Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

8 Obnoxious Female Behaviors that Are Actually Signs of Interest

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By: Chase Amante

obnoxious signs of interestNot all women have class. Some women only have crass. If a girl’s signaling her interest to you in a rude, obnoxious way, it is still interest… whether you act on it or not.

I talked with a friend recently who mentioned being around a bunch of American girls after having been out of the country for a while. One of the girls obviously liked him. Then she started talking to other girls in ear-shot of him about all the guys she'd had sex with.

My friend found this a complete turnoff and lost all interest in the girl. He's no newbie; he's been with a lot of girls. He just does not like this kind of classless, crass behavior. Regardless, he knew this girl was most likely putting on this display to signal sexual availability to him.

I said yeah, I've had a bunch of girls who obviously liked that do that to me over the years... like you, I find it a turnoff. It is mostly American girls I've had do this to me too. Though come to think of it as I write this now I've had a few non-American girls who have done things like this also.

If you like classy girls, you are going to find the behavior above and many of the other behaviors we'll talk about below distasteful. Because what it is is, obviously, a lack of class; the girl has no more refined way to signal her receptiveness or availability to you, so goes for 'crassy' instead of 'classy'.

Yet if she's doing it in a situation where the other signs there are pointing to her being interested in you, then it is almost certainly a sign of interest.

So let's take a look at some of the various rude, crude, unclassy behaviors girls will engage in that are actually (much of the time) signs of interest / sexual availability signals.

Depending on your classiness preference, you may find these behaviors turnoffs... or they might be right up your alley.

PSA: Don't Chide Girls/Society; Stay Sane

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By: Chase Amante

stay saneWhen things are getting crazy, you can let the crazy get you, or you can keep a cool head. Don’t give in to the weirdness; keep your head screwed on straight.

I am seeing guys increasingly having trouble dealing with some of the social weirdness going on right now.

There are a couple of parallel mass hysterias happening at the moment. Almost everyone has been driven into one or the other of them at this point. That's what hysterias do... they push people to extremes and force them to pick sides.

We have been having guys vent on the forum about women buying into the mass panic. Others are debating whether they should relocate (to avoid lockdowns/lifestyle restrictions) or comply with various measures (or, if not, risk losing their livelihoods). It's rational to have concerns... any time anyone is pushing something on you, trying to force something on you, it's wise to be careful and move prudently.

However, no matter what is going on around you, if all the world's gone mad, even if people are forcing you to do things at gunpoint, whatever it is, you've got to keep a cool head.

You've got to keep a cool head for your own sake, and you've got to keep a cool head for the sake of anyone dependent or reliant on you in any way.

You will find, if you can keep a cool head, things rarely turn out as bad as you fear.

How Soon to See Her Again (After a Previous Date)

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By: Chase Amante

how soon to see herWhen should you plan your next date with her for? It depends on a few “next date determiners”, including her eagerness, both your busyness, and more.

How soon should you see a girl again after the date you just had?

Should it be the next day, a few days later, a week, or more?

Timing for your next date will often be crucial. Rush it, and you can seem over-eager or too available.

Delay too long, though, and your date may decide you aren't interested and auto-reject... or someone else may snap her up while you're waiting. Or life may intervene (she gets busy, a loved one dies, her job moves her away to Alaska, etc.).

We'll look at a few crucial factors that help determine how long (or short) you should wait to plan that next date with her.

Zero-Sum Power Dynamics & Empowering Others

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By: Chase Amante

zero-sum powerWhen people want power from you, they may pretend it’s in your interest, too. But is it? Power grabs may be cooperative, competitive, or competitive masquerading as cooperative.

I'm going to give you a way to think about power that will make many things in life clearer to you.

It is the perspective that contests of power are always zero-sum games, where anytime one person gains power, another loses it. There is no 'free creation of power' from nothing into a kind of power void. Power is always either seized or yielded by one person or group from/to others.

However, it is possible for individuals or entities to work together against external competitors to increase power jointly, at the expense of some external opponent.

You have probably been taught to not think about power this way.

You have been taught that power is 'inclusive'; that you can have power, and someone else can have power, and everyone can have power!

But the actual fact of the matter is power is exclusive; the more power one person or entity accrues, the more someone or something else loses it.

This is necessary to understand for interpersonal dynamics, and understanding societal power dynamics as well.

Why Don't All Beautiful Girls Sleep Around?

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By: Chase Amante

beautiful girls sleep aroundShe’s beautiful. She can sleep with anyone she wants to. So, if she’s a beautiful girl, why WOULDN’T she sleep around with every hot guy she can get?

Commenting on my article on picking up girls with a jealousy plotline, a reader asks:

Hey Chase,

I've gotten together with a girl I met in a cafe.

That marks my first lay ever from day game!

It was not super straightforward to get her in bed but I managed.

She's beautiful, very smart, great personality, pretty good body- amazing girl.

The thing which shocks me is this:

After sleeping together, I casually asked her how many partners she's had before. I always do this and never come across as judgemental, so chicks always give me the full list, including guys who don't "really count"

So I know she's been honest with and freely opened up. She told me she had one serious boyfriend and that's it. One partner only.

I asked "What about any casual wild adventures? Some naughty action at parties or something?" She laughed and said she's not really a party kinda of person. She can drink socially but never got drunk and passed out and she despises clubs.

I guess what really confuses me is: if she's telling the truth, why on earth would a sexy girl like her not hook up? Guys check her out all the time, I'm sure they must have hit on her. It's so easy for her to have sex, yet she claims she only had one serious boyfriend.

It does not make sense to me because beautiful women can get sex on demand, so why on earth would she not use that opportunity?

It's interesting the range of expectations you see among men for what beautiful women's sex lives must look like.

There are men who expect the most beautiful women to be almost virginal. There are others who expect them to be total nymphomaniacs.

The actual truth of course is beautiful women are just like normal women.

They have the same kind of range in sexual inclinations and experience you find in the general population of girls: some with many lovers, some with few, most somewhere in the middle... with the added twist that as women get more beautiful, they trend toward fewer overall lifetime sex partners.

But... why?

Why wouldn't these girls, given the opportunity to hook up with so many hot guys, indulge?

Or, on the flip side, given the ability to not have to hook up, why wouldn't they stay virgins till marriage?

8 Ways to Differentiate Yourself with Women

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By: Chase Amante

differentiate yourself with womenMen who stand out in attractive ways attract far more women. There are many ways to stand out: peacocking, behavior, social proof, standout items, stages, and more.

In a previous article, I mentioned differentiating yourself with women who are used to being hit on all the time. A reader asked for more tips like this one might use to stand out with girls:

Hi chase but this concept of appearing different that in this case you do it through this technique for this type of woman how to do it in general and with different types of women? Or on women who are not like that you just have to build rapport, generate emotions and carry things forward?

It's a great question, because 'standing out' is a big part of what we do. If you can differentiate yourself from other guys... if you can stand out from the crowd and intrigue women... it makes the job of meeting and getting somewhere with girls much easier.

There are different ways a man can stand out, and guys will tend to focus on different ways to do it.

Which makes sense; if everyone tried standing out the same way, no one would actually stand out, right?

I'm going to give you the eight (8) most useful ways to differentiate yourself from the crowd.

Before we get to those ways to differentiate though, first we need to talk about standing out in general.

Learning to Love Women

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By: Chase Amante

learning to love womenIf you’ve been hurt by women, can you ever become a lover of women? To love women is not to ignore their flaws, but to enjoy them for their blessings.

I have always loved women.

They haven't always been perfectly kind to me. On some (fleeting) occasions, women have really been quite cruel to me. Of course, I don't think of it as "she is being so cruel to me!" because that is not how I think about things... instead I think, at worst, "Geez, here is an unpleasant person!"

I'm not a masochist; I don't stay in bad situations, and I am rather ruthless about cutting value-draining people from my life, including unpleasant or nasty women.

However, my dislike for a particular unpleasant person (or woman) does not dent my overall warmth toward womankind in general.

In this way, I suppose I'm opposite a great many men, who seem to have a general distrust of womankind, and instead busy themselves seeking out a singular "good woman" who is "not like the rest" to lash their hopes and dreams to.

Indeed, this is a human thing to do: there are just as many women distrustful of most men yet who search restlessly for that "one good man" who is "not like all the rest", just as men search for that among women.

Not every man may want to move from general distrust + "seeking the exception" to something closer to how I view women.

However, should you wish it, let me lay out a path for you to this kind of thinking.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Friendly

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By: Chase Amante

be friendlyA simple tactic that makes gobs of difference: just be friendly. Opening’s easier, hooking’s easier, and social proof becomes well-nigh automatic.

Here's a deceptively simple tactic:

Be friendly to every person you encounter.

Just yesterday we talked about conflict escalation and the dog-eat-dog world inside the prison system.

The good news is, you're a free man, and you're not in that kind of world. In this world, unless you venture into a bad part of town, you can and should be friendly to everybody.

Any time I've felt some rust or a renewed sense of approach anxiety, "be friendly to people" is the primary tactic I use to shake that off. Alek followed this same advice recently when he sought to warm up his social momentum after over a year of almost uninterrupted citywide lockdowns. It's simple, basic advice but it really works.

"Be friendly" has a ton of upsides for getting yourself approaching more easily with a lot less fear.

If you've only been doing targeted approaching -- where the only people you approach are sufficiently good-looking girls -- you may well find this alternate tactic a breath of fresh air.

Respect Maintenance: Conflict Escalation & De-escalation

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By: Chase Amante

escalating a confrontationWhen you find yourself in a conflict, you can back down… or you can escalate. How far should you take it? How do you know what the right thing to do is? A few simple rules can guide you.

I recently binge-read a series of colorful Quora answers from ex-convict Matthew Holmes. Holmes was someone who grew up, more or less, inside the US penitentiary system, and shares advice on how to survive the hostile conditions there. He contrasts the prison world with the outside world; inside the prison system, a prisoner's life is a Hobbesian war of all-against-all, where there is no real law and no one you can trust to have your back but you.

One of the many repeating sentiments in Holmes's prison advice is you must be prepared to defend your reputation at any time, and go to almost any length to do so. Holmes stopped short of killing anyone in prison (as doing so would've added an automatic life sentence to his 10-year term), but came close to it on several occasions, where he severely beat inmates who tried to fight or rob from him.

In terms of general principles, I'd call his approach to conflict "always escalate a confrontation until you win."

For some time, I've followed 'always escalate' as a general (but not absolute) rule. I generally follow it with:

  • Girlfriend drama
  • Some business disputes
  • Some physical confrontations
  • Moral high ground debates
  • Any kind of interpersonal argument

However, the real world isn't a penitentiary. It is not (for the most part) a Hobbesian situation of all-against-all.

Thus, much of the time, you will not want to continue escalating to the extremes in real life situations. In many cases it's counterproductive; the gains you get from continuing to escalate outweigh the costs.

Today I want to talk about the 'always escalate' philosophy -- which is one I've long found helpful -- and where the limits are to it where you decide to hop off that train and not always escalate.

If Every Girl's a Bitch, You're Doing Something Wrong

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By: Chase Amante

every girl's a bitchDoes it seem like most girls are awful, horrid, mean-spirited bitches? If it does, it’s a sign you’re doing something wrong – and that’s a good thing (it means you can fix it).

Does it seem to you that almost every girl you meet is just an unnecessarily mean person?

Do you ever find yourself wondering why so many girls are just horrid, ruthless bitches?

Commenting on my article that "Female Bad Behavior Is Often Defensive", Xander writes:

Ok. I agree if bad behavior is one-off interaction that doesn’t mean anything. However, even in this case if that negative reaction is overly negative i.e. overly expressed toward guy (and most women do this at least where I live) that is also the sign that particular woman can be considered as bad person. Many guys (at least what I have seen) don’t do overly annoying things with women and still get overly negative reactions from uninterested/unsure/insecure women.

Also, what I have seen is that the majority of women where I live rarely changes previously negative attitude toward guy. If she is negative during approach, initial interaction or later in courtship she stays that way no matter what guy will do. In live interactions they are rude, bitchy, aloof or disrespectful and it just increases no matter what new tech or moment guy will choose. In online/text interactions they ghost immediately after 2-3 messages, no matter how message is interesting, non-pushy, polite and easy to reply.

I feel sad whenever I read comments like these, for the person who writes them, because you know that person's dating life is hard.

I have read many, many comments by men talking about how horrible most women are. I have also read many, many analogous comments by women panning men (on various Reddit boards and what have you; here's an article about how horrid men are to women, with a bunch of women commenting their bad experiences).

If you take these comments at face value, both most men and most women are absolutely loathsome people: bad dates, bad lovers, and almost all men and women are totally undatable, unpleasant individuals.

It makes you wonder how the species perpetuates itself at all.

Of course, the reality is most men and most women are actually just fine, normal, nice, pleasant people... but that people who have continually negative experiences cause this in others, or misinterpret that from others, almost always without realizing they're causing it or misinterpreting it.