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Dating

Simplify Your Dates

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By: Chase Amante

Just met with a client who is doing pretty well for himself – he slept with a few girls off a coaching session we had late last year, and is a likeable enough guy in his own right with plenty of women interested in him. During this evening’s session, we discussed a couple of different things, and one of the things we discussed was dating.

One of the things we touched on in dating was having “straightforward dates.” I mentioned how my dates these days typically entail a girl meeting me and going to a café or a bar with me, us having a little to eat and drink, then me inviting her home and us proceeding to get intimate together.

My client said I made it sound easy, but he didn’t think it was. I told him I didn’t really want to do the whole shopping / visiting art galleries / doing crazy things, and neither did the girl; we both just wanted to talk a bit, then get together, so why not just do that? Keep things to straightforward dating, basically.

What Regular Guys Don't Understand

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Today I found myself reading an article on the Washington Post’s website titled “Date Lab: A Matchmaking Year in Review”. It was all about these blind dates that the newspaper had sent people on throughout the year. I clicked through and read about each of the dates discussed, and paid attention to why the dates that didn’t pan out didn’t. For every single one of them, it came down to the same exact story as what I used to read when things didn’t work out in the monthly Pacific Beach magazine in Pacific Beach, San Diego, where they’d also have a blind date they sent a pair of readers out on each month.

I’ve come to the conclusion, based on my own experiences, that of friends, and of all these blind dates I’ve read about, that dating doesn’t work out the majority of the time because the guy doesn’t measure up. If you read about the blind dates that don’t work out in that Washington Post article, you’ll notice a similar thread through all of them: the guy says When I saw her, I definitely was physically attracted to her, and the girl says When I saw him, I instantly knew he was not my type.

Why is this so consistently the case?

Secrets to Getting Girls: Scrap Clever

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I’m a huge proponent of comparison and analysis. One of the things I always look at is success rates, how women talk about guys, and how those guys treat women. Something funny I noticed a while back about some differences in how some men communicate with women versus how some other men communicate with women struck a chord with me, and I modified my communication accordingly. Since then, it’s been stronger and easier, and women chase me more.

Sounds like a magic bullet, no? In a way, it kind of is. So here’s the secret formula: take all those times and instances where you’re being ultra clever, and… scrap clever. Toss it in the trash heap.

The Early Boyfriend: Why It's a Bad Idea

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Sometimes, a man will meet a woman he just hits it off with and really likes. He starts spending time with her, doing all kinds of activities with her, just the two of them together, and doing everything a good boyfriend would do – before he’s slept with her.

I call this being an “early boyfriend”, and it’s bad news for all sorts of hideous reasons.

early boyfriend

The bad: being an early boyfriend makes a woman lazy and complacent about actively working to move things forward. Women also take men for granted whom they haven’t become physical with – if a woman hasn’t slept with you yet, she’ll tell herself there’s a good reason why.

"I'm Picky"

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Here’s a short, powerful tip for getting girls feeling both attracted and special around you in a hurry: tell them you’re picky. Tell them you’re very picky – but you like them. And then have some valid reasons for why (them being beautiful does not count – there are a lot of beautiful women in the world!).

I picked this up originally from women I dated; it seems like every girl I date tells me she’s picky at some point or another. I’m not sure if that’s because I actually date mostly picky women, or if they just like to tell me that because they can tell I myself am picky. Regardless, it’s something I started telling women too: that I am picky.

i'm picky

Why "Fun" is a Seduction Killer

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By: Chase Amante

When a lot of guys plan dates, they seem to plan them with an attempt to address one specific concern:

How can I make this date fun?

fun is a seduction killer

The fear seems to be that if the date isn’t fun, a girl won’t want to go. And how can you move things forward with a girl who doesn’t want to go out with you?

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out and plan “fun” dates early on in my seduction career. I tried to be inventive, and innovative, and come up with engaging, exciting activities that my dates would not have experienced before.

Where Do You See This Going?

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where do you see this goingEvery man’s least favorite question to get: “Where do you see this going?” I seem to get this question a lot, personally, and after stumbling through it like a blind man a few times, I think I can recommend you a pretty reasonable approach to addressing it.

First, recognize that you’re likely getting this question because:

  1. You’re the kind of guy your girl wants to hold onto and keep around, and

Passive Screening in Relationships

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Once you’ve begun seeing a girl on a fairly regular basis, or you think you will likely start seeing her soon, you should be doing a lot of what I call passive screening in addition to any other screening you’re doing.

What’s passive screening? It is, quite simply, watching and learning. Keeping an eye on your woman’s actions, learning about her from. This is hands down the most effective way to really learn about your girl – how devoted is she, how much will she work for the relationship, how high or low risk is she.

Date Templates: Minimize Confusion, Maximize Returns

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date templatesDating is one of those things that can be a little ambiguous, even for guys who are relatively skilled in seduction in general. I know for me, it was an annoyance long after I’d reached a decent level of proficiency in meeting girls and taking them home quickly – that I could do fine, but dating was still a big unknown.