Phone / Text / Email | Girls Chase

Phone / Text / Email

Tips and tactics on being successful with women using the mediums of telephone, email, and text-messaging.

Tactics Tuesdays: Who Should Use a BIHC Text?

Chase Amante's picture
bihc textThe ball-in-her-court text can be very effective at getting flaky girls onto dates. It’s also easy to misuse, however… and even sabotage your attractiveness with.

Recently on the forum we had a relatively new member claiming the ball-in-her-court text “doesn’t work” for him, and that women can “see through it” and it harms the man’s frame.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the ball-in-her-court text (which I’ll refer to as the BIHC text from here on out, to save me writing “ball-in-her-court text” fifty times), it’s this:

A text you send a woman after you have tried to get her out on dates repeatedly and repeatedly had her decline or flake on them. The text tells her (in an eloquent way) that you will chase her no more; it also says, however, that if she decides she’d like to get serious about going out sometime, to send you a message. After that, you simply forget all about her and do not contact her again ever unless/until you hear again from her.

As soon as I saw a guy saying women could “see through” the text I knew he must be using it wrong. There is no “seeing through it” to do (if used properly): you are explicitly telling a woman exactly what the situation is and exactly what to do!

It’s what makes the text so effective… in my experience it gets around a 50% text-back rate 2-8 weeks after you send it… I have heard from many of the other guys in our community who’ve used it their reply-back rate is similar.

Yet, newer guys often struggle with this message and, like that newer member on the forum, report that women simply vanish after they BIHC text them and do not return.

So let’s talk about the “who” and “when” of BIHC texting – because it’s clearly not for everyone, in every situation.

Tactics Tuesdays: Fielding Women's Counteroffers

Chase Amante's picture
woman standing with hand on hip thinkingWhen you propose a date or anything else, a woman may counteroffer her own suggestion. Should you take it? Or stick to your guns? This 4-part decision tree shows you what to do.

Responding to my article on guys not needing much money to get girls, reader Newyorkboy asks about women having 'resistance to doing' cheap or costless dates.

As an example, he cites this incident posted on by a user named 'powersize':

Texted a latina girl in IG, after a short convo proposed to meet. She is 7/8 - not a dime for me. Below is our conversation:

Me: Are you free tonight?
Her: Maybe. Where would you like to take me?
Me: There is one hipster pub close to center
Her: I can’t drink alcohol. I prefer somewhere more relax.
Me: Coffee?
Her: No. A restaurant where we don’t have that much noise
Me: I do not go on dinners on the first date
Her: I do. That’s what gentleman should do At least that’s what I am getting used to.
Me: So you define if the guy is a gentleman if he brings to you to a fancy place?
Her: Who says it has to be fancy. I define a gentleman a man who takes his time to take me somewhere. A coffee is something I can do anytime
Me: Too bad. Cause I love coffee meeting that people can do anytime
Her: Enjoy your coffee then

I do consider her as a typical chick who is looking for guy. So no reply from my side.

What do you think?

In light of the abysmal text game on evidence here and the fact that this fellow is messaging girls in Instagram, the girl's reaction is pretty standard. Generous, even, I'd say.

Most of the time when you fail at game, you get a rejection. But sometimes when you fail at game, girls will still offer you a shot as a provider.

That's what happened here.

Of course, if you're going to be a provider, you have to provide. You cannot start talking about your rules of never doing dinner dates or talking up the glory of cheap dates once she's slotted you into the provider role.

So not only did this cat fail at game, he could not fulfill the provider role either -- and he at last received the inevitable rejection.

How could he have done things differently and achieved a different result?

One part of the answer lies in how he deals with fielding women's counteroffers.

Why Girls Suddenly 'Pop Back Up' Again

Chase Amante's picture
girls pop back upShe quit responding to your texts, but then, months later, there she is, messaging you to meet up. What happened, and why did she reappear?

Remember that girl you were texting a couple months ago, who kept dodging your date requests, then eventually ghosted you completely?

Well, she just texted you again, and now it seems like she wants to meet.

What the heck happened?

Should you accept her invitation after that, well, period of darkness she put you through?

There's a simple explanation for why women go through these 'dark periods', and once you understand it, you probably won't take them too personally.

That explanation is this:

She started seeing some other guy, and dropped off the map.

However, she has now stopped seeing him, and she's back on the map again.

How to Compete with the Other Guys Texting Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
men on her phoneAs more and more men crowd into women’s profiles and messages, how do you get a girl’s attention on the phone? By declining to compete the ordinary ways.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Earlier this year, I discussed how neo-direct game makes everything much harder. It can trigger premature rejections as women display high standards from being in a position of power, which you put them in by showing too much interest too early.

Because of the surge of neo-direct game, many men who experiment with cold approach pickup would face harsh rejections and find women acting testy and displaying insanely high standards (because men put them in a position where they do so).

To add to the frustration, the popularization of online dating apps such as Tinder have a bad male-to-female ratio (over 70% of men). Plus, women often use Tinder to promote their Instagram. It is discouraging to be ignored constantly and not receive likes and not have girls respond to your messages.

So men feel that women have high standards:

  • Men don’t get results and are ignored on Tinder

  • Men get rejected prematurely in real life from using the wrong approach

  • Women are in a powerful position to do so due to the frame men set

But there is another dimension I would like to discuss here.

Let’s say, after plenty of harsh rejections in real life, that a guy finally gets a decent hook out of luck.

Now that is awesome! I am happy for him.

He takes her number. He texts her. No response. Or maybe she responds, but now she doesn’t seem nearly as interested. And maybe when the time comes, she flakes.

We have seen an epidemic of flakes lately. There’s a reason why texting products are in high demand. It’s extremely frustrating not to get a response from a girl you thought you had a good shot with, but when she flakes, it is devastating.

This is the subject I want to discuss today. I will not cover the basics for why women may flake, which could be summarized as:

  • Her mood may change when you are not around. She was stimulated when you met her, but tomorrow is a different day, and she’s in a different mood.

  • As time has passed, she may have forgotten how you made her feel. Her compliance lowers.

  • Because of the limitations of texting (she can’t hear your voice, see your face, and vice versa) and you are not communicating in real-time, you cannot calibrate on the spot.

So she may flake.

But something has changed over the years. Back in the day, a solid interaction and some good texting would have a higher chance of leading to a meet-up than today. Of course, flakes always occur. That’s just the way things are. But things have gotten worse.

Why is that? And what can we do about it?

How to Deal with Women Who Flake (and How to Prevent It)

Guest Contributor's picture
woman snow flakeWomen flake for various reasons – not all of them having to do with you. However, there are steps you can take to avoid flaking… plus others you can use when flakes occur.

One of the least fun experiences in game is when a woman flakes on your date. You have amped yourself up and carefully planned for the date, especially if your goal was to have sex on the first date.

And yet flakes are unavoidable when you date multiple women. Whether you are learning how to use Tinder to meet women or practicing cold approach in day or night game, you will inevitably have a portion of your girls flake.

The problem is that guys often make mistakes when women flake on the date. These errors generally fall into two categories: First, they set up the date suboptimally, leaving the woman with concerns or other reasons to flake. Second, they do not react well when a girl flakes, ruining their chances of seeing her again.

Let’s break down the common causes of flaking, discuss how to minimize flaking, and explain what to do when a woman flakes.

Texting 101: Do Manipulative Texting Tactics Work?

Chase Amante's picture
manipulative texting tacticsIf a girl’s not responding over text, should you resort to “texting dirty”? While dirty texting tactics can work, there’s a better, non-dirty way to get a response than these.

A reader emailed in recently to ask my opinion on several texting tactics he'd come across. One was from a texting course called "The Scrambler", while the other is from a negotiation book that uses a tactic to force a "no."

Seduction advice often gets a bad rap as 'manipulation', even though most of it's not. I've talked about this several times over the years, including in "Is Seduction Wrong?" (also in "Do Bad Evil Seducer Men Corrupt Innocent Women?").

However, there's a kernel of truth in every stereotype, and the reason seduction so often gets classed as manipulation is because there are men out there who use dirty manipulation tactics.

They use these tactics because they CAN work... but there's a "but."

The "but" is that they don't work as well as superior non-manipulative tactics, and that even when they do work they tend to trigger resentment toward you.

Both the tactics our reader stumbled upon were tactics I consider negatively manipulative. I'll introduce you to them, talk about why they're negative, and discuss some alternatives in this piece.

Ghosting, Part 3: How to Raise the Dead

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ghostingCan you turn around a ghost, and get dates or a relationship from your ghost? Oftentimes, yes, you can. How? With these five (5) “ghosting turnaround” strategies.

In Part 1 of this series, we looked at some interesting statistics on ghosting that came courtesy a survey we ran on American men and women.

In Part 2 of the series, we looked at the reasons why people ghost on people, and what you can do to avoid getting ghosted on.

In our third and final installment, I'm going to cover your options to resurrect a ghost... and 'raise from the dead', so to speak, those contacts lying cold as clay in your phone.

This will include five (5) distinct ghost-busting strategies:

  1. Fun, High Value Invites
  2. Resurrection Texts
  3. Audio/Video Messages
  4. Passing Hints Along
  5. Running Into Your Ghost

Let's begin.

Ghosting, Part 2: Why People Ghost... and How Not To Get Ghosted On

Chase Amante's picture
ghosting reasonsWhy do people ghost? Sometimes it’s because of them… but sometimes it’s because of you. We look at the whys, plus what you can do to avoid getting ghosted.

Last time, we looked at the statistics of who ghosts on whom.

Ghosting, Part 1: Who Gets Ghosted the Most (Guys or Girls)?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ghostingWho gets ghosted on more, men or women? This ghosting study teased out the details of who ghosts on whom between American men and women in 2021.

Girls Chase ran a survey to find out who gets ghosted the most: men or women?

We looked at all ages and both sexes across the United States. And we also asked: how often do people turn their ghosts around -- and what's the outcome when they do?

This article presents the results from the poll... plus some tips on what you can do to reduce the odds you get ghosted (and turn things around if you do).

7 Key Steps to Achieving Online Dating Success

Guest Contributor's picture
man texting next to womanWhat's it take to succeed at online dating? A simple opener. Concise messages. Movement toward the date. Plus 4 other crucial steps.

Hey guys, welcome back!

In this follow-up to my original article, I’ll discuss how to make online game work for you.


  • You’re practicing cold approach but can’t figure out how to fit online game into meeting women

  • You’ve tried online but didn’t achieve much success

this article is for you.