Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Post-COVID Nightlife Observations

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

post-covid nightlife observationsNightlife has opened up many places again, now that COVID restrictions have lifted. How has women’s nightlife behavior changed – and how’s it remained the same?

Hey guys!

Today’s post is sociological. I’ll share my latest nightlife observations post-COVID-reopening. As I write this in August 2021, many have been desocialized from measures adopted due to the great COVID-19 pandemic.

If you live somewhere where things are not reopening yet, this post will still be useful since it can give you some idea of what to expect when reopening happens.

Do You HAVE to Be Your Group's Alpha to Look Good?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

must you be alpha?When you go out with the guys, do you need to be the alpha male? What if your girlfriend is there and she’s watching – will she lose respect for you if you’re not alpha?

On my article about screening vs. qualifying, reader therock asked about the necessity of being the alpha male:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure there's an article about this specific issue on the site so I thought I'd ask.

I noticed a curious thing when I'm with my girlfriend in a social circle situation.

Say we're all going to get pizza, all close friends, including my girlfriend.

Now there's always someone who's in the lead.

Simple stuff like where to go, what to check out, etc

While I'm clearly in the leadership position with my girlfriend, I find myself in a situation where we're both being led by another guy.

I'm much more of an interpersonal leadership kinda guy. One to one with a girl I clearly lead. But in groups, it's a bit different.

I considered trying out leading he group but found it counter effective for these reasons:

1. One guy's gonna come out of top and if it's not me, I lose even more power points for trying AND failing.
2. Most of the time the guy was doing an excellent job at leading the group. He knows the best restaurants, knows where we'll have a good time (he knows the city much more than the rest of us). So no one's complaining. I've had situations where other guys made leadership faux pas and i jumped in, doing what's best for the group.
3. The leader is my friend, not hostile and never pulls crap like trying to flirt with my girlfriend.

My question to you: is it mandatory that I always lead any group I find myself in with my girlfriend?

What is its impact on attraction?

And what can one do to minimise the effects of being led by another man in front of his girl?

This is a good question, and it's a common one for guys who're starting out.

The answer is a bit nuanced, too.

How to Deal with Women Who Flake (and How to Prevent It)

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By: Guest Contributor

woman snow flakeWomen flake for various reasons – not all of them having to do with you. However, there are steps you can take to avoid flaking… plus others you can use when flakes occur.

One of the least fun experiences in game is when a woman flakes on your date. You have amped yourself up and carefully planned for the date, especially if your goal was to have sex on the first date.

And yet flakes are unavoidable when you date multiple women. Whether you are learning how to use Tinder to meet women or practicing cold approach in day or night game, you will inevitably have a portion of your girls flake.

The problem is that guys often make mistakes when women flake on the date. These errors generally fall into two categories: First, they set up the date suboptimally, leaving the woman with concerns or other reasons to flake. Second, they do not react well when a girl flakes, ruining their chances of seeing her again.

Let’s break down the common causes of flaking, discuss how to minimize flaking, and explain what to do when a woman flakes.

Tactics Tuesdays: Sexual Frame Setting

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sexual frame settingThere are a variety of tools you can use to set sexual frames. But they aren’t all best used at all the same times in a seduction. Here’s which to use and when.

On one of my articles, Finegirl asks:

Chase could you deepen alek's article on sexual frames where he talks about the chase frame and the inefficiency of direct, etc? It would be nice. Clarify these things and bring more examples of great techniques

Yeah sure. Let me take you through what Alek is talking about and give you a bit of my own take.

Alek gives a great run-down on the various ways sexual frames may set (either you set them or she does).

He doesn't go in-depth into any of these, as that was not the point of the piece. Most of them we cover elsewhere.

However, per Finegirl's request, I'll cover the key tactics and how they're best used in my opinion a bit more in-depth here.

Creepy Guys Do This 1 Specific Thing Cool Guys NEVER Do

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

creepy guys vs. cool guysCreepiness isn’t about how attractive you are. It’s about behavior. Creepy people behave in ways that set off alarms in others’ heads. Cool people don’t.

What is 'creepiness'?

How do you define it?

A lot of guys really dislike this term. There are all kinds of unfavorable definitions for it out there, such as "Creepy is just what a woman calls a man she does not find attractive."

But everyone's felt creeped out by someone at some point.

Even if you're a guy, I have no doubt you've felt creeped out. Whether by:

  • Some shifty character you suspected was getting ready to mug you

  • Some gay guy or transsexual you suspected wanted to get with you

  • Some lonely individual tagging along with you or your friend group

... you've probably been creeped out by someone.

So what is this 'creepy feeling', exactly?

In the past, I've defined creepiness as being a result of someone hiding his true intentions (see: How to Not Be a Creepy Guy). However, today we'll go deeper still.

You see, there are certain rules that govern 'creepiness'.

The better you know them, the better you will be at not triggering the 'creepy switch'.

2 Ways a Girl May Resist You Picking Her Up: ASD vs. FSC

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

man trying to kiss womanWomen will resist your pickup attempts for different reasons. One is to avoid looking easy (anti-slut defense)… but another is because you don’t seem like the “right” guy.

Hey guys! Welcome back.

Today I will discuss two different forms of resistance you get from women: anti-slut defense (ASD) and female state control (FSC). I’ll differentiate between both and discuss their connection to frame-related issues while providing suggestions for dealing with each.

I have mentioned both forms of resistance at length in the past and dedicated a long series to female state control. It is a fairly new concept I came up with a few years ago, which generated a paradigm shift in the seduction community’s conception of female resistance.

Anti-slut defense, on the other hand, is an older concept, if still key. Many seducers have also discussed it at length.

I don’t believe that a comparison or differentiation between the two concepts has ever been attempted, with clear indicators allowing us to distinguish them. Understanding each form of resistance and telling them apart is crucial if you want to use the correct remedy efficiently. I propose to do this today.

First, let’s recap both types of resistance.

Tactics Tuesdays: Bedroom Role-Playing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

bedroom role-playSpice up your sex life with a little bedroom role-playing. You might not realize it, but she’s got fantasies – and you can bring them to life with just a bit of imagination.

This is a pleasant tactic to spice up sex sessions with both short- and long-term lovers.

It's the bedroom equivalent of our more general seduction role-playing tactic (which you can use outside the bedroom as well).

It works because, well, women are naughty girls who enjoy a dirty man.

Odds are your woman conjures fantasies some of the time while you're railing her.

She may or may not have talked to you about this.

Not all women will. Many fear you'll judge them... or that they'll hurt your pride or make you jealous if they do.

But just like sometimes you might imagine the girl you're giving it to is actually some actress, porn star, or pretty female workmate of yours, or else some other more idealized fantasy woman from a scenario you've cooked up in your head, women do this too.

Rather than stick to your own private fantasies while she sticks to hers, you may opt to have your fantasies join forces... and behold the power of the joint bedroom role-play.

Helping Women Solve Their Problems

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

helping women solve problemsWomen will tell you about their problems. But what can you do to help? Can you solve them yourself? Even if you can (or could)… should you?

One of the most aggravating disconnects between men and women is our approach to problems.

When a man has a problem, he wants to solve it. When he talks about it, he's in search of solutions.

When a woman has a problem, she wants to vent. When she talks about it, she's in search of a friendly ear. If someone has some great ideas on how to fix her problem, she'll be irritated by it, because that person is trying to fix things, instead of just listening.

Women throughout your life are going to bring you their problems.

This can end up an endlessly aggravating situation for both parties, as the male-female problem-solving approaches clash.

If you cannot find a way to resolve it, all you'll end up with is two very aggravated people.

How to Stop Being Invisible to Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to stop being invisible to womenDo women not notice you’re there? Are you… invisible to women? If so, there are a few key reasons why. And the solutions are not as hard as you might think.

I spent most of my teens and early twenties alone and depressed.

The one constant thought in my mind, the biggest source of despair, was over how invisible I was to women.

How to Win Frame Wars

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

how to win frame warsYou can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.

Hey guys and welcome back!

In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.

Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.

She may try to steal the frame because:

  • Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize

  • When men chase, her ego is satisfied

  • It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you

But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.

The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.

In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:

All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.

Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.

So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.

Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.

What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.