Escalation | Girls Chase

Escalation

Proceeding a courtship from the stage before to the stage after

When Should You Seal the Deal with a Girl?

Alek Rolstad's picture
seal the deal with a girlShe’s into you. Should you seal the deal with this girl now… or put it off to later? Now, usually. Yet while nothing’s promised, sometimes it may pay to delay.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Previously, we discussed whether one should go for a same day or night pull or go for her number and set a date later. If you want a detailed answer, check out my previous post.

Today I will discuss a similar subject: whether one should try to escalate to intimacy or back down and focus on the next date.

A typical example: the logistics are better than the example in the previous post; she is at your place. Should you go for the kill or take it chill and extend the seduction to another meeting?

Making the right call will depend on your field experience, gut feeling, and your evaluation of variables to assess the situation.

The only way to develop that gut feeling is through practice, trial and error, and learning from your failures. There is no other way around it.

Hopefully, this post will clarify a few things.

First, I want to recap the pitfalls of arousal and how they link to female state control (FSC) and anti-slut defense (ASD). If you are familiar with those, you can skip the next section. However, a refresh is always a good idea.

Unlike my previous posts suited for seducers of all levels, this post is ideal for advanced players. However, there’s no harm to beginners and intermediate guys reading this. Making the right call is difficult, so I recommend that beginners try to seal the deal when the logistics allow for it, even if they fail, since failure, although frustrating, may teach a lot. Beginners are more likely to misjudge, opt for the safe route, and not escalate, which statistically may give fewer results.

What Is the End in Seduction?

Alek Rolstad's picture
end in seductionWhat end must you aim for in a seduction? Is it attraction? Is it stimulation? Is it to impress her so much she chases? In fact, it’s none of these… not if you want the girl, that is.

Hey guys.

I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s get ready for some advanced stuff.

Today, I would like to reflect on how the typical “ends” in pickup and seduction are not what one should strive for (aside from shagging her, of course).

By ends, I am referring to what you want to accomplish, so you get her into bed:

  • Do you impress her?

  • Do you stimulate her?

  • Do you make her attracted? (I prefer the word “compliance”)

Are these ends the correct ones? That’s what we will discuss. I will cover the typical concepts of ends and why they are not real ends or simply just a means to an end.

Then I will cover what the real ends are.

This post should not be confused with “the end game” of seduction and whether your end goal with a woman is a relationship or casual sex. Only you can provide the answer to that question.

So we will discuss which ends to focus on to have the most results. This is a more objective approach than trying to answer the subjective question of what type of relationships you’d like to have with women.

I will start with basic concepts and get into complex stuff later. Let’s dive in.

Seduction School: Escalating Despite Objections

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

escalating past women's objectionsWomen will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.

The Tequila Gambit: Get Her Isolated with You

Alek Rolstad's picture

seduction gambit tequila
Here’s a great seduction gambit based on anti-climaxes and creating intrigue. This one is designed specifically to get her isolated with you. Tequila!

Hey, guys! It’s time to share another gambit that is part of the seduction stack I currently use in the field.

Previously, we discussed how to use anti-climaxes to stimulate her and be intriguing while also setting a sexual frame. Today we will still use anti-climaxes to build intrigue and stimulate her, but we will also introduce a tool to generate a high note that can allow you to isolate her in a smooth way.

Isolation is the subject for today. This post will give you another tool to isolate women!

Let's begin with a discussion about why it's so important to isolate your girl.

The Points of No Return in Seduction and Courtships

Varoon Rajah's picture

points of no return with women
Every courtship is a ladder of many steps, some of which are absolutely crucial to get anywhere. Failing to pass these points of no return will spell almost certain doom.

The basic premise of courtship with a girl is to always have forward progress; as fast as she allows you to move.

Part of being a smooth guy is knowing exactly when and how to push things forward. Whether you meet a sexy girl at night and quickly move toward intimacy in 15-20 minutes, or if you meet a girl in day game and meet her another day for a date, the primary goal is still to move toward sex and intimacy as fast she allows.

Assuming you’re on a date with a girl, or you’re out with her at night pushing things ahead, there are the key points you’ll have to pass to move toward intimacy. If for some reason you don’t push forward, or you don’t succeed, the entire encounter becomes undone and will likely fail.

These are the points of no return, where pushing for success is imperative despite any circumstances, because if you pass these points without progress, the odds of seeing the girl again are virtually nil.

Below I’ve laid out several crucial points to keep things moving forward with a girl. These all play into the basic idea of escalation windows. These are the windows in which you need to move toward intimacy, and they do not last long. Once they close and forward progress ends, she moves on, or backward-rationalizes that it wasn’t meant to be.

One breakthrough in my game this year has been to realize how important it is to win in these moments. Especially if you’re coming from a less aggressive “nice guy” background, your gut will likely tell you to play it safe in moments that actually require you to be bold, aggressive, and persistent.

2 Strategies for Making a Move on a Girl

Alek Rolstad's picture

get laid make a move
You should never wait for a girl to make a move toward sex. That’s your job. These two move-making strategies will help you get the job done in most situations.

Should I pull the trigger? Should I make a move?

It’s a hard question. A question anyone in the field asks themselves often about girls – particularly if the girl is cute and the interaction seems to be going the right way.

So, what do I mean by pulling the trigger? It is making a direct move to push the interaction toward intimacy and sex. That big step depends on the situation, the girl, and you.

Making a move could mean:

No matter which one you are dealing with, it can be the gateway to the next level in your interaction.

If you fail to make a move, you will likely not get the girl. Reread this, because it is important:

“If you do not make a move, you will not get the girl.”

If you don’t make a move, three things will happen:

  • If you are lucky, the interaction goes stale – not forward but at least not backward

  • If you are unlucky, she will get bored or think you are weak and lose attraction for you

  • If you are very unlucky, she will bail and hook up with another guy. If your night truly is crap, she will do it in front of your face. But if it makes you feel any better, let me tell you that this happens to all of us

Now let's get to the finer points.

Sexual Escalation with Shy Girls vs. Not Shy Girls

Varoon Rajah's picture

sexual escalation shy girls
Shy or not, the secret to getting a girl in bed is to move fast. But is the process of escalating to sex different with shy girls? Yes, and here’s how to do it.

This article is the unfortunate outcome of my many failures in pulling and escalation. People around me who know about my day game skills have been envious about my ability to meet a girl anywhere, any place, with little to no fear or anxiety. Guys tend to trip up most when it comes to approach anxiety and getting the guts to approach women – this doesn’t exist in my domain; I got over that fear many years ago.

Currently, my biggest sticking point has been at the very end of seduction – in the moment of pulling the girl back to my place, and in the moment of escalating with her. I must have lost over 200 girls by failing in the most critical point in the seduction – the moment when she’s already decided she wants to sleep with me, and I messed up with delivering on her wishes.

In this article, and in my next article series where I will discuss female self-esteem through all stages of seduction, we’re diving deep into how to escalate and close the deal with a girl when she’s at home alone (or wherever) with you, ready to have sex. Although different guys have different means to go about doing this, my focus here is on simplicity – how to read her and get her in bed with you depending on what kind of interest she shows in you.

Despite all my failures, there have also been many successes. Often failure is the best teacher – because through failure, you internalize a pattern so that you never trip up on it again, unless the pattern changes. So from my own failures as well as successes, let’s look at what patterns have visibly emerged.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Make Invites

Chase Amante's picture

make invitesYou talk to a girl on a street somewhere and you reach that ‘moment’. She smiles, you smile. She looks at you with expectation.

Invite her to do something!

You’re with a girl in a bar and it reaches that lull where it hasn’t gone bad but has grown stale. And now the pressure on you to entertain or interest her begins to mount.

Don’t entertain her; invite her to do something!

You meet a group of cool people at a party and hit it off. There’s a cool guy and some real cute girls in the group. They like to talk to you and you like to talk to them, but it seems like nothing will happen with them.

Stop waiting for them to take charge. Invite them to do something yourself!

Invite her, invite her, invite them. Invite people. If you hit it off with a girl, make invites. If you click with cool people, make invites.

If you want a social or romantic future with any person you meet, make invites.

"Just the Tip" and 4 Other Foot-in-the-Door Techniques

Chase Amante's picture

just the tip
When she isn’t ready for the whole thing, sometimes you can get in with just the tip. But you can use this tactic in many more ways than just sex.

Time for a fun post.

In psychology, there's a form of compliance known as the ‘foot-in-the-door' technique. The basic premise of it is once you get someone to agree to something little, you can easily expand it to a great deal more. Just like getting your foot in the door enough for you to then widen the door.

We've talked about a few of these over the years. “Just sit for five minutes”, for instance, I talked about in “Don't Let Her Go.”

Today, I'm going to give you a template for this form of compliance. And I'll give you five (5) common examples of when and how to use this.

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

Chase Amante's picture

two steps forward, one step back
Two steps forward, one step back. It’s the magic technique that lets you bypass almost all of her resistance… And it’s not hard to do.

One of the more enduring seduction strategies, and one you’ve seen discussed on this site plenty before (especially in some of Alek’s articles), is that of “two steps forward, one step back.”

You may call it push-pull or fractionation. Or you might call it the zigzag path to victory (victory here being, needless to say, a new lay or new girlfriend). Two steps forward, one step back is, on the surface, a crystal clear, simple system:

  1. First, a bold move forward (e.g., you place your hand on her lower back)

  2. Then, a partial retreat back (to, say, your hand on her upper arm)

  3. Wash, rinse, repeat: go bolder still next time... then another partial retreat. Then again. And again

With this method, you may gradually acclimate a girl to touch, proximity, innuendo, or just about anything else. Yet as simple as it sounds, it is a major mindset shift. To use it well, you must shift from the typical mindset of “gain a toehold, then hang onto it for dear life.”

To help you do this, today we’ll talk about the method, and introduce you to the psychology.

Then, we’ll load you up with examples till you’re plum happy.