Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

When a Girl Wants to Stop Seeing You in the Early Relationship

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By: Chase Amante

girl wants to stop seeing youEarly on in a relationship, women may sometimes start to doubt things. If a girl you've been seeing decides to call it quits though, you've got some options.

A reader recently brought up a situation in which a girl he'd recently started dating and sleeping with pulled a 180 and announced she'd rather they just be platonic friends.

Commenting on my article on dealing with LJBFs ("let's just be friends"), he says:

Hi Chase,

Great article!

However, I'm having a difficult time identifying which type of LJBF rejection I received in the current situation I'm in. I recently had sex three times with a coworker. We've known each other for two years but only recently started hanging out because she switched projects and no longer worked closely with me.

I will try to describe the series of events as clearly as possible.

We've hung out 4 times over the span of three weeks. Three times were exclusively at my place (2 of the 3 times we had sex) and the final time we went on a hike. Since we've been hanging out, the girl has been giving me a few signs hinting that she wanted a relationship with me although I never brought it up. First, she told two of her old coworkers that we hooked up. Second, she told me she hadn't had sex all year until we finally hooked up—leading me to believe she's a serial dater. Third, she invited me over to her apartment for breakfast with her sister, her sister's best friend, and the best friend's husband. Since we've only been seeing each other in a sexual capacity for three weeks, I told her I was busy Saturday and could not make the breakfast; however, I suggested that we go on a hike together Sunday which she accepted.

The hike was a lot of fun, she has a cool personality and we were able to talk freely with each other. At one point, we sat at this little cove we discovered and made out. Everything seemed fine. However, on the car ride home, when I suggested that we pick a new show to binge watch together this week, the girl said she thinks it's best that we be platonic friends. I was taken by surprise a little and was driving so I didn't really react to this as well as I would have liked. But the conversation seemed off to me in the first place. I figured we were just having fun and keeping things super casual, so there was no need to have this type of conversation. Her response made me believe it was about the sex we had.

If I had to describe the sex, I would have to say it was mediocre at best. Mostly due to us getting to know each other. I also think this is compounded by the fact that she knew about the great sex I used to have with an ex-girlfriend of mine and probably had very high expectations. In the car she tried to assure me that this was not the case, that she enjoyed the sex but just didn't feel a spark between us—but at the same time I wasn't hanging out with her to date her so why would there be a spark.

Ultimately, this most recent interaction has me confused and left wondering if there is something I can learn from the situation. Any help would be appreciated!

At first this seems a bit puzzling, right?

Because we know that usually, once a girl's slept with you two to four times, she's 'converted'; that is, she now views you and her as being in a sexual relationship.

You aren't dealing with all these doubts and objections any longer.

Read more: How to Convert One-Time Sex into Regular Sex

convert a girlUsually it takes only 2-3 times.

Yet sometimes, even past the point of conversion, you'll continue to have to deal with women who are on the verge of ending this connection they have with you.

So... what gives?

Why do girls want to stop seeing you after they've already gotten together with you?

5 Signs of Interest Women Give that Aren't

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By: Chase Amante

women's signs of interest that aren'tWomen put a lot of signals out there. Yet, there are things women do that men THINK signal interest to them… but nevertheless are distractions.

We've talked a lot about ways women signal their interest in men.

However, as big a problem as missing women's signs of interest is, there's another problem under-discussed in the men's dating advice space: mistaking as signs of interest things that in fact aren't.

What's wrong with mistaking signs of interest? I thought you were supposed to assume attraction anyway, you might say!

Well, that's right, you are.

Nevertheless, if you recall from our discussion of the importance of the similarity of interest, the interest you show a girl should closely match what she feels.

If you show a lot more interest than what she feels, because you incorrectly judged her to be more warmed up than she was, you risk of burning out the courtship before it begins.

To help you not do that, in today's article we'll look at the most common behaviors of women's that men incorrectly think show interest -- so you can recognize these yourself and not get fooled.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dating Second Chances

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By: Chase Amante

dating second chancesIf you want a second chance in dating, you'll have to convince your date to give you one, first… Fortunately, that's often easier to do than you might think.

Who says there's no second chances in dating?

I just coached a guy through a situation where he's encountering a lot of "I'm just not feeling it" and "we just don't have chemistry" objections from women.

Why Girls Play Hard to Get (PLUS How to Get Them)

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By: Chase Amante

girls play hard to getWhen a girl plays hard to get with you, it's actually because of one of three key reasons. She might be shy… she might be curious… or she might want to hook you in more…

You met a girl, you hit it off, and you're certain that she likes you.

All the signals are there, after all.

She smiles when you talk to her. She laughs at your (sometimes unfunny) jokes.

She waits for you. She plays with her hair. She stares deep into your eyes while you talk.

Yet, when you ask her out, she evades. "I can't," she says. "I'm too busy right now."

And you're perplexed! You'd swear this girl likes you. You're sure she does. She's not just some random flirtatious girl.

You've seen her with other guys. She isn't this way with them. There's definitely something there between you. You're definite about it.

However, she keeps being flirtatious with you, but keeps evading your attempts to get together with her.

Why do girls play hard to get?

It's Okay to Sometimes Put a Woman in Her Place

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By: Chase Amante

put her in her placeYou should never put a woman in her place. That would be controlling or misogynistic. Right? Well actually, sometimes it's exactly what she wants.

Ever put a woman in her place, and have her love you for it?

A lot of guys are afraid to do this today. They don't want to be disrespectful. They don't want to come off as sexist. They certainly do not want to seem controlling.

Every woman tests.

This is a thing we simply deal with as men.

Sometimes though, a woman will go into testing overdrive.

She's got a bee in her bonnet (or a bug up her behind) for whatever reason. And now she's just going to nag and needle and critique you.

You'll see this most in relationships. But you'll encounter it occasionally in-field too.

And believe it or not, if you allow yourself to set aside your normally calm demeanor, and firmly put her in her place, much of the time, perhaps to your surprise, women will love you for it.

What Do Your Girlfriend's Friends Say About Her?

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By: Chase Amante

girlfriend's friendsIf your girlfriends' friends are wild, or slutty, or quiet, or toxic, what does that tell you about her? And what can you DO about 'bad influence' friends?

If you've read this site for any length of time, you know I'm a big proponent of stringent screening for women you accept as girlfriends. Most of the major problems men face with their relationships are avoidable with proper screening.

One topic we haven't touched on much however is a girlfriend's (or prospective girlfriend's) circle.

Namely, what do a woman's friends say about her?

And how do her friends affect her... or influence her?

Because, certainly, each of us is his own man. And she's her own woman.

Yet if she surrounds herself with a certain kind of person, you'd be wise to assume it's going to rub off on her (if it hasn't already), or have some other kind of effect on her and you.

Tactics Tuesdays: Compliance Swaps

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By: Chase Amante

compliance swapsI'll agree, but on these terms… That's the gist of a compliance swap: you agree to what she asks of you, but propose something of your own in return.

Sometimes a woman insists on doing something a certain way and there's no good way out of it for you.

Sometimes you have to travel a far distance to meet her, and it's unrealistic to get her to come to you.

Sometimes she's getting pulled along with a group of people and your only shot with her is to tag along, but in so doing you risk looking like a follower.

How can you maintain a modicum of a leadership role and keep her compliance up even as you invest in things yourself?

With a compliance swap!

This neat little tactic gives you the power back in seemingly powerless situations... and can even make the dice roll your way.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Similarity of Interest

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By: Chase Amante

similarity of interestWomen run off when men come on too strong for them. Yet, they lose interest when men come on too weak. You must calibrate to the girl to effectively seduce.

Alek's recent strident indictments of direct game (part 1 | part 2) caused a small uproar on here and generated a flurry of both nodding heads and vociferous disagreements.

The main arguments against Alek's position of "direct game does not work (very well)" seem to be 1.) "well, it works for me", and 2.) what about guys whose methods are primarily direct game, a la Hector Castillo?

I'd like to address both Alek's point that very direct game usually doesn't work as well as more indirect game, plus the fact that sometimes it does work (though not nearly as consistently).

Note that we aren't talking about direct vs. indirect openers here. We're talking about the whole game system a man employs. I'd add that what Alek recommends (as well as what I do), while we tend to call it 'indirect game', is really an indirect-direct fusion that combines elements of both styles, but leans a bit more indirect than direct. I'll spell out more what the difference is between direct and indirect as we go.

In today's article, I'll boil down the answer to those questions above with a simplified framework that anyone can understand. That framework is this:

In a good seduction, what allows you to proceed with the girl is similarity of interest.

The closer your expressed level of interest is to the level of interest she's currently feeling, and the better you pace her interest levels as the seduction progresses, the better able you are to hold her interest and guide the seduction toward a licentious night in bed.

What trips men up on interest levels?

Either showing

  1. too much (i.e., too direct) or
  2. too little (i.e., too indirect)

interest in the girl they're courting.

Girls Who Cling vs. Girls Who Run Away

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By: Chase Amante

clingers vs. runnersSome girls are clingy. Others run away from you. What makes a girl a clinger or a runner, and what can you do to alter their behavior?

Sometimes guys will bed a new girl, then no matter their pre-sex frame, or what they did post-sex, or how they set expectations, the girls react in some odd ways anyway.

If you've ever had a girl you just slept with start acting like you're her Prince Charming and the two of you will doubtless soon go elope, or you've had a girl you had an amazing, incredible time with leave the next morning and never text or call you again, you know what I'm talking about.

In seduction, we train to have an "I am responsible for my results" mentality.

This is a necessary mindset to adopt for any improvement-oriented man. It's how you leave the victim mentality people in the dust.

Yet one of the things that can happen is men end up blaming themselves for results that are totally out of their control.

Clingy girls and elusive ones are a couple of the "things you can't really control."

Seduction School: Escalating Despite Objections

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By: Chase Amante

escalating past women's objectionsWomen will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.