Tom Torero, the beloved day game instructor, has passed away. We remember his life, and take a look at what happened and how to prepare yourself mentally for such events.Well, it's sad that our first post of the new year should be a memorial, but we've lost a guy who helped and inspired legions of men.
People are becoming pricklier, and women are no exception. To succeed with them, you must at times disarm them first. There are 4 different ways to do that.Lately I've been dealing with disarming.
The concept sprung to mind most recently as I realized more and more of our readers are men stuck in the 'standards zone' -- a place where they cannot get the women they want because they don't meet those women's standards. Rather than disarm their concerns (because I wasn't really treating them as part of our target audience before), I argued with guys that women's standards are not actually high... which of course just makes guys who are of this mind close up and dig into where they already are.
Now, arguing with people obviously is not an effective way to open up communication lines with them.
Arguing is what you do when you want to bludgeon someone, either to make an example of him, or to win him over by sheer force of argument... which usually won't carry much farther than a single interaction, and tends to burn through good will.
The thing is, people across the board are becoming more argumentative -- and that goes for women.
People are more opinionated right now then I've seen them since I've been alive. I wasn't around during the anti-war protests in the 1970s, so maybe it was worse then, but at least in the years since the 1980s this is the most prickly I've seen it.
Women in particular are being dosed with all this propaganda about a 'battle of the sexes' going on.
Not all women are equally susceptible to this programming. Some are very, some are a little, some aren't really at all.
However, you will encounter women who are.
To succeed with these women (or, as a less ambitious goal, to avoid unpleasant encounters!), you must be able to disarm their prickly defenses.
You must, in other words, be able to take them off their guards.
More and more men are arguing women’s standards are over-inflated. Does it help to argue against that… or should we be aiding guys to sidestep those standards?Meta post here.
Something's been bugging me for a few years now, feeling like this shift is occurring in the men's space and I'm not keeping my thumb on it totally accurately. After I did two posts on standards last week, I mulled it over over Christmas weekend and I think this whole thing about standards is actually it -- and that we need to make a bit of a course correct here.
For years we've had more and more men drifting onto the site complaining women's standards are too high or that women "aren't worth the work" to get. What began as a trickle became a deluge... then a tidal wave.
Initially, I treated these guys as a nuisance.
I placed them in the same category as feminists telling us we should die or guys telling us pickup is wrong because it's manipulation or that premarital sex is wrong because it hurts women or goes against God's law or what have you.
Then as more and more of the 'too high standards guys' appeared, I just continued treating them that way because I was already in that habit.
They'd come back, claiming it didn't matter what I was saying; if I didn't agree with them I just "didn't get it."
Again, everybody with a strong belief system does this: feminists say we don't get it when we don't accept the patriarchy, "pickup is wrong" folks say we don't get it when we tell them it's not wrong, etc. It's a world views thing.
Yet at the same time, I've watched the seduction space slowly but steadily decline, even as the number of men declaring women's standards are too damn high and women aren't worth the work has exploded.
I've started to realize that unless I can speak to those guys, in a language that clicks with them, I am going to fail to serve what has over time become the majority of men out there, most of whom are frustrated, lonely, and feeling helpless. Arguing with them over whether women's standards are or aren't too high doesn't accomplish that.
So I had a good think, and I realized we need to switch around how we are coming at things a bit here.
Every guy’s on dating apps these days. Yet we’ve never had so many dateless men. If you’re getting no matches on Tinder, it’s time to try something radical instead.Let's talk about a critical trend in the dating world.
Society doesn’t care about men. Women are worshipped. For this reason, men can’t get women. Is this true? Or is it… fantasy?We had a guy register on our forum and derail a thread to talk about how if you're "not in the top 1% of men" women don't want you and you can't get girls.
Needless to say, this is a guy who admittedly does not get girls. So he must know all about what it takes to get girls, eh?
Am I in the top 1% of attractive men? I suppose it depends how you determine that. I tend to think I am, so long as you're taking into account charm, social abilities, resolve, and whatnot. But I can tell you I definitely was not when I started out on this journey... and I still got girls. Some of them quite hot, too.
I shagged a fashion model when I had a beer belly, baggy clothes, mumbled talk, and a little boy haircut! I got a beautiful, vivacious girlfriend who was the niece of the former Secretary of Defense of a Latin American country around the same time! (she didn't want to date me at first, but persistence paid off!)
Our Field Reports Board on the forum is filled with lays from guys who aren't yet in the "top 1% of men" (as well as some guys who probably are!).
But this isn't about "do you need to be top 1% to get girls" (I've already addressed that elsewhere).
This is about this particular excerpt from one of this user's posts in his forum thread:
But it is true though. Women are propped up and worshipped by society. Men are disposable and basically thrown away like defective toys. The only ones with any real power, control or lasting effect over women these days are the 1 percent.
There it is, isn't it?
"Women are worshipped. Men are disposable. Only the top 1% of men can rise above it."
Let's talk about that mentality, and how guys get it... and also why it's a sack of over-ripe mainstream media brain-slave cow manure.
People become hooked to things that give them specific social rewards. A good seduction follows the same principle, weaving a delicious romantic spiderweb.What's it take to create a masterful seduction... one that pulls a woman in and magnetizes her to you, all the way to intimacy?
Talented seducers do something different from what ordinary daters do.
Well, they do many things different, but we're talking about one in particular today:
They construct a path of rewarding social/romantic experiences for women to encounter as they proceed through the course of the seduction with them.
Each step of the seduction journey reinforces to the woman how good it feels to be a part of the seduction, how much she wants to be around this man, and why she must continue.
This 'spiderweb of rewards', built well, keeps a woman hooked into the seduction, a thing that feels so good she does not want to leave.
If you can get yourself to think of seduction as a 'reward generation machine', you will begin to think of it the way all master seducers do.
Toxic behaviors (even the little ones) can make relationships aggravating. Yet there are ways to tackle them… and disincentivize a relationship partner from using them.Unless you've chosen a highly enlightened mate, you'll probably deal with some bad behavior sometimes in relationships. If you've chosen someone who's a little more 'special', you may have more of these to deal with than others do... but almost everyone has to deal with toxic behavior at least occasionally.
Most strategies you'll see for dealing with toxic behaviors are based around withdrawing, closing yourself off, giving the other person space, and so on. This can be an effective approach. It's especially useful for people you decide you just want to wash your hands of.
However, "withdrawing into your shell" isn't so useful a strategy for an ongoing relationship... things like the 'Gray Rock' strategy are really for people you want to out of your life, not those you're entangled with by choice.
So let me give you a couple of more assertive strategies you can use to nix toxic behavior in your relationships.
Rewarding good behavior during courtships and relationships is pivotal to your romantic success. But just how do you go about doing that?On my article about teasing a girl to her friends, a reader named Warcode asks:
Hi chase could you do an article on ways to generally reward her? Whether verbally or physically etc and on the basis of how does this mechanism change from the beginning of knowledge to a type of relationship? The basic mechanism and then decline it to every situation. Then, for example, I do not understand well in a relationship if giving compliments of a various nature and how to do them maybe a you're beautiful is so anonymous and recurring? And if compliments should be made / convey interest how often and of what types ?. I had also read on the forum that in sex do not pay her physical compliments because she gives her too much
Sure, I'd be glad to oblige.
Today, let's talk about rewarding women: when to do it, how to do it, and the nature of rewarding women both during the initial courtship and in ongoing relationships.
Must you be driven to succeed at seducing women? It depends how far you want to take it. Also discussed: success in other areas of life vs. with women.I'd like to talk today about 'drive'. Drive to greatness in anything, be that seduction or anything else.
If you don't care about greatness or aren't seeking it in anything, the discussion in this article is moot to you. You don't need to be great to get girls. You can use the material on Girls Chase without needing to be some legendary seducer and still enjoy as much success as you want.
However, we also get guys coming here who want to talk about greatness; so let us talk about that.
I see this issue raised from time to time that asks whether focusing on women is a distraction. Learning to find, approach, talk to, flirt with, ask out, and bed women may be pulling a man off his grander purpose(s), goes the reservation.
There's some truth to this, of course; when you're very focused on women, you won't tend to be focused on whatever else you are doing.
However, there's another truth, which is this: the rate men succeed at seduction has a lot more in common with the rates they succeed at other passions in their lives than it 'takes away' from such things.
Because, you see, there are underlying factors that impact how well a man does and how far he goes in this art... and many of these underlying factors have a great deal of overlap with other areas of that man's interests.
Rather than seduction 'pushing them out', it's more the case that a man who is sufficiently driven will tend to excel in seduction alongside a few other areas of excellence too.
If you meet a group where the friends are receptive but the girl you want isn’t, what do you do? Simple: you win over the friends, and tease the standoffish girl.This is more of a technique for higher intermediate to advanced seducers, though lower intermediates can toy around with it too (though expect to fail a lot).
Beginners should not attempt this... it will just blow up your face as a beginner.
However, for today, let's talk about a flirtation tactic that can be quite powerful yet requires finesse.
The tactic in question is teasing women to their friends.
This tactic is POWERFUL at achieving a few distinct things:
The effect of it all is that, when executed right, the girl you want will start to chase you, no matter how closed off she was before.
Note: a lot of the basic theory behind this works exactly the same as the old school PUA neg. We're just doing slightly more fun teases, instead of using backhanded compliments.
However, because of the risks of both teasing someone you're not engaged with, and the social rank grabbing you'll be doing, this one's also a bit tricky.
You see, people don't like strangers opining about them, and they don't like you status jockeying with them, either, especially not in their own groups. Because it's her group, she has home turf advantage, too.
So, annoy her too much, and you may quickly find yourself shut out of the group, regardless how much the others laughed at your ribbing of her.
Thus, this is a tactic that is often very useful -- but with which you must be careful.
