Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Do We Label Women “Sluts”?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

One of our discussion forum members started a thread asking whether, when surrounded by women decrying the slut label, he should be truthful to himself and state that there’s a good reason behind this label, or whether he should tell women like this what they want to hear (and what he probably needs to say if he wants to sleep with them): that he thinks such a label is totally unreasonable... even if this is being untruthful to himself.

That’s an interesting question, but one I think that the answer to (supposing your goal is to become a real “knock her socks off” ladies man) is a fairly simple “fake it till you make it.”

That is to say, you may think she’s a “slut” now... but once you’ve got a significantly larger amount of sexual experience under your belt, you’re probably not going to care one way or the other about what label fits her best. So might as well just act like you’re already there and get the girl in the meantime. You’ll be glad you did later.

women sluts

But that raised an interesting question for me: why is that newer guys and less experienced guys or, alternately, bitter guys (not necessarily the same as new/inexperienced guys), use the “slut” label on women... while more experienced guys who’ve made their peace with women’s sexuality don’t really care?

What If She Says No?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

You did it; you took the plunge and asked her to do something... to come with you, go out with you, tell you something, show you something... to invest.

And now, she’s said no.

what if she says no

Well what exactly do you do? What do you do when she says no?

This is a pressing question for men. If guys didn’t worry about answering the “what if she says no?” question, men everywhere would walk up to the women they wanted and address them with reckless abandon.

There’d be no “missed connections”; no “I saw this beautiful girl today, and she saw me, and I wish I’d gone and said something to her.”

No more “waiting for the right moment”... not really.

Because there’d be no fear of looking awkward and feeling uncomfortable if it didn’t work out. Yet, this is not the case, because men generally do not know how to handle a no.

In Part 2 of our 3-part series on compliance (you can read Part 1 here: How to Get Her to Say “Yes”), we’re going to tackle your options for how to proceed when you get a “no.”

How to Get Her to Say “Yes”

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

You meet a girl, and it’s going okay. She’s chatting with you, seems nice enough, and isn’t trying to pry herself away like those girls who really obviously aren’t into you do. Yet, she isn’t exactly throwing herself at you, either.

So, you decide to get some more investment from her; partly as a compliance test to see where you’re at, and partly also to ratchet up attraction by making her get a foot in the game too (instead of sitting on the bench watching you play).

To do this, you ask her to move a little ways with you: “Hey, let’s move over there, the lighting’s much better.”

But, she says no: “I’m comfortable here, I don’t want to move.”

get her to say yes

Gulp. What do you do now?

If you stay and keep talking as if nothing happened, you’ve yielded control of the interaction to her, and if experience has told you anything it’s that whatever chances you had before are sunk now.

Yet if you leave, the chance you’ll get another shot with her is not so hot; you can always reopen her later on, but there’s a good chance she’ll be gone or locked up in conversation with someone else by then, and you won’t exactly be riding back in on a majestic white horse at that point either. You’ll just be that guy she didn’t connect with earlier who circles back around for another shot.

As a third alternative, you could launch into a hard push... but she’s not that sold on you yet so you realize your chances of pulling this off are dim, and besides, you don’t really want to pull the nuke out of your arsenal this early on and launch into a battle of wills before the game is even afoot.

At this point, it may well seem like your interaction with her is all out of gas, and you’ve no choice left but to pull off the highway and hitchhike home.

But what if she says no and you respond another way?

What Sexy Is and How to Be It

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

sexyAs I walk around the streets of my city, I’m usually struck by three things. The first is the beauty of nature. I think it’s important to stop and appreciate the beautiful things that surround us all and to really remember that life, and the world, is more than just about our singular and, honestly, not very special existence. In a way, you have to stop and smell the roses.

The second thing I’m struck by is sexy women. Women who are dressed well, know how to flaunt their bodies, and are dripping with sexuality are most certainly drawing the attention of all of the men around them – yours truly included (though I am probably more subtle about it).

The third thing, believe it or not, is actually sexy men. I can really appreciate a stylish, confident man. When I see one, I often think to myself “He must get a lot of women, get a lot of attention from women, or at least should. And if he doesn’t, he should be reading Girls Chase.” But for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on the latter two things that strike me.

Which leads to the question: What actually is sexy? What makes a sexy man or a sexy woman? And more importantly, how do you become the one that applies to you? And it is very important that the world be filled with more sexy men and women. So making this transformation is what this post will be dedicated to.

First Time Picking Up Girls? 3 Key Mindsets to Help

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

First time at a bar picking up girls or going out on a hunch? Here are the three things you should do to optimize your chance for growth... and a few things I would have done different my first time around if I could do it all again.

first time picking up

All three points I am going to share with you will serve to illustrate a deep principle at the heart of improving with women.

Whether it is your first time heading out or if you are just curious about how you measure up and if your fundamentals are good or not, there will be a few thought-provoking ideas to be found here.

Your Animal Side: What She Truly Needs to be Aroused

Ross Leon's picture

By: Ross Leon

animal sideBehind the boastful brain and flashy neocortex of humans lies something much more basic, yet not fully understood. Like all other sexual creatures, we are subject to an instinctive, animalistic sexual desire, which guides us through our day-to-day interactions with the opposite sex.

For other creatures, sex is quite simple.

One of our closest extant relatives, the Bonobo, uses sex quite frequently. They do not engage in sexual monogamy, but rather use sex in all manner of social interactions. They use sex as a greeting, for reproduction, and as a method of bond-forming between women inside a group. In short, they have sex, and they have it often.

This is a far cry from the typical human civilization. Questions of maintaining said amount of sexual activity aside, sex just doesn’t come as easily for us humans. We often place value in social status, mating with the correct people, and avoiding mating with those that would take away from our value, rather than add to it.

Even when you throw out any social status issues, sex just doesn’t come as easily for some men. Why is that?

20+ Little Tips to Prepare for a Night Out

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

After so many complicated and theoretical posts, I will now write a post that’s suitable for you all – even beginners. I will share very simple stuff that you can use right away. But keep in mind: just because something is simple doesn’t make it bad.

I will share in this post a bunch of tips on how to prepare for a good night out clubbing (this also goes for bars). When I say “good night out”, I am of course talking about having a flourishing night when it comes to picking up women. These are just some small tips that I have gathered from meeting women since I was 17.

prepare for a night out

None of the things I will share in this post will be hard to pull off. Again, it will all just be a grab bag of small tips that you can apply this next weekend (or tonight if you go out).

I will split this post into two sections. The first one being the preparations – what you can do before heading out, while the second will cover things that are valuable for when you actually are out there.

The Styled for Summer Style Consultation

Darius Bright's picture

By: Darius Bright

Note from Chase: this is the full style consultation from Darius of SexyStyleForJoe.com for our winner of the “Styled for Summer” contest we ran from late June to early July. Darius has gone provided a full head-to-toe fashion breakdown for our winner here, in a post overflowing with juicy fashion tips.

If you’re interested in a fashion consult with Darius yourself, I’ve included a link in the footer of the post you can find out more information about this via. And if you enjoy Darius’s work, also be sure to see his Girls Chase article on summer fashion. Here’s Darius.

Hey guys,

It’s been a few weeks since the #StyledForSummer contest ended and before everything else I’d like to thank those who entered on Twitter! It was fascinating and quite challenging to share insights on how to help improve your personal style in 140 characters for, as you’ll notice soon, I usually get quite “wordy” on the subject. But hopefully those quick tips didn’t go to waste.

This is a follow-up article to the contest, and I’m very happy to say that the winner of #StyledForSummer decided to share his prize and gave permission to publish his consultation as an article here on Girls Chase.

Even though it’s not exactly the same as getting a personal, in-depth analysis of your looks and how to improve them, I’m sure that every reader who’s looking to improve his style will benefit from reading on (hint: guys of shorter stature, pay attention, there will be some gems for you here!).

styled for summer

Before we begin, I’d like to explain what happens before the actual consultation so that everything makes more sense. A consultation starts with a short questionnaire to determine a person’s style preferences, stronger points, weaknesses (we all have parts of our bodies we are proud of and aspects we’d rather not draw attention to), budget, and target audience.

This is one of the reasons why you’ll see certain suggestions and recommendations, and why in this consultation, ironically, we focused more on autumn to spring looks than styles for summer.

Lastly, you’ll notice that pictures are heavily cropped and kept in lower resolution. I am very grateful to the winner for agreeing to share his consultation, and I think it just makes sense to remove any identifying aspects that are not absolutely essential for readers to fully comprehend and learn from this article. By the way, if you find this article helpful, please say a big thank you to the winner!

And now, let’s look at the consultation.

“I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Four friends gathered together at a bar for a drink after work. As they sipped down their beers, the conversation drifted to talk of women... and their myriad troubles with them.

“I can’t get girls, bros,” sighed the good-looking man forlornly. “And it’s because – of course! – they only want to date guys with money.” He looked around at his friends, waiting for a response.

can't get girls because

“Hmph,” said the wealthy man, responding. “You think you’ve got it bad? I can’t get girls because they only want to date guys who are tall!”

“Pssh, that’s nothing,” said the tall man. “The reason I can’t get girls is because they only ever get with guys who are white.”

“That sucks, but you know what the worst is?” said the average-looking white man. “The worst is that girls only want to be seen with guys who are good-looking.”

The Top Mindsets of All Confident Men

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

A while back Chase wrote a fantastic piece on confidence called “Does Confidence Equal Success? Actually… No.” What made it a fantastic piece was its flying in the face of the conventional wisdom of people trying to give you advice with women telling you to “Just be confident!”

Now is confidence near the top of the list of things women find extremely attractive in men? Absolutely. But can you feign confidence? Absolutely not. Even if you fool a girl for a minute or two, girls can always sniff out a mere veneer of confidence from a mile away.

confident men

And as Chase rightly points out in his post, that’s where most guys go wrong. You can’t just fake confidence. Confidence actually has to come from somewhere – either from past successes or a solid foundation of belief, process, and efficacy in other areas of your life.

So how does one develop confidence? How do you get to be like those guys who can just go up to girls in the middle of a town square and just start joking around with them? How do you become one of those guys who are unfazed by rejection who and maintains a deep belief in themselves? I’ve been re-reading Steven Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” along with some other materials that I have found truly valuable during my own journey.

It is entirely doable. And today I’m going to show you exactly how.