Emotions | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

9 Ways to Answer “What Do You Do” Without Saying What You Do

Answer 'What Do You Do' Without Saying What You Do
To avoid boring people out when they ask a question like “What do you do?” try answering the question without really answering it.

Learning the nuances of the most basic social norms is something most people don’t give much thought to.

In college, I remember spending a lot of time contemplating how to respond to that weird “Hey, how are you?” exchange that happens when you pass someone you know. Most of the time, they say “Good, how are you?” and don’t even listen as they walk past. Responding with “Good, thanks” is a necessary but useless response.

How do you make those interactions more interesting and less awkward?

I took the time to figure that out, and it helped a lot.

The same goes for the question, “What do you do?”

If you approach a lot of girls – which you should if you want to get dates, sex, and girlfriends – then you’re going to hear “What do you do?” a lot.

It will also come in other forms.

“What do you do for work?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you work?”

Your answer won’t change much, regardless. As long as you understand the basic root of what they’re asking, answering is simple.

So, what’s going on when someone asks “What do you do?” and how do you respond to it in a way that makes you interesting and cool?

Here are nine ways to do it without giving the typical, boring answer of what you actually do.

First, let’s go over why it’s boring to tell girls what you do – most of the time.

Women Are Emotional (But Not Irrational) – The Method Behind the Madness

Women Are Emotional But Not Irrational
Think women are crazy? If so, it’s probably because you’ve dated one. Fact is, beneath their seemingly emotional disarray, you’ll find a high level of rationality.

Men like to complain about how emotional and irrational women are. We even hear many of those claims in the seduction community and its neighboring communities – e.g., the Manosphere, the Red Pill community, etc.

“Women are feelz before realz.”

“Chick logic.”

Some of these guys even brand women children who are incapable of making adult decisions based on logic and reason. Here at Girls Chase, we know better.

Women are emotional, but not irrational. In fact, they are far more rational than you can imagine – when it comes to what’s important.

Put another way, women are guided by their emotions, but that doesn’t lead them to make as many stupid decisions as you might think. That’s the real accusation behind men calling women “irrational,” isn’t it? That they are less capable of making sound decisions?

Let’s be clear – there is some truth to the claim that women are less rational than men. Men are the leaders of our species, better equipped to make hard decisions like where to eat dinner or how to defeat an army. But when it comes to sexual selection, women are vastly more competent than men. That’s why 80% of women in history have reproduced, whereas for men, that figure is below 40%.

The emotion-based behavior of women leads them to be vastly more successful at sexual selection than men, which makes them highly rational, since sexual selection is one of the most important decisions – perhaps the most important – that any human can make.

Thus, I would argue that women are not irrational. They’re simply designed for different purposes than men and perform their purpose well because of their emotional nature.

Texting Fundamentals: How to Use Emojis with Girls

texting emotion with emojis
We all know that communicating emotion is a critical element in attracting women. But how does one make her “feel” in the 2-dimensional world of texting?

Texting fundamentals – I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while now.

Texting has many layers we can explore in a scholastic fashion. This will be a nerdy article for some, but it needs to be technical, or the advice won’t be as helpful as it could be.

Let’s start with emojis.

To understand how and why emojis work, let’s go through a few basic concepts of text game.

The Myth of "The One": Is There Really Just One Person Out There for You?

only one the one
The myth of only one The One out there for you comes from hormones and Hollywood. The truth is, there is more than one soul mate for you.

In my article on how women express interest, Bruhaha asked:

"Hey Chase, of recent I was in a heated debate with a religious friend of mine. He holds the view that there is only one girl for every guy in this world and vice versa. I argued that if that were the case, then every widower that remarries is doing a great injustice to the rest of his fellows. This is b'se he would be encroaching on other people's ones. And that the church should actually publicly denounce the holding of such ceremonies in order to be considerate to the rest of the population so that they can have a perfect shot at their ones also. That's when it struck me that you have never actually covered this issue before. I hope sometime to come, when you feel like it, it would really be cool to have your perspective on this issue. I would suggest you entitle it "Debunking the myth of the One", if you don't mind of course. Carpet diem!"

And he's right, I haven't addressed it on here, at least not in article form. I've discussed it a bit in comments over the years... but no standalone article on the subject.

So let's get one up.

Three things we should talk about with 'soul mates' and 'The One':

  1. Are there people you match better with than others?
  2. Is there only one truly perfect match?
  3. Are soul mates drawn toward each other?

All are interesting questions. We'll explore all today.

Instinct-Based Game, Pt 2: How to Develop Intuition and Gut Instinct

develop intuition and gut instinct
Naturals are so good with women because of their strong empathic sense and ability to trust their gut. The good news is that these traits can be cultivated.

This article is long overdue. I’ve never posted a follow-up to my article on intuition and trusting your gut instinct, but a reader recently commented on one of the articles in my Harem series asking about it.

It’s a long time in the making for me because, even now, I feel like my intuition is still being developed. By and large, intuition is confirmed through experience.

Your life experiences teach you the lessons that support your intuition. It’s a long-term learning process, where time will tell – and define your experience. 

Connecting with your intuition requires a combination of experience and training yourself to see the big picture. For me, it’s been about learning to recognize patterns and see how they fit in with each other. It’s important for me to understand the patterns behind things because history always repeats itself. Once you learn to see the signs of a certain pattern intuitively, you know exactly what to do to deal with it.

Your intuition signals to you when you see a certain pattern emerging. Your intuition and instinct also follow a biological prerogative – to get you to have sex with the most suitable mate. Connect these two with real-life game, and you can be a natural ladies’ man with ease. So, let’s look at what it takes to achieve this.

How to Be a Confident Man (with the Kind of Confidence Women Like)

how to be a confident manEvery man who isn't it yet wants to know how to be a confident man.

Men build lives around confidence. They want to find it, get it, hold onto it.

They want to be around people who already have it. They want others to recognize them as in possession of it themselves.

There are different kinds of confidence. There are:

  • Men who are confident they can excel at school/work

  • Men who are confident they can win fist fights

  • Men who are confident they can sing a song well

  • Men who are confident in how they walk, talk, or dress

Each kind of confidence is a different confidence. Each is good. Having one does not mean you have the rest. If you're confident you can win a spelling bee that does not mean you are also confident you can survive being stranded in the desert. These are two different kinds of confidence.

One kind of confidence stems from a key belief every man successful with women holds.

Women call this belief 'confidence', and refer to men who have it as 'confident men'.

Yet at its heart it is a belief. One key belief.

The belief underlies a man's actions with women. You can see it in his reactions to what women say and do. The belief emanates from him when he discusses women. It drives all his decisions regarding them.

No man enters the world with this belief. And you can't so much teach it as progress toward it.

As with any belief, it is acquired gradually, with experience. Sometimes that experience is conscious; sometimes not.

Once a man has this belief, it is tremendously helpful in a great many regards. It gives him wings with women; it allows him to achieve things men who lack the belief (confidence) cannot. It makes him a mystery to other men around him: they see him pull off things with women they cannot understand. Women behave in ways around him others think women don't or shouldn't behave. The belief-holding man violates everything other people think they know about how women interact with people and men.

Different men have different degrees of this key underlying belief. Highly confident men have it a lot; lesser confident men have it a bit. Whether a man claims to hold the belief or not is not the key to his confidence. It is what the man believes, deep down, in that core place inside himself, that determines how the belief manifests itself outside, actively, as a confident man in the world with real women.

If a man has this true confidence, from this one key belief, you can see it. Women can see it too -- and women respond to it.

When You Concede, Don't Pander or Break

don't pander or break
You can't win every fight. But how you handle the situations where you must back down a bit determines how those you're in the fight with treat you.

Jimbo commented in my article on meeting girls while staying safe in a paranoid dating society, asking me to review a recent, controversial article on the Washington Post. The article was titled "Thanks for not raping us, all you 'good men.' But it's not enough."

The article itself is a screed against the male sex, both the 'bad men' who aren't conciliatory and inclusive enough toward women, and the 'good men' who are, but who lack the spine to put the bad men in their place and don't in any event ever really change things to make the world a sufficiently female-inclusive one.

I don't want to comment much on the argument itself... I don't think I need to, given our audience. The positions and arguments are nonsensical; the beliefs hyperbolic. The vast majority of commentators in the comment section of the article take the author to task for her abusiveness toward her cowed, yoked husband.

And I'll comment only briefly on the dynamic. It looks like the dynamic you get in a long-term relationship with a strong-willed, opinionated woman, and a quiet, acquiescent man. The woman becomes increasingly emboldened, abusive, and sometimes vampiric over time. The man, with his quiet acceptance of her behavior, serves as her enabler and as a source of narcissistic supply. You can have this dynamic with the sexes reversed too: domineering husband, codependent/enabling wife, or domineering wife, codependent/enabling husband. It's an unhealthy dynamic for both parties, and it's created by both parties. A domineering partner cannot domineer without the retreat and acquiescence of the codependent one. You're only seeing one blowup fight in this article... but in my experience looking at the woman's writing style, how she frames the fight, and her pride in putting it out there and expecting to be patted on the back for her righteousness (rather than ashamed at this uncharacteristic explosion, which is how most women are when they do something nasty that is truly out of character), all that fits the pattern of a domineering partner enabled to the point of delusions of grandeur ("Fighting the good fight -- for all womankind!") by her codependent.

That out of the way, what I'd actually like to focus on in this article is the husband's reaction. Because there's a telling passage in the article about how this fight went:

"My husband of 50 years did not have to stifle a laugh. He took it dead seriously. He did not defend his remark, he did not defend men. He sat, hunched and hurt, and he listened. For a moment, it occurred to me to be grateful that I’m married to a man who will listen to a woman. The winds calmed ever so slightly in that moment. And then the storm surge welled up in me as I realized the pathetic impotence of nice men’s plan to rebuild the wreckage by listening to women. As my rage rushed through the streets of my mind, toppling every memory of every good thing my husband has ever done (and there are scores of memories), I said the meanest thing I’ve ever said to him: Don’t you dare sit there and sympathetically promise to change. Don’t say you will stop yourself before you blurt out some impatient, annoyed, controlling remark. No, I said, you can’t change. You are unable to change. You don’t have the skills and you won’t do it. You, I said, are one of the good men. You respect women, you believe in women, you like women, you don’t hit women or rape women or in any way abuse women. You have applauded and funded feminism for a half-century. You are one of the good men. And you cannot change. You can listen all you want, but that will not create one iota of change."

This fight could've been over in three minutes instead of 30, the screed avoided, and this clusterbomb of an article the author wrote never written, had the husband done the one thing his wife and I both agree he failed to do:

Grow a pair of balls, straighten his spine out, and stand up for something for once.

The only thing his wife and I disagree with is what he must stand up on -- but as we'll see in just a minute, even then, we don't really disagree.

People as Their Alignments: Evil, Neutral, and Good

moral alignnment
We each fall somewhere on the 9-sided moral alignment die. Lawful Good, Chaotic Neutral, Neutral Evil… where do you fall, and how does it impact things?

This should be a fun article. Or even an insightful one... depends how much you like personality tests.

... but most of us like personality tests, don't we?

And this one's a fairly useful one, as far as personality tests go.

A recent study discovered six 'dark' traits (egoism, narcissism, Machiavellianism, sadism, psychopathy, and spitefulness) all stem from the same underlying 'dark core'... something the researchers dubbed 'the Dark Factor of Personality'. The result is that if you have one dark trait, you are likely to have others -- because they all come from that same dark center.

Over the last few years I've thought a lot about dark and light. I discussed the phenomenon of younger 'dark' guys who reform when older in "The Civilized Man." I talked about the choice between goodness and wickedness in "The Good King." And I went in-depth on some of the research into the 'light side' of personality in "Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity." And of course, aside from these, we've always urged you to do right by women and other people, and avoid bitterness yourself... as much for your own sake as for others'.

The seduction space can serve as a magnet for dark characters... even if most of the men in it are neutral- or light-oriented. The dark characters rarely reach levels of prominence within the community -- whether it's more because their methods repel the non-dark men too much, or they just don't care to help/teach other men enough to carve out a niche, I couldn't say. But there are guys like this who become instructors, or rise to this or that level of prominence within seduction communities... sometimes concealing their dark side, sometimes wearing it on their sleeves.

One of the reasons I won't teach 'dark side tech' -- things like reverse supplication, sexual power reversal, one-sided monogamy, taming/dependency, or the infamous October Man sequence --is the existence of 'dark-side' guys within the community (all the non-dark guys who'd cause damage purely by accident are the other part of the reason). If everyone was light-side, we could perhaps talk about this stuff and trust most guys to use it responsibly... but not everyone is, so this stuff stays tucked away under lock and key.

Why do people have these different dispositions? How different are the dispositions anyway -- are people just a little different from one another, or are the differences BIG? And how do these differences come about in the first place?

By pure chance, one day I came across a Dungeons & Dragons 'alignment test'. The test allowed you to sniff out where on the 'alignment scale' you fall... good or evil? Lawful, neutral, or chaotic?

I thought it would be a fun thing to play with. But in fact, it's turned out to be accurate for real people I've used it with, to quite a surprising degree.

How to Create a Loving Vibe That Attracts Women

attract women with love
Your state of mind creates a vibe that can attract or repel women. Use these tips to develop an aura of love that attracts women like bears to honey.

Many years ago, I was on Vacation, visiting a friend from the PUA community. He lived in a small town in Northern Canada with a surprisingly big nightlife. After a long evening at the bar, he asked if I wanted to go to an after party. Of course I did.

“Here, take one of these,” he said, handing the group a bag of white pills.

“What is it?” I asked.

“MDMA.”

I’d only tried MDMA once, and it was a crazy adventure. So I decided to give it one more shot. I popped the pill and we headed out to the party.

MDMA basically turns your dopamine up from zero to twelve, and as our group walked to the party, we all started giggling like school girls. By the time we got there, we were tripping hard. I felt this incredible joy and love for everyone and everything.

I sat down beside this pretty girl, and in about ten seconds, we were making out. I don’t remember what I said, but I felt an intense attraction, mixed with incredible vulnerability. It wasn’t my words that seduced her, but my vibe.

The problem with drugs and alcohol is that they come at a cost. Alcohol causes hangovers that wreck your day. Drugs like MDMA are the same – you get an emotional hangover. What goes up must come down. I don’t advocate using hard drugs, and I haven’t touched them since. But I did learn something powerful that night: that whatever you feel, she feels.

Use Meditation and Self-Hypnosis to Improve Your Dating Game

hypnosis and meditation to improve game
Our brains are super good at talking us out of doing stuff, even good stuff. Here’s how to switch roles and talk your brain into shutting up and getting laid.

We’ve all been there. You see that sexy creature and you want to approach her, but that little voice starts chirping, “All these people will see you. You don't want to come off as creepy, do you? You can try again tomorrow when you're in a better state. She’s on her phone, you don’t want to be annoying. Yeah, let’s try later.”

Excuses, justifications, and avoidance. The more you think, the less you do. The less you do, the more you think. It’s frustrating. It feels like you’re a broken man, especially after watching all those infield vids on YouTube and reading all those Girls Chase articles that make it sound like common sense, like it’s so easy. But it’s not, is it?

When guys ask me what I think about when I approach, I tell them “Nothing.” And it’s true. I try to do all my approaches and everything that happens after as close to “the moment” as possible. And I’m pretty successful at it. But I wasn’t always so awesome.

The first time I went to a bar alone for the sole purpose of pickup – 11 years ago – I completely froze. I was in a room full of sexy women, completely packed, shoulder to shoulder. The longer I stood there, the deeper I went into my head. The excuses just piled on top of each other.

  • “Everyone is here with someone, except me.”

  • “They all know each other, and I don’t know anyone.”

  • “They’re all looking at me.”

  • “They know I’m alone – and terrified.”

Blah, blah, blah, excuses, fear, etc.

And even worse, I’d spent all night memorizing pickup routines. But as soon as that adrenaline spiked, approach anxiety overwhelmed me, and I either forgot all of them or convinced myself that I had because I was too terrified to try.

It’s amazing how great your ego is at talking you out of improving your life. It makes you think that by approaching women, you’re going to somehow die – a social death at least.

That summer night, I pedaled home through the humid Montreal streets on my bike, and I told myself, “Never again will I go out and not at least try.” But things didn’t really get better until I met a guy named Steve Piccus at a local seduction lair meeting, who claimed to be a master hypnotist. He was famous for being featured in the book The Game.

Steve showed us a simple meditation meant to clear our minds of chatter. He called it “silence the tongue”, the tongue being the voice that goes “Blah, blah, blah,” keeping us from achieving our goals. That short lesson, delivered to a room full of lonely, horny men, changed my life.