Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Using Social Proof to Get Laid: A Report (with Demonstrations)

how to use social proof to get laid
Alek demonstrates how to build and use social proof to pick up a girl in a nightclub. See loads of social proof building examples and demonstrations on the way to the pickup.

Hey, guys. I’m finishing this year off with a report that will cover an event that took place last weekend. The idea here is to give you a story that will be entertaining, present some techniques, and give you an example of how they are used in real life.

Here at Girls Chase, we cover a lot of techniques, new ideas, new tricks, and solutions to issues you face in your dating life. However, in some cases, reports can be useful in order to demonstrate:

  • The context in which the techniques are used

  • How many techniques are used over the course of a night, and how they contribute

  • Which techniques fit different situations (how to analyze the situation and decide which techniques to use)

  • Which techniques work well with others

  • How it all comes together in a seduction

This can be a great addition to the actual posts covering the original concepts shared on this website. It helps put things into perspective.

For this occasion, I will be using the following techniques and strategies:

These will be the main concepts applied in this report. Things like opening, escalation, and other basics will of course be applied, too.

I know many of you are fans of my sex talk and were hoping for me to give you one of those reports. I will try to make more of those. The reason I chose this subject is because serious verbal seduction requires you to be able to talk without too much interruption. Where I live, the smoking areas tend to allow for that. Unfortunately, during the winter, it is too cold to do this outside, which means I have to stick to indoor club game, which makes sex talk difficult. I also think variation in the content of my reports is a good thing. Previously, we covered sexual tension; before that, we covered a typical verbal seduction night, and so on. Today we will focus on “social game,” although I will use some sexual gambits!

On the night in question, I was wearing black Chelsea boots (must have), a black sweater, a long necklace, a red bomber jacket with some cool “Chinese dragon” prints, and tight black jeans. With my long hair, I looked like a 70s rockstar.

A bit of background on the night: I was in this venue till 2am, and I left as a result of some drama with one of my girls. I had to let her go, which kinda sucked. In other words, my mood was not great. However, when shit like this happens, the best call is to venue change (go somewhere else). This report takes place in the new venue.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 1: Queen Theory

queen theory
In Part 1 of the harem series, we talk about Queen Theory: how women position themselves as long-term partners and jockey for roles and status.

Having created a constantly evolving harem for the past three years running multi-dating relationships, as well as having dated some of these women for 3+ YEARS in this arrangement, it’s time to share with you a series of articles that covers my experience and lessons learned.

So if you’ve been considering such relationships, or you’ve been experimenting with them but have run into issues, this series is for you. We’ll cover all the facets of dating several women at a time (i.e., any relationship non-monogamous in nature), and we’ll go over what it takes to do so successfully and with minimal drama.

To begin, we will cover the first of three biggest concerns in a woman’s dating life. Those concerns are:

  1. Catching and keeping the top man

  2. Her self-interest

  3. Her reputation

Women use the social and sexual marketplaces to advance their own agenda. Thus all these factors are important.

The way to handle the first concern is to understand all the implications of Queen Theory, which is the focus of this article.

A few months ago, I wound up in a threesome with one of my multiple long-term relationship (mLTR) girlfriends and her girl friend. My girlfriend had an event one Sunday, to which she invited me and two of her girl friends. I met her there and proceeded to grab drinks. Over the course of the event, one of her girl friends took a liking to me, and I took a liking to her.

I cleared my intention with my girlfriend before giving both girls a ride home. But instead of them going home, we ended up at my place. Long story short, one thing led to another and we started to get into a threesome.

Everything was going perfectly. I was watching and playing with two sexy women while they played with each other. Eventually, after having our fun, we all fell asleep together – me in between these two sexy girls.

In the morning around 5:00am, I started to feel horny, and my girlfriend motioned me to play with her while the friend slept. I tried my best but just couldn’t get hard. In that moment, I actually desired the other girl, not my girlfriend. Needless to say, I stopped trying after failing for a little while, then went back to sleep.

An hour or so later, I started escalating on the friend, and my girlfriend went to the bathroom. I then started shagging the friend, but when my girlfriend got back, she was very annoyed. She said “ahem,” indicating for me to stop. Once the friend left a little later, my girlfriend and I didn’t have sex; instead, we spent the next hour going over what happened and my feelings for her and the friend. I was forced to handle some drama and her concerns that I didn’t value my girlfriend sexually like I did the new girl.

While I submitted to her frame (honestly, I probably shouldn’t have; I gave her too much power there), I learned how important it is to understand Queen Theory.

Queen Theory in a nutshell:

  • Every woman who is dating a man in an emotional capacity wants to feel like she’s the #1 woman in his life. Always.

  • No woman wants to share her man emotionally. Always.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Make Invites

make invitesYou talk to a girl on a street somewhere and you reach that ‘moment’. She smiles, you smile. She looks at you with expectation.

Invite her to do something!

You’re with a girl in a bar and it reaches that lull where it hasn’t gone bad but has grown stale. And now the pressure on you to entertain or interest her begins to mount.

Don’t entertain her; invite her to do something!

You meet a group of cool people at a party and hit it off. There’s a cool guy and some real cute girls in the group. They like to talk to you and you like to talk to them, but it seems like nothing will happen with them.

Stop waiting for them to take charge. Invite them to do something yourself!

Invite her, invite her, invite them. Invite people. If you hit it off with a girl, make invites. If you click with cool people, make invites.

If you want a social or romantic future with any person you meet, make invites.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to be Mindful (and Learn 10x Faster)

how to be mindful
When you set out to form new habits and self-improve, a big part of this is how to remember to make these adjustments in the first place.

Reader Kalyan writes in with a question about learning fundamentals:

hey, i just noticed that your website lacks a very important article (or maybe i dont know of it. if thats the case please send me link(s)). i know fundamentals are important. and everyone knows eye contact is important for example.. but i find it very hard to consistently remember to consciously focus on eye contact... i feel because of that, mastering individual fundamentals like that is much slower. so, an article about how to learn or focus on fundamentals would be helpful. i know its a good idea to work on one aspect at a time, but how could you actually remember to work on even one thing when youre out and talking to women?

It’s an interesting question, and in fact is one more concerned with mindfulness – the act of attunement to what is occurring both around you and within your head in the present moment – than the pure raw process of learning fundamentals.

The process of learning fundamentals themselves is straightforward:

  1. Pick a fundamental to work on, be that eye contact, posture, vocal intonation, or another

  2. Decide what to alter or improve in this fundamental

  3. Make that alteration/improvement over and over across the next 30-90 days

  4. Every time you notice yourself not doing it the way you want to do it, correct yourself

  5. After 1-3 months (and many hundreds of internal reminders) have passed, it’s now automatic

This process can transform you into a man with impeccable, powerful body language, mannerisms, and behavior in a relatively short time (six months to a year for really complete change; though you’ll start to see the effects of this exercise as soon as you begin work on it).

Yet you must remember to remind yourself to adopt these better fundamentals to change them.

What if you can simply never remember to do it?

How to Have Sex with Hippie and Hipster Girls

sex with hipsters
Hippie and hipster girls might seem a little kooky or out there. But they’re still interested in men, dating, and sex – you just need the right approach.

If there’s any demographic of women I’ve always been good with, it’s hippies and hipsters.

The two categories are quite close to each other, as they’re both non-normative, but they have slightly different ways of demonstrating their alleged non-conformity.

Hippie chicks are more extreme. They tend to travel a lot and rarely have stable jobs, or they often work low-end retail jobs to satisfy the need to socialize without too much work. They can drift for weeks or months on end. They also might eschew normal feminine habits, like wearing makeup, shaving, etc. One hippie chick I slept with, who had both hairy armpits and a full bush, told me her most recent job was making mermaid tails and selling them. She was surprisingly pretty, had a great body, and the sex was very, very nice.

Hipsters are the less-extreme version of hippies. Instead of completely dismissing society, they tend to express their rebelliousness in the following ways:

  • Tattoos

  • Dyed hair

  • Lots of piercings – the bigger and more grotesque, the more rebellious she is (the bull ring is the black belt of a hipster or alternative girl)

  • Alternative music

  • Active in the EDM (electronic dance music) scene

  • Music festivals

  • Extreme sexual liberation

  • Hang out at “alternative” venues (not super-popular spots)

  • More masculine than your average girl (does boxing, MMA, CrossFit, etc.)

  • Smoking weed and usually doing lots of party drugs like Molly

None of these traits in particular make a girl “alternative,” but having enough of them makes it very clear she’s trying to express to the world that she doesn’t “abide by its rules.”

The big point here is that she’s trying to be vocal about her rebellion. She wants everyone to know how she feels about the world around her.

What you may notice quickly through experience or contemplation is that they’re not really so different from any other girl; they just have some unique hobbies and characteristics.

In the end, however, they’re still girls.

And they like men, even men who are not anything like them – sometimes, especially if they’re not like them – since many of the men in their cliques can be quite effeminate and submissive because of their ideologies, though that can be said of most men in most social circles.

I think the biggest factor that keeps guys from sleeping with pretty and hot hippies and hipsters is simply that they don’t hang out where these women do. And I assume that if they do come in contact with these wild creatures, they tend to auto-reject these women because they’re from vastly different worlds.

Nightlife Shadowing, Pt 2: How to Disappear in Bars and Clubs

disappear in a club
The whole process you need to vanish in bars and nightclubs. Hide from exes, stalkers, or that annoying guy or chick who won’t let you be.

Welcome to second half of this series, guys! In part 1, we introduced and discussed the concept of shadowing, which can be understood as disappearing in the crowd. It is a technique that will help you escape the social world by becoming a ghost.

Sometimes it is best to be seen publicly (surrounding yourself with girls to create social proof), and sometimes it is not. We discussed the situations in which such a strategy would be useful, and the reasons why.

Shadowing helps you:

  • Avoid female attention in order to avoid stalkers and girls who are potential cockblocks or drama

  • Avoid auto-rejection; whenever girls see you hooking up with someone, you risk coming off as unattainable

  • Avoid being seen as loner (if you happen to be alone in a club)

  • Avoid making your girl feel slutty by making her disappear in the crowd, enhancing the effect of isolation

In part 2, we will discuss the “hows.” The techniques shared in this post will be pretty straightforward and easy to implement, so they are suitable for everyone. And they apply mainly to night-game situations, so you clubbers and bar jumpers, this post is for you.

Female Standards Are an Opening Bid

female standards
Women have a lot of very high standards. They just don’t always stick to those standards, is all. In fact, they usually abandon a lot of them.

I had a funny insight recently. Well, more a new way to look at something I already was aware of, but the new way of looking at it instantly made me go, “Ah, that’s how it is, yes.”

I started writing an article about girlfriend retention earlier. I got about a third of the way into it, got pulled away from it, and don’t really feel like going back to it right now. Then I started writing one on hooking up with girls who are horny when you’re not the most attractive guy in the room, but went on a big tangent and kind of lost my train of thought so shelved that one for now too (lost trains of thought happen sometimes when you write).

Anyway, in the ‘keeping a girlfriend’ one, I embedded a YouTube video of a hit 1970s soul song where the female singer talks about trying to hang onto a broke male partner she feeds and clothes and houses and whom she discovers is having an affair. It’s a great song (the single sold a million copies in its first eight weeks), and people love it... but the YouTube comment section is filled with women proclaiming how they would never tolerate a man straying on them and how the singer needs to find herself a new man.

And I thought “It is so funny how women do that.” Because I have had numerous girlfriends – beautiful, intelligent, charismatic girlfriends, with no shortage of male suitors and no lack of self awareness – declare to me they would never tolerate a man seeing other women while with them, even as they knew I saw other women while with them. I have watched these same women tell other women no woman should tolerate this and that any woman with such a man ought to leave him. Then come right back to me after these little rants to others, happy as pups.

It’s not just about fidelity. Women do it with many things. There was a poll I came across where someone asked Japanese women what they’d like to change about their man. 40% of women said a bit more muscle, 25% of women said more wealth, and another 25% said they wanted more personality. One male commenter on the poll results remarked “So just get muscular, be rich, and have a great personality. Easy!” (that’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t catch it). Another commenter remarked that the problem women face is all the ripped, rich guys with great personalities are gay.

And it’s true (the standards disconnect, not the gay thing. Although that is kind of true too)! If you ask most men what they want in a girlfriend, you’ll get a couple of items. Cute, nice, submissive, can cook and clean. That’s about what most guys want. Maybe one or two other things, like likes to dress sexy or is into this or that leisure activity. Many women have full-on wish lists of 30 to 70 qualities they want a man to have. Yet, again – reality doesn’t match women’s words. Look at the guys these girls with huge long lists of things they want date, and you discover their actual real world partners don’t have most of what these women say they want.

So why do women say they want all these things, and then turn around and date men who don’t have any of them? And then they keep saying they want those things anyway, in spite of their dating histories to the contrary?

Are women just nuts?

How to Use Takeaways (Plus, the 5 Types of Takeaway)

pickup takeaways
When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too much, not too little.

We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has posted a few recent articles onhit and run” in bars and nightclubs (where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And in Monday’s article on handling disrespect, Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.

A takeaway is any behavior you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men (many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the work in the courtship.

You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.

We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 5: Show Auto-Rejection to Make Her Chase

show auto-rejection
Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.

Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.

If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:

Onto the topic of Part 5: using auto-rejection to make girls chase you.

Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.

It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.

The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.

But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.