Emotions | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

How to Get Out of Bad Momentum in Meeting New Women

Alek Rolstad's picture
bad momentum picking up girlsWhen your momentum meeting girls is lacking, your motivation will be down, and your effectiveness won’t be as high. How do you get out of that and back to high momentum again?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

This post is about getting back in shape and re-establishing high momentum meeting girls. But this post may also be useful to new players who are starting out and need a plan to proceed on their journey. This post is suited for players of all levels: beginners and pros alike. Yes, pros too! Since they also experience bad momentum at times.

Last time, we discussed the subject of low momentum. Many of you are experiencing low momentum, or rustiness, as a result of the pandemic. You may feel a bit down, a feeling that you have lost your mojo and that your “glory days” have passed. This is typical low momentum thinking, and it can be frustrating. However, we all experience low momentum at times. You can say the same about high momentum — when you feel like a living sex god and have “that vibe” that just sucks women in.

It is a pendulum effect. Sometimes you will be on the side of bad momentum; sometimes you will have good momentum.

It happens to us all: normal people and pro-seducers. It happens to me; it happens to you.

Low momentum can be frustrating, and many start feeling like “this is it” and give up. Last week’s post was motivational. We gave you reasons for not getting carried away by negative momentum and why you should put yourself together, work harder, and get out of that bad spot. It’s the period of low momentum when you learn the most and grow as a seducer.

After reading this post, you’ll see why.

You need to break down your game, focus on fundamentals, reinforce them, and fix all underlying issues.

Then you will grow stronger.

Today’s post is a step-by-step guide on how to swing back into high momentum.

Acceptance of Reality Is Necessary for Success

Chase Amante's picture
reality successThe reality of dating, romance, and female nature doesn’t always match up with the ideas you held before. But if you can accept it, you can begin to craft the life you want.

The other day I wrote an article on female bad behavior generally being rooted in skittishness, rather than outright sociopathy. I didn't pass judgment on this behavior... I did not say whether it was good or bad, justifiable or not. I simply explained it.

The response from some of the readers was resentment. It is unconscionable that women could fear these things from them, and clearly a sign a woman is a bad person if she reacts in any kind of way toward the man that the man objects to.

Here's one such response from a reader named Xander:

Article says that women is rude, disrespectful, i.e. generally bad, it is because she is afraid, insecure etc. and not because she is bad person. BUT that is exactly what makes someone bad person. I am pretty sure that good persons including women would be more understanding and empathic in order to overcome these problems. You see, there is always that claim that women shouldn’t be objectified but that is how they behave, and this article supports them. They are completely passive, do nothing besides signaling with bad behavior when they don’t like something. You see how selfish this is. And these persons surpassingly shouldn’t be considered as bad. Unless she is seriously threatened by some guy, nothing gives her right to treat him bad especially because it is not his fault why she doesn’t like him not is his fault because she is insecure, afraid etc.. That is her personality and how she deals with it shows what kind of person is she.

You can see what Xander is doing here; he isn't arguing about the reality of the article's perspective. He's simply passing moral judgment on the majority of womankind. Women, Xander says, because they sometimes reject men, are for the most part bad people.

This "me good; others bad" thinking is a normal human way to consider things. However, it stands in the way of success in your endeavors -- if, that is, success is what you're after.

Don't Hate the Player. And Don't Hate the Game

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

don't hate the gameIt’s normal to feel frustrated when you don’t get what you want. But rather than let yourself hate “the game”… why not just get good at the game instead?

On my article about your opinions about women betraying your success (or lack thereof) with women, a reader comments:

When it comes to bitterness it's usually not towards women as a whole. Sure some of the negative qualities of women can irritate me like not being consistent with their emotions/feelings/thoughts and their obliviousness in general. But I still have love for women and I always remind myself of this.

My bitterness is more directed towards the game and the dynamics of the sexual marketplace where women are buyers and men are sellers and to get attractive quality women men have to do a lot of work and grinding just to increase the probabilities of getting them. In addition to that they gotta deal with the bs society throws at them with their man shaming,masculinity draining tactics,"empowerment" of women which makes it harder for men to play their role as the aggressor,and makes women even more difficult to have as a ltr. Even if you become a high value man with good fundamentals you never ever really stop becoming a seller you just have a better product,but you still have to go around and market it and hope women like what you have to offer. You've probably heard the peasant/begger analogy before do you believe it's a bad comparison? I don't feel like a begger when I cold approach,but it's still not efficient. Even when you're good there will always be assymetric returns.

Personally I know I need to get better and I still approach women occasionally. Although when I do I fight a lot of internal resistance and always have this attitude of "sigh I need to go approach women because I don't currently have any and I need to be smooth and perfect as I do it or I will just get flaky numbers at best.

Coaches say that you need to enjoy the process and have fun with learning seduction and treat it like a game,but how do you have fun with it? How do you have fun with doing something you suck at doing,can be unpleasant and difficult at times and don't know when or it will payoff?

You could be turning your wheels for nothing and put all that effort only to end up having to settle for average looking women who don't fufill you.

It's a good comment. "I don't dislike women, but I do dislike the game," we might sum our reader's comment up as.

Of course, most everyone who's successful at anything learns to enjoy it.

I think we all know naturally that guys who have fun meeting girls tend to do a lot better at it than guys who do not.

The challenge is, before you're getting great results, how can doing this thing, which is nerve-wracking, that exposes you to rejection, that often sucks up time before producing any results, be enjoyable?

What Is a Frame?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

frames: definitionFrames are one of the key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. But what exactly are they?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Today I’d like to discuss theory and cover frames. Frame control, framing, and frames are key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. If I had to keep only one tool in my arsenal, I would keep frame control – there, I said it. I wrote a detailed guide on frame control, but I’ve never dedicated a post to explaining what a frame actually is and what our community means by that word. All this site’s contributors and those on other sites will use terms like frames. And yet, I haven’t seen it explained thoroughly. I hope this post will rectify this.

This post is suited for both advanced guys and beginners. First, I’ll cover the straightforward basics about frames and what they are. The second part is rather advanced and quite theoretical. (If you’re a theory junkie, you’ll love it).

If you came here merely to get a definition of frames, you’ll only need to read the first half.

Still, it’s important to make this post understandable to newer guys, and I hope it will clear up misunderstandings you may have. Finally, we’ll have frames covered comprehensively once and for all.

On Unilateral Responses to Unilateral Actions

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unilateral responsesWhen people make unilateral actions against you, you must respond unilaterally in turn. Yet there’s a big difference between desperate unilateral responses and strategic ones.

I saw an article a month back about a father-of-three who set his wife on fire, killing her. It was, obviously, horrible. He did it right in front of their kids, too.

You look through the article and there are a bunch of pictures of the husband and wife, looking like two totally normal people, perfectly happy together. The husband looks like a bit of a nice guy, and the wife is always doing this weird shrug with her shoulders and kind of leaning away from the guy, but she's smiling, and it's a genuine smile. They look like a very typical, average, regular couple.

Then you read about the chain of events that led up to this guy going psycho on the wife.

His Australian wife kicked him out, presumably after they'd had a ton of fights. She then filed a restraining order against him, and started the divorce process. He, as an American citizen, believed he'd get deported from Australia, and presumably be cut out of his children's lives. His business was in Australia too (I don't know why he couldn't just get a business visa, but maybe he couldn't, or he was too upset to think of that).

The neighbors said they never heard the couple fighting, and the guy was always friendly, loved to talk, but was also "obviously distressed" when he was in the process of being kicked out.

If you read the article about this, it's clear the guy just went deeper and deeper into a depression spiral after his wife kicked him out. She began making accusations against him, too. Finally he snapped and went back and set her alight.

This article will be about a very important topic: that when people take unilateral action against you, as the wife was against the husband here, you also must respond in turn with unilateral action of your own.

However, you need to understand this, and approach it strategically, with appropriate moves and strategic timing -- well in advance of the point where you snap, and resort to desperate, destructive/self-destructive unilateral action, of the sort people turn to when they feel they have no way out.

3 Kinds of Introverted Seducers

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

introverted guysIntroverted guys don't need to become extroverted to achieve consistent success with beautiful women.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Room Transitions, the Doorway Effect, and Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

room transitionsTake a girl into another room, and her emotions and memories change. But are these room transitions good for your seduction… or are they harmful to it?

Here's a tactic shockingly simple that a surprising number of men don't seem to have in their tactical repertoires: room transitions.

That is to say, when you need a shift in how things are going with a girl, particularly once you've established a certain pattern in the room you are in, it's much more natural to do that following a switch to a different room.

Sounds simple, but if you've ever found yourself trapped on a couch with a girl you brought home, having a deep conversation where you've waited too long to kiss and now it would feel awkward, a room transition can save you.

Further, if you bring a girl to your place for a date, and she isn't ready to go to bed right away so you need to take her through the courtship in the apartment, often it is going to be much easier to jump from courting to seducing following a room transition.

There's a downside to room transitions too: if you've ever had an amazing connection going with a girl somewhere, then stepped outside with her and it was like the connection completely evaporated and she left... or if you had a girl at your place totally ready to get intimate with you, but you decided to move her to the bedroom to get more comfortable, only the moment you set foot in the bedroom with her it was like a switch flipped and she decided she needed to go, you've run into the ugly side of room transitions.

Knowing how these transitions work allow you to switch things up when things are stuck or aren't going well, and avoid ruining a good thing when things are smooth.

What makes the room transition work as a seduction tactic is a little-known psychological principle known as 'The Doorway Effect'.

Removing Fear Through Good Practice (Rejection Part 1)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

removing fearMen are afraid of rejection. But there are ways to optimize yourself to rarely encounter it.

Editor's note: this is Part 1 of Alek's 2-part series on fear and resistance. We mistakenly published Part 2 first. You can read Part 2 of the series here.


Hey all! I hope you’re doing great.

Today I want to discuss a simple subject that many men have issues with: “making a move.” This could be:

  • Approaching,

  • Escalating the vibe

  • “Going for the kill” (Inviting her to go home with you)

We won’t be covering anything new. Instead, we’ll be going over well-trod ground, but covering old concepts in a new light, giving readers clarification on how things fit together. This post is mostly suited to beginners, but intermediate players may also benefit.

Guys may hold themselves back from making a move, understandably, due to fear of rejection. There’s no sense pretending rejections are pleasant. The truth is they can hurt our egos or even our dignity as men.

As a result, many have suggested using mindsets or mental exercises to counter these fears. I’m not here to say these don’t work, as they can be beneficial. However, I want to offer a more practical solution or mindset to help conquer these fears. My solutions aren’t intended to discredit others you may seek to apply. We aren’t dealing with an “either/or” dichotomy but rather something you can ADD to your arsenal.

So, let’s get on with it.

Socialized Preferences in Dating: How Much of Our Romantic Tastes Are Acquired?

Chase Amante's picture
socialized preferencesWhy do you have the sexual, romantic preferences you do? Much of it is socialized. That is: you learn it from your experiences, your environment, and the media you consume.

We had a discussion on the forum about dating older women. In particular, "What's the oldest woman you've been with?"

The guys there had predictably varied tastes. Some guys are very into older women. Some are fine with much older women. But some aren't.

A point I raised was that it seems to me a preference for older women is likely socialized. i.e., this is a preference acquired by men, due to influences around them.

A lot of people aren't aware of just how many of their tastes are acquired tastes. They also often aren't aware of how they acquire them.

So from whence, pray tell, do your romantic likes originate?

Internal Consistency

Chase Amante's picture
internal consistencyA mental priority of men and women alike is to preserve internal consistency. Threats to that cause resistance – both in the women you want, and in you, yourself.

People do and say a lot of hypocritical things.

But what happens when you call someone out on an act of hypocrisy? Does he say, "Whoops, my bad! You caught me slipping"?

No, of course not. That almost never happens.

Instead, the usual reaction is what? Defensiveness and denial. Auto-rejection is also a common response.

Imagine you try to go home with a girl you met at a bar, and she tells you, "I don't just hook up with some guy I just met." But two hours later, you see her leaving the bar... with some other guy she met after she talked to you.

So you stop her and, feeling a little salty, say to her, "I thought you didn't go home with guys you just met?"

How will she react?

I think you can imagine how she will.

She'll either be:

  • Incensed: "What are you, my dad? Get away from me!"

  • Denying: "Actually we know each other" (might be a lie!)

  • Embarrassed: "Umm, I just need to go home now, sorry John" (you cockblocked the other guy)

At no point is she going to just say, "Ha, good point! You caught me in an act of inconsistency. Bully for you!" then just continue with what she was doing.

But internal consistency goes a lot deeper than this.

It reaches the way a man interacts with a woman he wants to pair with, or with another man he wants to form a connection with.

And it even reaches the heart of a man's very thoughts about himself, the way he conducts his life, and his ability (or inability) to do what he needs to do.