Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

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By: Chase Amante

how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.

When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?

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By: Chase Amante

too old to party
At some point, you can’t go to the club or the frat party anymore. But when do you get to old to party? And can you ever get too old to meet girls?

We have a few guys on the comments and in the discussion boards who are fixated on age. These guys (in their late 20s or early 30s) worry about the future: they’re not living the lives they want right now, and they fear that in a few years it will be too late. Life will have passed them by, and they will forever regret not having done what they always longed to do. Here’s an excerpt from a recent forum post by Oh Pry:

“I like the idea of celebrating a holiday or special time of the year with a party and going to events with hot girls but at times I do like to get put it into perspective to see how long I have until I start to feel like the old guy in the group.

Even on this forum I doubt members over 30 are spending Halloween going to a party with a hot girl or having a hell of a Christmas party with hot girls doing kinky shit.

Any thoughts on this?”

We also get guys who stop by and express regret or depression that it’s too late for them and there’s little left for them to do. These are mostly men in their mid-to-late 50s... but we get guys in their 20s who express this same sentiment too.

I want to tackle this article from two perspectives. One is the mindset perspective: that is, why it’s counterproductive to worry someday you’ll be too old, or feel depressed because you think you already are too old. The other will just be a straight age-opportunity rundown: what places are available venues to you at different ages?

How Much Interest to Show a Girl (The 3 Considerations)

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By: Chase Amante

show girl you're interested
Each girl needs you to show a somewhat different amount of interest in her at different phases of the courtship. There are 3 keys to this: her interest, her type, and calibration.

A few weeks back, a reader commenting on my article “The Single Guy’s Guide to Starting Fresh in a New City” asked a few questions, including this one:

“How to show interest while maintaining a sense of mystery and make her wonder whether or not you like her?”

The only short answer to that question is ‘it depends’. It’s calibration. Some girls you show more interest in, some girls less.

The long answer involves a few steps: you need to know how interested she is, you need to know whether she responds better to aloof men or interested men, and you need to calibrate accordingly.

12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35

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By: Chase Amante

things men should have handled
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.

I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.

In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).

So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?

The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.

If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.

Tactics Tuesdays: Kisses for Good Behavior

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By: Chase Amante

cheek kiss reward
When a girl does something good, you can reward her with a cheek kiss… and open up the floodgates of romantic and sexual potential.

This is a fun little tactic I’ve employed over the years that does a lot of good things for you.

The tactic is simple: when she does something you like, give her a peck on the cheek, neck, shoulder, or lips.

There’s a little nuance to it, because the power of the kiss will be tied to the level of investment she gives you. The bigger the investment, the weightier the kiss. The lesser the investment, the lesser the kiss.

I’m going to do a quick section to tell you why this is good. And then I’ll give you a few examples of how and where you’d use it.

As You Get Older, Should You Date Women Who Want to Reconnect?

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By: Chase Amante

girls who want to reconnect
It’s been years… and now she wants to reconnect. Should you meet her? And beyond that, should you date her?

I received an email recently from a girl I hadn’t heard from in six or seven years.

I’d known her from social circle (back when I still maintained a social circle). She was skinny, fun, and cute, with an endearing California Valley girl accent (and all the expressiveness that entails). She also had that somewhat uptight air about her that can be a little off-putting but is really fun when you break through it and reach the real her.

Anyway, this was not a girl I’d hooked up with. Didn’t really have a good opportunity, and in any event I slept with other girls from that circle who were younger and didn’t have the same walls up she did. I met up with her various times in our shared social circle. Toward the end of my time in that circle, I scheduled a one-on-one meet with her but had to flake on it... and when she wanted to meet again I wasn’t able to make myself available for it. And after that we were in different cities and she fell off my radar. She was 29 years old back then.

So I got an email from her after more than half a decade, just saying she saw an event and wondered if I intended to go to it and asking if I was in town.

And the only thing I could think was, “Wow, 36 years old and still single, huh?”

Tactics Tuesdays: Conversations Where the Girl Doesn't Talk Much

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By: Chase Amante

girl doesn't talk much
Sometimes you’ll meet girls who won’t contribute to conversation. When this happens, you’ll have to step up and do the talking yourself.

One of our forum members by the name of Witcher had a few questions about deep diving, one of which was this:

“Deep diving demand[s] from the seducer to ask girls a lot of questions, How to not make It look like an interview or audition? This is the impression I have doing it and It feels a little weird.”

Of course, one of the keys to deep diving is that you not make it feel like an interview... which means past a certain number of questions, if she hasn’t begun to participate much yet, you need to turn your questions into statements. You can do this with cold reads (instead of: “What do you do for work?”, make it: “You look like either an anthropologist or an entrepreneur, I’m not sure which”). And beyond this, if she doesn’t get more involved, you will need to start to tell stories and otherwise steer the conversation with your own content.

The better your fundamentals, the faster you hook girls in... and the more likely you are to end up in conversations where girls pelt you with questions and/or open up about themselves from the get-go. Yet even if your fundamentals are in a class of their own, you will still encounter women who seem, for lack of a better term for it, ‘conversationally impaired’.

Could be she isn’t interested. Could be she’s not in a social mood. Could be she’s just a quiet person and not particularly talkative.

But if you find yourself in such a conversation, with a girl who sticks around and passes your compliance tests (so you know you’re not wasting your time on a disinterested girl), yet nevertheless doesn’t contribute, you will need another approach.

You’ll need to be able to run the conversation when the girl’s contribution is all or mostly absent.

The "I've Got to Wait for Girls to Meet Me" Thing

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By: Chase Amante

wait for her to approach
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing proposition.

One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.

Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.

I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.

Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.

But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.

A Day in the Life of the 21st Century Woman

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By: Chase Amante

a day in the life of a woman
What’s a normal day look like for a regular girl? Work, friends, gym, guys – lots of guys, of all kinds – and that’s just the start.

Monica’s phone alarm goes off. It’s 7:00 AM. “Ugh,” she groans. She stayed up too late to watch that stupid show again. It always seems like a great idea when she’s into it. And then it seems like dumbest, most vapid thing ever when she wakes up sleep deprived the next day. She slides her finger across the phone screen to disable the alarm, and rolls out of bed.

She shambles over to the bathroom, yanks her panties down, and plops down onto the seat. Pee hisses out. She feels relieved. She gives a few wipes, flushes the toilet, and gets up to go into the kitchen.

Breakfast... should she or shouldn’t she? She stares into her cupboard. She’s skipped it every other morning this week so far. “No breakfast” is part of her master plan to shed this light extra layer of blubber that’s crept onto her waistline. Nobody else seems to have realized she isn’t super super skinny anymore yet, but she’s realized it. Hunger overrules the desire to drop a few pounds and she pours herself a bowl of cereal. Well, at least it’s healthy cereal, she reasons. She munches on her breakfast at the table while she reads on her phone.

Looks like normal drama on her social media today. That crazy single mother Abigail in her network had posted another two-paragraph self-justification dressed up as life advice. This time she’d posted about how life is all about experience and travel and not being held back from going for the man you want. That got her a slew of likes and praise (“SO TRUE!”)... until Maria couldn’t help herself and weighed in: “That’s maybe also why 2 kids, 2 dads, still single though, right? #lifechoices.” The comments on the post exploded after that. Monica snorts out a laugh. Maria is her workmate who never held her tongue (or her punches). About 90% of the comments under Maria’s remark are other women scolding her. But Monica knows most of those women secretly hold opinions closer to Maria than to Abigail. She thinks about clicking ‘Like’ on Maria’s post, then decides she doesn’t need to get involved in that debacle.

After breakfast, she puts her bowl, spoon, and glass in the sink. There are a few days’ worth of dishes in there. Gotta clean those before they start to attract bugs, she thinks. She quick washes any milk and crumbs out of the bowl, then leaves it for a proper wash later.

She puts her hair up in a bun and takes a quick shower, using the handheld showerhead to rinse. She spends a little too long with the shower jet aimed at her clitoris. Then she moves down and rinses her legs. She gives herself a quick scrub with some soap and a pouf, then another rinse, then it’s out of the shower. She dresses herself in a neat, tidy little business-y outfit, brushes her teeth, does her hair, and grabs her purse and her duffle bag with gym clothes, then it’s out the door and off to work.