Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Why Cold Approach Isn't for Social Beginners

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By: Chase Amante

cold approach beginnersCold approaching women you don’t know is hard. If you lack the required social skills and mentality to make it work, you’ll burn out of it quick.

On the forum, we have a thread where a member posted to ask “what happens to guys who just don’t get results with women?”

At first I thought he was one of those guys with thousands of approaches under his belt who was struggling to even get dates or lovers at all. We see guys like that sometimes. Usually they have some kind of social handicap, such as being somewhere on the autism spectrum.

But it turned out this member had a different problem: he’d made very, very few approaches to women. He said he’d only chatted up somewhere between “20-30 lifetime approaches”, and that after “getting blown out all day” he ended up “coming home in tears.” He hasn’t made a cold approach in three years.

If you’re new to cold approach world, 20-30 approaches is nothing. Every major contributor to Girls Chase has thousands of approaches under his belt… many of us have somewhere between 5,000 to 15,000 approaches. Alek Rolstad is famous for a 5-to-1 meet-to-lay ratio (i.e., sleeping with 1 out of every 5 girls you approach) under certain conditions. But that is only once you’re advanced, and only under proper conditions (i.e., high momentum).

Every guy goes through much worse ratios than that when starting out: 30-to-1, 50-to-1, 100-to-1, 200-to-1 or even worse… it depends where you’re starting out at and what’s already good vs. what needs patching up.

This forum member’s experiences took me back to my start in cold approach… one in many ways similar to his. And I think it’s worth making the point that if you’re a pure social beginner, cold approach is probably not where you should be starting out.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Be Pushy with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

don't be pushy with girlsIt’s good to want to move things forward with girls. But if the way you do it is pushy, you will scare girls off. Here’s how to move ahead sans pushiness.

A while ago I saw a thread on Reddit and saved it for a future tactics article.

In it, a guy talks about having 50-100 women he’s met and tried to text out onto dates, but failed, saying girls ghost him every single time. He says it’s always the same scenario… he tries not to be pushy, saying this:

I really tried not to be pushy/move too quickly, but usually, in my experience, it is best to follow up quickly and set up a get-together quickly rather than waiting a week and being completely forgotten.

When someone says, “I really try not to X, BUT,” 99.9991896% of the time the problem he is having is X (whatever X may be).

When I opened this guy’s example text conversation up – yep, the problem is just as suspected; he is being pushy with girls.

Today’s article will be about how to not be that, so you can recognize if you are, and knock off doing it (so you quit scaring women away with pushiness).

Why Does Stuff Work on Girls that Girls Swear Wouldn't?

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By: Chase Amante

girls say wouldn't workGirls’ll tell you things “don’t work” on them… that actually work all the time! Why though? Because of the clash between their ‘real self’ and ‘ideal self’.

We’re hiring for a female spokeswoman for some online ads we want to run.

Turns out it’s way harder than picking up girls! I’ve talked to probably 100 women off of modeling sites, freelancing sites, and even adult jobs hiring sites. They either aren’t interested at all (including women who claim to be desperate for money in their profiles; even including women who are happy to do hardcore pornography, but don’t want to be in a dating advice commercial!), or they say they are but flake off after a message or two.

It's not like we aren’t offering enough, either; the girls who reply are pretty excited about the pay, and it’s higher than what those who are public about it are getting for the other work they do. I have even told them, “Hey, if it’s not high enough, let me know what would do it for you and I’ll let you know if it’s doable for us.” Still nothing; they still all flake or ghost regardless.

It's so hard it’s to the point now where I’ve decided that rather than treat it like a regular hiring process (and I have personally hired over 250 people, men and women, not to mention interviewed several thousand, over the course of the last 15 years; I’m a pretty seasoned recruiter AND hiring manager at this point!), instead I need to treat it more like a seduction, just to see if by changing tactics we can finally get somewhere with it. I’ve switched to offering to pay for screen tests or conduct video interviews with them now just to get some movement in this, since asking for reels or unpaid screen tests leads to flaking/ghosting/promises to send those shortly then nothing ever comes.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Plenty of girls have at least started excited. Some have sent enthusiastic replies about how they really support what we’re doing and that men really need this.

However, last week I received a reply to one of my invitations from some chick that was an out-and-out screed. This stern lecture she sent me culminated by declaring the stuff we taught does not work at all on women, and that if I ever wanted to start teaching men to be respectful and considerate toward women, which is the stuff she proclaimed ACTUALLY worked, then I could get in touch with her at that point.

It's been a while since I’ve run into a full-on feminist tirade against us. We used to get a lot in the comments sections (many we moderated; but some we allowed) but it’s died down over the years. I guess we’re just not as controversial as some of the folks out there anymore.

Obviously, any guy who’s been a reader here for a while who tests out the material knows it works. Most women seem to know it works too, even if they’re divided about whether they like that or not (increasingly it actually seems like more and more women support us running a place like this – something I would not have predicted a decade ago. Guess there are too many inelegant men out there these days).

But it brought me back to a topic I added to the Girls Chase topics queue a few weeks back (I think inspired by a question a guy or two had asked me):

Why do things work with girls that girls will swear does not?

We're Rolling Out a Male OnlyFans

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By: Chase Amante

manly fansIntroducing ManlyFans, the male answer to OnlyFans. Get gaggles of girls to come to your online male strip show, and rake in those dollar bills.

One of the biggest digital phenomena of the past couple years has been OnlyFans.

OnlyFans exploded onto the scene, sucking in female creators, and drawing in legions of thirsty male fans. Users spent a total of $4.8 billion on the platform in 2021.

While there’s been plenty of debate back and forth about whether girls who present on OnlyFans are dateable – some guys saying a girl being on OnlyFans is an immediate disqualifier, while others say they love their OnlyFans girlfriends, as other guys slaver after a girl only they get to have – there’s one question I’ve heard from our readers for at least a year now:

Why isn’t there a site like this for men?

We all know women work a bit differently than men do. Yet, just the same, this site’s about getting girls to CHASE you, right?

So why not have those girls chase you to the point they’re paying you to take your clothes off?

Tactics Tuesdays: High Authority Direct Openers

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By: Chase Amante

high authority direct openersMany guys open girls direct in an ‘equal’ or even supplicating way. Yet open from a place of authority and your direct openers get a LOT more potent.

There are a few varying angles to use to start a conversation with a girl.

You have your indirect openers (which include things like opinion openers and situationally relevant openers). You have direct openers (including compliment openers and opening with a statement of interest). Then you’ve got your playful/nonverbal openers, and things like indirect direct, which fall somewhere in between.

Today we’re going to talk about direct openers, but we’re going to speak about a certain strain of direct opener: the high authority variant.

Because when you can mix authority in with a direct opener, you get a direct open of a very different and altogether more commanding, compelling, and attractive variety.

The Way a Man Dresses Should Showcase Who He Is

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By: Chase Amante

man dress attractive sideThe way a man dresses is like a megaphone to the world: it says much about him. It’s key the message a man’s clothes convey is both attractive – & accurate.

On the forum, we have a member who’s become fascinated with the idea of dressing like a bad boy. He got the idea from a few of us guys talking about dramatic results we’ve seen with attraction from women simply from upgrading our wardrobes.

There’s just one problem: the forum member in question is very clearly not a bad boy… in fact, he doesn’t even seem to grasp what “being a bad boy” is, or how to act like one.

Even if he succeeds in dressing like a super sexy modern day bad boy, he’s going to run into a huge issue with the women he talks to. The issue will be this:

  • The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to attract women who are really, really looking for a guy who’s a bad boy, and the more disappointed women are going to be when they start talking to this really bad boy-looking man only to discover he’s not a bad boy at all. Plus

  • The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to repel women who are not looking for bad boys, which (if he’s not actually a bad boy, which he isn’t) is likely going to include the girls he likes best.

This is the trick with how a man dresses himself: he has to dress in a way that attracts the women he wants, and he needs to be able to dress in a way that showcases his most attractive sides – not a way that conflicts with them.

3 Ways of Directing a Woman's Behavior

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By: Chase Amante

directing a woman's behaviorHow can a man direct a woman’s behavior? Nice guys offer stuff… controlling guys smother. Confident guys set rules and women follow. But which works best?

When it comes to getting a woman to do something, men fall into three classes:

  1. Guys who hope if they’re nice women will just do what they want.

Approach Defense Among Women You Want to Meet

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By: Chase Amante

women's approach defenseWhen you approach a new woman, she’ll normally have certain defenses in place. Understanding this romantic defense is vital for the savvy romantic pursuer.

Quick caveat: this article is one on seduction theory / underlying principles, rather than more tactical material. I’ll cover some tactics in it toward the end as well, but just a heads up that in this piece we’re looking more at the overarching nature of the dynamic in seduction. We’ll return to more typical stuff in the next article. On with the piece…

Today, we’ll be talking about the receptive/pursued party in a seduction as the ‘defender’. The ‘defense’ mentioned here is defense against pursuit and seduction by the pursuer. This does not mean the ‘defender’ doesn’t want the seduction to happen (the defender may!). We’ll discuss what that means as we get into it.

In every courtship you will have, there are only three possibilities:

  1. You are the pursuer, and the woman is the defender.

  1. The woman is the pursuer, and you are the defender.

  1. Both parties are equally interested and exactly on the same page.

#3 most men will experience most often with girls they meet who they want to ask out, where the girl also wants them to ask her out. These approaches seem so straightforward as to not be like the normal courtship process at all – and in fact, they aren’t (due to the complete lack of resistance). Less commonly, you may experience it with women who are as certain they want to hook up with you as you are with them, or equally as certain they want a relationship with you as you are them.

The rest of the time, one of the parties is going to be the pursuer, while the other party is the defender. Whichever party is taking more assertive, aggressive action is the pursuer. Whichever party stands back is the defender.

The defender decides if the pursuer can proceed forward; the pursuer is responsible for maintaining the forward movement of the seduction and figuring out ways to get the defender’s defenses lowered so the seduction can move forward.

If one of the parties is showing resistance, that party is the defender. If one of the parties is overcoming resistance, that party is the pursuer.

Normally it’s probably more helpful for the man’s psychology while in a seduction to frame seductions as mostly mutual, or a dance, etc. However, there are some concepts we can really only discuss with the framing of pursuit and defense.

For today’s article, we’ll temporarily set aside some of the more helpful mentalities, more conducive to a seductive mindset, to think about these aspects of seduction in a more revealing light.

Tactics Tuesdays: Responding to Women's Dominance Tests

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By: Chase Amante

women dominance testsWomen will test your dominance and leadership abilities at several key points in a courtship. How you respond determines where things go from there.

Picture yourself on a date with a woman. You met her last week via cold approach. Now the two of you are out walking around outside, deciding where you want to go next. She’s in a breezy summer dress, looking quite nice, but she seems standoffish.

There’s a lake five minutes’ walk from where you are with a nice view. You figure that will be a nice spot to visit. “Let’s swing by the lake,” you say. “The flowers are in-bloom. The view will be gorgeous!”

“I don’t want to go to the lake,” she says, sounding a little snippy. “It just rained yesterday. It’s probably all muddy.”

You didn’t ask her to do it; you made a command. You said “Let’s do this.” Her response was to directly test that, objecting to the plan and saying she wanted to do something else.

How do you respond to resistance like this – to these sorts of direct tests to your dating dominance? That’s the subject of this article.

8 Tradeoffs in Girls Men MUST Choose Between in LTRs

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By: Chase Amante

LTR tradeoffsChoosing a partner for a long-term relationship presents tradeoffs. The more a girl is one thing, the less something else she may be. What will YOU choose?

I’m a “have your cake and eat it too” type of guy. I do not like the idea of tradeoff much. If you’re having to make tradeoffs, maybe you just didn’t do things as well as you could’ve!

While that is true some of the time, life has many places where we must accept tradeoffs. Very often, to have one thing, we must accept less of another; especially so when the two things conflict.

One of the many areas in life this is true is in the long-term relationship. That is because some of the things you might think you’d like in an LTR directly conflict with others.

For instance, wanting a passionate relationship that is low drama. Or wanting a vivacious, quick-minded woman who is also submissive and unwaveringly supportive. These traits directly conflict with each other – as do many other desirable qualities in LTRs.

Picking the right long-term relationship pertains as much to knowing what tradeoffs you’re okay with as it does to anything else.