Pickup Tech

I was sitting on a bar stool the other night talking to a good friend of mine who was venting his frustrations about women and dating. He said to me:

“ J.J., it just seems like everything will go perfectly with a girl, but then, when I do something like try to grab her digits, get her back to my place, or kiss her, she cuts me off at the knees and I lose her, just like that. I don’t know how one little mistake keeps messing up the whole thing!”

I thought about that for a moment… I mean, I really thought about it. What he was talking about were the transitions he was trying to make with girls, and how he was failing at converting those crucial turning points.

In fact, I see this a lot. For good reason too, because any transition point requires a good bit of investment on the girl’s behalf. When you reach a transition point with a woman, not only do you have to execute well, but she also has to be ready for it.

So today, what I want to teach you is not only how to move the goal posts and pull off the most seemingly impossible transitions, but also how to prepare her for these crucial moments and keep her logical mind, and all its doubts and hesitations, at bay while executing them, so that you and a girl you’ve hit it off with can move fluidly to the next stage of your interaction.

In the comments section of the 2013 “Year in Review” article, Nate asks:

“Chase,

This is a bit random, but can you do a post on astrology? Lately i’ve been fascinated by how accurate zodiac signs can be and the possibility of it showing how compatible you are with certain personality types. Obviously there’s gonna be some exceptions, but from what I’ve noticed they are often dead on. It would be interesting to see how well they correlate or if they just create some weird prejudices.

I’ve seen you mention it in a few of your posts and just wanted to see your take on it.

Nate”

Yes – astrology. Something almost everyone has a strong opinion about one way or another; it’s wonderful, or it’s rubbish.

Yet, however you feel about astrology, it is a fascinating little subject in-and-of itself... and it’s one that’s pretty darn fascinating to most of the women you’ll meet, too.

Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.

I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.

That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.

Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.

Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.

At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.

But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.

There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.

I call it “the parting shot.”

You arrive in a new town. Maybe you move into your new place, maybe you start to explore the city’s attractions, maybe you check outsome restaurants.

But wherever you go, you can’t seem to get away from that one dominating thought. No matter what you do, your mind keeps coming back to it: finding attractive, single women.

It can be somewhat intimidating to go out and find single women in a new town, or even an old one. But in reality… it’s really quite easy. And today I’m going to outline exactly where to find these not-so-elusive single women, and how these places can be applied to pretty much any city.

In “Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?”, Troy asks about how to word your requests such that they stand the highest likelihood of success with the lowest likelihood of rejection. He says:

“The right way shows consideration and gives a command at the same time. So in the right way I’d ask you Chase: “ I’d like to see an article on giving commands (and words to use) while showing consideration for the other person to up your chance of getting a YES! I’ve had trouble giving commands to people that give them a way out but also make them more likely to go with my request. Thanks!”

First off, you’ll never get everyone to say “yes” to all your requests, all of the time. If you ask someone to buy you a new car, unless it’s one of your parents or a fairly wealthy and extremely generous lover, you’re probably not going to get a “yes” to that.

However, what I can show you is how to word your requests in such a way that even if the other person does not comply, it’s not really a rejection and stacks up little or no negative compliance against you... and, I can show you how to escalate your compliance requests so that you stand the best possible chance to get a “yes” to whatever you may be asking.

Today I want to talk about two different but related kinds of opening:

• Shotgun opening, and
• Reopening

You'll mostly use these with women in social nighttime venues (bars and clubs, parties, networking events), but they're practical by day as well, in the right places (charity events or rallies, beach parties, barbecues and cookouts).

Shotgun opening coupled with reopening is an effective one-two punch for talking to lots of girls while not getting overly bogged down in go-nowhere conversations with women who are only interested in you socially, rather than romantically. This is how you work the crowd and build a foundation in social events that you build on later into the evening.

Done right, you'll frequently find yourself with a bunch of women who already know you and are comfortable with you and who may even be actively chasing you later into the night, when their walls are up to other men just beginning to approach them fueled by liquid courage (that is, alcohol), who will be standing around wondering how you're getting such warm receptions with all these gals while they face one cold shoulder after another.

Shotgun opening + reopening is how.

Marty, a GC member, commented on my post on “The 7 Key Qualities in Men Woman Want”:

“Hello Colt,

This is a great reminder, and very useful checklist, of seven important aspects of being a better man in general, as well as more attractive to women! Thank you.

I'd be the last person to wish to offer constructive feedback, but I wondered if you could go into a little more detail on #4? Unlike for the other six qualities, there are no cross-referencing links to articles, and your use of the phrase "get it" borders on glibness—who knows what informative treasures might lurk between those two short words? ☺

A brief description of the "subtext" you speak about would be immensely helpful!

Thanks again,

Marty”

This is a really important comment. This subtext that Marty references is extremely important for success with women, and unfortunately, it’s something that not a lot of guys get right. They pay too much attention to their surface level actions and not what’s occurring below the surface.

Imagine: you see a cute girl across the room who is definitely eyeing you. She’s smiling, she’s looking over and she’s just waiting for you to come over and enter her world. So you walk over with that perfect line simmering in your head and you deliver it.

And it flops. She gives you a look of disappointment and turns away, or she mentions how she has to go find her friend and runs off.

Losing a girl because you said or did the wrong thing at any point in an interaction can be such a frustrating and dumbfounding feeling. So today I’m going to talk about how to prevent yourself from saying and doing the things that lose you girls and how to really pay attention to subtext, which is what girls are really paying attention to.

What I’m going to lay out may surprise you a bit, but I promise it’ll be worth it.