Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

What to Do When the Girl You Open Is Neutral or Negative

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

open a girl who is neutral or negativeIf you open a girl in conversation, but her response is neutral or negative, what then? Follow these steps when you get less-than-stellar responses to your opens.

Hey all. I hope you are doing fine. Today I will resume where we left discussing opening and hooking. Last time I mentioned how some openers contain embedded hooks while others do not and reviewed factors defining whether your opener can lead to a potential hook and when you should focus on hook game.

Today I want to drill down further on opening and hooking. One of my experienced students pointed out that despite his level, there is no such thing as “talking too much about opening and hooking,” and I fully agree.

So, let’s discuss what to do when the hook is absent and the response is negative, neutral, or not as positive as you’d like after you deliver your opener.

The negative response sucks; usually, it’s a rejection, and there’s little confusion about what is happening.

Neutral vibes are confusing. Should you stay, or should you leave? The “not as positive as you’d like” response is likely the worst because you feel a sense of hope, yet the vibe is not positive enough to move, isolate, escalate the vibe, and push the interaction forward. It’s a common situation. You feel that things are working out, the girl seems positive, yet it seems like the interaction is going nowhere. Most men start believing that as long as they keep interacting, sooner rather than later, she will crack, and she just needs more time.

Not so. In those situations, it is better to make a move at the risk of losing the girl than be stuck in an interaction that goes nowhere. So, make that move!

I have more to say but thought it would be better to dedicate a post (next week) because this situation is one many men face, and it is not necessarily all about the hooking phase.

With that said, let’s concentrate on hooking and how to handle positive, neutral, and negative responses.

How to Talk to Beautiful Girls: 2 Game-Changing Tips

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to talk to beautiful girlsMost guys’ knees turn to jelly when they meet a gorgeous girl. There’re two secrets to talking to beautiful girls: be chill about beauty and SHOW you are.

There’s an old Mystery line that goes: “Beauty is common. What’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life.”

The line works splendidly, especially for the types Mystery most often used it on, because these types were/are in environments where they held status and were drowning in drooling male suitors. Most of the male attention they receive is men fawning over their looks. So when a cool guy casually dismisses looks as important, and challenges them to qualify themselves on something else, all of a sudden, the pattern they were in has been interrupted – and often they respond by qualifying or even starting to chase.

But is beauty really common? Actually, it is!

Starting out, a lot of guys don’t realize the commonness of beauty. They instead blow it up. They encounter a beautiful girl and their knees go weak. Then they encounter another beautiful girl and their knees go weak again. Then they encounter yet another beautiful girl and their knees go weak a third time.

The better a man can internalize how common beauty is, the easier it gets for him to approach and seduce beautiful women.

Tactics Tuesdays: Transitioning from Social to Intimate

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction transition: social to intimateThe switch from social to intimate vibes with a girl is tricky. It won’t always take. Girls may resist. Yet, switch right, and seduction gets smoother.

Commenting on my article “Girls Don’t WANT You to Move Slow”, James D. references my stages of a successful date and asks about making the transition from a social vibe to a more intimate one. He says

Chase,

Based off this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date

My sticking point is skipping step 6.

After the arrival of sexual topics and vibe (step 5) and I go straight for step 7 (extraction)

Could you please advise on ways to move off that sticking point?

This is a common sticking point for intermediate seducers. Once you get good enough at ‘running the game’, you will find you can easily get deep into solid interactions with girls. The girl is clearly attracted to you. She is eating up your conversation. Things are looking great.

There’s just one problem: everything so far has been flirtatious, yes, there’s touch, sure – but the vibe is a conversational one. You need to switch it to a more intimate vibe. How can you do that?

James D. is doing something I did for a while too, where you decide, “Screw it, the vibe isn’t quite intimate, but hey – we’ve got a good thing going. I’m just going to push things forward and see if I can get her alone somewhere.”

It works sometimes. Other times, despite how seemingly into you the girl may be, she balks at this escalation into the more intimate when vibe-wise she wasn’t ready for it.

If you don’t want her balking, you’re going to need to make that transition a little more smoothly.

Excel at Relationships with Relationship Prizing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

relationship prizingRelationships fail if you stop viewing yourself as a ‘prize’. Yet, maintain an image as the prize of the relationship and they can remain good indefinitely.

Indulge me for a moment if you will.

I want to tell you something, but it isn’t to brag.

You see, I’m the best thing that could ever happen to a woman.

It doesn’t matter if a woman I’m seeing calls me names or acts like I’m a jerk.

It doesn’t matter if buddies of mine tell me I could treat my women “better than I do.”

Regardless what happens or people say or do, I continue to view myself as the ultimate prize for a woman. It might sound deluded or egotistical, or maybe just plain silly, but I can tell you one thing for sure: it works.

Relationships go how I want them to go. When we hit rocky points, things by and large resolve how I want. Women, no matter how annoyed at me they might get, in the end decide I’m really just an amazing guy. Often I don’t need to do anything special for them to decide that, other than just stick to the frame: I am the prize.

Friends (when not commenting that I could/should “treat women better”) tell me it’s amazing how my relationships remain good and women remain enamored with me over the long-term.

It’s not amazing to me though. I am the prize in my relationships. Why would my relationships NOT stay awesome?

Hooking a Girl Into Talking with You at the Opener

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

openers and hooksStarting a conversation with a girl gets easier when you can hook her right at the opener. Certain openers let you do this… as can sufficient attraction.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today I’ll discuss a topic that is never over-discussed: hooking.

What is hooking? It is immersing the girl in the interaction. You start as a stranger approaching her and become a guy having a mutual exchange. I wouldn’t say it is “knowing” her, but you are moving closer to that point. You become a cool, interesting, and sexy guy who she is okay talking to, her peers are okay talking to, and who she pays attention to.

A successful hook gives you the feeling of being “in.”

I have written many posts about this subject. Some call it the “transition phase,” the phase after the opener when you move from breaking the ice to having a conversation. I prefer the word hooking.

There are several techniques to help you hook:

The list goes on. You have many options.

When Girls Act Flakey After You Hook Up

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl acts flakey after sexJust because a woman sleeps with you once doesn’t mean she’s yours… yet. Sometimes she may flake or ghost after sex. There exist 3 chief reasons why.

Over on the forum, a new member asked for insight on a girl he’d slept with who’d gone flakey. More accurately, in his case, she’d already been flakey before they hooked up… and merely continued to flake after it:

This girl was social circle but very fringe (I’ll get to that). We met a year ago and kicked it off one night but I didn’t attempt to escalate. Her friend told my friend she liked me and wanted to go home with me but I didn’t even go for number or anything (big miss on my part).

Despite social circle, she was fringe enough that we didn’t see each other again (except for once in passing) until 4 months ago when our friends offered to set us up. We went out and kicked it off and she gave me an escalation window but once again I didn’t sleep with, just got her number and asked her out.

We set up a date a week later and she flaked an hour before. Rescheduled 2 weeks later and it wasn’t a great date, she had plans after so no chance to escalate. She dodged my next invite so I went silent for 6 weeks and reconnected with her about 2 months ago. She seemed excited and agreed to go out.

We went out about 6 weeks ago, had a super fun night, ended up having sex (finally). I tried to parlay this into another hang out, when I asked her out again she told me she’d check her schedule and get back to me. She never did. Effectively ghosted. I saw her twice since then (ran into her in public) and both times she flirted a little but at this point I’m waiting for her to make the move.

Guess I’m just looking for some input on why she ghosted me after sex/what I can do next time to not make a girl who likes me go cold on me.

Does it seem weird that a girl would act flakey toward a guy, then sleep with him anyway?

Is it odd that after sleeping with a guy, she would continue to flake (or start to)?

Read on, and let’s discuss why this happens, and whether there’s anything you can do.

Tactics Tuesdays: Firefighting Romantic Screwups

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

romantic firefightingWhat do you do when you screw up with a girl? Maybe you looked needy, or you accidentally spurned her. Either way, now it’s time for a little firefighting.

Sometimes you are going to screw up with girls.

Perhaps she told you she loves to paint and you blurted out not to quit her day job. Maybe you were supposed to meet her at 3:30 PM but for some reason you thought it was at 5:30 PM and stood her up. Or it could be she hinted for you to move things forward but you missed her signal entirely and just kept chatting with her normally until she started acting disappointed.

Hey, it happens to the best of us. We all screw up sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.

Assuming you haven’t screwed up so bad that all hope is lost, however, you are going to need to firefight. But the WAY you firefight a romantic screwup is going to depend on what kind of screwup it is… how egregiously you screwed up… and how urgent the turnaround must be.

Lonely Low Value Men (in the Sexual Marketplace)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

lonely low value menLow value men struggle to get any women at all. High value women ignore them. Low value women pursue high value men for flings. Why must this be so?

Over the years a lot of guys have wandered onto Girls Chase claiming that attractive, non-slutty women are unicorns. These men say such women either do not exist, or are exceptionally rare. Other times they may claim they do exist, but have standards so high as to make them unobtainable.

My experience is that attractive, non-slutty women are abundant. In fact, my experience has been the majority of attractive women fall into the “non-slutty” category. Nor have I found these women hard to get. My big struggle in seduction early on was getting the slutty girls… I could get them sometimes, but I had a much harder time bedding these women with any consistency as a novice seducer into my intermediate years. (the issue of course was attainability. Once I fixed that, I could get the slutty girls too.)

I’m not the only guy with this perspective or who had this set of “problems” (i.e., hot/conservative girls easy to get; slutty, sexually open girls harder to get); many other Girls Chase readers and some of the seducers I’ve known have had this same experience.

What is the difference between a guy who just cannot get good-looking, non-slutty girls at all, versus a guy who struggles to get anything BUT these types of girls?

The answer is his value in the sexual marketplace – because if a man’s sexual market value is not high enough, not only will he struggle to get low value women to commit to him, but he won’t even see high value women as realistic, attainable options at all.

How I Seduce Girls Without Sex Talk

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seduce girls without sex talkSex talk isn’t the only way Alek Rolstad seduces girls. Discover his full repertoire for picking up women without using his famed weapon of mass seduction.

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing great.

I was chatting with Chase the other day, discussing future articles. I share article ideas with Chase (he is better suited to tackle some topics since they are within his field of expertise) and other topics I may have more to say about.

And this is great because I am often unaware of what subjects might be interesting, and others can point out areas to discuss that I might not think of.

Here’s what Chase suggested:

It might be interesting to see “Alek’s game if sex talk doesn't take.” If a girl is highly resistant or immune to sex talk, what do you do? Just bail? Run a different type of game? If sex talk doesn't work with her, does that mean she'll be closed to sex with you, or do you need to run things with her differently?

It’s a fascinating subject because, after all these years, people know me as “the sex talk guy,” and rightfully so. I do not mind being known as this guy.

Clearly, after 15 years in this game (this summer, it will be my tenth year at Girls Chase—I started writing after being active in this field for five years), I know a bit more than sex talk. Sure, I have perfected this technique since I am undoubtedly one of the inventors. I did not invent using sexual frames, though; many great seducers have inspired me. They’ve used techniques that helped me build my methods, so my repertoire is vast.

And, if I were to use sex talk in all my interactions and outings, I would be bored to death with seduction. I use sex talk less these days, to the detriment of my success, since I consider it a weapon of mass seduction, a super powerful tool with a high hit rate. In my eyes, it is still my best weapon. But I refrain from using it more often than not because, after all these years, I am a bit bored of it. I want seduction to feel fresh and exciting. The truth is, there is a lot of great and exciting material out there.

Some material is good, some amazing, and some as powerful as my own “sex talk,” even though it will always give me superior results because I’ve mastered sex talk at its highest level.

I like to focus on different material because, to my surprise, I can use other material in combination with sex talk. Imagine adding some push and pull—showing mixed signals between sex talk gambits! It can help you “set the scene” or create the ideal setting for a smooth sex talk game (isolation, a great hook, a good social frame, and high comfort levels).

Ironically, I have become increasingly curious about material other than my own after all these years. The irony lies that I should have been curious and open-minded during my early days, not now. I would have gained far more from it back then! But I was too obsessed with sexual frames then, and the desire to create my individual style, so that I would shed away tons of great material would have worked better in many settings than my sex talk, for example, in loud clubs.

From the two previous posts discussing my earlier and recent inspirations, you can likely tell I possess a massive repertoire. Sometimes I like to switch back and forth between various methods. Some are better suited for specific settings (loud clubs, small clubs, big clubs) and others for certain dynamics (all interactions are different, and some benefit more from different approaches).

Some nights, I attempted to get girls by using pure Mystery Method, demonstrating social value and following the M3 model. (If you are not familiar with the Mystery Method, familiarize yourself with it!) However, this was more for giggles, but I made it work. For fun, I have tried using the good old-school Speed Seduction style, also for giggles, and I made this work, too.

However, I use certain styles in combination with my typical sex talk style, and I will describe those below.

Tactics Tuesdays: Handling Girls' Female Friends

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girls' female friendsNot every girl you’ll meet is a lone wolf. Many come with female friends alongside them! How do you handle these friends so you still get your girl?

You’ve approached a girl solo, or perhaps with a wingman. Either way, the girl you want has a friend. Perhaps a couple of friends. The friends are girls too.

Should you game them?

Ignore them?

Just be polite with them?

How much should you touch them, talk to them, or potentially flirt with them?

The way you handle girls’ friends has ripple effects on your seduction of the girl herself, not to mention her friends’ willingness (or not) to let you ask her out or pull her.