Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Girl Hunting: Pickiness vs. Selectiveness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl standards pickyMany guys are ‘too picky’ with girls. They ignore good-looking and great girls. Then end up alone, or stuck with girls who are bad news. You must escape this trap.

Here's a couple of concepts I want to differentiate for newer (and maybe some not-so-newer) guys:

Those of pickiness vs. selectiveness.

If you've read my stuff on screening for both long-term commitment as well as for girls you'll hook up with in one-night stands, you know how much I harp on screening out girls who aren't a fit and/or will cause you problems.

I've cited science that shows men are a lot less discriminating about the women they start relationships with than women are men, and that men look for red flags a lot less.

In other words, men are a lot more likely to stumble into relationship quicksand.

However, there is a flip side to all this discrimination you want to employ as a dater, and that is this: if you are too picky about the wrong things, you can also stunt your growth as a seducer and make it nigh impossible to get enough experience to progress.

This is the double side of being discriminating: you must be discriminating enough, without being too much so.

You must be selective without being overly picky.

How to Be a Charmer (by Making a Charming Approach)

Daniel Adebayo's picture
charmer being hugged by babeEvery man has the potential to become sizzlingly seductive to women. But not every man is willing to put in the effort.

Resistance is arguably the most frustrating experience in a new game student's journey to improve his sex life with cold approach.

After working up the courage to open - and begin a new interaction - it can appear in different forms, like:

These obstacles can even bring headaches to a skilled seducer.

However, there is a quality so tempting most women find it just about impossible to resist.

You’ve most likely heard of it before. It’s called charm. But what is it exactly?

The Algerian seducer and philosopher Albert Camus said:

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without asking a clear question.”

In other words, instead of asking new women blunt questions when trying to pick them up, you just speak and behave in deliberately suggestive ways. When done right, the girls you meet find you extraordinarily persuasive because your suggestions allow them to convince themselves they want you, instead of the other way around.

A charming man masks his cleverness by deflecting attention from himself and focusing it on his girls. He understands their point of view, boosts their self-esteem, and brings pleasure to the subconscious mind.

He appears as an indulging beam of light, making them feel big and powerful. He is the grand mage - who has internalized the law of least effort - to cast spells targeted at the weakest points of the women he meets:

  • Their vanity

  • Their desire for focused attention

We will be breaking this process down today.

First, note that people love to exaggerate their importance, even if it's only in the private world of their own mind. This, incidentally, is what makes even the most desirable women in the world vulnerable, since even these dream-caliber babes don’t tire of having their self-worth validated.

The satisfaction of this primal desire underpins the state of generalized addiction to social media we find ourselves in today. Still, a flickering screen can’t compete with the presence of a charming man, for his social graces have led many a woman into complete dependence.

Another quote to consider in today’s article is a classic:

“With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Women Are Totally Obsessed with Sex (in Many Ways More So Than Guys)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls horny all the timeSome guys seem to think women are ‘innocent’. The actual fact is women are obsessed with sex. They think, talk, and fantasize about it constantly.

Look closely at the picture on the right. What do you see?

I circled it for you. There just below this girl's hand. See it?

It's a dildo.

For all you guys worried about your penis size, you might want to pay attention to the size of that dildo too. That water bottle is 7". The dildo is at least an inch shorter than it... actually possibly a bit more than an inch shorter.

There is this misconception among sexually less experienced men that women don't actually get horny except in extreme situations.

"Only when she meets just the right guy... and he says just the right things... and takes just the right actions... does a woman get horny..."

Women do upkeep on this misconception themselves, talking about how "men are always horny, OMG" or "all men think about is sex" or "why are men so much hornier than women."

But the truth is, women are total horndogs themselves.

You might not believe it (yet) if you're not that experienced with them.

However, once you get out of the illusory la-la land men are in before they gain experience with women, your eyes will start to open more and more, and you'll realize the vast majority of women -- including the sweetest, cutest, most innocent of gals -- really love themselves some cock.

Influence Half-Life: While Away, You're Losing Influence

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

influence half-lifeInfluence has a half-life... and every moment you're not with someone, your influence over that person decays.

Riddle me this: why is it that some women, while with you, can be utterly captivated by you... then they leave your side and you never hear from them again?

Why is it that some women can be in a relationship and totally compliant with you, yet you send them off for a few days into the hands of their workmates or their wild party friends, and by the time they get back to you you're dealing with full-on rebellion?

Why is it that a girl will agree with you completely and tell you you are right about something, yet after a few days away she comes back and says "Actually you're wrong" and you have to have the same argument all over again?

It's because influence has a half-life, and every time you're away from her, your interest decays.

Your ability to influence another person is in direct proportion to that person's level of sustained exposure to you.

The less sustained that exposure is, the less strong the influence, and the more quickly it falls apart.

Tactics Tuesdays: 3% Frames (Push Her Off the Fence)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

3% framesDo you keep running into the same objections? Construct frames that circumvent these (and increase your odds by 3-5%).

I know a guy who always struggles with chemistry with women.

He doesn't do things exactly quite right. He uses all the right tactics and techniques with women, but he uses them in this way that is just a little bit 'off'.

When you try to point it out to him, he insists that in fact he is doing everything correctly. Then he says it must be a problem with the technique or that the technique doesn't work for him.

Regardless the reason, he constantly runs into issues where he has what he thinks is a great date, followed by the woman telling him at the end of it (or texting him later on) that she "just isn't feeling it."

"There's no chemistry," she says. Or "I didn't feel a spark."

I can't get him to fix the vibe/calibration issues. He doesn't see these as a real problem, probably because he's unable to pick up on this issue himself, even when women point it out or coaches point it out.

However, I wanted to help him, so gave him a tool I knew he could use: a 3% frame to help push things his way in those edge cases where it could go either way, but "I'm not feeling a spark" is the deciding factor.

Should You Date Girls Who DON'T Excite You?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

girls who don't excite youDating girls who only mildly excite you can help you get out of a dry spell with a short-term fling.

Hey guys. I hope you’re all doing great despite the circumstances.

Today I want to answer the question: Should you date girls you don’t feel too excited about?

FunkMaster69 raised this point:

I've found myself meeting women that I just think are meh. I usually pass on them because I wanna date someone that I like and who excites me. But I've noticed that, as I've been getting older, there have been less and less women around me. Many of them are getting cuffed, and, of the ones left, the quality seems to be getting lower and lower...a lot of single moms too.

The thing is that I think my standards are too high...looking back now, I could have banged or married like 100 different ladies. Seriously, I could have gotten married back in high school to one of the ladies in my honor classes if I wasn't so obsessed with cheerleaders who didn’t think I was their type (skinny little virgin). There aren’t that many women who impress me or blow me away...especially nowadays that I'm not in college anymore. The last one that I met stopped talking to me.

The one in college never even began talking to me. And the one in high school broke up with me. So should I keep waiting until I meet another one, which could take a long time and whom I might not land considering history, or just say screw it and date an average woman who would be delighted to have me? I've always wanted to be with someone that I'm excited to date and brag about...but the thought of dating one of these women who are very excited to date me sounds nice. I figure the relationship would be easy, and it would be a lot easier to get the date in the first place. But deep down, I would know for sure that I settled...idk, both choices seem wrong for some reason.

First things first: I wouldn’t commit to anything long-term with a girl who doesn’t excite me. That would be selling myself short and eventually lead to a bad relationship.

However, for:

Why not?

Over the long-term, you want to move toward finding and getting the women who truly excite you. This is the ultimate goal.

I keep in touch with issues men deal with by answering questions raised in our online discussion forum. Having been around for nearly 15 years, I may have distanced myself a bit from regular guys. Forum posts allow me to catch up.

Were it not for this post, I wouldn’t have reflected on this topic.

Heartwarming Nice Guy Friend Zone Success Stories

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

friend zone successGuys share their stories of getting together with their friend zone friends after 10 or more years. You’ll be misty-eyed and your heart will be warmed.

There's a heartwarming thread on Reddit where a bunch of nice guys share their friend zone success stories.

"I finally married the girl I've been friends with for over 10 years!" the lead post exclaims.

The lucky bridegroom shared a photograph of himself and the girl he finally netted after 10 long years (image to the right).

She embraces him in that manly way, cupping his breasts with her hands, as he stands butt-to-crotch with his back arched and his head cast back, gazing at her over his shoulder in a high effort "I'm doing more work to look at you than you are at me" sort of fashion.

Cheered on by this gleeful friend-getter's example, other men swiftly piled in to share their own good fortunes:

It is 100% possible to escape the friendzone.

I am currently in a relationship like that. Years and years invested into our friendship. And things finally worked out. And now we're planning our wedding.

You are a fucking rockstar OP. Absolute legend.

There's nothing quite so legendary as toughing it out in the friend zone for a decade before you finally get some. This is the stuff heroes are forged from.

Another commentator remarks with helpful advice to the previous one, saying:

This simply means you only thought you were in the friend zone. You can tell that you weren't because you aren't.

Wise words, /u/Aspect-of-Death.

When you think you're in the friend zone, then after years you start dating her, it means you were never in the friend zone all along.

So how does one know if one's truly in the friend zone or not?

Only years or decades of patience can tell you for sure.

Here's another Redditor sharing his happy outcome:

Congrats guys! I married an amazing woman that I had known and been friends with for 16 years. One day something just clicked and we couldn't be more in love.

All it took was 16 years and one day something clicked and she realized she wanted him too.

I wonder what clicked?

How to Work on Both Outer & Inner Game

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

inner and outer gameIt is possible to work on your self-image and outlook while also improving your game technique.

I’ve been coaching clients for many years now. Everyone has nearly the exact same issues, just in different degrees.

The universal problem they all have is taking their boring conversations that get them friendzoned or ignored, and turning them into attraction.

That was the promise that hooked me. If I learned the magic routines then sexy women would just follow me home for wild, no-strings-attached sex.

While that’s happened plenty of times, the reality is much different. I had to face soul-crushing amounts of rejection to develop the most fundamental skills.

Just learning how to approach, talk to women and hold their attention took me almost two years of daily effort.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Happy as You Lead Her Out the Door

Chase Amante's picture
lead her outWhen you escalate but she stops you cold, it can be awkward walking her out. To keep things cool (and raise the odds you see her again & bed her later), be merry as you walk her out.

Every guy has girls he pulls home who don’t go to bed with him.

Maybe she stopped you at the kiss, or maybe you got too shy and didn’t go for it.

Or maybe you made it somewhere into the escalation, only to hit a wall of last minute resistance you failed to overcome.

Regardless, you brought her back, hoped to get together with her, then it fizzled out.

In the end, you had to lead her out the door.

If you’re a reader on this site, you know that once she crosses that threshold, without ending up your lover, the odds she’s ever coming back plummet.

Nevertheless, there’s something you can do as you walk her out that increases those odds – not to 50/50, but at least to the point where you’ve still got a fighting chance.

Breaking Up with a Girl: What You'll Experience (and How to Manage)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

breaking up experienceBreaking up can pull you through a wringer. How you handle a breakup, and how you manage your emotions and recovery, will determine where you go from there.

When you break up with a girl, it won’t always be an easy process.

Some breakups go down easy. The ones where you weren’t overly attached to the girl, and you part as friends. Or the ones where for whatever reason you never got all that into her.

Those breakups, a lot of the time, can be smooth breakups.

Yet even those can sometimes have hiccups.

The tough breakups (whether it’s expected or not) are the ones where your emotions play games with you post-breakup.

They stretch you around like Silly Putty and break you to pieces like a ceramic pot.

How you handle yourself in the weeks and months after a breakup determine the life you’ll lead following it.