Social Commentary | Page 11 | Girls Chase

Social Commentary

Urbanization, Romantic Anonymity, and the Birth of Game

urbanization and game
Game – a male strategy to date and mate with women – is a phenomenon that emerges naturally in complex, organized, crowded societies.

In 2 A.D., Roman poet Ovid published his three-piece work Ars Amatoria, the first two books of which deal with how to find, bed, and retain women.

Ancient Shang Dynasty poems and love songs weave details on how to seduce in with their descriptions of the romances they retell.

In 374 A.D. Augustine of Hippo picked up women on the streets of Carthage, and would share his exploits with wingmen who picked up women too. Casanova traipsed through 18th Century Europe carving notches into his bedpost. The ancient world was filled with men who studied ‘the game’.

There’s always resistance to the idea of men learning and practicing game. Some folks will tell you it’s unnecessary – you’re supposed to just know this stuff. It’s preprogrammed into you. Others will tell you it’s immoral; why can’t you just pick one girl and settle down? Still more men will tell you seduction is a misguided pursuit that takes you away from your role as a man, or from greatness.

Yet despite the critics, this skill set of meeting, seducing of, and sleeping with women pops up again and again throughout history – most recently beginning in earnest in the 1990s of our own age and civilization.

For something so many people will tell you you do not need, why does game keep resurfacing?

5 Reasons Women are Far Dirtier Than Men Are

women are dirty
While women present themselves as reserved angels, the truth is they’re naughty little sexual imps – more so than most men.

Hey team, I know it’s been a little while. I hope you all have been doing well in my absence.

I have been having a lot of conversations lately about sexuality. And today I want to talk about something that very often surprises men who don’t have very much experience with women – and it still surprises some men who do!

It’s the fact that women are far dirtier, hornier, and more sexual than you could ever believe.

I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by a lot of women in my time, some of whom I’ve been romantically involved with and many of whom I haven’t. Some have been absolute bombshells, and some haven’t (though still attractive for the most part).

But the incredible gift and advantage of my situation has been that I’ve been able to glean a lot of perspectives on life, sex, and romance straight from the horse’s mouth.

It’s funny how honest a girl will be with you if you create an environment in which she knows you aren’t going to judge her. And if you have a few women in your life with whom you don’t have any sexual interest or chemistry, then she will feel comfortable being that much more honest.

So I want to share with you five statements that I’ve heard from countless women at different points in time about their kind – some of which have even surprised me.

I have found most of these statements to be applicable to nearly all of the women I’ve talked to at one point or another. However, there is a very important caveat to these statements that I will talk about after I share them with you.

And you *must* remember the caveat in order to get anything useful from this article.

Here we go.

But the Girls in My Country are Different

girls in my country are different
You might think your countrywomen are different. But women are women, whether you meet them in the U.S., Jordan, India, or Saudi Arabia.

Some years ago – never mind how long precisely – a 9th-grade biology book fell into my hands. With my limited reading ability and understanding, combined with my weird curiosity, I skimmed through its pages. I discovered the nervous system, cardiovascular system, lymphatic system... and then the reproductive system.

It was shocking to first learn about the weird things we do in order to produce little people in such detailed, clinical fashion. What is even more shocking was to realize that in my (at the time) few years on this Earth, I had not once stopped to wonder where babies came from. I saw them popping up here and there all the time, seemingly out of nowhere, and that did not bother me at all!

Because I was so unfamiliar with sex, the entire act was a mystery to me. Almost mystical to me. Babies seemed to just spontaneously pop out of nowhere; I could not imagine a man and a woman undressing and doing what men and women do to make babies.

Even after my big realization, the “kids popping out of nowhere” theory still made more sense to me than the reality of two people getting all naked and going at it. My culture was too strict, imposing too many complications, too many taboos to actually allow such a thing to ever happen. The picture of an innocent couple all naked and banging was too farfetched to actualize. Not surprisingly, I adopted the mentality that maybe the girls in my country are just different!

Since coming to this realization many years ago, I have learned the truths about human sexuality. And I have learned that there is so much sex happening everywhere. Yes, EVERYWHERE! In fact, the amount of sex that happens everywhere happens on a much higher frequency than the number of babies popping out. And much of this sex that happens everywhere is instigated by women – everywhere. The things I’ve learned by personal experience have completely changed my paradigm.

Book Review: Talent Is Overrated by Geoff Colvin

talent is overrated
Are you born talented, or do you learn it? Varoon reviews the book… plus why some men succeed as others flounder.

Throughout the history of the Girls Chase boards, I and some others have noticed two kinds of people who post:

  • Guys who ask few specific questions but are desperate to become perfect in dating right away, hoping to get from A to Z – right away, right now. They fixate on acquiring all the information ASAP to “beat the final boss” in the dating game, yet they never seem to post reports or focus on specific areas they need help with. They don’t want to play the game and learn it themselves over time, as all woman-experienced men have done. Over a period of months, they ask the same questions over and over without ever field testing advice given by guys with experience. Typically they get frustrated over their lack of results... and quit.

  • Guys who put forth specific situations and ask very specific questions, then listen to and immediately follow the advice they get. These guys have accepted and evaluated their current strengths and weaknesses, and they know exactly where they need to grow. These guys are asking lots of questions that are very pointed to specific areas needing improvement, and after they learn something new, they go field test it, over and over until they get it right. These guys have field reports popping up repeatedly with new questions or new skills. They post frequently but also demonstrate improving results.

I’ve always noticed that those men who’ve grown steadfastly and quickly tend to be the second type of guy. And in addition to the big pushes from Chase and others to go and practice rather than simply reading GC and learning, I discovered that I and those men have grown more through focused effort. In effect, we were training our behavior through live practice and feedback from the women around us.

Then I started reading Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. This book argues that no human being is inherently talented; instead, we become extraordinary only through focused and deliberate effort. Everything clicked.

We’ve talked about this before in How to Master Anything. One of the tools that will get you the best, most consistent results in the long term in ANY field or exercise – including the art of attracting women – is deliberate practice.

Dating Success is Probability, Not Cause and Effect

cause vs. probability
If you think about success with women as cause and effect, you’ve got it all wrong. You must think in terms of probabilities.

First off, causality and probability are not opposites.

But from a mental models point of view, they may as well be.

Most people in most walks of life think about things in terms of causality. Causes have effects, and effects have causes. If X happens, it’s because you did Y... or someone did. And if you do Y, X will happen.

This is what we might call ‘normal thinking’. It’s how the untrained mind interprets everything.

If you go out to the bar at night, and meet a girl, and you and her end up in bed together, you caused that.

If you hit on a girl in the office, and she rejects you, and then the entire office mocks you for weeks for it, you caused that too.

We’re going to unpack a lot of this thinking today. I’m going to show you why it’s not entirely correct, and in fact is more incorrect than correct.

Along the way, I’m going to expose a lot of wrong thoughts you likely have about seduction, about social interaction, and about the way the world itself works.

Buddhism, the False Face, and the Paradox of Frame

paradox of frame
How does Buddhism relate to dating? While you refine your persona, you must put on a “false face”… Yet as you do you deceive yourself, as much as others.

I was talking to a coaching client of mine the other day. He expressed to me how badly he wanted to be a “seduction machine” and that he was willing to do anything to reach that level.

I smiled. His enthusiasm and drive was uplifting. Also, he was willing to pay good money for probably one of the most important skills a man can have in his life: the ability to connect with women emotionally, romantically, and sexually; that is a sign of drive if anything is.

However, progress is not so simple. Or, to put it another way, it is far simpler than you can imagine.

In his imagination, he had this grand idea of “the master seducer” – a version of himself that is everything he’s ever wanted it to be: to have a voice that sizzles women’s ears and makes their pussies tremble, to walk and move with the grace and power of a seasoned warrior, to have eyes that undress women literally and emotionally, and to have a voice that commands them as though Zeus himself demanded their obedience.

Unfortunately, this self is a mirage. Fortunately, it is also closer to you than your skin and your bones.

This is not a contradiction. Contradictions are when one thing needs to be right, and you say both are. This, instead, is a paradox: both statements are correct yet seem contradictory.

And it’s been my experience that if you are following a path of inquiry and have not yet reached a paradox, you haven’t gone far enough.

The Slave to Pussy™ Argument

slave to pussy
Some men argue that to learn game is to be a “slave to pussy”. Is this argument valid? Or is it a flawed argument that misses the big picture?

If you’ve been working on your game for any not too-short period of time, you’ve probably heard the Slave to Pussy™ Argument. That argument goes something like this:

Don’t waste your time on girls, you’re just being a slave to pussy. Instead you should be hunting, fishing, working out, stacking money, and making something of yourself. Let the women come to you.

I suppose you might also call this the Field of Dreams Argument: if you build it, they will come.

Get rich enough, jacked enough, and masculine enough first. Then, girls will begin to pop into your life all on their own.

Obviously, if you know me, or this website, you know I’m going to tell you this argument is bunk. The idea that you don’t need to learn game to do better with girls (or put in the practice to solidify that game) is one we’ll tear apart here.

But before we even dive into these arguments, I’ll point out one simple flaw of this argument. That is its setup of game (learning to do well with girls) and fundamentals (turning yourself into a man with attractive passive value) as two opposing, mutually exclusive forces – when the truth is, these two forces are complementary. That is to say, learning game does not stop you from working out or stacking money; and you should develop yourself in multiple ways (yes, learn game, but also lift, and improve your financial prospects too. And read a lot of good books). We’ll dive into this further below... But first, a comment on the men who don’t even think your fundamentals are worth improving.

What is Masculinity? (or: Are You Man Enough)

masculinity
What is masculinity? Who defines it – who makes the rules? Is it intrinsic, or culturally determined? And is it even “real”?

Sometime back, I came across an intriguing double bind.

I found it in the comments section of some feminist website, on an article written by a man about his enjoyment of pegging (i.e., when a man lets a woman shag him with a strap-on). Some male commenter had insulted this writer, and called him less than a man.

But then, the feminist readers of the website piled onto this commenter. And they all had the same attack line for him:

“What’s the matter, are you not man enough to take it up the butt?”

It’s a fascinating rhetorical device. Either you agree to receptive anal sex, which has profound effects on the male psyche (anecdotally, men who receive anal sex become more feminine, moodier, and bitchier), effectively making you no longer a full ‘man’... Or you don’t agree to receptive anal sex, in which case you are ‘not man enough’.

This double bind got me thinking: what is masculinity, anyway? How do we define what is or isn’t masculine? Who in our society holds the right to craft these definitions, women or men? Is masculinity decided by the society, by the man, or by something else?

The answers will intrigue you, I think.

And don’t worry – in the end, we’ll address that feminist double bind attack too, and show how a firm concept of masculinity makes attacks like these run off you like water.

Should You Have Sex with Prostitutes?

should you do prostitutes
To pay for sex or not? What are the benefits to your game (and life)... And what are the risks?

A few years back, on my article about pornography addiction, a reader named John Jones asked about prostitution:

Chase,

Great article. I do have a major problem. Every few months I get a prostitute. I find that paying $300 for an hour of a blowjob and sex is a good deal but I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Can you please write an article about prostitution? Or give me some advice. I read a lot of your writings, and I gotta admit, I aspire to be like you and think the way you do. You really do have it together, brother.

Thanks.

All right.

So, let me say before I get into this, there are a lot of men with entrenched, emotional opinions about this issue within the manosphere on the Internet.

Some of these guys love prostitutes, and view any advice against using prostitutes as a personal attack. They see it either as an attempt to undermine their freedom / control them by taking prostitutes away or making their patronage unacceptable (or illegal)... Or they view criticism as a personal attack that undermines their personal value or status as men.

Others of these guys hate prostitutes, and view them as dirty, degenerate, and/or disgusting, and/or view the men who patronize prostitutes as pathetic or weak.

I’m going to come at this article from a different angle.

I’m here neither to condemn nor absolve. Instead, I’m going to talk with you about what I have seen, again and again, repeatedly, among the various groups of men who use prostitutes, and the effects (both good and bad) prostitution can have on men.