Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Impressing and Amazing Your Girlfriend’s Family

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Growing up, I had two uncles on my mother's side of the family, both of them married to my mother's sisters. These two uncles were on opposite sides of the spectrum when it came to how the family felt about them: one of them was beloved and could do no wrong, while the other was thought of as a rascal.

Never mind the fact that the beloved uncle spent more time playing video games and guitar than he did with his wife and kids, or that the rascal was the consummate family man. Even before these men married into the family, their impressions were set in stone.

What does it take to impress a girlfriend's family? It certainly isn't many of the things you'd think would be it.

girlfriend's family

It isn't your job - that can win you some points, but they're often grudging points.

It isn't how good your conversation is, either.

In fact, it's something very different from what a lot of men seem to think it is.

New GC Authors, and Searching Articles by Author

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Hey fellas,

Quick note on some of our new writers joining the site, plus a better way to search for a specific author's articles.

As I'd hoped the new business model would allow us to do here, we've been able to begin bringing new writers on the team the past few months. The new additions have included Colt, who'd done some writing with GC in the past and is now here on a regular basis, and Peter, a friend of mine who specializes in social circle and kicked off his stint here with a great series on the topic.

How to Prevent Sex Regret from Women You Sleep With

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

regret sexSomething that's been a hot topic on the discussion boards lately has been the subject of buyer's remorse and sex regret, and also more generally women just acting weird after sex happens fast.

As you push the boundaries of what you can achieve with women and seduction, you'll find your time-to-bed reduces rather dramatically, especially once you internalize the concepts of "move faster" and "always be moving forward." What happens as time-to-bed falls, however, is that women's perceptions of you change, and their response to sex with you changes, too.

Whereas had you previously only experienced sleeping with women you'd had prolonged courtships with, and had thus only been sleeping with the women who were most interested in you and with whom you'd already established a deep emotional bond, as you move faster and faster you'll sleep with more and more women who only had a passing interest in you, who didn't develop much of a bond with you, or who even might have slept with you on a whim, but regretted it later.

This introduces a whole lot of variability in the reactions, at least until you get certain things down.

In this article, I'm going to cover why you see everything from sex regret to vanishing women to women trying to regain their celibacy and, hence, sexual power with you after the fact, and how to deal with these various situations to make women feel better, happier, and more comfortable about having shared a wonderful night with you.

Disagreeing with Women, Made Fun and Effective

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", a reader notes:

“Anyways, I've been having problems with something that should be fairly simple for most people, but I fear that it is far more nuanced than it seems: disagreeing with woman. I remember reading an article about addressing women objections, other one about not saying "no", but I can't seem to find one on "How to disagree with women" or "How to show disapproval".

My point is that, as time goes by and your confidence goes up and you become more comfortable leading women, what happens a fair number of times is that she'll do or say something you do not like. And while a "nice guy" would just suppress that thing in his mind and get over it, I do not. But I must be doing something very wrong, because I'm under the impression that every time that I do this, me and the girl end up arguing, or feeling that our connection is somehow weaker, etc.

So, I ask you, is there a "right" way to say/show you *don't* agree with an attitude she had (or any other thing that comes to mind)?”

disagree with a woman

The way you'd hear it from most men, disagreeing with women cannot or should not be done, at least not in a way that's anything remotely close to effective at getting your point across or changing her mind.

You've pretty much got to just bite your tongue and let it slide... unless you really want to get your hindquarters handed to you in tatters.

While I used to subscribe to the old advice of "stay unreactive" - basically, sit there like a lump of coal and do nothing and say nothing, no matter how crazed, incorrect, or offensive she becomes - I'm only a (pseudo-)fan of that these days in certain situations.

These days, I'm a big believer in dealing with disagreeable statements swiftly, the moment they come up. How you disagree with women depends on the situation, though - sometimes it's going to entail direct confrontation, but many times you'll take a far subtler approach.

Either way, if being completely unreactive is out, you're going to need another set of tools to deal with disagreements.

And I've got just the tools you need.

Are Social Grace, Savvy, and Empathy Unmanly?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

social graceA reader with ruffled feathers writes in response to the article "Tell If a Girl Likes You: Are Her Walls Up Or Down?", saying:

“What a bunch of rubbish!

In all of your articles, you always encourage men to act weak. For example, phrases like this: "one part of being good with women is about not flipping the triggers that activate women's walls." What?? So, you think men should avoid trigging women's "walls"? This is utter rubbish!! A strong individual won't give a shit about a woman's walls! Only a weak, very passive and supplicated individual constantly afraid of offending women will look for walls and avoid them at all costs! Your position is inherently weak.

Only weak men are always cognisant of women's walls because they are afraid that her walls will go up and this comes from weakness, his weakness -- he is scared and doesn't have confidence. Women instinctively sense weakness without any training or experience necessary and you don't need me to tell you that women are not attracted to weaknesses. Nervous men (those afraid of triggering walls, the kind of man you encourage in this and other articles) are best left to nervous, fumbling women who have issues, not well-adjusted, confident and attractive women. All this boils down to confidence: if you are not truly confident of yourself, 100%, then you will always achieve less than you could have and this applies of course to more in life than just attracting the opposite sex.

A confident man is attractive and sexy. He knows exactly what he wants. He doesn't worry about girls' walls...or himself, nor does he care when women exhibit walls, he will always get exactly the kind of girl he wants. Looking in from the outside, this achievement will seem effortless and natural.

Girls put their walls up because of themselves, never because of you; if you think you act in a way that repulses them then you are (thinking in a way that is) repulsive to yourself. Get some confidence.”

I have a strong feeling this reader is one of those individuals who runs around the Internet screaming about the need for men to "be alpha" while simultaneously spending the majority of his time alone or with unusually large women, cursing womankind in general for not recognizing his glorious, manly, alpha attractiveness.

But I digress.

I share this comment with you because it poses an interesting question: is it possible to be SO attractive that you can run through life like a bull in a china shop and still land loads of hot women in your bed regardless - or perhaps even BECAUSE of it?

Time Orientation and Suitable Romantic Pairings

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

time orientationI recently had a girl invite me to watch Sex and the City with her. She'd newly discovered the television show after never having really watched it before, and was suddenly addicted.

"Ugh," I said. "No thanks. But knock yourself out."

"Come on, please!" she protested. "It's so much fun!"

"Fun for women," I replied. "Men do not enjoy Sex and the City."

"That's not true!" she said. "It's a great show for men AND women!"

"It's a bunch of women who have no idea what they want doing the same things over and over again, never able to realize they're trapped in a perpetual loop of meaningless emotion–chasing," I responded. "There's little self–discovery, and loads of gossip, which is of course quite interesting to women, but like nails on a chalkboard to men."

She started watching an episode by herself, and soon called out to me, "You're right, I can see why women really like this and men don't!"

But I wanted to think about it some more. Why do women like that show so much, and why don't men? Certainly, there are exceptions – women who think it's trite, and men who think it's wonderful – but they're not the norm.

What I realized was that it's part gossip – women use gossip to stay informed on who's a desirable mate, who's an available mate, and who isn't – which is pretty useless to men but pretty vital to women – but it's also about time orientation... a little thing most people don't think much about, but that has huge implications for their dating lives and relationships.

What's It Take to Attract and Date Younger Women?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In Part I of this series on dating younger women, we addressed some of the bigger questions on the subject: do younger women actually like older men; are older men who date younger women 'dirty'; are younger women dating older men all gold diggers?

younger women

Some of the conclusions we came to include these:

  • Age is nature's proving grounds for male mate quality: a younger male is selected on the merits of his promise and potential; an older male, meanwhile, is selected on the degree of his proven, achieved success

  • There's a huge difference between exceptional older men, and ordinary older men - the former being most or all of fit, healthy, confident, charismatic, high status, and financially well-off; the latter being none or few of these

  • A woman's mating preferences are: top - proven (exceptional) older man; middle - unproven but promising younger man; bottom - unproven and unpromising younger man (creepy guy) and ordinary (unexceptional) older man (dirty old man)

  • Because most older men fall into the "ordinary older men" paradigm (ordinary is the norm, after all), most older men are not especially attractive to younger women, thus the 'dirty old man' wrap that some people are quick to label older men interested in younger women with

  • Most real-life older man / younger woman couples are actually two decent, normal, attractive people happy and comfortable with each other and reasonably proud of each other - not many are the rich guy / gold digger couples modern popular media seems so eager to paint them as

While the previous article was about answering the higher level questions - what's with the pushback in the West against older men dating younger women? Do women find older men attractive or not? Why would a woman choose an older man when she could have a younger one? - in this article, we focus on the how-to.

How to date younger women, that is.

So, grab your walking canes, gentlemen, and let's talk about the mechanics of meeting, dating, sleeping with, and having relationships with younger women when you're an older man (and a little bit about this if you're a younger man, too).

Oh, and if you haven't read it yet, do check out Part I here, as well: "Dating Younger Women: Does It Make You 'Dirty'?"

Onwards, then.

Does Dating Younger Women Make an Older Man "Dirty"?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

younger womenThis is Part I of a 2-part series on dating younger women. In Part I, we'll be focused on social factors that have changed and why there's so much pushback against older men dating younger women in the West. Part II will be our "how-to" - that is, how to date younger women as an older (or younger) man.

There's something of a stigma in the West right now against older men and younger women (while younger men and older women is often considered right as rain - and maybe even ideal!)... younger woman / older man couplings, you'll frequently be told, are a Bad Thing.

But travel the rest of the world, and this stigma is largely nonexistent.

Throughout history, it's been common for older men to select younger women as their brides, across cultures, nearly universally.

It would appear we live in a strange and rather unusual period in history, where sexual norms have been turned upside down and positioned on their heads.

But look a little closer, and you'll see that even in the West - even in the United States, bastion of feminist sentiment right now - steer clear of unattractive women with bones to pick, and you'll quickly find that - at least among pretty younger women - this "stigma" against older men dating younger women is primarily the figment of a small group of the media's imagination.

Let's sweep aside the deliberate confusion of the rabble-rousers and have look at what actually goes on out there in the real world of older men and the younger women they date.

Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

psychic vampireIn yesterday's article on emotional contagion - Part I of this 2-parter on emotional transference - we discussed how the process of transferring emotions from person to person works. Namely, there are two steps:

  1. Empower the other person around you first, then

  2. Emote to the other person who, now empowered, will mirror you

Today's article is about the dark side of emotional contagion - something commonly called "psychic vampirism." That is, it's how some people have learned to use emotional contagion in reverse - rather than transfer energizing emotion to others, building them up and making them feel great, a psychic vampire has learned to use emotional transference to drain emotions the other way - feeding off the emotions of those he comes into contact with, making himself feel better at the expense of his conversation partner's emotional well-being.

Like the vampires of legend, a psychic vampire can "turn" you, too - with enough of your energy drained, you can become an energy drainer yourself, feeding off the positive emotions of others to sustain yourself.

But, just like emotional contagion, this is not some paranormal phenomenon - rather, it's simply down to empowering and emoting, seeing and mirroring.

How Seducers Use Emotional Contagion to Attract

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

emotional contagionA potent but under-discussed phenomenon in the fields of socializing and seduction is that of emotional contagion, the tendency for emotions between two or more people to converge.

Emotional contagion is the foundation of frame control, and is of vital importance too in creating sexual tension and social pressure, in remaining in command of yourself and others in high pressure situations, and in effectively leading women (and men, too).

You might say it's a case of "the person with the most solid and catchable emotions wins."

Todays article is the first of a two-part series on emotional transference, with two articles focused on:

  1. How to transfer your emotions to others, and

  2. How to protect yourself from others' negative emotional transfers

Done right, emotional transfer is an outstanding tool for creating the emotions in women that you want them to feel, and improving their experience, your experience, and the outcome of your interactions.

And while "emotional contagion" and "emotional transference" might sound at first like New Age-y touchy-feely mumbo jumbo, it is in fact hard science, and it all has to do with the fascinating little cells in your brain called "mirror neurons."