Social Life | Page 22 | Girls Chase

Social Life

Image: 
social life
Weight: 
-5

Just Friends: A Man's Worst Nightmare

Chase Amante's picture

My girl was over and we were talking earlier about how difficult a time it is for a woman to find a quality guy she likes a lot. She spooled off a quick list of men she'd been on dates with who hadn't made the cut: there was the older doctor who lied about his age, and the guy she went to the movies with who had touched her arm and creeped her out. But the one who stood out the most to me was the one she described as her "good friend."

This was a guy who took her out to walk on the ice over a lake in town that had frozen over. There, the guy professed to her that he would satisfy all her needs. At the moment when he said that, she briefly asked herself, "Huh. Could I have sex with this guy?" Her answer was no, it'd be weird. He was her friend.

And then she said something that really stood out:

"I like him as a friend. We can talk about anything. I'm like his guy friend. And he's like my girlfriend."

Use Caution When Introducing Friends to Girlfriends

Chase Amante's picture

Just made it back to town after three weeks back home. Was great seeing family and friends; got to eat at a lot of good restaurants, hit the desert, and do some snowboarding. Fun trip.

Top priority on returning was seeing my new girl. Wonderful girl, very cute and pretty, dresses very fashionably, very smart, with an insatiable curiosity, educated, good career, very ladylike yet very confident and ambitious. Pretty inexperienced in the way of things; she’d only had one lover before me, and it’d been two years since she’d been with a man at all. She didn’t even like sex, and had some issues with dryness and chafing. I spent the weekend getting her comfortable with intimacy with me, taking her from reserved about it to throwing herself into it over the course of a few days. She spent a great deal of time opening up to me about all sorts of things, and we had a great few days together. At one point she mentioned wanting to give me a child, which is something that, at age 28, I’m becoming more and more interested in pursuing with a really great girl. It was a good weekend.

Yesterday at midday a close friend of mine called to ask if I’d like to grab some lunch with him, and I said sure and that I’d bring my girl along. I’d just helped my pal navigate a bunch of sticky situations with some women in his life, so I knew he was going through a bit of a rough patch, but he’d always been tactful before and I assumed he would be this time as well in front of my girl.

Get Treated Like a Celebrity: Building Equity in Your Nightlife

Chase Amante's picture

This is to be the first of a new series of articles on building equity. This edition is going to focus on how to build equity in your nightlife.

like a celebrity

Social Circle vs. Cold Approach

Chase Amante's picture

I’ve always been a strong proponent of meeting women via cold approach – that is, going and meeting women who are strangers whom you don’t know and who don’t know you – rather than via social circle. Both have their strengths and their weaknesses, but I think overall that the rules of social circle put far greater constraints upon your potential success and mental well-being than do the rules of cold approach.

social circle

To give a quick summary, a man who’s meeting women through social circle is going and hanging out with his friends at parties and bars and nightclubs, talking to the same people night after night, and gradually trying to work his way into success with women in his circle. He’s generally going to be competing for the boyfriend role (see “Telling Women You’re NOT Boyfriend Material”), he’s going to be competing for it with a host of other men, and he’s going to be competing on traditional early boyfriend stuff – trying to act like a girl’s boyfriend before they get together. On the plus side, women here are more accepting of men and less likely to run off quick and be flighty, so it might feel easier.

Learning from Reactions: Developing Social Calibration

Chase Amante's picture

Paying attention to others and measuring and analyzing how they react to you is a dangerous game. It can lead to all sorts of bad things – “analysis paralysis”, too much of a focus on reactions and too little of one on results, and attention-seeking and reaction-grabbing behavior to the extreme.

And yet, monitoring and learning from reactions is an utterly vital habit to get into. Without reaction analysis, most folks are doomed to low levels of social calibration for life.

Responding to Interruptions

Chase Amante's picture

responding to interruptionsA few posts ago, we took a look at dealing with disruptive men – ways to shut down and deal with men who come in and interrupt your interaction with a woman. This post is a little different than that one – this is about how you deal with being interrupted by someone who has something she wants to add to your conversation.

Dealing with Disruptive Men

Chase Amante's picture

You’ve just met a girl, and you like her, and you’re getting to know her, and then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a man you’ve never met before in your life steps up to you and starts talking to you.

“Hey, how do you guys know each other?” he asks.

Or, “Dude, where’d you get that shirt – it looks like something I saw at a yard sale last weekend,” he remarks.

Or, “Hey, buddy – that’s my friend. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Disrupting, interrupting, tooling, AMOG tactics, whatever you want to call it, this can be a real thorn in your side until you figure it out. It’s quite annoying and can be out-and-out frustrating when you lose a girl because some oaf lacking in social finesse decides to offer his opinion on your conversation and manages to throw you off balance, or he distracts you from the girl long enough that she starts feeling excluded and leaves, or gets dragged off by a friend keeping an eye on the interaction.

disruptive men

Email: Not for Important Conversations

Chase Amante's picture

I’ve long avoided email for having important conversations, especially any where I predict there may be even a hint of contention. I couldn’t have told you why before, just that I noticed that email conversations about sensitive topics always tended to go poorly. I’ve even lost a few good people in my life from email debates that got out of hand.

Against my better judgment, I just found myself caught up once again in a back-and-forth email debate with a good friend of mine. And once again, it quickly went from civil to cutthroat in the space of only a few emails.

Faux Pas of the Sociaux Nouveaux

Chase Amante's picture

faux pasSocial calibration is one of the toughest things to learn, because it’s one of those things where if you haven’t yet become aware of a certain aspect of socializing, you may be completely oblivious to mistakes you’re making or people you’re offending or alienating. I want to take a look today at some common mistakes that can get a guy labeled “rude” (or worse) and what he might do about them to correct that.

Labels Good, and Labels Bad

Chase Amante's picture

labels good and badIt’s of great importance in socializing and seduction that you have a solid identity; this is common knowledge among us who travel in these circles. What often isn’t common knowledge is how much of an attraction-killer a bad label can be.

What’s a bad label? It’s anything that stereotypes you, pigeonholes you, or shuffles you away into a woman’s file box for, “Oh, he’s like THAT.”