Seduction

There’s an epidemic these days of men bitching, whining, and moaning about women. Yet a man’s attitudes toward women tell women a whole lot about him…

In influence, there is this phenomenon known as social proof.

When you run into a potentially awkward situation with a woman, you need to ask yourself: will she be the one who controls the frame, or will it be you who does?

How much of seduction is words, appearance, or actions... and how much of it is just frames?

If I walk up to a woman and she acts like she doesn't want me and I accept that frame, that was frames.

Likewise, if I walk up to a woman and she acts like she doesn't want me, then I persist with her in a charming way that conveys I know she really does want me, and she decides she finds me intriguing and starts to feel attraction, that was frames too.

If someone accuses me of something, and I accept the accusation and feel ashamed and bashfully apologize, that's frames.

Just the same, if someone accuses me of something, and I parry that accusation and making a convincing case that in fact I was in the right all along, and the other party backs down, well that too is frames.

Frames run as a constant undercurrent throughout all social interaction. If you've followed along with Alek Rolstad's latest series on frames, you know you can divide frames up into social and sexual, for instance. You know, from his series and our other pieces here on frame control, of various ways you can adjust, tweak, and impose your frames.

Good frame control consists of the expert interplay between known facts and offered explanations. If I saw someone grab my basketball and walk off the basketball court with it, and I believe he stole it and am about to alert the police officer standing nearby, you won't change my mind by insisting that I'm wrong and I didn't see it and that guy did not steal the basketball. However, you might change my mind by telling me he's a good guy and he only just took the basketball to reinflate it because it was low on air and getting flat, and that he'll be right back with it.

If you're telling the truth, you'll have saved a good Samaritan from a run-in with the police; if you're lying, you'll have allowed a thief to escape with my basketball. Either way, by pulling me into your frame, you have altered the course of events.

Frames won't always be as cut-and-dry as 'stealing or not stealing' either.

Many times what is being framed is something fuzzy:

• Are you the prize or is she?
• Is she interested in you or disinterested?
• Were you committing a faux pas or did she commit the faux pas (or no one did)?
• Whose views are more accurate: yours or hers? Or are both your views actually the same and she just did not realize it?

In the end, what determines how a great many things in your social life go is how good you are at framing: how expertly you frame, how well you tie the frames you establish to known facts and details, and how believably you convey your own belief in the frames you purport to hold.

Sexual frames are crucial to taking your courtships out of the platonic. Yet unlike social frames, they won’t set themselves. You must set them intentionally to see romance blossom.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

So far, we’ve learned what a frame was in my post, “What is a frame?” We discussed how frames are internal and external points of view in the way we interpret something.

Setting a frame in a social interaction becomes the art of affecting the way someone perceives:

• A discussion

• A phenomenon

• Its interlocutors (you) and their role with the contribution to the frame

We have previously discussed social frames, namely the social aspect of seduction.

Women have an internal social frame. It’s the way she sees herself in the social world. These aspects play key roles:

• Social identity

• Social expectations

• Value system

In her selection of mates, she is more likely to allow herself to be stimulated mentally and sexually (and hence hook up) with a mate that suits her social frame. These include her social identity (socio-economic and cultural background), value systems, and all the expectations that stem from them.

When a man sets a social frame incoherent with hers, resistance occurs. Most likely, she will hold herself back from getting carried away by your escalation (we call this female state control, or FSC).

When you’re about to let her go, yet she still hesitates, she may not be ready for things to end. Rather than end them there, you can extend your interactions… and go further.

You approached a girl on the beach, chatted, flirted, then took her contact info. Then, as you were about to depart, she looked at you, hair fluttering about her face in the wind, shy, hesitant, as if she wanted to say something, or was waiting for you to.

You approached a girl on the train, chatted, flirted, and took her contact info. As you arrived at her stop, three stops before yours, she seemed hesitant to leave, pausing, waiting, leaving dead space in the air as she stared into your eyes.

You approached a girl at a bar, chatter, flirted, moved her a bit, and took her contact info. As you prepared to return to your friends, she fell silent, gazing at you, as if wanting you to do something other than what you were.

You took a girl onto a date, connected with her, laughed with her, bounced her to the second venue you meant to bounce her to, and finally moved to wrap up the date. Yet as you told her you had a great time, she got quieter, told you that yeah, so did she, then lingered, not leaving, not turning away.

When you encounter situations like these, where you've made the approach or taken the girl onto the date, yet she hesitates at the end of it, waiting on you expectantly, surprising you (because you expected a nice simple cleave from the interaction here), what can you do?

The simplest answer is extend the interaction... and see if you can't go further.

Every man on Earth who ever pursues a woman uses some type of game. Yet not all kinds of game are equal. We review the five (5) types of game men use with women.

Every sort of approach men use to meet women is some type of game.

Not every type of game is as effective as others. And men using one type of game can vary in their skill level and effectiveness within that type of game by a lot.

No man is constrained to just one sort of game. Many readers on this website arrive having primarily used one type of game, yet switch to another after studying here.

Further, many men who may even be good at one kind of game at some point switch to another, either because that other type offers better consistency or greater convenience.

Today, we'll review five (5) major types of game, under which we can classify all approaches men make to bring new women into their lives. They are:

1. Hang Around Game
2. Crapshoot Game
3. Status-Based Game
4. Natural Game
5. Routine-Based Game

We'll start with the most basic form -- 'hang around' game -- first.

Do you learn seduction by following a teacher or method you trust? Or are you “piecing together” a patchwork style taken from bits and pieces adopted from here and there?

I've gotta be honest: I can be a little closed-minded, at least while in my learning phase.

When I first discovered the seduction community, I fished about looking for a method or teacher that really resonated with me. I rejected a lot of objectively good teachers and methods, because I didn't feel they gelled with me, until I found one that did.

Then I mostly just followed that one system for years, while also studying guys here and there whose stuff did not conflict with it.

At times I'd try to study other guys I thought aligned with it, found they didn't align, and ended up throwing out almost everything I got from them, even though it was objectively good. I went on bootcamps with guys whose methods were too different from the main one I studied, had some success on those bootcamps, then abandoned the things I'd learned on them after because they didn't gel.

Most of the guys I know who became very good with girls were like this. They were single-minded about following a certain instructor or method that gelled very well with them, or developed their own from scratch with a single-minded focus on what they were seeking to develop, and were and are without fault picky about whom they listened to or incorporated ideas from outside their sphere.

(I love exploring different skilled guys' methods. There's usually something you can learn from anyone. That said, there is a limited amount to what you can glean from someone with a sufficiently different approach to yours, if you are trying to keep things within your own approach consistent and functional)

Now... there is another learning style some guys employ. One that is the bane of seduction coaches everywhere. It is both very open-minded in some ways, and totally obstinate in others.

It is the teacher's bane, because it invariably leads to confused students who aren't getting their desired results, and don't know why they aren't getting those results, who try blaming the various teachers they have studied, the methods they have learned, even women themselves, despite not fully following those teachers' instruction or methods' approaches.

It is what we might call the patchwork style of learning.

We might also call the men who use it the patchwork seducers.

She has her own internal frame, and you would do well to reframe it, if it is in your interest to do so.

Hey guys, Welcome back!

Last week we looked at what a frame is and its importance in pick-up and seduction.

A frame is basically the same as a perspective - a lens through which you see and perceive the world. It stems from our own social constructions (i.e., internal frames – our sense of reality) and is deeply linked to our social identity.

Frames can be projected, becoming externalized. This happens when our internal frames are projected into the social space.

Since frames are socially constructed by default, they can also be deconstructed and reconstructed. This is key because it is the anvil upon which proper game is forged.

The interaction you have with someone has a frame – both you and the girl “convey” or “display” your own internal frames and contribute this way to the interaction. When your frames mesh, a new frame emerges.

Good pick-up skills involve being aware of your frames, her frames, and how to convey yours in a smooth way, reframing hers as negative (those that work against you at any rate) and so influence the new frame that emerges in the interaction between you and your interlocutors (for example the girl you're chatting with).