Pickup

As we all know, you don't get a second chance to make a good first impression. And this is more than just a cliché... this is HUGE!

I'll say it again: You just DON'T get a second chance!

Studies in the field of sales have confirmed the old adage. As it turns out, 80% of our perception of a person is formed in the first 3 minutes. But what’s more: 80% of THAT takes place in the first few SECONDS!

Do I have your attention?

Good.

So, what is the ideal first impression a girl should have of you?

If you don't know the answer to this question, you might be practicing the WRONG things… which means that all the hard sweat, blood and tears you invest might actually make your first impression LESS favorable.

What do you think? Should you be

• Friendly or Macho?
• Tough or Charming?
• Dominant or Likeable?

What kind of first impression will make her feel ATTRACTED to you?

Let’s take a closer look. Your first impression comes down to three things:

• The way you look
• What you say to a girl
• THE WAY YOU COME ACROSS!

And number three is the biggie.

Dominance is a touchy topic. It's positively loaded with cultural baggage - in the West, we're averse to both the idea of being dominant over others and of others being dominant over us. It has all kinds of ill-favored connotations that most would rather just avoid. I'm throwing all of that out today though and talking to you about how to be a dominant man, political correctness and sensitivity aside - and I'm going to teach you a lot of things you didn't know about dominance before today.

In the post on how to be an alpha male (without becoming a stereotype), we broke down the difference between what's generally thought of as "alpha" and what alpha actually is, and about the character of the nomad -- the man who's neither alpha, nor beta, nor any other role in a social hierarchy, but instead operates outside it entirely.

I've long noticed a failure to differentiate among "being alpha" and "being dominant" in those who discuss social dynamics. They're treated as one and the same -- if you're being alpha, you're dominant, and if you're being dominant, you're alpha.

But they aren't the same. Being alpha's about heading up your group.

Meanwhile, being dominant... that's about something else altogether. What that is -- that and the winner effect -- is what this article is all about.

A week and a half ago I was out at a nightclub with a pair of friends. One of my friends was from here in town; the other was visiting from the other side of the world. As is usually my priority when out with friends, I wanted to do anything I could to make sure both of them had as good a time as possible, and for me that meant doing what I could to try and get both of them pulling women.

Both guys are cool, likeable guys, and both do all right with women in their own rights already, so my contribution to their efforts was more in the edge cases -- making things happen when they might otherwise not. As it was, I coordinated aiding one of my friends in pulling his girl home fast, in the cold, even as she left her coat and phone behind and complained about needing to go talk to her friends, and set my other friend up as best I could to pull a girl I'd introduced him to who clearly wanted him to take her home very much while I managed the pull of my other friend visiting from out of town.

There were a number of moments during the pull when my one pal's girl was ready to peel off, and only by unflinchingly leading things forward was I able to maintain control of the situation and ensure she came with us.

How do you succeed at pulling women home in situations where most men fail?

Simple: you progressively move things forward.

The way you do that is the subject of this post, and executing correctly is going to be key to you getting regular, routine success picking up cute new girls.

It has been said that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death… Seinfeld’s little twist on this idea is that at a funeral, people would rather be lying in the coffin than giving the eulogy.

I believe there is something that we fear even more than public speaking: approaching beautiful women. And this fear gets multiplied when we’re going out alone, without our buddies and “wingmen” around.

I remember the first time I went out ALONE to meet girls. Just the thought of it made me nervous, but I had been told that it’s a great exercise to build confidence and social skills.

Right after I left the house I realized I was hungry… and got something to eat. But while I was still waiting for my food, I became aware that this was nothing but creative avoidance – I was giving myself reasons to put off the dreaded exercise until the last possible moment!

And once I had left the restaurant, I started REALLY getting nervous… and psyching myself out. After half an hour of this, I couldn’t even have asked a girl what time it was… leave alone flirt with one!

Thank God I’ve long since overcome this hurdle, but the question is…

Aaron Sleazy is the author of Sleazy Stories: Confessions of an Infamous Modern Seducer of Women, chronicling his memoirs as a seducer, and Debunking the Seduction Community, a critical analysis of the commercial pick up and seduction industry. His newly released how-to book, Minimal Game: The No-Nonsense Guide to Getting Girls, gives a brief, insightful look into his barebones efficient-as-possible style at getting girls fast with little time or talk.

In this guest post, he discusses an issue a lot of guys run into, especially when looking for a girl they might want as a girlfriend. Every guy wants to know get to know a girl before committing to anything, and here Aaron takes the process a step further -- he discusses why if you really want to get intimate with a girl on an emotional level, you need to take her as your lover first.

A few days ago, a very perceptive reader wrote in to share with me an insight he'd had after reading over the blog here again and reading the appendices at the end of my seduction ebook. It was, he said, a profound realization about how to talk to girls that he'd seen me using and others using, and it was something that, when he told me about it, I immediately realized was something I'd once known consciously but had long slipped into the forgotten parts of my memory that were accessed only intuitively and subconsciously in conversation, without ever realizing it.

That reader called it "taking off the mask." Here's the relevant part of his email:

“ Over the past few weeks I've been noticing something about your posts and really every other seducer/PUA. I've noticed that the ones that really know how to handle women all demonstrate one quality.

They see through the BS!

I've been reading through some of your posts and the Girls Chase appendices and when you talk to women you go straight to her "real" self. The "real" self the girl in her that's still romantic, the girl who wants all her sexual fantasies to come true. You don't ever allow women to put on that mask around you, you make sure she can let her hair down and just be herself.”

In a flash, I remembered it being 2006, and me for the first time approaching hordes and hordes of women. It was such a confusing time; women would say things -- crazy things, unexpected things -- and I didn't know how to react.

What do you say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend?

What do you do when she's acting flighty and disinterested?

How do you keep her engaged in a loud nightclub filled with distractions, or on a busy street when there's somewhere she very much has to be?

I remembered how confusing talking to women used to be. And I realized that the way I go about talking to women and interacting with them these days isn't just better -- it's different. It's categorically, unequivocally, incontrovertibly different from how I used to talk to women.

I'm coming from a different place, and my thoughts are on much different matters. And if I can help get you there -- or at least illuminate the path -- I think I can rapidly speed up the process you learn by.

There I was, 7th grade, sitting oh-so-close to one of the prettiest girls in school. She had long, wavy blonde hair, and for the life of me I couldn't stop staring at her legs. I wanted nothing other than her.

That was my math class, every single day, 5 days a week. And I knew that it was on me to figure out how to get her every bit as excited about me as I was about her. I had to figure out how to get a girl's attention.

And so I did. In "How to Attract Women," I spoke some about how I learned to attract women later in life. What I want to talk about in this post, though, was how I learned to get women's attention; how I learned to make women take note of me, start keeping track of me, and begin to become intrigued. Because it was those early lessons in middle school, as well as the ones that were to come years later, that allowed me to today find it quite easy to get girls noticing me seemingly (from their points of view) before I've noticed them, and it's an important element of getting them to chase.

If you can learn how to get a girl's attention, you can learn how to captivate her. And once you've mastered those two things... let's just say everything else is a snap.