Fundamentals

Note from Chase: Colt first got in touch with me almost two months ago to tell me he'd gotten a great deal out of reading the blog and the book here and asked if he might contribute something. My response to this was, "Let's see what you've got, kid!" So he sent along the following article. Here it is, with but a few edits, Colt's first post as a "Student of the Game." Below, please let us know if you've enjoyed hearing from a newer guy who's doing well yet still working out a few of the kinks in his approach toward women and if you'd like to see more from Colt in the future.

When I first started actively approaching women, I had a million voices in my head telling me that I couldn’t succeed with women, that I shouldn’t succeed. How could a regular guy like me be able to charm women like Casanova? If every other man in the world had, at best, mediocre success with girls, why would I do any better? I didn’t want to step out of the norm... I didn’t even know how.

Deep down, every man, I believe, wants to be unique. Every man wants to show women why they should choose him and nobody else. But believing that you can succeed can be a hard roadblock; taking the first step isn’t always easy. If you’ve had difficulty with taking the first step, chances are that’s why you are on this site. And if that’s the case, this post is for you.

A couple of years ago, there was a huge debate going on in the Dating Advice Community… should you follow a structure when you go out to meet a girl, or should you just improvise to develop your “natural” abilities to seduce her? In a way, this is like a debate between science and art… between the left brain and the right.

And, this debate has actually been settled decades ago, in a different context… watch this clip from time index 1:00.

“It’s a combination of both. Here is the natural instinct, and here is control. You are to combine the two in harmony. If you have one to the extreme, you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become all of a sudden a mechanical man… no longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both… so therefore it’s not pure naturalness or unnaturalness, the idea is unnatural naturalness, or natural unnaturalness.” – Bruce Lee.

So, let’s have a look at both sides of the coin when it comes to seduction and even to learning new skills in general, and let’s find the best way to marry the two concepts of learned structure and intrinsic ability.

It has often been said that both sexual attraction and romantic love are “value based”… but is that really true and what exactly does that even mean? What do girls look for in a man?

And if it’s true that value and attraction are linked and women are attracted to men based on their value… would it be useful to know what exactly that value constitutes?

Would it help to know how you can increase your value in the dating market place… both in reality and in her perception?

Absolutely. Absolutely it would.

And we're going to go into exactly what it is that women look for in men and value in them, and what you can do to raise yours.

Now, before we get into the meat of how to attract women by being THEIR (the women's) most high-value option, let’s cover some background…

For my first few years actively learning how to get girls, there was one thing I struggled with above all else: how to be attainable. Value I understood; be an attractive, high-value man, and women will want you. Investment was straightforward enough; get people putting in more work, and they'll come to value you more highly.

But how the heck did attainability work? I couldn't get my mind around it. I got the concept logically, but emotionally I was still checked out.

I had no clue how to really be attainable. I couldn't even figure out how to tell if not being attainable enough was my problem... or if I was coming across lower in value, or I needed to get more investment.

The excerpt I chose for today's excerpts post covers some of the ground floor stuff on attainability. This selection is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, and in it, we go into the four essentials you need to know to properly manage your attainability (and keep from sending women into auto-rejection [you're too unattainable] or just friends [you're too attainable]).

I'm listening to Nassim Nicholas Taleb's book Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets on audio right now. It's a good and insightful listen, and a good refresher, though not much different from what you'll already be familiar with if you're well-acquainted with the effects of happenstance on the world around you. Randomness and luck is an important topic when you talk about pick up and how to get lucky; it was the subject of one of the very first posts that ever went up on this blog, all the way back in December 2008: the brief "Randomness and Success," where I talked about another book I was reading at the time and the need for including quantity in your approach to meeting women.

Last night I had a discussion with a business partner of mine about the nature of randomness and its influence on success. "Surely, it isn't all randomness," she said. "Skill has a big part to do with it."

"That's true," I replied, "skill does have a lot to do with it. A lot depends on the time horizon you're looking at, however. If you're looking at how someone performs over the course of a single week, there's going to be a lot more random variation in there compared to how they perform over the course of a month, which will be a lot more random and less skill-based than how they perform over a year, and so on and so forth. The smaller the time horizon, the bigger the part randomness will play."

…and when I say “street-to-bed” in a day pick up, I’m not talking about the red light district either!

When I first started approaching women, that was THE big motivator for me – okay, at the time it wasn’t even about taking them straight back to my bedroom just yet; in fact, if we’d have sex on the third date that would have been fine for me back then.

But, all the beautiful girls I’d see downtown every day had me *wishing* I knew what to say and do to meet them, and to start some form of relationship with them.

Today, first sex on the third date has become a very rare occurrence, and I’ve since learned that given the right circumstances and the right guy, almost all women will have sex on the first date, no problem… so all you need to do is CREATE the right circumstances, and BECOME the right guy.

We’ve talked about this topic on the blog before, and about what it takes to be that sexy man that women want and to create these circumstances to pick up a girl fast - feel free to review these two articles real quick and then come back here.

Back with me?

Great… then let’s talk about how to make that happen RIGHT after you approach a girl in the street during day pick up.

There's no denying it - women love a strong man. Forget the whole "sensitive man" fad that swept through the West... women might say they want a sensitive man, but the sensitive man isn't the one who actually stirs their heartstrings... or their loins, for that matter.

But how do you be a "strong man?" Do you have to be a bodybuilder, or be skeptically squinting your eyes at everyone and everything all the time?

In fact, that's hardly the case. To be a strong man is something entirely different from muscles or a stubbly face (although, those two can certainly help). It's about a lot more than that, as it were.

In this section from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, I detail for you some of the most important elements in coming across with the women (and the men) you meet as a strong man. And they aren't what you might think they are... read ahead.