Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesdays: Fielding Women's Counteroffers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

woman standing with hand on hip thinkingWhen you propose a date or anything else, a woman may counteroffer her own suggestion. Should you take it? Or stick to your guns? This 4-part decision tree shows you what to do.

Responding to my article on guys not needing much money to get girls, reader Newyorkboy asks about women having 'resistance to doing' cheap or costless dates.

As an example, he cites this incident posted on SoSuave.net by a user named 'powersize':

Texted a latina girl in IG, after a short convo proposed to meet. She is 7/8 - not a dime for me. Below is our conversation:

Me: Are you free tonight?
Her: Maybe. Where would you like to take me?
Me: There is one hipster pub close to center
Her: I can’t drink alcohol. I prefer somewhere more relax.
Me: Coffee?
Her: No. A restaurant where we don’t have that much noise
Me: I do not go on dinners on the first date
Her: I do. That’s what gentleman should do At least that’s what I am getting used to.
Me: So you define if the guy is a gentleman if he brings to you to a fancy place?
Her: Who says it has to be fancy. I define a gentleman a man who takes his time to take me somewhere. A coffee is something I can do anytime
Me: Too bad. Cause I love coffee meeting that people can do anytime
Her: Enjoy your coffee then

I do consider her as a typical chick who is looking for guy. So no reply from my side.

What do you think?

In light of the abysmal text game on evidence here and the fact that this fellow is messaging girls in Instagram, the girl's reaction is pretty standard. Generous, even, I'd say.

Most of the time when you fail at game, you get a rejection. But sometimes when you fail at game, girls will still offer you a shot as a provider.

That's what happened here.

Of course, if you're going to be a provider, you have to provide. You cannot start talking about your rules of never doing dinner dates or talking up the glory of cheap dates once she's slotted you into the provider role.

So not only did this cat fail at game, he could not fulfill the provider role either -- and he at last received the inevitable rejection.

How could he have done things differently and achieved a different result?

One part of the answer lies in how he deals with fielding women's counteroffers.

Why Do People Think You Need Money to Get Girls?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

need money to get girlsHow much does it cost to live a life that consistently brings you top shelf girls? Not as much as you might expect.

We had a forum thread recently where a member was asking how much money you'd realistically need to sleep with a lot of top shelf, high quality girls.

I assume what he meant was rich girls, successful girls, good-looking girls with lots of options, etc.

He listed out a bunch of things he thought you'd need in order to consistently get girls like this, such as:

  • Dining out costs
  • Gym costs and supplements
  • Transportation costs
  • Downtown apartment costs

... and so on.

I went through and did the math on it for him and came back with a minimum Spartan total of $780/mo to pay for housing, food, transport, and other things to live in a big Western metropolis with no amenities to consistently lay top shelf women.

However, I suggested he probably try to aim for at least $1500/month in income so he wasn't having to go super Spartan.

One forum member came back to note that he agreed with me on everything but what I put for housing; $400/mo (my 'housing on the outskirts of the city' low-end estimate) would only get you the tiniest, seediest room in a big city, he said.

But that's what I'm talking about: I've lived in a $300/mo tiny room (so tiny I had to get rid of most of my belongings before I moved in... coming from a larger apartment I could more easily afford, back when I was gainfully employed) in a house in the bad part of town with a roommate who left little, tiny hairs all over the bathroom every day (I could never figure out where all the hairs were coming from, or why they were there, DAILY. The man had a major shedding problem).

I had to clean up that hairy bathroom every time I had a girl coming over because I didn't want her to puke going in there. The roommate would never clean it up. (the other roommate was cool, but he didn't use that bathroom)

BUT, I also kept that dirty roommate up very late at night listening to the moans and yells of the chicks I brought back home, so I guess it evened out. The walls there were very thin.

I've been the guy picking up top shelf girls to shag in a dingy, tiny room in the bad part of town.

I've had other friends who've been that guy too.

It never ceases to amaze me though at how many guys think you NEED a bunch of money to get a bunch of top quality girls.

Because you don't.

Why Quick Pulls Are NOT for Beginner Seducers

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

man kissing woman against brick wall in barA quick pickup of a girl at a bar can seem like a gift from the sex gods. Finally! An easy lay! Yet if you are not that skilled with women yet, be wary of such “freebies.”

Hey guys. Welcome back.

In my last article, I discussed extended seductions—dragging out the seduction process for increased compliance and sexual tension. I don’t recommend this advanced technique for beginners. It is difficult to pull off, with room for unnecessary mistakes that could ruin everything.

So beginners and even intermediate players should NOT opt for such a strategy. Cases when extended seductions are needed are few, and same night/day lays, rather than dragging it out over multiple dates, will generally increase your odds of success.

However, I’m writing this post because this strategy has a few caveats.

Even though going for the same night/day pulls increases your odds, it is important to mention that this does not mean going for “quick pulls.” Instant pulls or same day/night lays are NOT synonymous with “quick pulls.”

How Women Tame Men, Pt. 1: Approval/Disapproval

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how women tame menAs most men spend time around women, they grow tamer. What causes this effect? The answer is: women themselves… and their leverage of disapproval and approval.

If you look out across the broad range of men, you will discover men of all stripes:

  • Big men and little men
  • Rich men and poor men
  • Attractive men and ugly men
  • Stylish men and gauche men
  • Manly men and girly men

... plus everything in between.

There is one thing you will discover that all these types of men have in common, no matter how they outwardly present:

Most of them, regardless the individual traits of their class, have been tamed by women.

The male sex is a sex particularly susceptible to taming.

A woman is never really tamed. She can be corralled, busied with tasks to accomplish, and made devoted to a man she feels she needs, but she is never tamed.

The female sex is the sex that does the taming.

The male sex is the sex that's tamed.

Yet, some men -- a rare set of men -- remain untamed in their hearts, minds, and deeds.

Why is it that some men are resistant to the taming of women, while most men, of all varieties, are so easily brought to heel?

Tactics Tuesdays: Winning Over a Girl's Guy Friends

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl's guy friendsSome girls you’ll meet have guy friends with them. How do you deal with these guy friends? Should you ignore them? Get to know them? Follow these 4 tips… then win them over.

As you approach girls, particularly in social venues, you are going to run into girls with guy friends.

Now, you might never approach girls with guys around them, but you should. A lot of girls go out with men they are 'just friends' with.

She might be the guy's wingwoman. She might be his ex-girlfriend (why some men go out with their ex-girlfriends I will never understand). She might be a girl he's crushing on but is deeply friend zoned with and has accepted that she's going to go off with other guys. He might be her dating app date she felt no spark with and now they're both just sort of hanging out to see if either of them can meet someone else.

If you're in a gay-friendly venue you will run into girls who are there with their gay male friend. I have picked up girls that looked like they were with a boyfriend at first, only to find out the guy was gay, and busy looking for his own guy to pick up at the same time the girl was.

Some guys will leave you alone as soon as you are talking to the girl.

But sometimes you will need to interact with them.

What's the right way to talk with a guy who is with a girl you want, who is not interrupting you or cockblocking you, but whose approval you are usually going to need?

What Causes 'Bad Vibes' from People?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

bad vibes causeWhy do some people give out “bad vibes”? What is it they’re doing… why do people react that way… and is there anything you can do to make the bad vibes go?

Commenting on my article "12 Mistakes that SCREW UP Conversations & Flirtations", yseult says:

Love your explanation on bad vibes.

Could you give a more in depth explanation of what drives vibes, where does it stem from?

Not necessarily the practical side of it but mostly an in depth view of how your inner world and beliefs shape your vibe.

I have a history of giving off bad vibes and I'm glad to say I've shaved most of it off.

Nevertheless, I doubt I understand what I was doign wrong from an intellectual level.

I think bad vibes is one of the things most newer guys have trouble with yet fail to spot it.

The way I spotted it was simply asking close friends direct, brutal honest opinions about the impression I give off. It sucked hearing it but man, Im glad they didn't spare my feelings.Im a much better man for it now.

Once upon a time, another lifetime ago, I used to exude some pretty unsettling vibes myself.

Women who met me said I was "scary" or that they thought I had "bad intentions".

Men who knew me told me outright they'd never mess with me because they thought I'd "go psycho" on them or that, like the girls said, I was "scary."

I was often taken aside to be searched by airport security (most people I knew never were; it must've happened to me half a dozen times in a few dozen flights).

I was even stopped by police walking down the sidewalk in nice neighborhoods because they were looking for a "suspicious person" and I matched the description. I don't know many men with skin my shade that's happened to.

In large part this was by design; I had decided to become a scary, intimidating man. I succeeded.

At some point though I realized terrifying other people wasn't so well aligned with my life goals anymore, at which point I had to undo the whole 'bad vibes' thing I'd so carefully put together, and construct a different kind of vibe altogether.

A few years later my vibe was so different that when I'd tell women about how people used to react to me in my bad vibes day they'd laugh and tell me they did not believe me.

I like that I went through that bad vibes period, because I know how to turn it on and be seriously, seriously scary to people now if I want to. At the same time, learning to get over that also taught me how to come across in a tranquil, charming, welcoming, seductive way, and turn that on more or less at will too. I have to be in a pretty bad place mentally to not be able to do that now (and if I'm in that bad a place, I probably ought to be worried about resolving whatever the issue is, rather than charming people).

This article will be about those bad vibes: what causes them, plus how to make them go away.

Extended Seductions: More Tricks to Make These Great

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

extended seductionMore tips to make it easier to extend a seduction across weeks or more. How do you wind her up? How do you avoid her cooling off? When DO you make that move?

Hey guys.

Previously, I discussed extended seduction concepts, like creating anti-logistics. This is crucial because extended seductions are quite risky: she may lose interest if she fails to perceive you as a lover if you don’t escalate to sex when you have the chance to do so logistically, and she is ready for it. She will think you are a wimp and afraid to be sexual and may not see you as a sexual guy. Welcome to the friend zone.

To avoid this, I suggested you use anti-logistics: deliberately creating a setting where you both cannot have sex. This gives you plausible deniability for not escalating to sex: it isn’t her fault or your fault that you are not escalating. It is not because you are a wimp, but because the situation doesn’t allow for it.

The result? You generate more sexual tension. She wants you, but you become forbidden fruit due to the logistics. You are “teasing” her desire which will grow over time. This strategy only works if she is sexually interested in you.

With this strategy, you extend the seduction on your terms, not hers. It’s because you want it or made it that way due to your strategic choice. (See my post about whether you should seal the deal now or later, posted not long ago.) This is not how most men do extended seductions: they do them on her terms because she resisted their attempt at escalation, or she induced this odd feeling of fear, making men play overly safe. What happens here? They create more risk by opting for an extended seduction.

Friend zoning usually occurs because of failed extended seductions. Beginners often go for extended seductions, but these are more advanced than quick pulls. They usually opt for them to play it safe: wrong move.

Extended seductions are more difficult, and more suited for advanced players.

Before I begin, I need to repeat that the concept of extended seduction was invented (or at least popularized) by a veteran seducer named Pureevil. He inspired the system I am about to discuss, and all credit goes to him. If you are curious about his material, check out this thread by veteran seducer Skills on our forum SkilledSeducer. He’s reposted Pureevil’s classic posts on the subject.

Now that the recap is out of the way, I would like to expand upon my previous post. I’ll go over a few more tips and tricks to make extended seductions more successful.

What to Do When a Girl Starts Qualifying Herself

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl qualifying herselfA girl starts to qualify herself to you. What do you do? There are many mistakes guys make when women do this – you won’t want to make those. You WILL want to reward her.

Something I have seen a lot of beginner guys and even many intermediates get wrong is handling things when a girl starts to qualify herself.

There are many ways women will qualify themselves, but one of the ways a woman might do it is to excitedly tell you about an interest or quality of hers she thinks might interest you.

For example, she finds out that you travel and she starts talking about how she really loves travel, then spools off a list of places she's been to. Or she tells you she hasn't traveled much but she thinks travel is so interesting and tells you some place she really wants to go to.

A lot of beginners will treat this like "okay, she is trying to build commonalities with me; I should vibe with her on that."

There is some element of that in there, but what she is really doing here is qualifying herself.

And when a woman qualifies herself, you have to reward.

Pleasant People Get Pleasant Treatment

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pleasant peopleWant the people around you to treat you better? Here’s a very simple solution for that: treat THEM better, first. Pleasant people get pleasant treatment.

I have observed over the past decade an explosion in argumentative, disagreeable, rude people.

There are people who are simply hot-tempered and combative by nature. That's not what I'm referring to here.

I am referring to an overall rise in ill-mannered, self-centered, socially stunted behavior. It is not just in young people, but in all people. I assume it is due to people spending more and more time on screens, plus the increasing divisions of society, in part due to those screens, and less and less time honing and practicing their social skills with real people.

At the same time that people behave bristly toward those they interact with, they complain about the bristled treatment they receive from others.

Today I want to address this trend, and throw a recommendation in there for you:

Be more pleasant.

Extended Seductions: Seducing a Woman Over Weeks (or Longer)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

extended seductionSex can happen fast. Yet if you prefer to draw things out, to heighten anticipation, and enjoy the seduction more, you can – so long as you’re the one in control.

Hey guys. In my two previous posts, I discussed whether you should seal the deal now or wait for later, opting for an “extended seduction.”

In the first post, I discussed if you should get her number rather than go for the kill right there. My conclusion is that it is always best to go for the pull if logistics allow. It’s a call beginners and advanced guys alike have to make often.

In the second post, I went over whether you should escalate to sex or opt for another date. This decision is trickier and is best made by advanced guys since the pitfalls of missing an escalation window when she is ready (an opportunity to escalate to sex) may ruin a future chance of having sex with her.

There will always be a higher probability of sealing the deal when going for the instant close. Overall, it is the better strategy. Generally, it is a better call, although going for the extended seduction is favorable in some situations.

The issue is that knowing when those situations occur can be hard to discern and, if misjudged, could cost you the interaction. It’s why I suggest that beginners do not opt for the “extended seduction” strategy.

I’ll be re-emphasizing this today. As you will see, it may seem easy to pull off an extended seduction, but in practice, it is tricky.

  • The longer the seduction, the more material and knowledge you need to keep her excited and hooked.

  • The longer the seduction, the more opportunities to make mistakes. It’s not an ideal strategy for beginners who may be prone to errors. Intermediate guys may make fewer mistakes; however, the longer the interaction goes, the higher the chance they get nervous and impatient, thus the higher the chance of miscalibrating and making mistakes.

  • The more time passes, the higher the chance of wildcards occurring. Factors you did not anticipate often come up and can potentially ruin the seduction. For example, she may get sick between dates, run into an ex, or something stressful comes up at work. Anything can happen. It requires good wildcard management and a great overall game to survive the damage the wildcard causes. (Note that I wrote an important piece on wildcards a while back.)

So you can see why an extended seduction is not easy. I will try to make it easier by providing hints and tips to make it work.

This post is my take on Pureevil’s original concept behind extended seductions. In my opinion, he was the founding father of extended seduction, and most techniques here should be credited to him. Pureevil was a top-tier seducer who had the guts to write posts on this subject when the trend was fast pulls. (A trend I was part of; I was very involved in that school of thought.)

Check out Pureevil’s original posts reposted by veteran seducer Skills.

First, let’s discuss why you would consider going for extended seductions.