Escalation | Page 4 | Girls Chase

Escalation

Proceeding a courtship from the stage before to the stage after

Over-Gaming, and Losing Girls You Should’ve Got

Chase Amante's picture

over gameOne topic I’ve found coming up a lot recently in discussions with guys on the boards and in real life is that of avoiding what I call ‘over-gaming’... when a guy just spends too much time trying to convince a girl he is attractive enough, or that she should come with him, instead of just leading and making it happen.

If you’ve fully internalized some of the basic concepts on here already, like:

... there won’t be much new for you in this post.

However, if you’re still not firing 100% on all cylinders, this’ll give you another perspective at looking at an issue that guys in the intermediate level on up run into quite commonly.

Next Level Seduction Pt. 4: The Power of Childhood Games

Colt Williams's picture

This post is Part 4 in my series of Next Level Seduction series, a series dedicated to illuminating and breaking down the most advanced concepts, processes, and subtleties involved at the highest level of seduction. It’s about discussing ideas that most men may not necessarily think about and identifying the nuances of living your life as a highly sexual and desirable male. So, if you’re new to the game, you can either ignore this or try not to be intimidated. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.


Do you remember that experience when you were younger; the feeling of being an adolescent or teenager and wondering about what girls were thinking?

And then, somehow, you found yourself in a situation where you were in a circle with a bunch of your friends. And there was always small talk about classes or the newest movie everyone wanted to see, but inevitably, one inquisitive child would ask about or propose playing a game.

Maybe it was truth or dare. Maybe it was spin the bottle. Maybe it was seven minutes in heaven. Or maybe, just maybe, it was never have I ever. And then there would be that moment; that moment where a couple people giggled, a couple people looked at each other, a couple people blushed, and one or two brave souls admitted that they wanted to play too.

seduction games

And then the game would begin. And by the end of it, something memorable would always happen. Maybe you got to kiss your crush at the time, aka, the girl of your dreams. Maybe you got to feel a girl’s body for the first time. Or maybe you just saw two of your friends disappear into a closet and were riveted and shocked when they told you the story of what happened during the recap the next day.

But, no matter what happened, that experience (or those experiences) have always remained with you. Maybe you brought it back in high school and something interesting happened. Maybe you experimented with them in college and brought back that playful childhood inquisitiveness.

But the thing is…the feelings from those experiences never really go away. Everyone — man or woman — has that awkward child in them who just wants to flick a glass bottle and have it stop while pointed at the person they have a crush on.

And playing a childhood game can be a great way to set yourself up for a unique sexual experience— at any age. People never get tired of them. But why is that?

Today I’m going to look at those old childhood games that we all know and love, and I’m going to talk about why they’re absolute sexual dynamite.

Quick Escalation to Sex: It's All About the Windows

J.J. Jones's picture

quick escalationA hot topic on the discussion boards as of late has been the concept of escalation windows: how to spot them, and what you should do when one of these colossal portals to hanky-panky town is unlocked before your eager eyes. Escalation windows can be hard to spot, and when detected, you must act quickly and with conviction.

If you’re not quite sure exactly what we mean by the term “escalation window”, you should probably go ahead and give this 2011 article by Chase a quick read to get your feet wet.

Basically, escalation is an out-and-out requirement if you want to sleep with women. Why’s that, you ask?

To paraphrase a nice little tidbit that a very wise mentor once best owed upon me: “No Escalation, No Lovin’…”

So with that in mind, if you don’t escalate things… well, you know what will happen. Or, more precisely, what won’t happen.

No Going Backwards

Chase Amante's picture

no going backwardsOne of our members on the discussion boards recently wrote about a girl he'd been out on a date with, who was very attracted to him, and with whom he'd made it all the way back to his place.

They reached his home, only for her to refuse coming upstairs with him. He persisted; she refused. He persisted; she refused. She then counter offered that he accompany her to a bar - he relented, then accepted. Once at the bar, they shared a few rounds of passionate kisses, then parted ways.

A few days later this girl who'd been previously very attracted to him - enough to accompany him all the way back to his home and to kiss him passionately at the bar texted him something very kind and considerate that concluded with her having realized they "didn't really have all that much in common after all." She was no longer interested in seeing him anymore.

He was surprised; she'd clearly been so attracted to him before. Why the sudden switch?

The reason why, I responded, was that he'd allowed her to take things backwards in the seduction; instead of moving ahead, things deescalated and retreated.

Going backwards in a seduction, as we will see in this article, does all kinds of bad things for you with precedent and attraction that you'll want to not have anything to do with... it's the seduction equivalent of the shady part of town you're better off steering clear of at all costs.

Tactics Tuesdays: Move Girls

Chase Amante's picture

move girlsIf you've been reading this site a while, I'm sure you've seen me recommend again and again that you move girls to get them committed to the interaction with you.

You might have wondered exactly what that meant though, or exactly how to do it.

It's a surprisingly simple piece of advice - "move girls" - but it makes a huge difference in how your interactions go. In fact, it's hands down my favorite exercise to do with coaching clients. Typically we go out, work on a little basic opening, some initial conversation, and then, the meat - I tell a guy, "All right, next, I want you to start moving these girls."

I've seen this called "isolation" in some places, "extraction" in others. It's been given lots of longwinded technical explanations, like you need to move women in order to get them away from their friends, who'll interfere... or something like that.

This is not so. Friends don't make much of a difference. What DOES make a difference is getting girls to commit to talking with you - and following your lead.

And that's necessary for a couple of different reasons.

Escalation Windows

Chase Amante's picture

Just received the following email from a reader, who was kind enough to allow me to reprint here, preferring to remain anonymous. He asks:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure if your one to give feedback to random readers of your blog but I was hoping I could get help with this girl. I met her at a party a week ago, and within about 5 minutes of meeting her I was making out with her. We leave the party soon after. I asked her to come back to my place and she declined because she had to get up early which I new was true. So I walk her back to her place and kiss her good night. Flash forward to this weekend where after a week of texting I get her to come over to a small party at my house. I play beer pong with her and talk with her somewhat but she seems very cold. I am able to touch her somewhat but when I do sexual things like touch her butt she moved my hand away. So she left my house pretty abruptly, and becuase I didn't want to see her go that easy I texted her the next day. She basically told me she didn't like me that much in the first place and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, very harsh! I don't know what I did to upset her so much. Also, is it possible to still see this girl again or is it done?

Ah, this sounds like something that used to plague me all the time when I was starting out. It feels super-confusing when it happens to you, too – why on Earth would a girl who really, really liked you one night suddenly pull a complete 180 and be cold to you the next time you saw her? It’s bizarre and mystifying to us, because as men we don’t act that way. Either we like a girl, or we don’t like her. We don’t really, really like her, and then suddenly we hate her guts and treat her like a leper. It does not compute with us.

What causes this reaction in women, though, is in fact the making of the most painful mistake you can realize you’ve made in seduction – having a girl who wanted you but with whom you missed the window to bed her in.

Get Her Comfortable Alone With You

Chase Amante's picture

Every time I hear of other men’s efforts to get intimate with women they’ve brought home, they seem to have these elaborate places filled with all forms of entertainment and ways of engaging women and things to occupy them and give them something to do.

Guys bring girls home and get them playing Nintendo Wii together. Or they play some game like Jenga (I remember when this was a big craze on the West Coast a year back or so – any guy who wanted to be successful with women had to get a Jenga!). And then, presumably after beating their date at a few rounds of Wii Sports, they make their move and go to get intimate.

To me, this has always seemed like a lot of work. Early on, I had travel souvenirs that I would show to girls; but even then, I’d dive right into getting physical with them as quickly as possible. I noticed soon into my seduction career that the longer I took to get physical with women, the more awkward tension there was with them and the less sexual tension there was with them. The more time taken, the more awkwardness generated.

How to Escalate with Girls in Social Circle

Peter Fontes's picture

content="Pete dives into explaining how to take a girl you’re friends with socially and turn her into a lover of yours – without disrupting your circle (or her reputation).">

social circle escalateAnd off she went. That girl from my social circle kissing behind the bushes with that other dude. It's not like I was in love with her or anything, but damn I'd wanted to kiss her.

When I was in high school this kind of scenario would play out with girls at parties and social gatherings all the time. I had next to no understanding of what to do to actually attract these girls... and even had I known they were attracted, I had no idea how to move the interaction forward. I eventually resigned myself to the belief that I'd only get what came my way by chance.

You can probably relate to that in some way, shape, or form. In my first article on the 'Pros' and 'Cons' of social circle I gave you a broad overview of what to expect out of social circle. In this article we're going to get down to the nitty-gritty of what my adolescent self didn't know during my high school years: how to escalate on girls from your social circle.