, those who are able to arouse women by projecting masculinity and sexuality and be consistent with it during the whole interaction. They aren’t faking it, they ARE like that.

I know for some of you this is easy if not natural, but for me this is very very hard. I can open girls using a friendly/warm/playful vibe but this doesn’t lead me anywhere. We keep bantering until she either sees me as a new friend or she loses interest and goes away.

Yeah, rarely I have had women becoming sexually interested in me even if I was just being normal and friendly, but it’s not something I can rely on regularly like I see good-looking guys do. I need to structurally change something about myself, and that’s why I chose this nickname.”

So, this is not going to be an article on how to be sexy. We already have a bunch of those – here’s a few, for starters:

Rather, this will be an article on patching things together in the short-term, before your sexy self has emerged from the sexpot chrysalis.

We touched on the lack-of-sexiness problem yesterday a bit in my massive troubleshoot post “What to Do When Your Approach Just Isn’t Working.” However, I want to give it its own treatment in article form. Partly so you don’t have to read 12,000 words to find the one paragraph that talks about it. But also because it needs highlighting – what you don’t highlight often goes unnoticed.

One of the points we harp on a lot on Girls Chase is the value of being sexy. When you are sexy, girls become... pretty straightforward. You have clear sexual value on offer that appeals to women:

  • Women who’d like a boyfriend like you appreciate it

  • Women who’d like a friend like you appreciate it too

  • And women in need of sexual release really appreciate it

Most men appreciate sexual value too. They tend to view it as ‘charismatic’ or ‘cool’. Being sexy is a boon all around.

There’s just one problem. It takes time to develop that sexy vibe if you don’t have it yet. I think it took me eight or nine months to get mine to the point where I saw noticeable changes in how women received me. So what are you supposed to do in the meantime? Scratch days off your calendar and watch the seasons pass?

Obviously, that’s not so desirable.

Instead, you’re going to have to find some other ways to make girls want to do things with you.