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Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Egomania, the Blindness You Were Born Into

Cody Lyans's picture

We are all infected.

The Walking Dead is one of the most popular TV-series in the world right now. It is a show about survivors of a zombie apocalypse and their struggle to stay alive... at least on the surface. However, underneath all the blood and gore is actually a show about egos and the stress we feel when things in life don’t go as planned (as usually is the case). One of the strongest themes underlying the show is growth of egomaniacal characters in their quest to “survive”.

egomania

The show brings up questions that draw a fine line between what it takes to survive and what it means to go too far. The show is just a fiction, but part of its appeal is that it reflects a lot of people’s concerns and struggles with the question of “what is really necessary?” and “what is egomaniacal?”

One of the main concepts of the show is “we are all infected”, which we can translate roughly to: we are all one mistake or slip away from becoming someone else’s nightmare. If we give up, quit, become a burden, choose an easy path to “survival”, we become the problem for the few left who haven’t.

Are we takers? Or do we walk the line?

Well, for those of you who don’t watch the show, don’t worry, I only bring it up because the topic of this article is egomania, and the famous line “we are all infected” is a good starting point for discussing it.

The number one problem beginners and intermediate guys have with seduction is that they believe they are immune to egomania and don’t need to address it. You think you couldn’t possibly be a bad guy and so never consider that it’s quite possible you are.

Beginners complain and whinge and cry about how THEY are special, about how THEY are the exception to every rule, because they are overwhelmed and surprised by the sheer aggressiveness of reality and how HARD it bitch slaps them into taking responsibility onto their shoulders.

Guys will resort to anything to avoid real improvement:

  • Ask a girl they only sort of like to marry them
  • Abandon responsibilities as a decent dad and become a drunk
  • Avoid women entirely and resort to a porn oasis to get by

Our mistakes often aren’t THAT drastic, normally it is a bit of cynicism here, a few nasty edged decisions there, and an indulgence on occasion that screws over someone you don’t know now and then.

You figure, “Hey? What is the harm?” and you get into the habit of sucking, until one day a responsibility is too big, and BAM, you become the bad guy you swore you never would be.

Egomania is a real thing and you START OFF infected.

The Genuine Man, Part 5: How to Not Hate Women

Hector Castillo's picture

Welcome back to the journey! Hope you enjoyed the loving in the last article.

So far, we’ve covered:

  • In Part 1: how to become arrogant and eradicate fear

  • In Part 2: the myth of the heartless player and the risks of arrogance

  • In Part 3: how to cultivate humility and temper arrogance

  • In Part 4: how to love people, learn from them, and take responsibility for others’ feelings

Before we start to develop a healthy love for women, we’re going to identify the venomous thoughts we have about them... because all these things are deep, entrenched obstacles to happy relationships, a stable psyche, and true, breakout, to-the-rooftops-good success.

hate women

Having a Positive Outlook vs. Solving Every Little Detail

Cody Lyans's picture

As men, we often want to solve every little detail when it comes to women, especially when we are feeling cynical (when we don’t try in life). You don’t think you deserve it, you don’t want to hear confirmation that you suck, you just want to stay deaf, dumb, and blind. How can things ever work out unless you hold the MAGIC answers? How can you ever be good enough unless you can prove it? How can you progress at all if you don’t know everything there is to know?

Positive Outlook

You think you are doomed because you don’t know it all, and so you want all the details; you want to have it all figured out ahead of time. But what if I told you, the details will only get you to the fight. What if I told you that the fight you will then enter will suck and hurt, and all your obsessive planning will be minimally useful from this point on. Would you still rush to know it all, knowing it will only get you out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Sometimes we feel so compelled towards our desire for solutions and the truth that we cannot help but feel the allure of being a cynic, at least temporarily. So in this article I am going to explain to you why positivity is more valuable than every little detail about something you can find... and we’ll also discuss why it’s such an important tool to master and practical applications of it in our dating lives.

The Genuine Man, Part 3: The Humble Man

Hector Castillo's picture

Howdy folks,

In Part 1 of this series we covered how one can utilize the virtue of arrogance to kill the weakness within. In Part 2 we experienced the pain of misusing arrogance.

Here in Part 3 we will discuss humility, the sheath that can reign in the sword of arrogance.

Genuine Man

Why Moving On Dislodges the Fixated Man

Alek Rolstad's picture

In this post I will discuss a very simple concept: moving on. This seems so basic and so trivial to many men, but, believe it or not, this is where most rookies and even intermediate players fail.

moving on

In the comment section we often get questions where the obvious answer is “You should have moved on.”

Still though, many expect a more interesting answer, so we try to give them some more feedback that could help them with their issue, and though our suggestion might work, honestly, if I were in their situation I would have simply moved on, and I can with confidence say that many of my colleagues here would have done the same.

Let us quickly explain what is meant by moving on and why the ability to do so is attractive before discussing different scenarios in which moving on is especially useful.

The Genuine Man, Part 2: The Myth of The Heartless Player

Hector Castillo's picture

Howdy kids!

In Part 1 of this series, “The Genuine Man, Part 1: The Arrogant Man”, we explored in great detail the virtuous nature of arrogance. I hope you’ve been applying the lessons diligently! Now let’s examine the fruits of our labor.

Note: this is a cautionary tale.


He Who is Beyond Emotional Weakness

You’ve probably met one of these guys before. Or you’ve at least seen countless variations of him on television shows, in movies, or in books.

This is the guy who really just doesn’t give a fuck.

Genuine Man

The Genuine Man, Part 1: The Arrogant Man

Hector Castillo's picture

When I first read Chase’s article on being a genuine man, “Secrets to Getting Girls: Better than Jerk”, my mind instinctively rebelled against the notion. “I enjoy being the badboy jerk! It’s part of my identity! Anyone who doesn’t like jerks is just a pussy!”

When you are the jerk, you spike attraction ridiculously hard, especially if your competition is a bunch of wimps, and you rarely feel weak. You’re always the strongest man in the room. Or, if you’re not, you’ll take him down. You will inevitably crush all competition with brute arrogant force and win.

Or so I thought.

There Aren’t Enough Girls… Or Are There?

Ethan Fierre's picture

Excuses – we’ve all got ‘em. Some of us more than others.

This article’s for the guy who’s committed himself to turning pretty girls he meets in his day-to-day life into pretty girls he’s sleeping with on a none-too-infrequent basis, yet still finds himself stalling up or not having things happen for one of a small variety of reasons.

There Aren’t Enough Girls

Here are the reasons that we’ll be covering in this post:

  1. There doesn’t seem to be many (or any) girls around.
  1. You are reacting too slowly and letting opportunities slip you by.
  1. You are making up limits for types of approaches and actions you are capable of or that are vaguely “doable” for you personally… regardless of whether they would ACTUALLY work or not.

How to Deal With Your Physical Insecurities

Darius Bright's picture

A few friends and I were sitting at a table, careless fluff talk and barely appropriate jokes going all around, when someone made a joke that had everyone cracking up. Too bad I can’t recall the joke. But the point is that we were having a good time. After all, as most people, I love laughing and smiling (that goofy photo next to my name is there to prove it).

Then one of the friends commented – “Why do you cover your mouth with your hand when you’re laughing?”

“I do? Didn’t even notice it.”

I then got noticeably embarrassed and attempted to change the subject.

In truth, I was actually aware I was doing it and the fact that this friend, I’m sure without any bad intentions, drew attention to it made me both angry and uncomfortable.

Body Image

Here’s the deal: at the time I had properly crooked teeth, something I’d been very insecure about; and covering my mouth with my hand (or any other object I might be holding in my hands) was my way of masking this insecurity. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as nonchalant as I imagined and my friend’s comment made it painfully obvious.

And even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, this seemingly insignificant insecurity was impacting my life in more ways than just trying to hold in a laugh or a smile before I can cover it up with an awkward gesture.

Indeed, in my mind I felt flawed; I imagined how life would be so much better if only I had a beautiful smile – I would instantly become so much more confident and surely all my female classmates would find me incredibly more attractive.

Also, if I saw a woman I liked and then it turned out that she had a great smile, in my mind this would instantly make her “out of my league” because there’s no way any woman with great teeth would find me attractive. Silly, I know.

Is Casual Sex Okay?

Alek Rolstad's picture

Is casual sex morally acceptable? Historically, people have viewed sex as a serious matter that should be restricted. And social conventions have typically told us to withhold sex and control our human lusts.

Most religions therefore consider promiscuity a sin; something immoral that was even punished by death in the Middle Ages. The sanctions for promiscuity have become way lighter since then, and in the modern day West, the sanctions have for the most part become only of a social matter: judging, exclusion, and shame.

Though I’ve covered it in some of my previous articles (like this one or this one), in a nutshell, female sexuality has been restricted in order to create order and avoid chaos. Remember, the majority of males out there compete over the provider role, and therefore are not very sexually attractive to women in comparison to the small minority of lovers – those men whom women find sexually attractive and who provide them sexual satisfaction.