Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

2016: The Year in Review and a Look Ahead

new year 2017
A review of the best Girls Chase articles of 2016. Plus, a look ahead to what’s in store for 2017.

Another year come and gone, and it’s time once more for a reflection on what the past year’s brought. As with prior years (2013, 2014, 2015), I’ve sat down to present our best articles of the year, based on both comment counts and my opinion.

In 2016, we posted 229 new articles, or about 4.5 a week. This year we premiered a new, sleeker site design, and moved to a new, faster server. And I’ve devoted a lot of time this year to writing, planning, filming, and editing my new upcoming master class – which I’ll reveal more about in this post.

This year we enjoyed:

  • Darius Belejevas’s 4 essays on all things fashion-related
  • Drexel Scott’s 6 videos and essays on kissing, rescheduling, and picking up sober
  • William Gupta’s 6 musings on getting laid and harmful mindsets
  • Varoon Rajah’s 7 podcasts and pieces interviewing experts and reviewing books
  • Daniel Adebayo’s 8 pieces on day game and sexual reframes
  • Hector Castillo’s 15 tutorials on being blunt with girls and having them love it
  • Denton Fisher’s 18 articles on picking up and seducing girls
  • Alek Rolstad’s 30 articles on logistics, dry spells, momentum, and more
  • And 116 articles from me (Chase Amante) on mindsets, pickup, and the female mind

... not to mention three from Francesco Toggianini; two each from Ethan Fierre, Halvor Jannike, Joe Ducard, Cody Lyans, and Davi Diluna; and one apiece from Aron James, David Carreras, Jeff Billings, Jon Anthony, Pablo Garcia, and Big Mike.

(author links above link to each author’s article catalog)

11 Tips for a Magnetic Presence Attractive to Girls

attractive to girls
You can be attractive to girls before you even open your mouth. You do this with presence: the hypnotic, mesmerizing masculine quality.

Hey guys. Today I will discuss a vital topic, rarely discussed – namely, presence.

Most guys are so focused on what to do in an interaction with women they forget the stuff before the interaction. This forgetfulness is understandable... After all, it is hard to focus on too many things when you are new. The conversation itself seems so immediate it can be hard to focus on anything else. And yet, the phase that precedes the interaction can play a tremendous role.

I will not discuss screening in this post, even though the screening phase is part of this crucial pre-interaction stage. If you are interested in screen and approach-invitation triggering, do not worry, there are more than enough posts covering the subject:

What we will focus on here is how one can be attractive from a distance – without even opening your mouth – before even approaching a girl. And even though we kind of touched upon that in my previous article, let’s dig a bit further into actual tips and tricks you can apply today. However, my previous post does serve as a great foundation for this one (so if you have not read it, check it out: “Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid Easier”).

Let us start with a fundamental topic before we get into the juicy stuff.

4 Things Men Do that Sabotage Their Dating Lives

sabotage dating lives
Men sabotage their own dating lives all the time. 4 of the biggest saboteurs: kissing and telling, pleading, wrong sex talk, and moralizing.

When you go out to meet girls, you may unconsciously be sabotaging your chances without even knowing it. Men do it all the time.

Truth is, you can have fantastic looks and be able to get the ladies insanely worked up, but there are some simple things that can negate even the best game – things you can fix with a little effort and rewiring.

In my first article for Girls Chase, I’d like to share a primer... on the biggest obstacles I see guys toss into their own paths.

Tactics Tuesdays: 7 Rules to Help Guys Touch Girls Right

touch girls
Touching girls can seem scary when you’re inexperienced with women. But even experienced guys get touch wrong. With these 7 rules, you’ll get touch right.

Do you get touchier with a girl in the club?

Do you have to kiss her to get to the next club?

Is “more the merrier” true when it comes to physical escalation?

These are some of the most common questions of beginners, and probably the biggest misconceptions from intermediates. Everyone is under the impression that the more physical you get, the more likely a girl is to go home with you.

Yet, get physical at the wrong time, and your touch may have the opposite of the desired effect.

Is physicality sinking your chances at sealing the deal?

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. II: Relationships

hard target relationships
A hard relationship target: the guy who isn’t a pushover in his relationships. Rebounders, damsels in distress, and gold diggers beware.

Last week, I kicked off the ‘hard target’ series with a look at the commonest swindlers you’ll meet when dating. I talked about how to recognize them, what their motives are, and how to counter them. You can read Part I of the hard target series here: How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating.

If you’re just tuning in, a ‘hard target’ is someone who’s not an easy mark for a schemer, predator, two-timer, or manipulator. When a two-timer crosses paths with a hard target, she’ll have a hard time getting anywhere with him. She’ll realize she probably can’t pull one over on him, and either stop trying, or move on to find an easier target.

Being able to recognize those who would use you in ways that don’t benefit you is vital. These individuals will run slipshod on your life if you let them. They often weasel their ways in with charm and ersatz affection, or by causing you to doubt your own intuitions.

In today’s installment of the hard target series, we’ll talk relationships. Namely, how to recognize girls inclined to use you in ways you won’t like. And, how to avoid being used.

As always, my advice if you realize you’re with a girl who’s bad news is “drop her”... However, I realize that’s easier said than done. Once your life is entwined with hers, it can be hard to let go. So, read on, and hopefully we can prevent you getting too deep with a bad news girl before it’s too late... Or give you a few firefighting tactics to limit your exposure to her if it already is.

How to Pick Up Girls on Christmas

pick up girls christmas
It’s Christmastime. But what if you’re alone? In that case, it’s also a prime time to find a new girl to cozy up to for the holidays.

It’s Yuletide. Christmastime.

Christmastime is also the time of the Wild Hunt, an ancient European tradition that predates the birth of Christ. And if you’re single and not otherwise with family this year, Christmas is the perfect time for a wild hunt of your own.

Last year, Alek wrote a piece on why winter is a tougher time to meet girls. It’s a great piece, and it’s a phenomenon I’ve seen with plenty of guys. Most guys are a lot more motivated to go out during summer... a motivation that all but dries up during winter. There are fewer women out during the winter, it’s colder, and many people settle into seasonal relationships (which they may or may not abandon when spring returns). Seasonal affective disorder kicks in. Lots of people just get, well, depressed during wintertime.

Nevertheless, personally, winter’s always been my very favorite time to meet girls. I love it. And there are some very specific reasons why I love it:

  1. If she’s out, she’s motivated.There’s a certain level of self-selection that comes about during the winter. People go out just to party and have fun and enjoy the good weather when it’s warm out. These people who just want to have fun tend to stay home a lot more as the weather gets worse. For practical purposes, that means any given girl who’s out is a lot more likely to be looking to hook up during winter than summer, and is not out just to party. Her motivation is far more primal, and her drive to brave bad weather and chance an empty venue much stronger than her more contented, less motivated peers.

  2. The vibe is more conversational. Another reason why I love winter is because everyone is in a more subdued mood. No one’s partying hard and getting crazy. That makes it much easier for me to run my preferred approach, with lots of deep dives and chase frames. Girls have less time for conversation when it’s warm out and there’s energy in the air – they just want to party, and their attention spans are shorter. During winter, their attention spans are more focused and they’re more down for a good chat.

  3. She gives you more leeway. A third reason I like winter best of all is the ever-present desire to pair up for winter. If she’s single when it’s cold out, she probably doesn’t want to be single. That makes her more motivated to do things that may lead to her not being single – like giving a man who approaches her more of a shot, and being more willing to take a chance with him. In practical terms, this means you get more leeway with women during the winter. I’ve noticed in general I can screw up with girls much more during the winter (like: slip onto a boring topic, or be a little too aggressive, or not have any time to meet up with her for a first date) and still take them to bed. Whereas if I make the same mistakes when it’s warm outside, a girl’s more likely to get ghost. I’m not sure if this is because of the longer attention span / fewer distractions / less male competition the winter offers, or if it’s because girls are less content being single during winter... I suspect it’s a combination.

That’s just winter in general.

Yet here’s the important part for this post: I have noticed, having gone out on Christmas on several occasions, that on and around Christmas day, it’s like wintertime in general on steroids.

For this reason, Christmas, in my opinion, is one of the best times of the year to find a new girl... and unwrap her present.

What Do You Do If You're Caught Lying

caught lying
Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.

“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.

“Oh? Which friend is that?”

“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”

“Okay, when are you going to see him?”

I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.

Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).

My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.

Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?

I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.

A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.

In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.

Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.

The Spontaneous Bounce, Conversation Control, and Seductive Flexibility

flexible seducer
Sometimes it’s going great with a girl – and then it all goes sideways. To have any shot at saving things, you need one quality: flexibility.

We already know how important it is to be smooth.

The ideal master seducer – a man who can walk into a room, pick out a woman, and consistently take her to bed – must be smooth. Now, there are several things we can do to elevate our game to bring us closer and closer to that ideal. We work on our fundamentals, we develop our conversational skills, we handle the logistics. And with time and elbow grease, our interactions start becoming smoother with women and more efficient in our dating.

However, even as we become better with girls, we can still have interactions that go sideways. Something happens that takes us by surprise, disrupts the flow, and makes you think it must be ‘game over’. I’m sure you’ve had moments like these, and experiencing that crushing feeling of:

 “I had her... we were so close... but things just went wrong.”

Thus, the topic of today’s article – a characteristic we want to develop alongside smoothness. This characteristic is a key element of truly stellar frame control. That characteristic is flexibility.

And to help you add a dose of flexibility to your seductions, and give you a pair of wonderful firefighting techniques for those scenarios where things go sideways, today I want to discuss the spontaneous bounce, and conversational control.

Tactics Tuesdays: Provisional Commitment as a Dating Tactic

provisional commitment
How do you get a girl who’s resisting you to comply with your request? Provisional commitment: “I’ll give you X if condition Y.”

In Donald Trump’s master class on deal making, The Art of the Deal, Trump often mentions his use of provisional commitments as he assembles deals. For example, he may agree to purchase a given piece of real estate, contingent on him getting regulatory approval for what he wants to build there, being able to purchase an extended lease for the property the real estate sits on, etc. That means that if he can get these things, he gets the deal. If he can’t, the deal is off, and he doesn’t lose anything, or loses very little.

You might think this is just something you’d use in business and legal situations. “My client is willing to testify, contingent upon him receiving...” etc.

Yet the provisional commitment has a slew of uses in the romantic and social arenas as well – assuming you’re not afraid to negotiate with the women you’d like to bed.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating

hard target dating
In Part I of the series, we look at the hard target dater: the man who can’t be suckered by friend-seekers, flirts, diggers, or climbers.

In the excellent self-defense book Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term ‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers. If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.

This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?

In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine are:

  1. Dating: when you first meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)

  2. Relationships: once you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with her (next article)

  3. Social Life: non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances, people with connections (third article)

We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.