Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

8 Friends with Benefits Rules You Must Obey

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

friends with benefits rulesFollowing up my piece yesterday on "The 4 Stages of Every Friends with Benefits Relationship", today I'm going to get into the nuts and bolts of running your casual relationships by giving you 8 friends with benefits rules that are absolutely mandatory you follow... to not have everything go to hell in a hand basket, that is.

Friends with benefits are lots of fun, but these relationships are also loaded with the potential to get messy on the turn of a dime. All it takes is a little bending of the rules, and you can very quickly find yourself:

  • With a friend with benefits who's falling in love with you

  • Falling in love with your friend with benefits yourself

  • Experiencing confusion in your social circle about where you stand

  • Enjoying reputation damage or drama or other bad effects from things gone awry

Break the rules, and you're playing with fire without a fire extinguisher handy.

Adhere to them, and, well, let's just say you're handling fire in a responsible, fun, and mostly safe way.

So what are these rules you've got to stick to, anyway?

The 4 Stages of Every Friends with Benefits Relationship

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

content="Every friend with benefits relationship goes through 4 distinct stages: fun, relaxed, restless, and decision. Here’s what each entails.">

In Colt's piece on female intrasex competition, several commenters asked about the problem of getting a girl into a casual relationship, and keeping her there. To quote Sam, one of the commenters there:

“Very few of them were ok with a strict lover arrangement. All others wanted more than that and whenever I had the nerve to show or say to them that I was not into more than a lover arrangement I simply lost the girl either because she would cut me off or because I would not further pursue her.”

The problem, of course, is that "friends with benefits" is not an end goal for most women. That is to say, a casual sexual relationship - where you are a lover and nothing more - just ain't enough.

friend with benefits relationship

You can maintain casual relationships for varying lengths of time, depending on a number of factors, mainly having to do with the stage in her life a girl is at, and your value relative to hers in the relationship. We'll talk more about both of these below.

But the main gist of this article will focus on the four (4) stages that every friends with benefits relationship must follow:

  1. The Fun Stage
  2. The Relaxed Stage
  3. The Restless Stage
  4. The Decision Stage

... and the varying details on each.

What Causes Girl Fights and Female Competition?

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

The prospect of a girl fight holds a very special place in the minds of most men. We believe that if you voluptuous vixens start going at it, eventually their angry passion will be converted into sexual energy and they will start to make out, and even invite in a nearby man for a threesome.

But as most men who are in the know are aware of: this is very far from the truth. In fact, even if two women are fighting over a guy, the fight itself isn’t really about him. Rather, it’s about their instincts, and enacting the desire to snuff out competition in every way possible.

girl fight

That’s what every form of female competition comes down to: protecting pride and destroying the competition. And today I’m going to delve deeply into the concept of female competition: where it comes from, how it plays out, and much more importantly…how you fit in.


How to Avoid STDs Even If You Have Lots of Sex

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

avoid STDsRicardus touched on avoiding STDs a little in "Dodging the Dangers of Sex (and Dating)", though his focus there was more on some of the other dangers that can arise; and I have a post on the forums that covers a good chunk of what we'll talk about in this article here: "Re: The Dangers of Sex." However, I wanted to clean that information up and put it in a more presentable (and scannable) way - hence, this post.

When you're relatively inexperienced with women, it's easy to get freaked out about STDs. Typically, the more sexually experienced you get, the less of a "big deal" these seem like... and, generally, the more likely you are to run into them.

Yet, if you're smart, and you do your homework, it is possible to avoid STDs almost entirely, even while having lots of sex with lots of partners... BUT, you must do your homework, and you must be on top of the ball at all times, because if you're trusting your own sexual health will be looked out for by that pretty stranger you just met (after all, she seems so innocent...), you've got another thing coming.

How to Tell a Sex Story, Part II

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

Last time in Part I of this series, we discussed how to transition from a casual conversation into sharing sex stories with women, without making it awkward. I promised you that the second article concerning this topic will be about how to juice it up, but also how we can proceed after having shared a sex story with a girl.

So here is the plan for today:

  • How to add more Juice to your sex stories

  • What to do after sharing your awesome sex story

  • Finish it off with a recap

3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In my travels, I've been fortunate to have met a number of different men with different personalities who've all found success with women their own unique ways. One of the patterns I've picked up on has been that each of these men's "vibes", if you will, fall into one of three rough categories:

  • Brooding / sad
  • Smooth / charming
  • Talkative / dynamic

No one of these vibes (or airs, or auras, or whatever term you like) is better than another, though each one appeals to different subsets of women. Some are more popular at different times of life - most of the teen male heartthrobs you'll see in books and movies are brooding, for instance, while the majority of mature (30+) male sex symbols hew more closely to the "smooth" way of doing things - but each can be used successfully at any point in a guy's life; there are plenty of talkative young guys who clean up with women, and I've seen my fair share of brooding older guys who do well with the vibe despite their lack of youth.

This article is broken down into three major sections: one on each of the 3 flavors of vibe. So read on, and find out which kind of sexual vibe is best suited to you - and, how you can learn to adapt each of these vibes for your own use, where needed.

2013: The Year in Review + 49 Top Posts

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

It's been a prolific year for writing on Girls Chase - we've seen 250 new articles hit the site this year, from 10 different contributors. If you're curious about individual tallies, we're at:

  • 2 articles by Eric Reeves on power dynamics

  • 2 articles by Ross Leon on getting in great shape and stopping judgment

  • 3 articles by J.J. Jones on getting investment and being attractive

  • 6 articles by Richard Weddel on cold reading and various other techniques

  • 7 articles by Cody Lyans on low-profile under-the-radar seductiveness

  • 12 articles by Alek Rolstad, on sexual frames, threesomes, and sex reports

  • 12 articles by Drexel Scott on NLP, frame-setting, and threesomes with girlfriends

  • 14 articles by Peter Fontes on social circle and various topics

  • 25 articles by Colt Williams on everything from sexting to entitlement to party sex

  • ... and 167 articles by me, Chase Amante, covering the full gamut of things we cover on this site (and a few topics we usually don't)

(links to each writer's list of articles when clicking on his name above)

2013 year in review

Since I don't want to appear biased in deciding, but also since I personally have 3x as many articles on here this year as everyone else combined, I've decided to split a "Best of 2013" list into two lists - 17 of the best articles by our other authors out of the 58 they've written, and 32 of the best articles out of the 167 I've put out. I tried to narrow it down more than this, but this is about as whittled down as I could get this list - descriptions for each article follow links, to help you choose what to read right now.

Unless you've read everything on here as it's come out, you're likely to find at least a couple of gems in here you haven't yet read - and even if you have, there are probably a few you'll have forgotten about, but will be happy to stumble across once more.

Here we go.

What Women Like: The 10 Things You Must Know

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

What Women Like

Last week I wrote a post on what qualities women want in their men. The post covered everything from independence to dripping sex appeal.

But what if you’ve already got most of those qualities?

What if you’re a man who has a lot to offer, and you want to know how to keep a girl happy?

Or what if you already have a girl and want to know how to keep her excited and fulfilled?

Think of this as the corollary to my previous post. This is an article on what women like. It will cover the things that keep girls happy and wanting to either keep coming back into your life, or wanting to continue to be with you if you’re already in some kind of relationship with them.

Let’s get to it.

The Wrapping and the Present

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

wrapping vs. presentsOver the past month, 340Breeze, one of our members and commenters here, has made a couple of insightful comments and asked a few thoughtful questions about a subject that can be fairly boiled down to "the wrapping and the present".

His first comment was in the article on specialness (comment here).

And his second was in the piece on reversing poor precedent (comment here).

The first comment discussed his experiences meeting women who seemed outwardly impressive at first, but lacking in substance after he got to know them; in the second comment, he asked whether it was better for a woman interested in capturing a good man to focus more on playing coy and drawing things out with men (what I'd term "game" and "fundamentals", or style), or on becoming such all-around awesome people that they were simply naturally already in very high demand (who you really are as a person, friend, and mate - your substance).

In fact, this dichotomy - of fundamentals and game vs. who you are, style vs. substance, or the wrapping vs. the present - is one that underlies all of social dynamics, whether mating and dating, or choosing whom you want to be friends with, or hiring employees, bringing on consultants, or selecting the company you want to go work for.

The key here, and what everyone's trying to do, is to avoid being suckered by nice wrapping that isn't backed up by an equally impressive present underneath... but also not miss the great presents hiding under crummy wrapping paper.

Yet, that isn't so easy to do.

The Sexual Marketplace: A Primer

Drexel Scott's picture

By: Drexel Scott

Much like Alek's article on the Secret Society, this will be a theoretical entry, meant to improve your understanding of large-scale gender dynamics.

Let’s begin with a definition:

The Sexual Market Place, or SMP, is the invisible battlefield on which intrasexual competition is constantly waged, in order for every individual to maximize the chances of passing their genes onto the next generation successfully.

The Sexual Marketplace

Both men and women are in constant war with the other members of their respective sexes in order to fulfill their genetic prerogatives, which are to survive and replicate. This underlying warfare drives nearly all of human competition and progress in the world.

For both genders, there are only two ways to improve one's standing in the Sexual Marketplace:

  1. Raise your own Sexual Market Value (SMV)

  1. Lower the SMV of competitors

And that's literally all there is to it. For the remainder of this article, I'm going to point out common ways that each gender utilizes each option, highlighting certain social norms and forms of intrasexual aggression meant to facilitate those ends.

Let's start with the men.