Emotions | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

What Is a Frame?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

frames: definitionFrames are one of the key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. But what exactly are they?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Today I’d like to discuss theory and cover frames. Frame control, framing, and frames are key cornerstones in pickup and seduction. If I had to keep only one tool in my arsenal, I would keep frame control – there, I said it. I wrote a detailed guide on frame control, but I’ve never dedicated a post to explaining what a frame actually is and what our community means by that word. All this site’s contributors and those on other sites will use terms like frames. And yet, I haven’t seen it explained thoroughly. I hope this post will rectify this.

This post is suited for both advanced guys and beginners. First, I’ll cover the straightforward basics about frames and what they are. The second part is rather advanced and quite theoretical. (If you’re a theory junkie, you’ll love it).

If you came here merely to get a definition of frames, you’ll only need to read the first half.

Still, it’s important to make this post understandable to newer guys, and I hope it will clear up misunderstandings you may have. Finally, we’ll have frames covered comprehensively once and for all.

On Unilateral Responses to Unilateral Actions

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unilateral responsesWhen people make unilateral actions against you, you must respond unilaterally in turn. Yet there’s a big difference between desperate unilateral responses and strategic ones.

I saw an article a month back about a father-of-three who set his wife on fire, killing her. It was, obviously, horrible. He did it right in front of their kids, too.

You look through the article and there are a bunch of pictures of the husband and wife, looking like two totally normal people, perfectly happy together. The husband looks like a bit of a nice guy, and the wife is always doing this weird shrug with her shoulders and kind of leaning away from the guy, but she's smiling, and it's a genuine smile. They look like a very typical, average, regular couple.

Then you read about the chain of events that led up to this guy going psycho on the wife.

His Australian wife kicked him out, presumably after they'd had a ton of fights. She then filed a restraining order against him, and started the divorce process. He, as an American citizen, believed he'd get deported from Australia, and presumably be cut out of his children's lives. His business was in Australia too (I don't know why he couldn't just get a business visa, but maybe he couldn't, or he was too upset to think of that).

The neighbors said they never heard the couple fighting, and the guy was always friendly, loved to talk, but was also "obviously distressed" when he was in the process of being kicked out.

If you read the article about this, it's clear the guy just went deeper and deeper into a depression spiral after his wife kicked him out. She began making accusations against him, too. Finally he snapped and went back and set her alight.

This article will be about a very important topic: that when people take unilateral action against you, as the wife was against the husband here, you also must respond in turn with unilateral action of your own.

However, you need to understand this, and approach it strategically, with appropriate moves and strategic timing -- well in advance of the point where you snap, and resort to desperate, destructive/self-destructive unilateral action, of the sort people turn to when they feel they have no way out.

3 Kinds of Introverted Seducers

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

introverted guysIntroverted guys don't need to become extroverted to achieve consistent success with beautiful women.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

Room Transitions, the Doorway Effect, and Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

room transitionsTake a girl into another room, and her emotions and memories change. But are these room transitions good for your seduction… or are they harmful to it?

Here's a tactic shockingly simple that a surprising number of men don't seem to have in their tactical repertoires: room transitions.

That is to say, when you need a shift in how things are going with a girl, particularly once you've established a certain pattern in the room you are in, it's much more natural to do that following a switch to a different room.

Sounds simple, but if you've ever found yourself trapped on a couch with a girl you brought home, having a deep conversation where you've waited too long to kiss and now it would feel awkward, a room transition can save you.

Further, if you bring a girl to your place for a date, and she isn't ready to go to bed right away so you need to take her through the courtship in the apartment, often it is going to be much easier to jump from courting to seducing following a room transition.

There's a downside to room transitions too: if you've ever had an amazing connection going with a girl somewhere, then stepped outside with her and it was like the connection completely evaporated and she left... or if you had a girl at your place totally ready to get intimate with you, but you decided to move her to the bedroom to get more comfortable, only the moment you set foot in the bedroom with her it was like a switch flipped and she decided she needed to go, you've run into the ugly side of room transitions.

Knowing how these transitions work allow you to switch things up when things are stuck or aren't going well, and avoid ruining a good thing when things are smooth.

What makes the room transition work as a seduction tactic is a little-known psychological principle known as 'The Doorway Effect'.

Removing Fear Through Good Practice (Rejection Part 1)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

removing fearMen are afraid of rejection. But there are ways to optimize yourself to rarely encounter it.

Editor's note: this is Part 1 of Alek's 2-part series on fear and resistance. We mistakenly published Part 2 first. You can read Part 2 of the series here.


Hey all! I hope you’re doing great.

Today I want to discuss a simple subject that many men have issues with: “making a move.” This could be:

  • Approaching,

  • Escalating the vibe

  • “Going for the kill” (Inviting her to go home with you)

We won’t be covering anything new. Instead, we’ll be going over well-trod ground, but covering old concepts in a new light, giving readers clarification on how things fit together. This post is mostly suited to beginners, but intermediate players may also benefit.

Guys may hold themselves back from making a move, understandably, due to fear of rejection. There’s no sense pretending rejections are pleasant. The truth is they can hurt our egos or even our dignity as men.

As a result, many have suggested using mindsets or mental exercises to counter these fears. I’m not here to say these don’t work, as they can be beneficial. However, I want to offer a more practical solution or mindset to help conquer these fears. My solutions aren’t intended to discredit others you may seek to apply. We aren’t dealing with an “either/or” dichotomy but rather something you can ADD to your arsenal.

So, let’s get on with it.

Socialized Preferences in Dating: How Much of Our Romantic Tastes Are Acquired?

Chase Amante's picture
socialized preferencesWhy do you have the sexual, romantic preferences you do? Much of it is socialized. That is: you learn it from your experiences, your environment, and the media you consume.

We had a discussion on the forum about dating older women. In particular, "What's the oldest woman you've been with?"

The guys there had predictably varied tastes. Some guys are very into older women. Some are fine with much older women. But some aren't.

A point I raised was that it seems to me a preference for older women is likely socialized. i.e., this is a preference acquired by men, due to influences around them.

A lot of people aren't aware of just how many of their tastes are acquired tastes. They also often aren't aware of how they acquire them.

So from whence, pray tell, do your romantic likes originate?

Internal Consistency

Chase Amante's picture
internal consistencyA mental priority of men and women alike is to preserve internal consistency. Threats to that cause resistance – both in the women you want, and in you, yourself.

People do and say a lot of hypocritical things.

But what happens when you call someone out on an act of hypocrisy? Does he say, "Whoops, my bad! You caught me slipping"?

No, of course not. That almost never happens.

Instead, the usual reaction is what? Defensiveness and denial. Auto-rejection is also a common response.

Imagine you try to go home with a girl you met at a bar, and she tells you, "I don't just hook up with some guy I just met." But two hours later, you see her leaving the bar... with some other guy she met after she talked to you.

So you stop her and, feeling a little salty, say to her, "I thought you didn't go home with guys you just met?"

How will she react?

I think you can imagine how she will.

She'll either be:

  • Incensed: "What are you, my dad? Get away from me!"

  • Denying: "Actually we know each other" (might be a lie!)

  • Embarrassed: "Umm, I just need to go home now, sorry John" (you cockblocked the other guy)

At no point is she going to just say, "Ha, good point! You caught me in an act of inconsistency. Bully for you!" then just continue with what she was doing.

But internal consistency goes a lot deeper than this.

It reaches the way a man interacts with a woman he wants to pair with, or with another man he wants to form a connection with.

And it even reaches the heart of a man's very thoughts about himself, the way he conducts his life, and his ability (or inability) to do what he needs to do.

Unhelpful vs. Helpful Mindsets for Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unhelpful mindsets for seductionThe way you think about things can help you seduce more women, or it can hurt you. Recognizing whether a mindset helps or hurts is key to adopting healthier beliefs.

In seduction, there are mindsets that are helpful to a man's seductive efforts, and there are mindsets that are unhelpful to them.

Helpful mindsets can be cultivated and used. Unhelpful ones should be pruned.

Much of the time when we talk about mindsets, I focus on talking about unhelpful mindsets to prune. Why don't I talk about helpful mindsets more? Because often when you talk about helpful mindsets, men either cannot relate to them (because those specific mindsets do not resonate with them, personally) or even find them boastful (even if it isn't how you intend).

There's an interesting phenomenon though where one man's unhelpful mindset is another man's helpful one.

To get you thinking clearer about your own mentalities, I'd like to take you through an 'unhelpful vs. helpful' mindset review and give you a chance to figure out which each of your own thoughts is.

Tactics Tuesdays: Unmasking Byronic Flaws

Chase Amante's picture
byronic flawsByronic flaws make a man more interesting, and much more bondable in courtships and relationships. Yet there’s an art to revealing them that many men often get wrong...

I recently worked with a hard case guy on a repeated relationship problem he has. Periodically, his relationships fail, inexplicably to him, with every woman he dates peeling off and wanting out.

He's been unable to understand why, but with this latest girl she gave him a lot of very clear feedback, that also mirrors feedback he's gotten from other girlfriends, as well as mirrors my own feeling personally with him.

That feedback was this:

That the girl, despite six months of trying to peel back his layers, was never able to get to know the real him. She feels like, after six months of attempts, she's still right back where she started with him, and is tired of trying.

This is a guy who, in most on-paper respects, should be a desirable guy. He's tall, accomplished, has good fundamentals, and good game. He's well-nigh unshakeable in his frame and is relentlessly optimistic (without being unrealistic). He's an ex-military man and is tough-as-nails, yet is also a religious man and is caring and intelligent, if sometimes not always totally attuned to why a woman is doing what she's doing.

What I realized on looking at how this latest girlfriend quit the relationship is that he isn't letting women peel his layers back properly, and this is causing women to feel like they don't even really know him.

Which in turn causes those women to feel like failures, then causes them to leave.

What I said to him was, "You need to help women peel your layers back properly. You might also need to get more comfortable yourself showing people more of whom you are underneath your armor."

Tactics Tuesdays: Strategic Commitment Escalation

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

strategic commitment escalationYour girlfriend is hinting she wants to get more serious. But she won’t ask outright and you won’t go out on a limb yourself. How do you not chase – or ignore?

It's always a bit fraught dealing with the "how much does this person like me?" "how serious should this relationship be?" question.

You'll notice most people of both sexes will dance around this issue. There's a lot of tentative feeling out of the other partner. Both sexes hesitate a lot, miscommunicate, and make incorrect assumptions.

There's a reason for this: by being the first to put yourself out there and 'show all your cards' in a relationship you run the risk of all kinds of unpleasant things:

  • Maybe the other person doesn't like you as much, and feels like you're coming on too strong when you do

  • Maybe the other person likes you a lot more, and feels disappointed at how uninterested you seem to be

  • Maybe you totally misread the other person and actually s/he was happy the way things were and didn't want the relationship to escalate

Any kind of escalation of commitment is in fact a minefield where it's all too easy for any misalignment between the parties to blow the whole thing up.

So it's no wonder this is a difficult step for your average relationship.

However... there is a little tactic you can use to navigate this step a lot more fluidly.