Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Page 5 | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Don't Ask Women Stupid, Needy Questions

stupid questionsThere are these stupid, clueless, needy questions men ask women. Perhaps you've asked some yourself. Yet these questions are pure sabotage for your seductions.

This is really more for new guys than anyone else.

Though I have still sometimes seen intermediate guys making these mistakes too.

In school, you probably learned "There are no stupid questions."

Well, that might be true in school. However, in dating, it is not. Because when it comes to women, there are absolutely a lot of very stupid questions that you should not ask.

We're not talking about questions like "How old are you?" or "How many guys have you been with?" that various stern women claim men should "never ask a lady!" or that "don't matter!" on various feminist-leaning blogs or news sites around the web. Those questions are actually perfectly fine; I suggest you ask both regularly (the second works better after sex, though).

However, there exists a certain class of question that, when you ask from it, conveys a degree of neediness, uncertainty, and lack of leadership that repels women like oil does water.

These questions are the ones we can, for our purposes, safely dub stupid questions.

Don't Tell Me You're Done Already

done alreadyAfter you gave it your all in a long interaction with a girl, you might be tired out. Yet she might want things to keep going, and be disappointed if they don't. What do you do?

Remember that one guy back in high school who always finished tasks before you? He got a kick out of beating everyone else to the punch, and you were left feeling inadequate because you didn’t do them as well?

In life, this happens all the time.

Here’s someone doing something you’ve never heard of before, doing it perfectly, and there’s another doing something different, also perfectly.

You end up looking at yourself, thinking, “Hey, what the hell, what are you doing right now, eating some chips, come on!”

So it is only natural when you look around a club or the street, and you see everything happening that you haven’t done before, and you get that same feeling.

You have to learn to relax that anxiety and start to look at the situation differently if you want to progress.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Respond to LJBFs

let's just be friendsSometimes you make a move on a girl and she hits you with "let's just be friends." Yet just because you got one LJBF doesn't mean you're out of the running…

You make a move on a girl or ask her out.

She looks you firm in the eyes, aaaaand... "I thought we could just be friends!" she tells you.

Just like that, the wind has sucked all the way out of your sails.

I guess you have to just be friends with her now.

...

...

...

I'm kidding. What point is there to that?

You're talking to her because you want her. Either to date her or to have a fun roll in the hay with her.

When she puts the "let's just be friends" (LJBF) frame on you, you're faced with several options... but not all these options are created equal.

5 Wrong Mindsets for Cold Approach Pickup (Plus 3 RIGHT Ones)

pickup mindsets
There are many ways men think about picking up women. Many of these ways are not helpful, though.

Once you're in this long enough, you start to notice a lot of the same mindsets again and again among learners.

Some of these mindsets help the mindset holders succeed with women.

A lot of them do not.

Don't Talk About Pickup to Other People

talk about pickupYou should not talk about game with most people. It might be tempting to (especially when it's a major point of interest of yours)… but mum's the word.

This is a sort of public service announcement, mostly for new guys, but really also for any guy who gets a little 'game obsessed' and starts to spout off about game and girls.

In your day-to-day life, you will have ample opportunity to talk about women.

I suggest that, unless you are on a seduction forum or with a group of men whom you know are very much into game, you don't mention it.

That can be trying at times, especially when seduction is your passion.

However, you really are better off not doing it.

The simple fact is that discussing the art of picking up girls is alienating to 99.97831% of men out there, including many other men who like to pick up girls.

We talk about it here on this site, and if you read here often it might feel like a normal conversation subject, even. Nevertheless, for most people, this is a subject they do not ever talk about, and don't feel comfortable talking about.

So you need some rules around discussing it.

The best rule is, "For most people, don't discuss this subject at all."

A sound corollary to that best rule is, "For those you do discuss it with, tread lightly."

How to Be Attuned to Women and Your Surroundings

be attunedAre you tuned out while out? If you notice a beautiful woman, is it a surprise you were unprepared for? Here's how to tune IN (in 5 simple steps).

In my article on scouting for 'meet girls' spots, a reader named Kevin comments

Hey Chase,

From the articles such as this one where you talk about your observations of other people when you're out on the street, I'm always struck by how aware and tuned-in you are to other people. Myself, for various reasons, I got into the habit of being totally in my head and tuned-out whenever I'm out on the street; I'm also very eye-contact averse, with everybody. I don't look, or I break off immediately. The only exception to those would be when I take very long walks or do day game sessions. And since those feel so much better because I'm really tuned-in, this ability to really absorb your environment and be totally present in it is one I very much want to automate. My question is about your eye-contact. Do you shamelessly observe everybody around you, holding eye-contact with anyone who gives it to you? Do you use the overhead eye-contact tactic from the 'Elite EC' article where you only look at people who look at you? Could you please give me some tips on how to emulate your own tuned-inness to the people around you when out on the streets? Somehow, probably because of social control, I'm really shy about just looking at people and observing them shamelessly!

Many thanks in advance,
Kev

It's a good topic for discussion. Attunement can be a fleeting thing. It's also by no means assured just because, for instance, you went out to approach women.

I observed in that article that the vast majority of people you pass by in life are tuned out. They're lost in their thoughts, thinking about what they need to do that day, absorbed in messages or notifications on their phones -- their heads are anywhere but present.

The attuned man enjoys some distinctive benefits. One is that women notice him much more. Attuned people are in it; they gaze around, their eyes are wider, they're noticeably taking in their environment. Attuned people look for other attuned people, and a woman who's attuned will tend to very quickly notice an attuned man (and you'll notice her). Which women are most likely to be attuned? Those who have a reason to pay attention. Much of the time this means women who are looking to meet someone.

Attuned men are also more risk-aware and better able to present as hard targets to avoid dangerous situations. Very useful if you live in dangerous places (or venture into them from time to time).

There's only one challenge: how do you tune yourself in?

Because for most people, being tuned in is merely a thing that happens to them, on rare occasions, when the mood strikes, or when they chance into the right state.

But that doesn't have to be the case for you.

You can attune yourself directly and consciously, if you know how.

Make It Happen

make it happen
If you want something in life, like a woman to love (or 50 women to love), you're just going to have to figure out how you'll make that happen.

Long before I was a dating coach, I was in a sort of “factotum,” or a state of bouncing through many different jobs. I quit most and was fired from a few. I just didn’t find many jobs rewarding for anything other than paying rent.

At one of these jobs, I was a low-voltage electrician. During the plasma TV boom, every rich person in Vancouver wanted one on their wall. So my job was to install these big, heavy televisions.

I hated it, but the pay was good. It was a hard job that required a lot of problem-solving. How do you get these wires across this house or apartment and into an electronics equipment panel without them being visible? We had to go into the wall, through the attic, or into the crawl space. Then we had to mount these 50-pound beasts (pre-LCD TV) onto these awkward wall brackets.

Some days I’d look at what was involved for an install, and it seemed impossible. I’d want to tear my hair out, quit, and live on welfare. So I’d call my boss and say, “I don’t see how this is possible. It’s too difficult.”

And my boss always gave me the most powerful and vague advice:

“Make it happen, Tony.”

And he’d hang up.

A 5-Step Plan for a Serious Seducer

serious seducer
Serious success requires serious commitment. And if you want to be a runaway success as a seducer, you will need to throw yourself in, in these 5 ways.

When you are looking to improve with women, there are a few things to keep in mind.

If you don’t get them in order, things won’t work the way they should, and you will find yourself stumbling around without knowing what to do.

So today, I‘ll outline what you should be doing to help make it easier. I’ll set out some easy-to-follow steps to organize your progress as you go through your journey.

Tactics Tuesdays: Rewarding and Punishing with Phone Calls

rewarding & punishing with phone callsYou can use phone calls (yes, phone calls!) to reward women for good behavior – like good vibes and happy dates… but don't call when she's been naughty…

Phone calls are totally old school and no one ever uses them anymore. Right?

Well, the truth is men have always avoided phone calls as much as and wherever possible.

Back when texting wasn't all that popular and no one had messenger apps on his phone, guys still didn't like to make phone calls. They're nerve-wracking, higher pressure, and you can't sit and think about what you want to say -- it's all happening in real time.

Yet men who learned to use them then discovered phone calls were an almost magical way to bolster good connections with girls, repair frayed ones, and get out onto dates women who wouldn't otherwise have come.

And believe it or not, in the age of furious thumbs tapping out multitudinous messages, they still do.

On the forums, guys have repeatedly noted they tried calling girls (despite thinking it was out-of-date) and were amazed how well it went. Young women whom nobody ever calls, ever, get calls from guys and the calls go great and they lead to dates and hookups.

But this article isn't about whether to use phone calls or not use phone calls.

Instead, it's for that elite subset of men among you who already use them.

And the focus here is on how to reward with phone calls... or punish with their lack.

Boyfriend Framing: Serious Guy vs. Casual Guy

boyfriend framingJust because you use boyfriend disqualifiers doesn't mean you're totally out of the running as a boyfriend. Many guys still act like boyfriends… yet don't even realize it.

An issue I've noticed guys have over the years is they stumble upon Girls Chase, they read about not coming across as a boyfriend, and then they try to present themselves as 'not boyfriends' without actually changing their vibes.

Typically what they do is they add certain things to their conversations that they've read will push them out of boyfriend contention.

But then they don't actually revise the rest of their conversation to take out boyfriend-y topics and remarks. And they don't change their presentation or delivery style any, so they still seem like boyfriend candidates -- except now they're candidates who also say some slightly un-boyfriend-y things.

So let's talk about things men do (without even realizing it) that make them come across as boyfriend candidates to the women they meet... even while these men think (in error) that they are "coming across like the ultimate lovers."