Fundamentals

One of the hardest things for me to do when I first started out teaching myself how to seduce women was to give orders and command women.

"You mean, I'm supposed to just tell girls to do stuff, and then they're going to, like... do it?" I thought.

Impossible!

And yet, as I started meeting men in 2006 who were already getting the kinds of results with women I wanted, I watched in awe as they commanded women to do things... and the women just did it.

So, I started playing with that myself.

I began with women I knew well. Then women I'd been talking to for a while.

Then I started pushing the limits on my newfound ability to command women.

I started doing it with women I'd just started talking to. With women I'd just met. I even started giving commands to women as the very first thing I said to them.

And it just kept working.

As I went, I learned how to command women better and better, in ways that they instantly followed - voice tone techniques, specific ways of wording a command, and a lot more - that made it easier and easier to pull off seemingly ridiculous things with women I hardly knew. This post is about how to do what I learned to do when it comes to commanding women.

In the vein of my last post - 15 lessons on getting girls - this post is focused on short, simple tips you can learn from and implement right away to make you better able to sleep with girls you like.

If you've been at actively meeting new women for a while, you're probably already familiar with or doing some of these... but even if so, I'm guessing there're a few new tidbits in here for you that you haven't heard elsewhere before.

And if you're new to meeting, approaching, and seducing new women, then this post is going to be great for getting you out of the starting gate... with a bang.

Without further ado...

Commenting on the post on building social status, a reader asks the following about how to be a warm person:

“Hi Chase, great site, great article. Could you discuss more about warmth? You discuss it quite often, but you could dive into this topic more in-depth? It's a powerful tool to use in all aspects of life, so your breakdown of this would be much appreciated!

Thanks”

Happy to oblige, Anonymous.

Back in 2001, a young female customer walked back into the tire store where I worked as a technician and salesman to complete a transaction she'd begun the day before with me. I wasn't there, so another salesman helped her. "That guy who helped me yesterday was nice," she told him, referring to me, "but I felt like he had bad intentions."

When this salesman told me she'd said this, I was surprised; I knew I'd adopted an edge over the past few years - it had been designed specifically to make sure no one would want to fight me, since I was always alone and frequently in dangerous situations. But I didn't think it was actually scaring off women.

I went to work trying to change it, but even a year later, friends on my college dorm room floor told me, "The girls on the 7th floor said, 'That kid with the red hair is scary.'"

When I heard this, the first thing I thought was, "All right. I've adjusted my face for men - to be intimidating and frightening - long enough. It's time I adapt myself for women instead."

Within a few years, I was regularly hearing things like the following:

"I only just met Chase, but I felt like we'd been friends for ages."

"It's so great hanging out with you; I feel like I can tell you anything."

"Spending time talking to you makes me feel like I can breathe."

How I figured out how to be a warm person and how I made the switch to that from "scary and intimidating" is what I'll detail in this post.

Apologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on relationships as How to Make Girls Chase is for pick up, and I have some truly outside-the-box thinking in it that I've developed through my own personal relationships and through advising a number of friends and clients on their own, and that I haven't seen or heard anywhere else.

Anyway, I wanted to take a break from all the big project stuff and stop by here with a few of the things I've been working on lately. Today's blog post is a monster, at over 5,000 words, on something called "ego depletion." As you get better with some of the more advanced techniques from this blog and from the programs available here, you're going to start experiencing more and more of this, as one of the downsides to efficient and effective pick up.

If you're familiar with a sales tactic called "hard selling," you know that, even when people know what this is, it still works a lot of the time. You also know from this site that the hard sell can be a useful seduction technique - but that it's not without its drawbacks. And the chief among those drawbacks is ego depletion, and the after-the-fact effect it can lead to: buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is, of course, when you make some headway with a girl - she gives you her phone number, kisses you, fools around with you, or sleeps with you - and then she disappears, never to be seen again, or (sometimes) suddenly acts coldly toward you in social situations. Coldness can also be caused by auto-rejection, but there's one important difference:

• Buyer's remorse is what you get when a girl feels like you made her go too far, whereas
• Auto-rejection is what you get when a girl feels like you didn't take her far enough.

Mildly confused? Great. Confusion's the stage that immediately precedes learning something that will prove, hopefully, rather useful.

So let's talk willpower, decisions, buyer's remorse, auto-rejection, and ego depletion - and let's discuss how you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to forming a relationship with a girl you really like.

Note from Chase: when Ricardus first showed me this piece - an 11,000-word masterpiece he called "The X-Factor in Game" - I was blown away. He's got so much solid, sound, incredible stuff packed in here - I told him he completely outdid himself, and he did. I've broken this piece up into five separate parts - more manageable to read than trying to digest the whole thing in one sitting - and renamed it to "How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor." Hope he won't begrudge me the re-titling.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Some guys just have it… an apparently magical vibe, a charisma and vibrancy; a form of personal magnetism that draws people magically to them… and that makes them irresistibly attractive to women, able to pick up girls seemingly effortlessly and make girlfriends out of the most desirable women around.

The question is… what exactly is this vibe? It seems very hard to define, to nail down or even to emulate… which is why I call it the “X-Factor”.

In fact, it is so hard to quantify in precise terms that women often say about the guys who have it: “I just don’t know what it is about him.” And the French even go so far as calling this vibe the “je-ne-sais-quoi” – in English: the “I don’t know what.”

Let’s see if we can do a little bit better than that!

Read on.

Something you'll notice I don't talk about a great deal on this site is the concept of "value." It's an old seduction community idea I find generally wracked with all kinds of faulty mentalities, leading to misunderstandings of what generate attraction and positive relationships. Still, when approached through the proper lens, I find that the concepts of value and attraction can be used in a way that better your odds and success rates with women.

Why don't I like the old ideas of value? Because, I think, generally speaking, men take completely the wrong approach to value. They try to inflate their value by focusing on all the wrong things - things they think women value (e.g., cars, dinner dates, or even fantastic, bragging-style stories). I've seen plenty of the old-school pick up artist guys who go around telling out-sized stories about how incredible they are, but the only people impressed are low status women - and, of course, those old school pick up artists' devotees.

But you don't learn how to attract women by over-inflating your value. You learn it by showing your value in the right way.

In this excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, I introduce you to the concept of "shown value" - and what the difference is between it, and why it's so important to understand. It just might make the difference between you feeling dejected after a girl walks away from you, as valuable as you think you were coming across - and understanding how to handle a girl rejecting you (hint: it's not really you, it's your game).

Good posture is one of those things it's easy to overlook -- how often do you examine your posture, for instance? But it has a tremendous impact on how others view you -- so much that you might be amazed, in fact.

Our excerpt today is on how to recognize and use good posture, from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams. Posture's a fundamental -- it's something that many men forget to work on when improving themselves with women, but it has large and continuous impacts on your development and success rates with the opposite sex.

If you haven't given much thought to posture before, I'll start you off with an example that'll snap you right into seeing how important having good posture really is...