Pickup Tech

Apologies if you haven't seen me on here much recently. I'm working on a few new things that should help you take your game to the next level; the first one due out is a book on relationships that I'm really thrilled with the development on. I'm aiming for it to be as complete a book on relationships as How to Make Girls Chase is for pick up, and I have some truly outside-the-box thinking in it that I've developed through my own personal relationships and through advising a number of friends and clients on their own, and that I haven't seen or heard anywhere else.

Anyway, I wanted to take a break from all the big project stuff and stop by here with a few of the things I've been working on lately. Today's blog post is a monster, at over 5,000 words, on something called "ego depletion." As you get better with some of the more advanced techniques from this blog and from the programs available here, you're going to start experiencing more and more of this, as one of the downsides to efficient and effective pick up.

If you're familiar with a sales tactic called "hard selling," you know that, even when people know what this is, it still works a lot of the time. You also know from this site that the hard sell can be a useful seduction technique - but that it's not without its drawbacks. And the chief among those drawbacks is ego depletion, and the after-the-fact effect it can lead to: buyer's remorse.

Buyer's remorse is, of course, when you make some headway with a girl - she gives you her phone number, kisses you, fools around with you, or sleeps with you - and then she disappears, never to be seen again, or (sometimes) suddenly acts coldly toward you in social situations. Coldness can also be caused by auto-rejection, but there's one important difference:

• Buyer's remorse is what you get when a girl feels like you made her go too far, whereas
• Auto-rejection is what you get when a girl feels like you didn't take her far enough.

Mildly confused? Great. Confusion's the stage that immediately precedes learning something that will prove, hopefully, rather useful.

So let's talk willpower, decisions, buyer's remorse, auto-rejection, and ego depletion - and let's discuss how you can avoid shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to forming a relationship with a girl you really like.

If you've read the post on auto-rejection, then you know a big problem facing most guys in the Western world isn't that they come on too strong... but that they don't come on strong enough, and women end up assuming they just aren't all that into them... which leads women to then auto-reject, close up, and go cold to protect their own emotions. And if that's happening to you, that's probably because you're like most guys in the West these days, and you don't yet have too firm a grasp on how to let a girl know you like her.

What is it, exactly, with this plague of tentative men these days? It seems like the average guy nowadays is so afraid of rejection that he isn't willing to stick his neck out at all - or else he goes into things with the "just friends" angle, then get surprised and upset when they end up in the friend zone.

No - as you get to know a girl, it's important that you also know how to let a girl know you like her - and that you go about doing exactly that.

Many guys think that all women want a man who knows how to make a girl laugh… and that is not entirely false.

However, the importance of cracking jokes and making girls laugh when picking up on them is FAR overstated… and in fact, trying to do this can actually HURT you and make you LESS sexually attractive to women.

How can this be, though? So many women will tell you that a sense of humor is one of the most attractive traits a man can possess! On the surface, it doesn’t seem to make sense at ALL.

As so often is the case, however, the truth about what’s REALLY going on in the human mating game is not obvious; it’s counter-intuitive and hidden deep beneath the surface.

The good news: this means that you can drop most of what you used to do in an attempt to be funny on the approach. You can let it all go overnight and never worry about it again, once you understand the following truth:

Getting strong emotional reactions out of girls on the approach, making them all giggly and going out of your way to make a girl laugh, means nothing at all.

I’m sure you’re probably scratching your head right about now…

Stay with me, and let’s shed some light on this topic.

If you've been reading material on doing better with women for any length, you're probably very familiar with the need to screen women. For men starting out in improving their dating lives, this can be one of the strangest new elements to add - you're so used to trying to pass women's screens... and now you are going to screen them, instead?

For guys who've been around the block a few times, this isn't anything new, although you might still find yourself causing women to go into auto-rejection by screening too hard or on things the women you're talking to aren't able to pass your tests on.

Either way - whether you're a new guy who's just getting around to outfitting his screening arsenal, or you're a seasoned guy who'd like to find a few new ways to screen women you meet - this list of things to screen women on from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams is designed to help you come up with a host of different (and interesting) subjects to explore... and screen... the women you meet on.

If you're keeping up on the latest in game openers, you're probably familiar with the now-canon advice to pay women a compliment when you approach them during the daytime… and, that actually works pretty well, sometimes.

I’ve met and hooked up with a lot of beautiful girls that way … a sincere compliment during the daytime is often unexpected, and women admire the courage it takes to pull it off.

Especially on a dead cold approach of a girl you’ve never met before – she will often be jealous. She might WISH she had that kind of courage, to be open enough to just meet strangers like that.

That said, there are a few serious disadvantages to this approach, which is why I’ve stopped doing it almost altogether.

Note from Chase: this is the final post in our 5-part series on How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor. Check out Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV before reading this post, if you haven't already. In this last post in the series, Ricardus discusses how to take everything you've learned in the last four installments... and apply it to cleaning up in seduction.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

By now, you’re starting to get a pretty clear idea of how we can control our own emotions… completely internally, without having to rely on alcohol, “warm-up sets” or having company around.

Two questions remain: What kinds of states should you put yourself into… and how can you transfer these states to other people?

The truth is there are several different states that can work well to meet and attract women… different things work for different people. What’s always going to work best to attract feminine women, however, is the masculine vibe of a sexual man.

Something that every nice guy has painfully experienced - one way or the other - is that when you don't challenge women, you also don't attract women. Challenge is a necessary, integral part of building and maintaining respect and desire for you in women.

But what is challenge? It's easy to understand why most guys get this wrong. It's hard to pin the concept of "being a challenge to women" down when you're not sure where the line is. What if you challenge her too much and lose her? And while this does happen - it's called auto-rejection, and it happens more than most men realize - if you're hitting women's no-challenge flags too often, you need to get that one fixed first before you start worrying too much about whether you're going too far.

Can't fix the problem of going too far if you usually don't go far enough in the first place... right?

You need to train yourself, if you don't do it already, to challenge girls.