Emotions | Girls Chase

Emotions

The effects emotions have on men and women, and how they can be a powerful tool in attraction and relationship building.

What Do You Do If You're Caught Lying

caught lying
Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.

“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.

“Oh? Which friend is that?”

“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”

“Okay, when are you going to see him?”

I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.

Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).

My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.

Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?

I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.

A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.

In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.

Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.

A Few Cautionary Notes about Dating Religious Girls

dating religious girls
Should you date a religious girl? While you burn with passion, “How do I get to sex?” may be all on your mind. Yet there’s more at stake here – for you and her.

This article isn’t going to discuss the “how-to” part of dating religious girls, which Colt has already covered in a separate article. In this article, we’re going to discuss the outcomes of those sorts of relationships (religious girl with non-religious man) and some things to consider when pursuing them. I’m going to use Muslim girls as our example for this article, since here in Western Europe they’re the most devout women you will encounter, and you will face your greatest challenges and risks to both your and her characters and futures dealing with such deep convictions and whether and how to deal with them.

It’s easy to find yourself dating a religious girl and get into that one-track mind: “How do I get this girl into bed?” We see plenty of guys comment on Girls Chase asking this question. What I aim to address here is not the “how” part, but the “what happens if you do” part. Because in your rush to bed such a girl, you can have some pretty big ripple effects – both on her life, identity, and family relationships, and on how you ultimately see yourself and the trajectory your life is on.

Religious differences are a potential source of major arguments that can lead to breakups; or, to the reverse, of finding yourself on a one-way trip to wedding bells, even if all you intended at the outset was a quick fling. Therefore, if you before you engage in a relationship with a religious (especially Muslim!) girl, you should know the likely outcomes beforehand.

Mixing a religious girl with a non-religious man can be a dangerous route to take, especially for the girl, so as a man who is learning about relationships and who is willing to be the leader, your duty includes taking care of the consequences of your actions... So it is a good idea to be informed.

How to Get Comfortable with Female Sexuality

female sexuality
One of the big struggles for men who are waking up on women is getting comfortable with female sexuality. How do you do it?

One of the more challenging mental hurdles for the active dater can be overcoming his feelings about female sexuality. This is most true for men who’ve grown up bombarded with messages about female purity, chastity, and the like.

Even in our present society, with ‘slut walks’, Femen, rape culture, and Sex and the City, men still grow up confused with female sexuality. On the one hand, men are told women have the right to sexual liberation without judgment from men. On the other hand, if a man talks to any individual woman and broaches the subject of sexuality, she’ll often react with disgust and offense and tell him no, of course she doesn’t do that or isn’t into this.

This leads lots of men to an, ”Oh, that’s just TV,” mentality, where women behave sexually liberal on TV and in the movies, yet sexually chaste in real life.

Some part of most guys knows that there’s some kind of deception going on here; either the TV is lying and women are all chaste angels, or women themselves are lying and they’re not (and he just isn’t in on the action).

Yet a guy can go his whole life without ever pulling the tarp back on this sexual misdirection... Until he starts to succeed more with girls.

And then, everything changes.

Optimize Your Nervous System (and Gain State Control)

optimize nervous system
How good are you at using what’s in your brain? Fight-or-flight responses in social situations are common – yet you’re not bound to them.

Most pick-up theory is not well informed about the workings of the brain and the nervous system, which causes many guys to severely underperform in terms of their social state control. The author has studied this topic from both theoretical and practical angles for years and would like to share his experience on this issue.

In pick-up theory, state is used as a description of both the mental state and the resulting physical state of a person. Field reports often mention how the “state” of those involved changes during an evening or day out. “State” can more or less be used synonymously with “mood.”

State is an extremely important factor in one’s ability to perform seduction, in that the results of a given action will be heavily dependent on the mood of the person performing it – for obvious reasons. Your mood can be said to be the sum of your earlier interactions, and if your mood is bad, it means that the world has treated you badly – hardly a turn-on. Conversely, a stable, good mood will tell a history of being treated well by the world. And those who are constantly able to stay in a stable, good mood, no matter how bad the situation is, will be looked up to.

In evolutionary terms, your mood is a fitness indicator similar to looking physically healthy. Controlling your mood is therefore of utmost importance in nearly any social setting – and this is what “state control” refers to.

Are You Spinning Yourself? (Almost Certainly)

spinning yourself
Spin is used to influence how others think about things. But are you using spin on your own thoughts? Odds are, you are – and it risks sabotaging you.

Some of my greatest teachers in seduction were my coworkers in car sales. In a world in which they were highly distrusted, they were still able to finagle hundreds of thousands of dollars from unassuming customers.

I personally do not condone some of the tactics I was taught, and I probably would not teach most of them for morality’s sake. But a few ideas and concepts were definitely worth teaching, and there is one in particular I would like to share with you today.

That particular technique is the technique called “spinning”; or, “taking off the market.”

Always Hold the Moral High Ground

moral high ground
Sometimes a girl might stun you by taking a moral high ground stance opposite you. To address this, you must be prepared to seize it back – with prejudice.

As Thanksgiving (if you’re American) winds down, I’m reminded of one of the cultural phenomenon we’ve seen over the past few years, with various people attacking the holiday and shaming those who celebrate it. “The settlers took this country from the Native Americans,” they say. It’s hardly a day for celebration, they tell you.

This movement to make others feel guilt over their heritage is part of a greater guilt/shame movement in Western society. The latest American presidential election, to a great extent, was a repudiation of this guilt/shame movement; it was to large extent a population saying, “We will not be scolded and chastised by those who think us their betters any longer.”

The competition for the moral high ground between different groups in societies never ends. However, it isn’t just groups that compete for the high ground; it’s individuals, too.

What holding the moral high ground is really about is frame control; it’s ultimate frame control. Because if the moral high ground is yours, facts don’t matter. Opinions don’t matter. Nothing else matters except that you are morally correct... And the other side, by opposing you, is the morally questionable. Which means the other side must yield authority to you.

The Sexual Reframe, Part II: Sexual Mystique

sexual mystique
You can use the sexual reframe to quickly make conversations hot and sexual. The trick is to build a mystique – and to paint sexual images into her mind.

In my previous article I reintroduced the concept of the sexual reframe.

To recap... the sexual reframe is a technique where you take a girl’s desire for sex, and mold it into something new and different that can be enjoyed by the two of you.

This also ties into the power of liminal space – a moment hanging between time and space, in which whatever happens “doesn’t count” and we get to tap into our primal desires. And, as I discussed in the previous article, sexual reframing is a technique used on top of a liminal space to suggest to her that she shares your desires – with the purpose of heightening the sexual experience.

It’s how you encourage her to like – what you like.

Now, to pull this off consistently, there are just 2 necessary steps that need to be worked into your seductions. Think of it as a recipe for sexual reframing.

  1. Cultivate a Sexual Mystique
  2. Share Emotional and Erotically-charged Narratives

Girls are Some of Your Greatest Teachers

girls greatest teachers
Girls teach you a lot when you try to talk to them, date them, or pick them up. They’re among the greatest teachers you’ll have, in fact.

In Drexel’s post yesterday on the top 3 reasons to pick up sober, he discussed pickup as a crucible through which you may purge demons and unlock total masculinity.

There are a few areas of life that shape and mold boys into men in their own unique ways:

  • Group leadership (sports, clubs, politics, priesthood, military)
  • Business operation (or in particular, business ownership)
  • Teaching
  • Fatherhood
  • Cold approach pickup

None of these are guarantees. Plenty of men make it through any of these crucibles with gaping holes in their masculinity.

  • The talented seducer who sobs over yet another girlfriend who’s ditched him, or flies into a rage when some girl dares reject him.

  • The father who fails to discipline his children out of fear and instead raises dysfunctional adults.

  • The leader who’s a leader in name only, and never learns to look out for anyone more than himself.

  • The teacher who’s only in it for the paycheck, the power, or to indoctrinate and inculcate, versus the instructor who exists to challenge, spark curiosity, and open minds.

  • The business operator or owner who cuts corners and does anything for a buck, leaving a trail of burned contractors, employees, and customers in his wake.

However the man who takes his cultivation serious can grow enormously in any of these roles... Far more so than he can in any other way.

That’s because central to each of these roles are two elements as crucial to succeeding with women as they are to succeeding as a man: the social crucible, and responsibility for more than one’s self.

Why Do STEM-Educated Men Have a Harder Time Meeting Women?

STEM meet girls
Men in STEM fields, despite their smarts, often don’t do well with girls. What’s the cause of this handicap – and what can you do about it?

STEM is an acronym for the academic disciplines of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. It is a moderately strong stereotype that men educated in these fields are socially awkward nerds who struggle with women.

Why is this the case (that STEM men are so often nerdy and awkward and not good with girls), and what can be done about it?

The author has studied math, physics, and computer science and would like to give his thoughts on this issue.

The first thing to be said about this problem is that it IS to some extent true that STEM-educated guys have problems with socializing and women, and thus the corresponding “nerd” stereotype is rather common with students and workers in such fields.

Obviously not all STEM guys have problems, and for those who do have problems, they are rarely unsolvable. The challenges STEM guys face have several different causes, and some personality traits should be reviewed before we start discussing solutions.