A girl wants to date or maybe for you to commit. But you dawdle and don’t make it happen. So she gives up – but then, you give chase! Why? The Dap Trap!There’s a flip-floppy male behavior you’ll see in dating that is so predictable it borders on the comical: something I’ve dubbed ‘dap’, for “dawdle, about-face, pursue.”
You’re talking to a girl and she says “I’m boring” or “I don’t date.” That’s the kiss of death, right? Well, not so long as you can get her to PROVE IT!When you talk to a girl and she starts throwing out claims about herself, these can seem like real obstacles if they don’t cooperate with the overall seduction.
Anti-seductive claims include women saying things like:
… and so on. Running into these can feel like a conversation death sentence if you don’t have a good response to reframe with.
After all, what hope is there really for a boring girl… a girl who doesn’t like excitement… a girl who doesn’t think about sex or go out on dates? None, right?
Au contraire, for in this article I’ll give you a simple little tactic you can use to turn these claims women make right on their head.
With this in-hand, instead of looking at women’s anti-seductive claims as if they are agile seduction killers, you will start to view women’s claims as clumsy fumbles that have led them right into your web.
Sexiness is the quality of being carnally desirable. Yet it seems so abstract: why are some people sexy while many aren’t? It all boils down to 3 items: intent, confidence, & appeal.Earlier this year in my article on insider vs. outsider seduction frames, reader JimmyS asked about the crux of sexiness:
Hey Chase,
Want way more results from your seductions? Tap into elite training with veteran coach Alek Rolstad – and “fine-tune” your way off the Playboy Plateau that captures so many seducers.It’s autumn, and that means it’s time to open up a few new seats for advanced seduction coaching with Girls Chase veteran coach Alek Rolstad.
Pickup lines, flirtatious comebacks, and witty one-liners: all the stuff of good teasing and flirtation. Use these 50 one-liners as a springboard for your own flirtations.Compendium of pickup lines and other flirtatious one-liners for use in 2022 and beyond.
Three new GirlsChase.TV videos are out. Are you ready to upgrade your attractiveness with amazing posture, electric eye contact, and expressive facial expressions?Have you been keeping an eye on GirlsChase.TV?
I’ve added three new videos over the past couple weeks that go deep into three powerful fundamentals:
These are Lessons 4-6 of my ongoing video series Fantastic Fundamentals. In them, I go a lot deeper into each attractive quality than I’ve ever gone before.
For the average man, dating is fraught with emotion. Rejection stings, and success elates. Yet what of the veteran dater? For him, it’s far more depersonalized.One of the great differences between an experienced seducer and an ordinary man is what we might call the “depersonalization” of seduction.
For Joe Average, each encounter with an attractive woman is a deeply personal affair. He experiences a range of powerful positive and negative emotions whenever a woman he desires (and often even one he doesn’t) seems to approve of or reject him.
Happy interactions with women sending him over the moon, beaming with hope, pride, and victory; rejections, on the other hand, crumple him, turning him sour, beaten, resentful.
Yet for the experienced seducer, women’s reactions to him are not personal. The experience he creates for women feels more personal for the women than what they experience with Joe Average, by far… Nevertheless for the seducer himself, the seduction is merely a process he’s run many times before. The outcome of any individual interaction carries little emotional weight for him – often none at all.
It’s not that his emotions have “vanished”; rather, it is that they have moved… Instead of being affected by the slings and arrows of courtship that elevate or sink more ordinary men, the seducer’s emotions are focused somewhere else. The seduction process itself for him has become depersonalized.
This depersonalization offers enormous benefits to the experienced seducer… not the least of which are far higher success rates with women (due to him being able to act unclouded by emotion), plus far lower rates of the heartache, bitterness, and disappointment ordinary men so often experience in their dealings with women.
Depersonalizing seduction is thus a very worthwhile aim for novice and intermediate seducers. But can you do that, any way other than just putting in enough approaches to get there?
The ball-in-her-court text can be very effective at getting flaky girls onto dates. It’s also easy to misuse, however… and even sabotage your attractiveness with.Recently on the forum we had a relatively new member claiming the ball-in-her-court text “doesn’t work” for him, and that women can “see through it” and it harms the man’s frame.
In case you’re unfamiliar with the ball-in-her-court text (which I’ll refer to as the BIHC text from here on out, to save me writing “ball-in-her-court text” fifty times), it’s this:
A text you send a woman after you have tried to get her out on dates repeatedly and repeatedly had her decline or flake on them. The text tells her (in an eloquent way) that you will chase her no more; it also says, however, that if she decides she’d like to get serious about going out sometime, to send you a message. After that, you simply forget all about her and do not contact her again ever unless/until you hear again from her.
As soon as I saw a guy saying women could “see through” the text I knew he must be using it wrong. There is no “seeing through it” to do (if used properly): you are explicitly telling a woman exactly what the situation is and exactly what to do!
It’s what makes the text so effective… in my experience it gets around a 50% text-back rate 2-8 weeks after you send it… I have heard from many of the other guys in our community who’ve used it their reply-back rate is similar.
Yet, newer guys often struggle with this message and, like that newer member on the forum, report that women simply vanish after they BIHC text them and do not return.
So let’s talk about the “who” and “when” of BIHC texting – because it’s clearly not for everyone, in every situation.
Lovers have it better when it comes to getting together with them fast. But what about in long-term relationships? In fact, lovers have some major advantages here as well.Let us continue our exploration of the lover’s advantages over the provider in the mating game.
We’ll switch our focus today… from yesterday’s focus on picking women up to today’s: maintaining healthy long-term relationships with them.
I had a conversation the other day with a friend.
We talked about how he believed things had changed with women over the past 10 years. He believed women had become so overstimulated as to make long-term relationships unviable.
I said that wasn’t what I’d seen at all. If anything, women are having less sex now, with fewer partners… and men in general have degraded in their social skills and romantic prowess.
It was a bigger challenge trying to hold onto a woman 10 years ago than it is today.
My friend rose the point of, “What about when she’s fertile?”
There is, after all, well known research showing that fertile women seek out men other than those they’re mated to to mate with. That still is a risk… right?
But in fact, this is a major lovers vs. providers difference… and it’s one that might be surprising to any guy who hasn’t had long-term relationships as “the lover.”
Lovers are skilled in the game of love. But do they ALWAYS win? If not… then is being the lover still really the best path to succeeding with girls?In a recent article of mine, I mentioned scenarios where the lover may not get the girl.
Instead, she might spurn the lover, finding him unattainable despite whatever attractive qualities he may have, and instead pair up with a much safer man, better known to her and better trusted, albeit less exciting.
This triggered some confusion in a reader, who asked whether the lover didn’t always get the girl, and whether it was actually better to be the lover.
In case you’re new, a few quick definitions are in order:
‘Lover’, in our parlance, refers to the sexually desirable mate choice with uncertain future prospects. The sexy, flirtatious bad boy who seems quite attractive but also seems like he’s not exactly boyfriend material being a prime example of such a man. When she’s not interested in such men, a woman won’t usually try to friend zone them (since she won’t be able to); instead, she’ll just reject them
‘Provider’, in our parlance, is a man who courts her by going the ‘safe route’: he advertises his dependability, reliability, and consistency; his motto might well be “You can count on me.” He isn’t sexy, the way the dangerous, inconstant bad boy is… but for a girl in need of a safe, stable place to take shelter, he may be just the refuge she seeks. The rest of the time, however, the friend zone will tend to be his home
Anyway, the short answer to our commenter is that no, the lover does not always win the game of love. Sometimes the nice guy provider who’s hung so reliably by her side, and courted her with such ongoing dedication, finally does get the girl… leaving any lovers who may have pursued her out in the cold.
Yet, the lover angle is still the savvier angle to pursue for any man who possesses the energy to pursue it, for numerous key reasons – reasons any man who’s serious about romantic success does well to understand.
