Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Student of the Game: How to Succeed with Women

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

succed with womenNote from Chase: Colt first got in touch with me almost two months ago to tell me he'd gotten a great deal out of reading the blog and the book here and asked if he might contribute something. My response to this was, "Let's see what you've got, kid!" So he sent along the following article. Here it is, with but a few edits, Colt's first post as a "Student of the Game." Below, please let us know if you've enjoyed hearing from a newer guy who's doing well yet still working out a few of the kinks in his approach toward women and if you'd like to see more from Colt in the future.

When I first started actively approaching women, I had a million voices in my head telling me that I couldn’t succeed with women, that I shouldn’t succeed. How could a regular guy like me be able to charm women like Casanova? If every other man in the world had, at best, mediocre success with girls, why would I do any better? I didn’t want to step out of the norm... I didn’t even know how.

Deep down, every man, I believe, wants to be unique. Every man wants to show women why they should choose him and nobody else. But believing that you can succeed can be a hard roadblock; taking the first step isn’t always easy. If you’ve had difficulty with taking the first step, chances are that’s why you are on this site. And if that’s the case, this post is for you.

How to Use the Sexual Frame to Turn Women On

Ricardus Domino's picture

By: Ricardus Domino

sexual frameMany people believe that it doesn’t matter much what you say to a girl when you chat her up… that 93% of all communication is nonverbal anyway, and that the words are just filler. Thus, any sexual frame you employ should be more focused on your body language and less so on your words… they just aren’t as important, goes the thinking.

This is a misunderstanding of Mehrabian’s study, which showed that somebody’s body language and tone of voice account for 93% of our LIKING for that person… it does not, however, mean that the spoken word only convey 7% of the meaning of any communication.

“Liking” is also largely irrelevant when it comes to seduction – girls will often sleep with and even get into relationship with guys that they don’t particularly like… attraction beats liking, hand over fist, every time.

And if it was true that words only conveyed 7% of what’s being communicated, it should be perfectly possible to watch a movie in a foreign language and still understand 93% of what is being said…

Try that some time. :)

If it was true, it should also be possible to tell a girl to bugger off… and get a 93% similar response as when telling her that she’s pretty.

There is, however, a more subtle reason why words matter… and that reason is frames, and the implications of what is being said.

So what are frames and frame control now?

Well, let’s look at some examples.

Seduce Her Every Time: 2 Simple Things All Great Seducers Know

Ricardus Domino's picture

By: Ricardus Domino

A couple of years ago, there was a huge debate going on in the Dating Advice Community… should you follow a structure when you go out to meet a girl, or should you just improvise to develop your “natural” abilities to seduce her? In a way, this is like a debate between science and art… between the left brain and the right.

And, this debate has actually been settled decades ago, in a different context… watch this clip from time index 1:00.

“It’s a combination of both. Here is the natural instinct, and here is control. You are to combine the two in harmony. If you have one to the extreme, you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become all of a sudden a mechanical man… no longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both… so therefore it’s not pure naturalness or unnaturalness, the idea is unnatural naturalness, or natural unnaturalness.” – Bruce Lee.

So, let’s have a look at both sides of the coin when it comes to seduction and even to learning new skills in general, and let’s find the best way to marry the two concepts of learned structure and intrinsic ability.

Tactics Tuesdays: Staying Unfazed (When Girls Try to Faze You)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

unfazedOnce you've begun working on your abilities to pick up girls for a little while, you'll soon find you run into a flavor of situation again and again that manifests in a variety of forms and a variety of ways: girls acting not as you expected them and you feeling a little surprised, shaken, and fazed.

This post is all about how you can be unfazed, even in the face of the sometimes-disorienting behavior of new women you'll meet while out and about.

Because as you'll come to realize, getting fazed - and remaining unfazed - isn't necessarily about having already been through every situation already. Instead, what it's actually about is a state of mind and freedom from "hoping" for a specific outcome to come about that you can't control.

In addition to that, there are a number of specific, technical steps you can take that will free you from the risk of ending up fazed at some point, because they avoid taking you down the roads that most often lead to guys getting fazed.

And the funny thing is, the more you're able to remain unfazed, the better able you are to bring about the things that can end up seeming out-of-reach to the men who do get fazed.

But, we're getting a bit abstract. Before I say more, first allow me to explain.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 2nd Edition

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

Welcome to the second edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! Today from around the 'Net we're bringing you some of the very best articles on dating, relationships, sex, self-improvement, and more - so put on your reading caps and lets dive in.

We’ve got a pretty good and varied mix of submissions this week – everything ranging from seduction to relationships to some online dating and even a review of a new date-planning service. Read through the links below – and enjoy.

On with the carnival...

Book Excerpts: 11 Things Women Find Attractive in Men

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

attractive in menRounding out this week's posts on what girls look for in men and what they value in men come 11 universal things women find attractive in men.

It's easy once you've been at this for a while to lose sight of explaining to guys how to attract women - like, what actually gets girls going and feeling some desire for a guy? Once you've got it down, it gets automated - and then your focus turns to, "Okay, now what do I do with it?"

It's also a lot faster to teach guys what to do with women they've already got attracted - they just have to throw a few steps and procedures into the mix and *BOOM!* - they're getting results. It's a lot longer of a process for a guy to internalize all the things women find attractive and begin morphing himself into that kind of guy (note: there're a lot more benefits to adopting these traits than simply wooing women - the traits that are about to follow are attractive in men for a good reason... namely, that they're extremely beneficial traits that help you succeed more in all kinds of life's arenas).

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, though. In fact, it's an essential element of getting truly good and consistent in picking up and getting the girls you want - ultimately, the more attractive you make yourself as a man, the more women you'll find want to get to know you better, and the easier your job (whether that's meeting THE girl of your dreams, or meeting a LOT of girls of your dreams) becomes.

Today's excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams lists out 11 things women almost universally find attractive in men, and the descriptions for each of those things.

So, you won't need to guess about what women find attractive - I spell it out for you in my book, and I'm going to share part of that spelling-out with you here.

What Do Girls Look for? They Look for This (Part II)

Ricardus Domino's picture

By: Ricardus Domino

what do girls look forIn the previous article, we answered the question "What do girls look for?" as it relates to picking up girls – how you can become a man of higher value, how you can be perceived as having higher value and how you can leverage supply and demand in several ways to get an almost unfair advantage over other guys.

This week we’ll have a look at the value equation again, but from a different angle… this time, we’ll look at value under the lense of dating and relationships.

Read the other article first (linked to above) if you haven’t yet, just to make yourself familiar with all the fundamentals of what women value in a man, and then come back here and we’ll get started.

Read it already?

I take it you’re back… all right.

Let’s dive right in.

What Do Girls Look for? They Look for This (Part I)

Ricardus Domino's picture

By: Ricardus Domino

what do girls look forIt has often been said that both sexual attraction and romantic love are “value based”… but is that really true and what exactly does that even mean? What do girls look for in a man?

And if it’s true that value and attraction are linked and women are attracted to men based on their value… would it be useful to know what exactly that value constitutes?

Would it help to know how you can increase your value in the dating market place… both in reality and in her perception?

Absolutely. Absolutely it would.

And we're going to go into exactly what it is that women look for in men and value in them, and what you can do to raise yours.

Now, before we get into the meat of how to attract women by being THEIR (the women's) most high-value option, let’s cover some background…

How to Use Social Proof to Get Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

social proofI'm taking a week off from writing a Tactics Tuesdays post to write another post that is, I suspect, long overdue: a post on social proof. It isn't something we talk much about on here, nor one that I think you want to devote an inordinate amount of your time or attention to.

Yet, it is one that, used properly, can be an absolutely incredibly powerful tool for picking up girls and for changing the minds of the ones you already know.

I'll go into some example below of just what social proof is, how you can use it, and why you don't want to miss using this potent and effective tool, both for lifestyle design and for using in your own pick ups on the fly - whether you've got friends around or not.

Onward...

Change Your Mind About Dating

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

think about datingNote from Chase: This is a guest post by Mark Manson, founder of Postmasculine.com. Mark writes on a range of topics, including confidence, self-improvement, dating, and relationships, and has been one of the friends of GirlsChase.com since the site's beginnings.

Take a moment to consider…

…That instead of worrying whether she’ll like you before you approach her, you could instead worry whether after you approach, if you’ll like her?

…That instead of feeling the need to impress her with your job or accomplishments, you could need to be impressed by what she’s done and accomplished for herself?

…That instead of sitting there silent, wondering what to say next to get her to like you, you could sit there silent wondering what she will say to make you like her?

…That instead of waiting around for her to return your call, you could find something to do so she waits for your call?

…That instead of worrying if you’re tall or good-looking enough for her, you could decide whether she’s too superficial to recognize your great qualities? 

…That instead of trying to come up with the perfect date, you could decide that a woman who really likes you doesn’t need a perfect date?