Emotions

I was recently browsing around the Internet reading articles women wrote advising other women on dating. Many of them had subjects along these lines:

• “We need to stop going for assholes”
• “It’s time for us to start dating better men”
• “When you meet a man who’s a dick, just PASS!”
  

Of course, the subtext there is all the same: we have to keep lecturing ourselves to stay away from these guys because we just CAN’T stay away from these guys... we can’t help ourselves!

Women are addicted to men who are “all wrong for them.”

Once their late twenties or early thirties or so, most women shift into talk about how they were foolish in their youths for passing up good guys or going after bad boys, but how they’re all over that now and that’s in the past.

Essentially, they reach an age where they stop treating nice guys like dish rags and instead start considering them for something more committed and long-term...

... yet, when they meet the sexy bad boy, they still make “bad decisions” with him anyway, even though they’re supposedly “reformed” and “past all that.”

The easiest way to think about all this to keep yourself from going crazy is this: if you really want to do well with a woman, be her guilty pleasure.

Sex is a fantastic thing – for both men and women. But unfortunately, many women find themselves dissatisfied with their sex lives for one reason or another. Sometimes they settle for a guy who doesn’t have very much value. Sometimes they can’t find a guy at all.

And sometimes…the sex is just too vanilla. The girl walks away lamenting the fact that the guy was unable to truly take control of the situation and give her an unforgettable experience.

And if there’s one secret I can share with you, it’s this: girls are always looking for that guy who will give them an unforgettable experience.

So how do you put yourself in the position to have wild sex with pretty girls? And what do you do once you get there? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

In terms of relationships, a topic that is often discussed is cheating. Men talk about the consequences of cheating, times that they were involved with a girl who was cheating on her boyfriend or husband, or methods of preventing their girl from cheating to begin with.

But a potential relationship-destroying force that is often overlooked in the rhetoric of men is the emotional affair.

Emotional affairs can be just as detrimental to your happiness and stability in a relationship as sexual ones can be.

So today I’m going to talk about the events and signs that often lead to an emotional affair and what you can do as a man to try to ensure that you don’t end up in this position.

Experiences shape every moment of your life. From the moment you are born, you adjust to things based on everything you’ve seen and everything you’ve done.

Such an important part of our lives – the way we interpret our surroundings – is not so well understood.

Hardly any attention is focused on figuring out how to define our realities, as such vexing questions have been asked by philosophers for years, only resulting in deeper and deeper riddles.

Understanding basic reality doesn’t have to be a difficult problem if you accept that you do, in fact, encounter experiences daily.

And, when you encounter these experiences, regardless of their origin, you understand that these experiences shape your entire reality, because they are the only tangible, measurable entity that you encounter on a daily basis.

If you believe that experiences shape and dictate your life, it makes sense that gaining knowledge about how this process works will further enhance your reality. In order to uncover the treasures that lay beneath, you must first break them down into simple, digestible components.

One of the things that’s bizarre for me to read among all many of the comments, emails, and forum posts from new guys just discovering Girls Chase or who’ve mostly just been reading occasionally but not putting into practice is the prevalence of the “this girl or this group or this environment is TREMENDOUSLY important and I can’t mess it up” mentality.

It’s been ages since I’ve had a mentality like that... but I can relate. I felt that way often in high school, and at times after in university. Once I dialed down my involvement with social circles and began approaching women, that feeling went away and never came back.

I was free.

At the same time, I led a more rewarding social life than just about anyone I knew – my hands full with pretty girls, and all the cool / admirable / successful male friends I could want.

Why would anybody leave themselves in such restrictive conditions that they felt like achieving one specific outcome with one tiny group of people was life or death?

We discussed this re: girls a guy might be obsessing over in “Can’t Stop Thinking About Her? Here’s Why You Need to Meet More Girls”... but it goes deeper than this, too; both with women, and with freedom in general.

We only have as much freedom as we allow ourselves, you see.

Since the dawn of time, men have made the fatal mistake of taking the words of women at face value. I can’t blame our kind, as we are logical beings who say what we mean and mean what we say.

But women…women are masters of subtlety. Subtlety and subtext are their hallmarks. And until you become well-versed in the language of the female, you can easily find yourself dumbfounded and in a storm of fury.

No treacherous territory should be treaded without a map. And no reasonable man should allow himself to be saddened, deluded, or maddened by his inability to understand what a girl actually means.

So today I’m going to lay out such a road map. I’m going to outline the common phrases you’ll hear from women in various contexts and what they really mean. I hope this will prevent you from being confused, frustrated, dumbfounded, or from having to ask yourself: what does she mean?

An assumption that a lot of men make when they first get into seduction is that they need to be something more than just a man to have sex with. They assess that women have nearly unlimited options for men to sleep with, and thus that they need to build more value and hold something “special” so women will want them and be attracted to them.

However, when men feel like they have nothing to offer a woman because she already has hundreds of other men clamoring to have sex with her, seduction becomes very difficult. Those men have nearly no sense of purpose guiding them towards becoming better with women, because in the end they just feel like they’re pulling sleight of hand to have sex with her.

This, in essence, is a very idealistic scenario, where inexperienced men assume that women just want sex and have so many options for it that any chance of them getting into the system is futile. So they try to build value in other ways – by being a friend or provider in lieu of the commonality of sex.

However, seduction is a venereal experience. How one experiences sex determines its value. When men have been removed from this experience, it becomes very easy for them to forget that sex is about much more than the physical act. It’s about the experience that sex entails that brings about great value to a man who is able to give the best of experiences.