Barriers in seduction get the other party helping to move things along. Soft barriers are a special variety: they’re easy to pass to raise her investment.A couple years ago we discussed the powerful tactic of barriers in detail.
Some seductions aim squarely at consummation. Yet many have limited goals: to socialize, to flirt, to practice. Why does this difference in seductive intent exist?Many moons ago, I noticed a rather curious phenomenon:
I’m a better seducer with girls I’m strongly attracted to.
When I’m really, really into a girl, I:
Assert a much stronger presence
Am much more present & engaged
Behave in more attractive ways
Game at a higher, sharper level
Persist more, and more confidently
I’ve always spent a lot of time observing myself, looking for things I do naturally when I am ‘on’, then seeking to replicate them consciously when I am ‘off’. To a certain extent you very much can… but only to that extent. Beyond it, you simply have to be ‘on’.
I didn’t know if this was just me, but once I started digging into the science on dating and attraction, I found studies that seemed to support it. For instance, some studies on men’s voices find that change the way they speak when speaking to attractive women, and that third party observers rate the voice men use when speaking to attractive women to be a more attractive voice.
(women do this too, raising their voice pitches to people they find more attractive. A higher voice pitch is rated as more feminine and more attractive in women)
Having spent time in this space, I’ve also had many men lament that they perform much better with girls they’re really into – and why can’t they perform that way all the time?
It raises the question: if you perform with peak seductive prowess for women you’re very attracted to, why can’t you perform at peak prowess for women you aren’t? The end goal is the same after all – to achieve sexual intimacy – isn’t it?
Or is it?
Our new book female texting psychology tome “What She Really Means” is out. Decipher her texts… get into her head… and obsess her with your messaging.The Bible on texting girls has just hit shelves.
Coming in at over 500 pages, our own Hector Castillo’s complete guide to texting, What She Really Means, is now available to own.
Some men dedicate themselves to picking up lots of girls. Yet most men never choose this ‘seducer’s path’. Why do some men choose it, while others don’t?I just finished writing an article on two very different ultimate motivations in seduction, based on von Clausewitz’s absolute vs. limited war. I think the distinction (I’m calling them absolute vs. limited seduction for now, though I might change the names when I publish the article) is enlightening.
Anyway, toward the end of the article, I got into some of the typical reasons men give for not approaching women, or for not attempting to really push to close out their seductions.
In the world of seduction, we typically call these ‘excuses’ and tell men they did not approach or did not close things out due to anxiety, fear of rejection, and so on.
And that is true. But in light of the concept of limited seductions, I’m starting to think it’s also not the entire picture.
We have numerous guys in the community who have confessed to years of false starts trying to get going picking up girls but simply not having the motivation to ever really get going. Some guys start after six months or a year. Many guys need a certain kick in the butt – such as a painful breakup – before they dive in.
Some guys disappear and presumably never become seducers.
All these are men who IN a seduction community – commenting on seduction articles, writing on seduction forums. Most men in the world will never get involved with such things.
Why is it so hard for most men to get into pickup? What is different about the men who actually do get into it, and proceed to excel?
Ready to start speaking sexy?
If you haven’t been following along over at GirlsChase.TV, we’ve got three new videos up on speaking with a sexier voice.
They include lessons on:
The basics of vocal fundamentals
Speaking louder and with clarity
Adding depth, resonance, and purr
You may never have worked on voice much, but after THESE lessons you’ll be well on your way to a super smooth, alluring voice.
Two of these are Premium-only, for Premium viewers – but the intro lesson where I give you the overview of what goes into speaking sexily is free even if you aren’t a Premium subscriber.
Here’s a little bit about what you’ll discover in each vocal fundamentals lesson:
A girl is acting disinterested. Or she’s behaving badly. You probably ought to leave. But should you just walk off? Or tell her why you’re bailing?Hey guys. Welcome back.
Today’s post is a strategy clarification. I was chatting on the SkilledSeducer live chat in our forums. A member, Darkknight, pointed out that whenever I break rapport (contact) with a girl, usually as a response to her negative behavior, I rarely call her out on her behavior, nor do I let her know that I am leaving.
I just walk away without saying a word.
I posted about this subject not long ago: Confrontative Frame Control: When & When Not to Use.
Unlike me, he pointed out that Chase prefers the “eject and explain” strategy. It is similar to mine, by breaking rapport as a response to her bad behavior. However, as you eject and explain, you tell her why you are breaking rapport with her.
This is different from the strategy I advocate, as I say nothing and simply leave. I don’t tell her I am leaving, nor why I am doing it.
So, which strategy is better?
If you are asking yourself this, you are likely asking the wrong question.
Why? Because this question stems from a misconception.
I asked Chase for his take to ensure we were on the same boat, and we agreed. Is the choice between breaking rapport without saying a word and breaking rapport with justification (eject and explain) only a matter of personal style and preference?
Yes, to some extent. Chase and I agree they are two different techniques with different pros and cons and are suited for different settings, depending on the situation.
Which technique you decide on depends on strategic and contextual calibration, as they are different techniques for different settings, and achieve different purposes.
Remember to:
Calibrate to the context
Use the right technique at the right time
Foreplay often involves just the hands or mouth. But that’s no fun, especially with a resistant girl. Use THESE radical tactics to get your penis involved.When most men think of foreplay, they think of:
Using their hands on a woman’s body
Using their mouth on a woman’s body
Getting a woman to use her hands on them
Getting a woman to use her mouth on them
They might be touching her pussy with their mouth or hands. But NOT their penis.
That’s not foreplay. That’s the main event. Right?
SHE might be touching their penis with her mouth or hands. But NOT her pussy.
Again, that’s not foreplay. It’s the main thing. Right?
Yet, in fact, there are numerous ways you can engage in foreplay where you actively use your penis on a woman – not waiting for her to suck you off or stroke you – including on her pussy, without getting to vaginal penetration, before sex starts.
Today I’m going to introduce you to some. If you’ve never done these before, they might just change the sexual escalation game for you.
An untamed heart is pivotal to true freedom. The untamed heart resists yielding to the ownership of others. Instead it forges ahead toward its own aims.In our previous installments in the “How Women Tame Men” series, we talked about different aspects of how women tame the men they’re with romantically, as well as man around them socially:
In Part 1, we discussed the use of approval and disapproval as key to the taming process
In Part 2, we talked about what makes a man ‘tameworthy’ (in the eyes of a woman)
In Part 3, I show you how to resist romantic taming, so you could maintain a free and attractive persona even within a committed relationship
In this, the final installment of the series, we look at having an untamed heart – at, in other words, being a man incapable of being saddled by anyone else, woman or otherwise; at least not forever.
Sometimes guys get girls horny… then DON’T sleep with them. When you ditch a girl you’ve aroused though, either she’ll be frustrated – or she’ll get with someone else.I’ve made this point again and again over the years, but I think it bears repeating as many times as possible.
If you’re going to get a girl all horny then NOT sleep with her, some other guy WILL.
A guy on Reddit posts the following tale:
So I've gotten to know this one girl from my school in the last couple of months. She has always seemed interested in me, but no one had really ever made a big move. Last week we were at a party and things went really well. We ended up dancing and kissing for the better part of the night, and were just about to sleep together but couldn't find an empty room. We ended up talking on a sofa for some time before she went to sleep... or so she told me.
After this event she has been quite cold and distant, not at all showing signs of attraction or interest anymore. A friend of hers also later told me that she had slept with another guy later that night after we couldn't find an empty room.
This hurt quite a bit. By no means do I expect any exclusivity, we have just gotten to know each other, but after complimenting me all night and having so much fun together, to just immediately throw it away and sleep with someone else... I truly felt like she, just as myself, was really enjoying our time together.
What are your thoughts on this? Would you give her a chance, should she show signs of interest later on? Am I overreacting and letting my emotions get the best of me, or would you consider it disrespectful and not deal with that type of behavior?
Cheers!
This kind of thing is actually pretty common: if a girl is horny enough, if one guy spikes her buying temperature enough, but the first guy does not close, another guy with better instincts will step up to be “that guy” and give the girl what she needs.
It’s common enough that in seduction, once you’re relatively decent at picking up girls, you learn to put feelers out toward the end of the night for these poor girls who’ve had their buying temperatures spiked by other men, who were then ditched by the guy.
Usually the guy doesn’t think of it as “ditching.” He may sort of know he’s giving up a lay, but he’s hopeful he can just “come back to it later.” Kind of like saving your save game, right? Just hit “save” on the girl, walk away, then try again later once you’ve had a chance to think about how to beat the final boss.
Girls aren’t computer games, though. They are flesh-and-blood humans with wants and drives all their own. Most of the time they are not going to wait for you to figure out what to do.
If you get a girl all hot and bothered then CAN’T close, you should EXPECT that some other man WILL.
How many people does the average American date? And where do they meet their dates? Our dating statistics survey contains the answers – and more.It can be difficult to find good data on dating habits. To make this easier, we’ve created a handy reference that compiles all the most up-to-date dating statistics right in one place.
In this report, you’ll find the data for Girls Chase’s Annual Dating Statistics Survey, where we ask 2500 American men and women ages 18 and up to tell us about their dating histories and romantic statistics.
You’ll also find a compilation of other studies and polls from around the web with useful dating statistics and figures.
