Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Do You HAVE to Be Your Group's Alpha to Look Good?

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By: Chase Amante

must you be alpha?When you go out with the guys, do you need to be the alpha male? What if your girlfriend is there and she’s watching – will she lose respect for you if you’re not alpha?

On my article about screening vs. qualifying, reader therock asked about the necessity of being the alpha male:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure there's an article about this specific issue on the site so I thought I'd ask.

I noticed a curious thing when I'm with my girlfriend in a social circle situation.

Say we're all going to get pizza, all close friends, including my girlfriend.

Now there's always someone who's in the lead.

Simple stuff like where to go, what to check out, etc

While I'm clearly in the leadership position with my girlfriend, I find myself in a situation where we're both being led by another guy.

I'm much more of an interpersonal leadership kinda guy. One to one with a girl I clearly lead. But in groups, it's a bit different.

I considered trying out leading he group but found it counter effective for these reasons:

1. One guy's gonna come out of top and if it's not me, I lose even more power points for trying AND failing.
2. Most of the time the guy was doing an excellent job at leading the group. He knows the best restaurants, knows where we'll have a good time (he knows the city much more than the rest of us). So no one's complaining. I've had situations where other guys made leadership faux pas and i jumped in, doing what's best for the group.
3. The leader is my friend, not hostile and never pulls crap like trying to flirt with my girlfriend.

My question to you: is it mandatory that I always lead any group I find myself in with my girlfriend?

What is its impact on attraction?

And what can one do to minimise the effects of being led by another man in front of his girl?

This is a good question, and it's a common one for guys who're starting out.

The answer is a bit nuanced, too.

Tactics Tuesdays: Sexual Frame Setting

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By: Chase Amante

sexual frame settingThere are a variety of tools you can use to set sexual frames. But they aren’t all best used at all the same times in a seduction. Here’s which to use and when.

On one of my articles, Finegirl asks:

Chase could you deepen alek's article on sexual frames where he talks about the chase frame and the inefficiency of direct, etc? It would be nice. Clarify these things and bring more examples of great techniques

Yeah sure. Let me take you through what Alek is talking about and give you a bit of my own take.

Alek gives a great run-down on the various ways sexual frames may set (either you set them or she does).

He doesn't go in-depth into any of these, as that was not the point of the piece. Most of them we cover elsewhere.

However, per Finegirl's request, I'll cover the key tactics and how they're best used in my opinion a bit more in-depth here.

Creepy Guys Do This 1 Specific Thing Cool Guys NEVER Do

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By: Chase Amante

creepy guys vs. cool guysCreepiness isn’t about how attractive you are. It’s about behavior. Creepy people behave in ways that set off alarms in others’ heads. Cool people don’t.

What is 'creepiness'?

How do you define it?

A lot of guys really dislike this term. There are all kinds of unfavorable definitions for it out there, such as "Creepy is just what a woman calls a man she does not find attractive."

But everyone's felt creeped out by someone at some point.

Even if you're a guy, I have no doubt you've felt creeped out. Whether by:

  • Some shifty character you suspected was getting ready to mug you

  • Some gay guy or transsexual you suspected wanted to get with you

  • Some lonely individual tagging along with you or your friend group

... you've probably been creeped out by someone.

So what is this 'creepy feeling', exactly?

In the past, I've defined creepiness as being a result of someone hiding his true intentions (see: How to Not Be a Creepy Guy). However, today we'll go deeper still.

You see, there are certain rules that govern 'creepiness'.

The better you know them, the better you will be at not triggering the 'creepy switch'.

Tactics Tuesdays: Bedroom Role-Playing

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By: Chase Amante

bedroom role-playSpice up your sex life with a little bedroom role-playing. You might not realize it, but she’s got fantasies – and you can bring them to life with just a bit of imagination.

This is a pleasant tactic to spice up sex sessions with both short- and long-term lovers.

It's the bedroom equivalent of our more general seduction role-playing tactic (which you can use outside the bedroom as well).

It works because, well, women are naughty girls who enjoy a dirty man.

Odds are your woman conjures fantasies some of the time while you're railing her.

She may or may not have talked to you about this.

Not all women will. Many fear you'll judge them... or that they'll hurt your pride or make you jealous if they do.

But just like sometimes you might imagine the girl you're giving it to is actually some actress, porn star, or pretty female workmate of yours, or else some other more idealized fantasy woman from a scenario you've cooked up in your head, women do this too.

Rather than stick to your own private fantasies while she sticks to hers, you may opt to have your fantasies join forces... and behold the power of the joint bedroom role-play.

Helping Women Solve Their Problems

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By: Chase Amante

helping women solve problemsWomen will tell you about their problems. But what can you do to help? Can you solve them yourself? Even if you can (or could)… should you?

One of the most aggravating disconnects between men and women is our approach to problems.

When a man has a problem, he wants to solve it. When he talks about it, he's in search of solutions.

When a woman has a problem, she wants to vent. When she talks about it, she's in search of a friendly ear. If someone has some great ideas on how to fix her problem, she'll be irritated by it, because that person is trying to fix things, instead of just listening.

Women throughout your life are going to bring you their problems.

This can end up an endlessly aggravating situation for both parties, as the male-female problem-solving approaches clash.

If you cannot find a way to resolve it, all you'll end up with is two very aggravated people.

How to Stop Being Invisible to Women

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By: Chase Amante

how to stop being invisible to womenDo women not notice you’re there? Are you… invisible to women? If so, there are a few key reasons why. And the solutions are not as hard as you might think.

I spent most of my teens and early twenties alone and depressed.

The one constant thought in my mind, the biggest source of despair, was over how invisible I was to women.

Tactics Tuesdays: Talking/Singing to Yourself

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By: Chase Amante

talking/singing to yourselfWomen notice men singing/talking to themselves. You can use this as an effective ‘attention grab’ (i.e., way to get women signaling you) to make approaching a little easier.

Quick tactical tip today.

Sometimes I like to sing or talk quietly to myself as I walk down the sidewalk.

Or as I'm sitting somewhere in a café or bar or park or wherever else I might be.

10 Lessons from Having Mistresses and Consorts

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By: Chase Amante

mistresses and consortsWhen a woman’s exclusive to you but you aren’t to her, you see sides of female behavior most men never will. Acceptance, exuberance, and societal convergence are just some of what you discover.

Over the years I've had a variety of relationships where the woman was sexually/romantically exclusive to me, but not I to her.

I learned the techniques to set up and manage relationships like this from an old instructor of mine, who'd often maintain 5-7 girlfriends at once, with 2-3 of them as serious relationships.

This was a lot more common in the early days of the seduction community. Men called them 'mLTRs' then (short for 'multiple long-term relationships'). Many of the guys running mLTRs didn't ask for (or weren't able to get) exclusivity from their girls. But some of them did.

Because pretty much all my romantic experience came post-discovering the seduction community, I dove right in, and went into setting up mLTRs from my very first relationships. I was a young dumb kid, dating women who were a lot more experienced than he was, and I figured it wouldn't work and I'd get laughed out of these girls' apartments and lives... but to my surprise, it did.

I've tended to call this setup 'one-sided monogamy' when I've mentioned it on this site. But since I'm talking about it here, I've realized this term, while descriptive, doesn't sound great, and doesn't really do the relationship justice. (while only one party is monogamous, the relationship itself is not 'one-sided')

So for this piece, we'll just call these women you have in a relationship like this 'consorts' or 'mistresses'.

Texting 101: Do Manipulative Texting Tactics Work?

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By: Chase Amante

manipulative texting tacticsIf a girl’s not responding over text, should you resort to “texting dirty”? While dirty texting tactics can work, there’s a better, non-dirty way to get a response than these.

A reader emailed in recently to ask my opinion on several texting tactics he'd come across. One was from a texting course called "The Scrambler", while the other is from a negotiation book that uses a tactic to force a "no."

Seduction advice often gets a bad rap as 'manipulation', even though most of it's not. I've talked about this several times over the years, including in "Is Seduction Wrong?" (also in "Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?").

However, there's a kernel of truth in every stereotype, and the reason seduction so often gets classed as manipulation is because there are men out there who use dirty manipulation tactics.

They use these tactics because they CAN work... but there's a "but."

The "but" is that they don't work as well as superior non-manipulative tactics, and that even when they do work they tend to trigger resentment toward you.

Both the tactics our reader stumbled upon were tactics I consider negatively manipulative. I'll introduce you to them, talk about why they're negative, and discuss some alternatives in this piece.

Tactics Tuesdays: When Girls Try to Lead, Be the Prize

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By: Chase Amante

girls try to leadSometimes you’re trying to get somewhere with a girl but she’s just so assertive. What can you do with girls who take the lead? Simple: you just be the prize.

A short while back, one of our forum members shared a report of his in which a girl at a club managed to pry a free drink from him, then keep him following her for much of the night.

He's not an inexperienced guy, and was a bit confused at what happened with her. It seemed like she was into him... however, she continually deflected his requests while making her own (and getting him to comply).

Sometimes you will meet girls like this, who aren't interested in all at following, but will try to lead with you.

These may not always be girls who are disinterested in you. Sometimes they may just be very strong, assertive personality-type women.

If you leave things in their hands, you'll rarely end up with them.

What you must do instead with girls who want to lead is to switch up your strategy:

You must focus, even more than usual, on being the prize.