Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Why Do Guys Screw Up When the Girl Is Really Hot?

How come when a girl is really hot, you mess up more, even if you don’t with more average girls? There’s a reason for it – and it happens to almost every guy, too.

I recently received an email from a long-time acquaintance who'd left England to begin traveling through Central and South America and get back to picking up girls again while also working as a yoga instructor.

He'd continued sleeping with average girls from dating apps over the lockdowns, then once his trip started, he bedded a few more average girls from hostels. Assuming all was good with his game, and he must be rust-free, he then proceeded to meet an extremely beautiful Argentinian girl... and it all fell apart.

He says:

I met physically my perfect girl who was working on the tour desks. She’s Argentinian and I’m really into Latin girls. I suggested she joined me for dinner and it went really well. I deep dived alot and after dinner moved her to a quiet sofa outside by the pool. She was a little bit tipsy by now from all the Argentinian wine at dinner, and was sitting super close to me. She also told me what an amazing evening she’d had and hugged me twice for a long time. It was the obvious escalation window, only I didn’t do anything!

My reasoning was that I’m new here and don’t want to seem like I was taking advantage of her when she was drunk. I figured I had loads of other opportunities. It was also late and I had to teach yoga in the morning. So we hugged and went our separate ways.

That was a big mistake! She text me the next morning saying how good a night she had. Now all I was thinking about is ‘this is going to be the hottest girl I’ve slept with, when can I get her alone again!’ So I went into full on chasing mode, suggesting she came with me on my weekend trip and suggesting a load of other potential dates. Plus inviting her to come and stay with me in London!

By time we had dinner it was the next week and by then her long distance boyfriend was unexpectedly coming to see her for a day later in the week. She’d also been offered a job in Tulum and was leaving at the weekend. This made me think ‘this is my last chance, need to impress her’ so I was way too high energy. Got her back to my room to drink wine on the balcony, but waited way too long to do anything, plus hadn’t been touching her or leading the conversation towards sex.

Also I’d been doing way too much deep diving that it had become an interview. She was tired so I knew it was my last chance, so tried to kiss her with no setup. She said she just wanted to keep things as they are as we get on really well and I said nothing to persuade her otherwise! I just waited a while and tried to escalate a couple more times, which again was chasing and unsuccessful.

I spoke to her a few times around the hostel in the week afterwards, but just casual friendly stuff. Turns out I’ll be in Tulum next weekend, she said let her know, but feel like it would be hard to arrange to see her without it seeming like I’m chasing. I was so mad with myself the next day! The escalation window had been wide open with a super hot girl, and I decided to walk away! But at least it lead to me re-reading a lot of your stuff!

Now, it wasn't like his game just completely disappeared. Because the very next day this happened:

The next day I had another tinder date with a Mexican girl who didn’t speak English. As I really didn’t care about her of course my game was great and quickly slept with her and had a great night!

He wraps up by asking:

Would you say there should be no difference between game with 10’s than average tinder date girls? If you haven’t written an article on this I think it’s an interesting topic. And how would you play seeing the Argentinian girl again?

I've written about that in places, in snippets, but I don't think I've ever devoted a complete article to the subject.

So, let's do that now. Let's talk about why guys screw up with really hot girls... and whether you can (and should) approach them exactly the same as more ordinary, average, or cute girls.

The 4 Best Ways to Introduce Girls to Your Wingman

By: Chase Amante

There are four good ways to introduce your wingman to girls. Which you choose will depend on how well (or not) the girls have responded to you so far.

How do you approach girls with a wingman?

If you're like a lot of unskilled guys, you'll both go barreling in at once, distracting and possibly intimidating the girls.

The girls are then forced to divide their attention between two guys, and you and your 'wingman' end up in a de facto competition to try to get the girls' attention onto yourselves.

For obvious reasons, this is not so effective.

Another way I've seen guys do it wrong is the one guy opens, and the other just stands out in space and never introduces himself or gets introduced.

Not much good you can do as a wing when you're never in the conversation to, you know, wing.

What we want is to get your wingman in there with you, in a way that helps you with the girl you want and (assuming her friend is cute) sets him up to succeed with her friend too.

We need a little more strategy for this than "both guys go talk at once" or "one guy talks and the other just waits, possibly forever."

Let's talk about opening things with a wingman properly.

Friends Who Value You Less Than You Do Them

By: Chase Amante

You may have friends you feel you need more than they need you. Why does this happen with friends, and what can you do to make it a realer, more equal friendship?

A week ago on the forum one of our members asked me about friends who seemingly value you less than you do them / friends who seem to need you less than you need them.

I'll share part of his post here:

I consider myself a high value guy who’s good with girls , has good conversational skill and a good business he’s built - which does not mean I can’t improve, quite the opposite. Just that I have trouble thinking my problem is value.

but I do struggle with friendships and have a doubt I am not being respected.

How selective should you be with your friends ? How do you build abundance ?

I have about 8-9 people i consider pretty cool that I can go out with 1-2 a month ( some I can see 1-2 a week some I can see once every 2 months).

This feeling that I am more invested in the friendship than they are…

…and that I would like to see them more than they would like to see me bothers the fuck out of me.

I hate this feeling of neediness almost as much as I hated not having abundance with girls.

At the time i discovered that if I hit the streets and bars i only needed 10-20 approaches to bang a cute girl … and that feeling disappeared.

So my question isn’t only how to make new friends but rather, why aren’t all these guys as invested as I am in our ‘ friendship ‘ ?

Is that a respect and value problem ? Or did I target people who don’t go out as much.

First off, let me say I can relate, as I think most people can; unless all your friends are very close, old friendships, you probably have people you're friends with whom you aren't certain value you as highly as you do them.

This feeling is worse when ALL your friends are relatively recent friends.

I didn't stay close friends with anyone I knew before graduating university, and every time I've changed cities I've generally found myself with a bunch of totally new people, going through this same, "Are we valuing this friendship the same amount?" dance.

As our forum member notes, it is due to some degree of neediness, and as with girls it disappears as abundance does. However, like with girls, there are also levels of abundance with friendships too.

So, it can be a little complicated -- but let's talk about the causes and the remedies.

Some Friends Are Bad for Your Dating Health

By: Chase Amante

Don’t let friends’ unproductive beliefs about women seep into your skull. Be careful how the friends around you affect the way you think about dating, sex, and romance.

Friends are great assets to your life. They give you companionship, encouragement, and can introduce new ideas and activities to your sphere you might never have encountered on your own.

Friends can push you into great new things... however, the wrong friend can also hold you back.

On our forum, a member named Shawn discusses how a friend of his warped his mindset toward women, making him far less effective with women as a result:

... since I was going through dry-spell, I just believed whatever he used to say so that at least I'll try something different.There are many things but just off the top of my head: not to tease girls cos it'll come across as try hard, should be friends with girls and take it slow, game is all red-pill and that's bad etc etc There are many things [he told me] but just off the top of my head: not to tease girls cos it'll come across as try hard, should be friends with girls and take it slow, game is all red-pill and that's bad etc etc. I can go on for hours about his advices.

He is the first person I saw so closely putting pussy on a pedestal. He is so sure of himself that whenever I tried to tell him that's not the right way to treat chics, he'd get so defensive that it'd make me wonder if what I'm preaching is even right. He had read pickup material for 4 years. So, I thought he at least has enough knowledge theoritically.

Anyway, like I said earlier, it was just my mistake to get into his frame thinking he's "better" and I do much better solo.

You might think Shawn must be a clueless newbie, but he isn't. About his game before this friend twisted his approach all out of shape, he says:

I was always considered a natural since I discovered game only 3 years ago while I was getting laid through cold-approach long before I knew something like game or cold-approach existed.

I don't know how skilled Shawn is, but cold approach itself is a fairly rare skill set that most men will never attempt on their own. The fact that he was doing it himself (and getting laid with it) implies he's far from a total novice.

But the wrong friend still managed to derail him anyway.

If you're not careful, and you're in a vulnerable state (like the dry spell Shawn found himself in), the wrong friend can have that kind of effect on you, too.

Meet Girls Spots and the Cheerleader Effect

By: Chase Amante

meet girls spots & the cheerleader effect

Men gravitate to places filled with hot girls to do their approaching. Such venues are rarely the best place to meet girls… but men keep going due to the cheerleader effect.

We had a conversation on the forum the other day about better spots to meet women where your odds of successful hookups are higher.

At one point in the conversation Alek Rolstad noted that he's always had the HIGHEST odds of meeting girls who are straightforward to pick up in gay-friendly nightlife venues. That's been my experience too.

A member who's struggled to get traction picking up girls in-field (having been more of a dating app guy) commented that women in gay clubs in the US are "trashy" and that perhaps it's different in Europe.

It's true, there are some trashy women in gay-friendly US clubs. There are nevertheless some genuinely hot women there, too, and they are far easier to get together with there than they are just about anywhere else.

Thing is, most guys won't go to these places.

It's not even just because "there's gay guys there and I don't want people to think I'm gay."

Instead, it's because of something else, that affects men in all their types of venue selection:

Most guys don't pick the venues where it's easiest to get laid.

Most men, rather, gravitate toward venues where the cheerleader effect is on fullest display.

Tactics Tuesdays: Compliance Openers

By: Chase Amante

Start a new conversation with a woman by asking her to do something. Compliance openers kick off interactions with you taking the lead right from the beginning.

For intermediates and up.

Imagine if you could start off an interaction with a woman by having her follow your instructions immediately, instantly kicking things off with a frame of authority, right from the get-go.

That's compliance openers: a handy set of openers that set you up as an authority figure from the very start of your interactions.

I discussed compliance openers a bit a week ago when I talked about cycling through openers, where when a girl fails to engage much on your initial opener, you simply move to a second opener, and perhaps a third.

Today we'll look at using these more in-depth, including a number of examples, plus when to use them vs. when not to.

First, let's have a look at what compliance openers do for you.

Boost Your Meet-to-Lay Ratio | Chat w/ Alek Rolstad

By: Chase Amante

What would you give for a sky-high meet-to-lay ratio?

That is, if for every 5-10 women you approached with intent to seduce, at least one of them ended up in your bed?

Raise your ratio and raise your number of bedmates.

In this podcast interview, I speak with master seducer Alek Rolstad about how to bring your meet-to-lay ratio down and take more girls to bed.

We also discuss Alek's own story, the art of sexual prizing (and many wrinkles thereof), and the three (3) spots Alek's opened up for coaching students and what coaching with him entails.

Here's the interview:

Chicks Bein' Tricky: Watch Out for Pregnancy Traps!

By: Chase Amante

Uncareful men end up unready fathers. Pregnancies can be accidents… but not all accidents are unintended. Here’s how to avoid getting baby trapped.

What's a pregnancy trap?

A pregnancy trap is when a woman intentionally becomes pregnant (or lies about being so). One reason she may do this is to tie a man into a committed relationship whether he wants that or not. Another is to get money from a man, typically in the form of child support.

Pregnancy traps are one of those things you will have people try to convince you "don't really happen" but, in actual fact, are actually not at all uncommon. I've known multiple cases of obvious 'trap pregnancies' personally, of the "gain a man's commitment" variety. The ones I know were all middle class, too -- including by an aunt of mine who owned her own home and had a well-paying corporate job. Very nice, kind, sweet aunt, and it was something of a family scandal when we realized she had pregnancy-trapped a guy.

But that's the thing with pregnancy traps: you imagine it'd be some sneaky, conniving devil woman who'd be willing to pregnancy trap a man... but you can't really tell. The sweet, kindly ones are just as capable of doing it too.

Today we'll take a stroll through the enlightening world of pregnancy trapping, and I'll show you things you possibly had no idea took place (or not to this extent).

Forewarned is forearmed.

Tactics Tuesdays: Opener Cycling

By: Chase Amante

If at first your opener doesn’t hook, try, try again. That’s the basis of opener cycling: using more than one opener on one girl. Don’t just open weak then plow.

Not every time you open a girl will she open with gusto.

Sometimes all you get is a blasé response.

She doesn't reject you, per se, but she isn't exactly ready to dive into a conversation.

You may want to just move on from a girl who's disinterested like this on the opener.

However, what if you want to persist?

If you just stand there and keep talking to her in the same way that failed to engage her the first time around, it doesn't work (I tried plenty of times as a beginner!).

Instead, you can use something I call 'opener cycling'... where you break up your early conversation, staccato-style, to attempt a variety of openers to see if you can't get her to hook.

Why Girls Suddenly 'Pop Back Up' Again

By: Chase Amante

She quit responding to your texts, but then, months later, there she is, messaging you to meet up. What happened, and why did she reappear?

Remember that girl you were texting a couple months ago, who kept dodging your date requests, then eventually ghosted you completely?

Well, she just texted you again, and now it seems like she wants to meet.

What the heck happened?

Should you accept her invitation after that, well, period of darkness she put you through?

There's a simple explanation for why women go through these 'dark periods', and once you understand it, you probably won't take them too personally.

That explanation is this:

She started seeing some other guy, and dropped off the map.

However, she has now stopped seeing him, and she's back on the map again.

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Why Do Guys Screw Up When the Girl Is Really Hot?

The 4 Best Ways to Introduce Girls to Your Wingman

Friends Who Value You Less Than You Do Them

Some Friends Are Bad for Your Dating Health