Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Cuffing Season Is Real (Here's Why It Happens)

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By: Chase Amante

cuffing seasonPeople ‘cuff’ mates into short-term relationships during cuffing season. Why do they do it – and who does it more, men or women? Our survey tells the tale…

As we enter October, 'cuffing season' begins.

Cuffing season is the time of year people enter into seasonal (winter) romances. The season occurs from October through March. Cuffing season romances are short; only long enough to last the holidays. During cuffing season, people seek partners more relationship-worthy than those they usually date. The majority of these relationships however end before summer.

We gathered these and other insights from a survey we ran to American adults. We also discovered a few other surprising facts about the phenomenon of cuffing a partner down when the temperatures dip low.

Tactics Tuesdays: Anchor Her Attraction

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By: Chase Amante

attraction anchoringGive a girl a way to recall her attraction to you with an “attraction anchor.” Attraction anchors are things you do or get a woman to do that she’s likely to remember later.

Have you ever approached a girl, who was clearly attracted to you, done everything right with her, left her smiling, had her contact info in-hand as you did so, and then... never heard from her again?

Sure you have. It's the pox of every even halfway active dater.

It can send you into a tailspin trying to figure out what went wrong. Everything seemed perfect. You executed the approach perfect. The girl responded to you perfectly in every way.

So why did she vanish once you left, and never respond to your texts, voice/video messages, or calls again?

The answer is because attraction has an expiration date, and if you fail to make a strong enough impression, that expiration date may often be "as soon as you leave her side."

What can you do to prevent attraction expiring while you're away from her?

Anchor her attraction to things likely to stick in her mind.

Social Skills 101: Engaging People with Small Talk

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By: Chase Amante

TEXTSmall talk serves important social functions in the early conversation. Being good at it enables you to have better, more fluid conversations with those you talk to.

In our next installment in the Social Skills 101 series (see Part 1 on why basic social skills are so key here, and Part 2 on approaching unfamiliar people here), we'll talk about everyone's least favorite part of conversation, small talk.

Small talk is the bane of many an objective-oriented conversationalist, and not always for the same reasons:

  • Some loathe small talk and try to move past it or skip it entirely wherever possible

  • Others view small talk as necessary, yet become trapped in it, unable to free themselves from it

Let's discuss what small talk is, the function it serves in conversation, and how to use it without bogging down in inane conversation you can't break free of.

Opening Girls Training Exercises

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By: Chase Amante

opening girls exercisesIs your opening in a rut (or you aren’t opening many girls at all right now)? Try one of these exercises to get yourself opening again, and “freshen up” your approaching.

Every guy could be a little better at opening girls.

Further, anytime you've stumbled across a new opener, you've probably gone on a bit of tear, haven't you?

Tactics Tuesdays: "You're Cute But What Else?"

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By: Chase Amante

looks-dismissing screeningHow do you approach a girl whose head is big over all the compliments she’s been fending off? By disqualifying her looks… and getting her to tell you what else she has going on instead.

Today we're going to talk about an old Mystery technique from back in the day.

Perhaps we should call it "Throwbacks Tuesdays" instead of "Tactics Tuesdays"!

The technique in question is the looks-disqualifying screen. You use it on hot girls who know they're hot in situations where men fawn over their looks. The point: remove a woman's sense of looks-based self-importance and cause her to qualify herself to you on qualities of hers not so readily on display.

The standard line for this is, "You're cute, but what else you do you have going on for you?" said in a way as if you're a bit bored with the fact that she "is cute" and are half-interested to know if there's anything more to her than appearance.

This tactic is deadly in certain situations. It's very well optimized for scenarios where women have big heads (and thus, high walls) due to confidence in their appearances.

That said, in other situations, it's unnecessary, and possibly tone-deaf, so let's look at when to use it before we dive into the details on how to apply it.

How Do You Make Strict Girlfriend Standards Work?

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By: Chase Amante

strict girlfriend standardsAs an experienced dater, how do you juggle strict standards for girlfriends vs. the qualifying girls’ rarity? What must you compromise on to get the women you want?

Writing on my article "Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?", a reader asks:

So Chase how often do you compromise on your stated standards for women you would want as girlfriends? Because when you have described it over the years it's so strict and stringent to me it seems impossible to find a woman like that consistently. If your expectations are for her to be beautiful,curvy and busty,but slim without needing to workout at the gym,have a master's,be raised by two parents,only have a few sexual partners and never a casual one,never goes out at night,not a vocal feminist and have compatability plus mutual attraction with you it sounds like finding a needle in a haystack. I know your standards have increased over the years,but it sounds impractical to only date women who meet ALL of these criteria so surely there are instances where a woman doesn't have all of these?

I think that's a reasonable question.

I don't know how helpful it will be to the average reader -- maybe more of a curiosity? -- but perhaps my thinking/process on girlfriend selection may be of use to some.

How Likely Are You to Succeed? The Learner-Motivation Quadrant

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By: Chase Amante

learner motivationEvery learner falls into one of the four (4) learner-motivation profiles. Achievers find success, Plateauers get stuck, Protestors protest, while Onlookers hang back.

I've been teaching in this space for over a decade-and-a-half now.

What Do You Want with Girls? Let's Map that Out

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By: Chase Amante

dating success mapWithout a map you’ll almost never reach an unfamiliar destination. If you want to succeed with women, you need a little navigation to get there.

What's your aim with women? Have you thought about it?

When you go out to talk to girls, are you just going out randomly or is there a purpose?

Do you go out to try some techniques, and maybe they work or maybe they don't, then you go out another day and try again?

Men who are successful improving rapidly with women walk a fine line between having clear intentions while remaining outcome independent. Most guys err too far on one side of the other of this.

You get guys who have clear intentions... but they get really attached to outcomes. Every outing is an emotional roller coaster ride as they deal with things going or not going their way (often for reasons outside their control).

Then you get guys who are outcome independent... but who have fuzzy intentions. They go out, talk to girls, don't take it personal when it doesn't go their way, but sort of hang about listlessly experimenting with this or that in an undirected way.

Mapping out your desired end goals with women and thinking it through clearly can be a big help to actually getting where you want to get go with girls.

Of course, you must build your map in the most useful way.

Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?

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By: Chase Amante

you and your girlfriend a fitWhen it comes to choosing girls, especially for long-term relationships, how perfect a fit must a girl be? Can you be too picky, waiting for too clear a sign?

I know a guy who has these baffling (to me) relationships.

His stated objective is to find a wife.

He will find women who enter into relationships with him, whom he considers marriageable. These women talk to him about wanting something serious, tell him he's the best and most exciting guy they've been with; some of them even talk about marriage with him, or about him impregnating them.

He never moves things forward and always keeps his relationships at a kind of "casual+" level.

The women get frustrated and begin asking him what he wants with them, causing drama, telling him they cannot get a read on him and don't know what his intentions are.

He takes this as a sign their interests are not aligned, and begins having doubts / pulling back.

Eventually women break up with him in frustration, which he concludes meant they were never right for each other to begin with. Or sometimes he breaks up with them in annoyance at the drama, concluding they weren't looking for what he is.

He then begins picking up again, still looking for a wife. He's been repeating this process, over and over, for 20 years. He often says he thinks when he finds the right woman, it will just click.

With his most recent girlfriend, after she laid all her cards out on the table, told him he's the best guy she's been with in a long, long time, told him she wants a baby with him, then said she can't get a read on what he wants, his response to her was, "Well since you're not clear on what you want, we can take it day by day."

When I saw this confounding display, it got me thinking about the psychology there.

Because I have seen other men do things like this too.

And to me it's always looked inexplicable! What is a guy like this thinking, in doing things this way?

Well, it was inexplicable, until I really dug into it.

Today I'm going to talk about how people evaluate other people's wants and aims.

I'm going to talk about deciding what things someone says or wants matter vs. which don't.

Then we're going to talk about how people decide who's a fit for them -- and how they decide who isn't.

Social Skills 101: Approaching Unfamiliar People

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By: Chase Amante

approach unfamiliar peopleApproaching strangers demands a variety of social skills many people never fully develop. You need a reason to approach, to make sure you’re seen, and to be friendly, to start.

This is Part 2 of my reboot of our old 'Social Skills 101' series.

You can see Part 1, with a video breakdown of various socially unsavvy approaches, here.

In Part 2, we're going to talk about approaching strangers.

If all you want is solid social skills, stranger approach isn't completely necessary (though it is helpful). There are plenty of highly socially skilled people who aren't able to approach strangers.

However, I think it's good to begin with, since a.) a big part of this site is devoted to cold approach, and b.) in the event you're starting off at zero socially, as I did, to even talk to people at all you'll need to start approaching strangers.

So let's dive into approaching and opening people you don't know -- a painfully awkward, uncalibrated social situation for most (even many otherwise veteran socializers who yet never learned to approach strangers).