Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Social Value and Value Imbalances

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

social valueValue's a frequent subject of the articles on this site - we talk about ways to increase your passive value and value and attraction a great deal, while reducing "active value" (trying to talk up your value - if you have to say it, it isn't true), and we also talk about screening women carefully to avoid bringing someone into your life who's going to be a value drain.

Your value to other people - social value - is highly subjective by person, but it's something very worth being attuned to. Value assessments are a crucial part to our daily lives - every person you meet, greet, or so much as lay eyes on you do a quick value assessment of, and likewise everyone who speaks with, interacts with, or gazes upon you, for even the briefest of instants, does a quick value check on you as well.

When we interact with someone else is where these assessments really come into play, and where value imbalances raise their ugly heads - and make things really interesting, from a "what do you want from me, and what do I want from you" point of view.

Your and Her Expectations in Dating and Seduction

Richard Wendell's picture

By: Richard Wendell

dating expectationsNote from Chase: Richard is one of our more active members right now on the Girls Chase discussion boards. He recently put a post up on expectations that was quite good, and a number of other members of the boards suggested he submit this to the article side of the site - and I agreed. If you like Richard's writing and would like to see more from him, please let us know in the comment section below.

I give you Richard.

Men new to seduction will frequently fall short of their expectations of what is to come, at first anyway. Chase touched on this concept in his article on lowering your standards. Now, aspiring ladies' men often create, or set very high, expectations for themselves early. Goals like "nail a perfect 10 early on", or "only approach perfect women" (or seemingly perfect, anyway). Most guys hear about the prospects of pick up, hear about the glory, the stories, the seduction of pick up, and hear about how it easy it can be, and immediately set high expectations.

Rather than propel them to the vaunted halls of legendary success in their dating lives, though, these early unrealistic standards can hem in and hobble them.

I fell to this tendency and could not have even begun to have told you about how crippling this truly is until today, now that I’ve moved past it and understand the inner workings of this twisted phenomenon, but that’ll come later.

When you set high expectations for yourself early on without having the proper skill to acquire them, as you start to fall short of your goals, depression sets in, and, oftentimes, you start to work on approaching girls and working to improve with women less and less, and may even quit altogether... like a couple of people I know have.

The remedy for this though, is to step-stone your way up to your expectations. Create smaller goals for yourself, and work your way up that ladder. If you want to nail a 10! Start with 5s, then 6s, then 7s, and so and so forth.

How to Use Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Tone and Mood

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talkToday, I wanted to make a quick introduction to using sex talk in sexual framing after reading many requests from our readers. It seems sexual framing is a popular topic around here, and since there’ve been a number of requests for more information about this, I'm happy to oblige.

I thought that an introductory post into my methods for using sex talk and sexual frames, like this article, was in order.

Of course there is a lot more to say about the topic (oh man… so much more; you have no idea how much!) – so consider this just as a starter.

The purpose of this post is to give you an overall idea of how this all works. This will make it simpler for future, even more detailed pieces concerning this topic.

Turn Your Bachelor Pad into a Seduction Spot

Peter Fontes's picture

By: Peter Fontes

Setting up your bedroom to facilitate great sexual experiences isn't the most important thing you can work on for your ability to seduce women... but it's one of those little things that can make all the other things involved in taking a woman from stranger to lover a whole lot easier.

If your go-to sex logistics spot is a bachelor pad with a single, uncomfortable bed under stark lighting and subject to distracting noises, you're not really giving yourself the best chance to excel at said pursuit.

Alternatively, if you set things up right, you can have hours-long foreplay tangled in pillows, blankets, each other, nakedness, soft light and seductive music. That's what I call "the bubble" - note that this is different from the bubble you can have in conversation... which is where you and a girl are in such rapt communication together that it feels like it's just you and her together inside this bubble, and the whole outside world does not matter - similar feeling here, except it's in your place.

bachelor pad

With this article I'll be showing you how to create a bubble experience in your bedroom... and explain too just why you'll want to.

How to Break Up with a Girl Painlessly (Say These Words)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to break up with a girlA little while back, in the article on bitter women, JD asked a great question about the proper way to break up:

“[G]irls easily fall in love with me, and I'm not really considerate towards their feelings. Last time I broke up with someone it almost caused everyone to hate me... Obviously that's not something I'd like to happen. So how do you break up? How do you leave women thinking; 'wow, he was awesome, too bad he's moved on'?”

Breaking up is a wrenching affair much of the time, especially for the partner who's trying to hold on while the other lets go. Break ups are rarely mutual... far more often, they're one-sided, with one partner giving the other the boot, while the booted party feels hurt, shocked, injured, and helpless.

Especially if you've had a longer relationship (6+ months or so), you're usually going to be in for a bumpy road, emotionally.

How do you deal with all these emotions, and how do you figure out how to break up with a girl in a way that's fair to both people involved and doesn't leave a lot of smashed, hurt, broken feelings?

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

“In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?”

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

The 3 Different Kinds of Leaders

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

A few weeks ago an anonymous GC reader made a very simple request:

“Can you write an article on leadership?”

Yes, certainly; I’m very happy to oblige. Leadership is a quality coveted by men the world over. It’s not only the ability to lead individual men and women, but the ability to compel larger groups to work harder and achieve more than they ever would on their own.

how to be a leader

Similar to improving your skill with women, there is a common misconception about leadership that it’s just something people are born with and can never be learned. But today I’m going to break down leadership, and show that it can be learned by anyone... anyone willing to put in the time and effort to learn it, of course.

The Seductive Power of Shy

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Much of men’s dating advice tells you to be confident, but after a certain point a man with little to fear might just ask the question, “Can being shy be turned to one’s advantage?”

being shy women

As it turns out, shy combined with moments of confidence can create an incredibly alluring contrast, and yes, be incredibly attractive. In fact, the right use of “shyness” can show off a deeper internal confidence than just being extroverted and outgoing all the time can.

Being shy-natured can be a powerful way to separate yourself from the noise of the crowd and heighten the experience of sharing a moment with you.

Going Out to Meet Women Even When You Don’t Want to

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

meet women routineWhen I first started lifting weights regularly, there were plenty of days I did not want to go to the gym at all - days I felt sick, days I felt tired, days I was down in the dumps. But I made myself go anyway, because I had committed myself to it, and I knew that if I started skipping days at the gym, I'd skip more and more, and whatever gains I actually made would be slow and, likely, negligible.

So, I went, time and again, when I did not want to go at all. The feeling after was always triumphant - I had vanquished my emotions and managed to achieve in spite of myself. And six months after I'd begun working out three times a week, every week, I was back in front of a bunch of my old colleagues, and everyone was impressed at how much muscle I'd put on.

I hadn't even realized; because I saw myself in the mirror every day, I hadn't seen the transformation. All I'd seen was that I kept lifting heavier and heavier amounts of weight.

Going out to meet women is just like this; the important thing is not being "ready" to go out and meet women - the important thing is going out and meeting women.

But a lot of men have trouble doing this.

Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control in Life and Relationships

Peter Fontes's picture

By: Peter Fontes

scare tacticsIn "The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View", Zac wanted to know why 'scare tactics' within relationships don't work:

“It will be cool to have an article on "Scare tactics", and why it doesn't work when there is no genuine honest and open communication.”

The question was posed in the context of styles of leadership and how to stop playing games in a relationship – which are actually two topics with a whole lot in common.

In this article, you're going to learn what a scare tactic is, why people use them, why they're ineffective in the long term and what techniques you can use to avoid them to have longer, more fruitful relationships, romantically and platonically.

First though, let's get an understanding of scare tactics.