Tactics Tuesdays: Pick Up and Emotional Validation
A reader writes in, on the topic of emotional validation:
“Hey there, been reading the site lately and I've noticed that one thing I haven't seen so far is a post about validation. Maybe you call it something different but I was talking to a female friend of mine and she brought something up that seemed similar to it.
I was telling her about how I and my pops were watching a Laker game and my mom kept bringing up how "she needs to get her work done." It was starting to irritate me because she would say it and then leave it up in the air.
After a while I barked back "well go do it then." I knew instinctively that wasn't the best thing to say but I really wanted her to quit with the empty statements lol!
So, after the game ended I talked to her about it and she was telling me how I could have said "I know you gotta get your work done but how about you relax with us and watch the game and then go start on the work afterwards?"
Now as soon as I heard her say that I immediately thought validation. I'm validating that thought or feeling by giving that response. While my response of "go do it" sounds like I'm rejecting her.
So I was wondering if you all could drop a post on validation. Once I realized this whole idea of validating a woman it gave me that "aha" moment, really started to put a lot of my failed interactions into a new light, you know? It also helped me to understand the whole chase framing, push-pull, etc. concepts because by validating her all of that stuff is much easier to pull off. Because she knows that you’re setting a frame but your pulling her along with you. Instead of making it seem like its her frame against yours like many other PUA’s seem to advocate.”
Our reader raises a good point here.
Validation is something I tend not to focus on much personally - it's something that fast becomes irrelevant when you're following the rule of thumb of always escalate and keep moving fast. But it's a real phenomenon, and it will affect your interactions with women - though, if you're doing things right, it should prove more a curiosity than a major distraction.
Here's what I mean.
Know one of the worst things that can happen (romantically, in any event)? You meet a girl you really like, things seem like they're incredible between the two of you, you both become more and more interested in and excited about each other... and then you take her on one of these bad dates and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.
Something you'll notice I don't talk about a great deal on this site is the concept of "value." It's an old seduction community idea I find generally wracked with all kinds of faulty mentalities, leading to misunderstandings of what generate attraction and positive relationships. Still, when approached through the proper lens, I find that the concepts of value and attraction can be used in a way that better your odds and success rates with women.
There's a good chance you know it already, instinctively if not consciously, but the first rule of eye contact, of course, is this: don't look down. Why's that so important?
Tell me if you've heard this one.
In his latest book 
It sounds like advice more characteristically given from one woman to another, but the warning to not be too easy to get is just as valid for men as it is for women.
When you're new to meeting women and you're just getting started, finding the right PUA openers is consistently the number one thing on your mind. How do you open a girl the right way? Learning opening can feel like this big, daunting challenge.
Good posture is one of those things it's easy to overlook -- how often do you examine your posture, for instance? But it has a tremendous impact on how others view you -- so much that you might be amazed, in fact.