Emotions | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

How Much Should You Care About the Opinions of Others

care about the opinions of others
How much should you care what others think? Everyone cares at least a little. The key is that the reactions of others can tell you what to modify in yourself.

I’ve always seen the opinions of others as a paradox.

We’ve all heard people say they don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

Well, that’s sort of impossible. If you didn’t care what people thought of you, you would never take time to cater your reputation or really even talk to people in general, since their opinion of you is a non-issue.

Obviously the spirit of this mantra of “no fucks given” is meant to combat the neuroticism that leads to the criticism or hate of others keeping you from pursuing what you want to pursue, but there is something to be said about learning from criticism.

Criticism, and even hate, can highlight possible areas of improvement, especially in regards to how you communicate your thoughts and ideas, either verbally or non-verbally.

In other words, if someone dislikes what you say or do, many times it’s how you come off doing it, not necessarily what you actually did.

And if we completely ignore the criticisms of others, we are missing out on possible improvements, no?

For instance, the advice of a mentor or teacher is criticism, but it comes from a place of compassion. He wants you to see how he sees your flaws, because he wants you to fix them, since it’s your desire to become better.

11 Mindsets and Mentalities Master Pick Up Artists Use (and 3 They Avoid)

pickup artist mindset
Successful pick up artists treat their outings very differently from how most men do. This includes mindsets on rejection, ‘the zone’, panning for gold, and more.

Beliefs have a strange way of becoming truth.

Ever since I started on my journey of seduction mastery, I was told time and again that if I could only think how successful guys thought, I would get the same results. Well, I’ve come to find there is a lot of truth in this. So today I want to teach you a few of those essential mindsets that make a man phenomenal at getting new women.

Many of the thoughts going through your head that are counterproductive to success with women will not change from practice in the field. I have seen too many guys go out night after night simply to reinforce the thoughts that make their nights go south. And of course they can’t recognize the ill effects and negative feedback loops.

We’ve all heard self-help gurus talk about self-fulfilling prophecies: whatever you believe will happen will happen, causing your perception of how the world works to be reinforced. So when it comes to changing your thoughts, know that a lot of the work is going to come during your quiet time when you can sit down and visualize a night when you use the incredible tools I am about to give you.

Are You a Unique, Special Individual? You're Probably Missing the Basics

unique special
Sometimes you don’t want to follow the instructions. The instructions are for other folks, not you! But if you still aren’t getting results, maybe it’s time to change things up.

Over the years, we’ve seen myriad guys come and go who struggle with a specific problem. These guys are among the most frustrated folks we see at Girls Chase. Not only are they frustrated themselves, but they frustrate everyone who tries to help them, too.

You see, what they want is a magic pill. They want you to tell them how to do everything you teach guys how to do – only they want you to teach them to do it faster and easier than how you teach all those other guys how to do it.

It doesn’t matter how fast the method you’re teaching is. It could take two weeks to work; they’d still want to know how to do it in four days. When you finally persuade them to put the work in, they take a couple of half-hearted shots at it, all their dreams don’t instantly come true, and they give up. It’s too hard, they’re too unmotivated they say. Then they want you to motivate them. Or, even better, give them some kind of shortcut you haven’t told them about before.

We’ve seen it a lot on the discussion boards. Some of the guys we banned in 2017 were long-time members who kept asking for magic pills, chafing at the suggestion when other members suggested they start with the basics, then whined about how hard it was and how unfair their situations were.

And I wondered to myself: “What the heck is these guys’ problems? Why can’t they just do the work and quit whining about it? Why do they ask for magic pills over and over and over again? They’ve GOT all my stuff – and all everybody else’s stuff – right here on the darn site!”

Sure, there’s a lot of material here, and it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we have the quiz and our programs, though. Both of those are condensed information that takes you through a guided process. There’s also the newbie assignment on the boards, which only takes 14 days and a little courage to do. We have paths for guys who are new and want to start getting results. But some guys don’t take them – then not only don’t they follow the paths we’ve laid out for them, but they continue to complain about not getting results anyway. What’s going on with people like this?

Well, as it turns out, a piece of scientific research fresh off the presses (published at the end of December) has figured out what’s going on with people who do this.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to be Mindful (and Learn 10x Faster)

how to be mindful
When you set out to form new habits and self-improve, a big part of this is how to remember to make these adjustments in the first place.

Reader Kalyan writes in with a question about learning fundamentals:

hey, i just noticed that your website lacks a very important article (or maybe i dont know of it. if thats the case please send me link(s)). i know fundamentals are important. and everyone knows eye contact is important for example.. but i find it very hard to consistently remember to consciously focus on eye contact... i feel because of that, mastering individual fundamentals like that is much slower. so, an article about how to learn or focus on fundamentals would be helpful. i know its a good idea to work on one aspect at a time, but how could you actually remember to work on even one thing when youre out and talking to women?

It’s an interesting question, and in fact is one more concerned with mindfulness – the act of attunement to what is occurring both around you and within your head in the present moment – than the pure raw process of learning fundamentals.

The process of learning fundamentals themselves is straightforward:

  1. Pick a fundamental to work on, be that eye contact, posture, vocal intonation, or another

  2. Decide what to alter or improve in this fundamental

  3. Make that alteration/improvement over and over across the next 30-90 days

  4. Every time you notice yourself not doing it the way you want to do it, correct yourself

  5. After 1-3 months (and many hundreds of internal reminders) have passed, it’s now automatic

This process can transform you into a man with impeccable, powerful body language, mannerisms, and behavior in a relatively short time (six months to a year for really complete change; though you’ll start to see the effects of this exercise as soon as you begin work on it).

Yet you must remember to remind yourself to adopt these better fundamentals to change them.

What if you can simply never remember to do it?

The New Spot Bonus: Novelty in Your Meet Markets

meet market
When you first go somewhere new, it can seem like the best meet market you’ve found. Cute girls everywhere. But is this effect real or illusion?

Remember when you first moved to town? Beautiful girls everywhere. Your new location was a visual feast: women with great bodies in sexy clothes. Gorgeous faces and stunning hair. So much choice with women you didn’t know which girl to pick.

Or remember when you found that venue you’ve been to so many times now? That bar or nightclub you’ve been to 20 times. That shopping street or mall you visit every weekend. Remember how it was when you first went – how much your head spun as girl after hot girl walked by?

Compare that to today. There aren’t nearly as many beautiful girls. The women in your town seem to have grown older, heavier, and less cute. Those venues you frequent have dropped off in quality and beautiful girls are no longer in the abundance they once were.

Then, one day, you visit somewhere new.

It might be a new city, town, or suburb. It might be a new venue in your own area you haven’t visited before.

And when you get there, you’re amazed. There are beautiful girls everywhere! Your head spins as girl after hot girl walks by.

You’ve found a new favorite place – your new girl mecca.

But have you really? Or are you merely subject to the ‘new spot bonus’?

How to Demand Respect, Pt 2: The 3 Myths of Pride

myth of pride
There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.

People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.

Why?

Simple.

If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.

Moral policing is about power and nothing else.

The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiorityis to call someone prideful.

The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.

Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.

But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.

And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.

That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?

Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.

This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.

The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.

I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.

Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

going out hot streak
As you go out to talk to girls, you will come into hot streaks… and stumble into cold ones. This article is about why that happens.

I have on multiple occasions written about momentum as it relates to seduction. It’s one of those underlying mechanisms that profoundly affects your vibe, mindset, and results with women.

Today I will focus on some pickup theory that will help you make sense of the “unlearning mechanism” that takes place in your journey. I’ll discuss why many can experience some negative momentum after a positive streak. In fact, I will explore how there is an equilibrium effect at work that balances things out.

Momentum is the overall state of mind in which you find yourself during a period of time that snowballs and affects your results moving forward. Positive momentum denotes a good state of mind, which in turn, results in a sexier vibe. You get onto a hot streak. Negative momentum, however, generates a negative state of mind, giving you an unsexy vibe. You slide into a cold streak.

Momentum can snowball in a positive or a negative direction. For instance, if you approach three girls and they all seem receptive to you, positive momentum is created and your vibe becomes sexier and more attractive. If you get rejected harshly three times in a row, the momentum works the opposite way.

The example above is a case of what I have referred to as micro momentum. It’s the momentum that affects you on a micro level – during a night out, for example.

Macro momentum, on the other hand, takes into account the bigger picture – the overall momentum over a longer period of time. For instance, some of you may have noticed how summer holidays tend to be more wild. You may rack up lays during the summer, feeling like a true god of seduction. Things may even start to seem too easy and straight forward. And you feel this way until you experience some disruption in macro momentum. Let’s say that during the winter you may, for whatever reason, have less success with women or find it very difficult to meet new women. You then develop a case of negative macro momentum.

Your Desires Are an Unmatched Tool to Motivate and Seduce

desire in seduction
Desire – your real desire – is a deep motivating force, and immensely attractive to the opposite sex. Tap into it and use it well, and you can do the near-impossible.

I received some very positive feedback from my article on the Interest-Preference-Desire model. If you haven’t read that, I suggest going back and taking a peek, because as a follow-up on that model, today I’m going to dive deeper into what “desire” is and how it affects our lives.

Desire is not only applicable to the process of seduction and attracting women, it plays a key role in the pursuit of our goals and how we live – specifically, the choices we make.

In the last article, I concluded that among the concepts of interest, preference, and desire, desire is the ultimate tool that actually results in committed action. There’s greater nuance when it comes to desire, because desire itself can be more fluctuating and relative. Some people never experience a constant desire for something long term, while others desire an outcome so badly that they continue to chase the desire even after it’s already been fulfilled multiple times.

What gives?

I’ll break this down in a hopefully easy-to-digest form, but do keep in mind that there is a lot of psychology and philosophy involved when it comes to desire.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Show Vulnerabilities

how to show vulnerability
Vulnerabilities can be powerful things to show the woman in your life. Yet you must show the right kind of vulnerabilities – and at the right times.

Men should be strong. They should develop a resilience to pain and suffering. This keeps your head up when facing resistance in any endeavor. It’s also very attractive to women. Women like strong men.

But women also like a man who is hard to figure out – a man who has layers.

Strength pulls her in, but what addicts a woman is vulnerability.

However, you need to show the right type of vulnerability, and at the right time. As a lover once told me, you can sometimes be the right guy at the wrong time. Choose the wrong time to be vulnerable or show the wrong type of vulnerability, and she will run for the hills, as you will have shown yourself to be a weak man rather than a strong man with flaws.

The Problem with Gaming Girls You Don't Like

girls you don't like
It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.