Emotions

As I've involved myself more and more in the world of start up businesses, I'm finding myself increasingly involved in close relationships with dynamic, intelligent people who are accustomed to calling the shots... just like me. Inevitably, this leads to blow ups, power struggles, and all kinds of messy issues, very similar to the fighting in a relationship you see of the romantic variety.

I've been comparing a lot of what I've experienced here to the fighting I've gone through in my own romantic relationships and that I've witnessed in the relationships of friends, students, and others, and I've started teasing out some really interesting correlations.

What I'm realizing is that fighting in a relationship - everything from when women test men to a lot of the underlying rationale behind women and drama - arises out of a handful of required ingredients.

Apologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on relationships as How to Make Girls Chase is for pick up, and I have some truly outside-the-box thinking in it that I've developed through my own personal relationships and through advising a number of friends and clients on their own, and that I haven't seen or heard anywhere else.

Anyway, I wanted to take a break from all the big project stuff and stop by here with a few of the things I've been working on lately. Today's blog post is a monster, at over 5,000 words, on something called "ego depletion." As you get better with some of the more advanced techniques from this blog and from the programs available here, you're going to start experiencing more and more of this, as one of the downsides to efficient and effective pick up.

If you're familiar with a sales tactic called "hard selling," you know that, even when people know what this is, it still works a lot of the time. You also know from this site that the hard sell can be a useful seduction technique - but that it's not without its drawbacks. And the chief among those drawbacks is ego depletion, and the after-the-fact effect it can lead to: buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is, of course, when you make some headway with a girl - she gives you her phone number, kisses you, fools around with you, or sleeps with you - and then she disappears, never to be seen again, or (sometimes) suddenly acts coldly toward you in social situations. Coldness can also be caused by auto-rejection, but there's one important difference:

• Buyer's remorse is what you get when a girl feels like you made her go too far, whereas
• Auto-rejection is what you get when a girl feels like you didn't take her far enough.

Mildly confused? Great. Confusion's the stage that immediately precedes learning something that will prove, hopefully, rather useful.

So let's talk willpower, decisions, buyer's remorse, auto-rejection, and ego depletion - and let's discuss how you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to forming a relationship with a girl you really like.

Note from Chase: this is the final post in our 5-part series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Check out Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV before reading this post, if you haven't already. In this last post in the series, Ricardus discusses how to take everything you've learned in the last four installments... and apply it to cleaning up in seduction.

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By now, you’re starting to get a pretty clear idea of how we can control our own emotions… completely internally, without having to rely on alcohol, “warm-up sets” or having company around.

Two questions remain: What kinds of states should you put yourself into… and how can you transfer these states to other people?

The truth is there are several different states that can work well to meet and attract women… different things work for different people. What’s always going to work best to attract feminine women, however, is the masculine vibe of a sexual man.

Note from Chase: this is Part IV in our series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Be sure to read Part I, Part II, and Part III first before reading this post, if you haven't already.

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Anyway, that's the science side of state control.

Now you may think, well – these are great ideas, but is it really possible to control your state of mind at every moment? After all, we think tens of thousands of thoughts per day.

Actually, you really only need to put yourself into the state you want when you start any activity… whatever state will be the most resourceful one for that specific task.

If you can then get into the activity and get positive feedback from it, the state will reinforce itself. If it does drop, you simply notice the change in your emotional state and repeat the focus exercise… and correct your physiology along with it.

Keep doing it.

Note from Chase: this is Part III of V in our series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Be sure to read How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part I and How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part II first before reading this post, if you haven't already.

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We last discussed how if you want to be able to pick up girls CONSISTENTLY, you've got to have INTERNAL state control... we can't just leave something as important as the way we FEEL to chance.

Since we cannot influence our emotional brain directly and just will ourselves into feeling an emotion, we need to create the emotions we want through the other two parts of our brain… our logical and physical brains will be our detour.

We can control the neocortex by changing our focus… and we can control our reptile brain by controlling our physiology. If we do both, our mammalian brain, i.e. our emotions, will align with the other two.

Note from Chase: this is Part II of V in our series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Be sure to read How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor, Part I first before reading this post, if you haven't already.

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For the longest time, I believed in “game” as the most important factor in picking up girls myself… and I invested a lot of time working mostly on that part of the equation. And I got pretty damn good at it.

The more experiences you make in the real world, however, the more likely you are to run into guys who apparently have no game to speak of, yet have a magic vibe that makes even the most idiotic lines work for them.

And once I came to that realization, I decided to focus all my efforts on decoding this piece of the puzzle. I was going to reverse engineer this X-factor like a mad scientist.

I had some theories; I thought it must have a lot to do with how you FEEL about yourself and your life. Not just state, since state is something temporary… it had to be something much, much deeper than that; and something very subtle.

State is how you feel RIGHT NOW. Whereas this magical vibe seemed to have something to do with how you feel about EVERYTHING. About your life, your status, your wealth, your future and your social connections. How happy you are, and how much you feel like you're in control of your life and in the flow with everything.

That was, however, just a theory… I had to dig deeper.

James Bond.

Somehow he always seems to end up in bed with ALL the beautiful women he meets… no matter if they’re his side kicks or if they work for the bad guys.

Amazing!

I remember a time when I didn’t know how to date multiple women and didn’t think this kind of life would ever be possible for ME… but I still enjoyed living vicariously through Connery, Brosnan and Moore.

If you’re a red-blooded male, you can probably relate – there are certainly worse situations to find yourself in than hooking up with a wide variety of gorgeous women!

Maybe this is the reason why you’re reading this blog, and it’s your dream to live this kind of lifestyle… or maybe you just want to sow your wild oats for a while before settling down with the right girl.

Either way, I’m here to tell you that it is more than Hollywood fiction and very possible.

That doesn’t mean it’s as easy as it looks on the big screen though, there are a couple of hurdles you need to take – and this article will walk you through them.