Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

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By: Chase Amante

what motivates a man
Men of today have lost their motivation to build, fight, work, or get women. What's behind their lethargy, and how can you overcome this in yourself?

We live in a distinctly unmotivated time.

During the settling of the American continent, European settlers burst through with boundless energy. They founded towns, warred with the natives, pushed into hostile and unfamiliar lands, and carved paths through a frontier in search of unknown fortunes.

In the American West, frontier towns brimmed with ambitious men who eschewed the comforts of civilized life, like fine clothes, fine food, or women -- some towns at some points had male-female ratios as stark as 754-to-1. Before the Gold Rush of 1849, California's population was 90% male.

Yet, this bothered the men little, for they were there to find wealth, greatness, or just to build or find something new.

Men of this age didn't need help with women. They found wives readily enough (when they returned to civilization -- or imported them from back home), and those wives didn't divorce them (and only infrequently ran off with other men).

Men of this age didn't lose themselves into aimless pastimes, comfort, and luxury the way men of later ages did either. Most led hard lives, with simple food, simple living, hard work, and simple pleasures.

Yet travel 150 years into the future, and their inheritors are an opposite picture.

American men today sit about all day, riding around in automobiles, their faces glued to screens, their testosterone levels crashed (17% down just from 1987 to 2004 alone), over 50% of the American population non-working (population: 329,227,746 citizens + ~12,000,000+ legal and illegal aliens; jobs: 137,802,000; total U.S. employment: <40.4%). Compare that to the Pioneer Age, when women and children worked all day (on the farm, on the ranch, at the market, making textiles, or in various other occupations)! Many Americans are disinterested in the work available (I have seen numerous men in trades talk about offering jobs or apprenticeships to unemployed younger men and having those younger men turn them down), while many have little thought to the future (1 in 6 older people plan to spend all their children's inheritance).

This apathy extends to all kinds of things, and is on the rise. When I got into the seduction space, most guys weren't that interested in pickup because they occasionally got laid or found girlfriends from their social circles (and that was enough for them).

Today, even fewer men are interested in seduction, yet for different reasons. Rather than it being because they got laid in other ways, a lot of men aren't having sex at all, and are completely apathetic about doing anything to change that situation.

young men no sex
The percentage of men not having sex is shooting skyward.

There's less interest in pickup.

young men no sex
Interest in getting women is down to about 40% of what it was when I founded Girls Chase.

There's less interest in nightlife.

young men no sex
It's been worsening yearly. As of a few years ago, each month only 334 bars opened while 609 bars closed (source).

Men are dating in their social circles much less, and every man is on Tinder, where most women aren't.

what motivates a man
Tinder: the ultimate sausage fest. Worse than any nightclub! Source: Statista

More and more men aren't working, more and more men aren't getting laid, more and more men aren't doing anything other than to sit around with their time, watching their jobs disappear, their women walk by, and their histories vanish, and instead of doing anything to change any of that, more and more men just hang around, observe, and complain.

What's happened to men in the 21st Century, and how did they become so dull?

Framing: "I Hope" vs. "I Know"

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By: Chase Amante

hope vs know
Do you seek approval? Is your behavior tentative or uncertain… or is it clear to women that you are confident – that you just KNOW what you are and what your value is?

Sometime back, I wrote an article on giving girls oral sex (i.e., cunnilingus).

In it, I gave a tip of maintaining eye contact through the session if you want to ratchet up the intensity.

A reader writing in the comment section commented that his girl "hates it, finds it incredibly feminine." He adds that women in pornography "stare up at the guy while giving him a blow job, seeking approval." Then says that his woman doesn't want that.

It took me a moment to wrap my head around where this guy was coming from at first. Yet, then, I realized where that was.

With almost anything you can do, there are different ways of framing a thing, both internally (in your head) and externally (the way you present it).

In this case, here was me framing a thing one way. Then this reader came along and framed it another way.

This difference in framing gets picked up on by the woman herself.

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do When She Pulls a Switcheroo

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By: Chase Amante

switcheroo
If you have an agreement with a woman, then time passes, and she wants to renegotiate for yet more favorable terms… what do you do?

A woman writes on Reddit about her relationship:

I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

Now, Reddit, as you might expect, being Reddit, is in full support of this woman.

I'm not really interested in whether she should take your name, or the kids should take her name, or you hyphenate last names, or whatever. The whole situation is frankly a little ridiculous.

Regardless, my interest in this seemingly petty affair is this: what do you if you've already established something in a relationship, and then your woman decides to unilaterally change it?

The guy here was obviously upset. But look how he reacted: he just went off and sulked.

This is not the way you deal with someone attempting to renegotiate previously settled terms.

When a woman wants to pull a switcheroo on you, you don't beg, plead, or sulk.

Instead, if you can't shut it down, or talk it out calmly, you pull a switcheroo right back.

Don't Tell Women Your Weaknesses

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By: Chase Amante

tell girlfriend your weaknesses
Sometimes you want to open up to a girl and tell her your fears and weaknesses. But this behavior itself is a weakness – and you should not indulge it.

I have seen a certain behavior since I got into the seduction community that seems to be fairly common.

It is a behavior of men seeking to bond with women by opening up about their weaknesses, foibles, and fears. Or else seeking to use women as de facto therapists.

The end result is rarely what the man hopes for: instead, it hardens the woman on the man, turns her against him, and leads to him (the man) getting hurt.

Every time I see a man do this, my reaction is, "Why would you do that?"

And a lot of the time the man will answer with, "I thought she would care about me," or, "I just wanted to feel accepted," or, "I thought it was safe to open up to her."

Or they will say, "I thought women liked vulnerability."

It is true, women do like vulnerability. However, they like strong vulnerability.

They despise weakness.

Women are not cruel by default. But they very often are cruel to men they view as weak. This is an important principle to understand: women are kind to strong men, and cruel to weak men. This is because women adore strong men, and women despise weak men.

Even women with good hearts. Even women who do not want to hurt anyone. If you show weakness (not vulnerability, but weakness) to a woman, she is going to feel the emotion of disgust. She may be self-aware enough to resist this emotion, and recognize an injured soul and tell herself to feel compassion for you, but she is still going to be disgusted nevertheless.

You must not go around showing or flaunting weaknesses to women.

Especially not women you want to sleep with or have any kind of ongoing relationship with.

Should You Flake on Her First? Well, There Are 5 Pros and 3 Cons

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flake on her first
It's an old tactic, but you may not have tried it. Should you flake on your date first… before she flakes on you? There are 5 good reasons to… yet 3 cons to keep in mind.

There's an old flake-reduction tactic I first learned about 14 years ago.

The tactic is simple: you flake on her first.

This guy who told me about it mentioned he'd flaked first on his last six dates. Then he rescheduled his meets with them. Each of the six jumped into bed with him on Date #1. None of his dates flaked on him back.

He was still testing it out, he said, and couldn't confirm it was an always-reliable technique... but the early signs looked promising.

I filed that away mentally as an interesting anecdote, but not something I was bold enough to try at the time. At the time, I was only just starting out. I still needed to worry about getting dates in the first place... I was not in a place to start flaking on those dates.

1.5 years and a fair bit of romantic progress later, I had a date with a very attractive girl. However, I also had a lot of things going on. And I forgot the date. I was at a trendy upscale nightclub with a friend, and in the midst of talking to new girls, forgot I had one I was supposed to meet up with that night already.

Well, my date messaged. I saw the message, realized I'd forgotten the date, and told her I wasn't coming. Then she called. I had to awkwardly apologize and tell her I'd forgotten I'd promised my friend we'd hang out.

"So... you're not coming?" she asked again.

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I can't tonight," I said.

"... okay," she said.

I apologized again, and hung up. I felt really bad.

The next day I texted her, apologized again, and offered to reschedule. She accepted.

A few days later I met up with her. She was more or less ready to go already when I arrived. We had a few drinks at the bar, she was super flirtatious, then I pulled her. Two hours into the date I shagged her. We went a few rounds, and she was super sweet to me after.

I was... surprised how it played out, to say the least. "I thought she'd want nothing to do with me after I forgot our date," I thought.

Then I remembered that instructor's experiments 1.5 years earlier. 'Flake on her first' had worked for me, just as it had for him. And I definitely wasn't advanced at that point yet, either.

Maybe it wasn't such a challenging tactic to pull off, after all.

Beauty Is the Reward of Valor

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By: Chase Amante

beauty is the reward of valor
Women don't respond to timorous men. But they respond (in almost shocking ways) to strong, driven, valiant ones… with beauty as valor's reward.

Writing of the invasion in 396 A.D. of Alaric and the Goths into Greece (not long before the fall of Rome, and well after Greece had declined as a regional power and slid into decadence and decay), Edward Gibbon notes:

The troops which had been posted to defend the Straits of Thermopylae, retired, as they were directed, without attempting to disturb the secure and rapid passage of Alaric; and the fertile fields of Phocis and Boeotia were instantly covered by a deluge of Barbarians who massacred the males of an age to bear arms, and drove away the beautiful females, with the spoil and cattle of the flaming villages.

...

The vases and statues were distributed among the Barbarians, with more regard to the value of the materials, than to the elegance of the workmanship; the female captives submitted to the laws of war; the enjoyment of beauty was the reward of valor; and the Greeks could not reasonably complain of an abuse which was justified by the example of the heroic times.

The descendants of that extraordinary people, who had considered valor and discipline as the walls of Sparta, no longer remembered the generous reply of their ancestors to an invader more formidable than Alaric. "If thou art a god, thou wilt not hurt those who have never injured thee; if thou art a man, advance:—and thou wilt find men equal to thyself."

The Goths had finished sacking Asia Minor, yet, unable to breach the walls of Constantinople, had wheeled about, crossed back into Europe, and burned a path through Greece.

The Greeks, no longer the manly warriors of their forebears, retreated, leaving the pass of Thermopylae unguarded. 900 years earlier, the Spartan King Leonidas I had for three days resisted a 100,000-man Persian army with a force of 300 Spartans and 700 Thespians at Thermopylae. And even only 140 years earlier, circa 250 A.D., the Greeks halted an earlier Gothic invasion at Thermopylae. This time, however, the soft and timorous Greeks retreated from the pass, and the Goths carved through, slaughtered the young men like pigs, and took the females as their prizes.

You might at first pity the Greeks.

Poor soft, unwarrior-like, decadent Greeks, invaded by the savage Goths, the quivering young men of Greece murdered, the fair young women of Greece carried away as war brides.

Yet, the people and land of Greece were hers to lose. Her soldiers shrunk back in fear of the invading Goths, and the Goths claimed their spoils, of blood, gold, and women.

And as Gibbon says, the enjoyment of beauty is the reward of valor.

Beauty is not something enjoyed by the man too cowardly to earn it.

In your own life, too, if you wish to enjoy beauty, you must behave with valor.

If She Tells You Not to Wear a Condom, Wear a Condom

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By: Chase Amante

you don't need to wear a condom
If a woman tells you not to wear a condom, should you listen? Well, no – while going bareback can be fine sometimes, you don't want to do it with girls like this.

Imagine this: you've just brought a girl home from your usual method of seduction.

Perhaps you picked her up at a bar. Or you met her elsewhere then brought her on a date. Maybe you invited her over off a dating app.

Things have gone well, and the two of you are now in bed. She's topless, and you've cleared her final hurdle of last-minute resistance. You peel her jeans and panties off, then rip your pants off.

"You don't need a condom," she tells you. Her genitals are spread open in front of you and you're about to go in.

What's your reaction?

Gonna strap up anyway, or you going in rawhide?

If you're a 'condoms always' guy, that's an easy answer for you, I suppose.

But what if you're a 'condoms sometimes' guy?

How do you know if this girl is one of the 'sometimes'... or not?

Dating App Gurus vs. Pick Up Artists: What's the Difference?

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By: Chase Amante

dating app gurus
More and more, guys who succeed with women on dating apps are claiming their way is the 'best way.' But do these guys have superior seduction skills – or are they full of hot air?

When I was a seduction neophyte, cutting my teeth on game, everyone agreed: online dating was good for a few easy lays and a little momentum. Nevertheless it wasn't where you wanted to hang your hat.

There were guys then who specialized in it. But the rule of thumb was, the more into online a guy was, and the less 'real world', the more of an introverted, and frequently kind of odd, guy he was. Online was its own unique niche... but nobody went around equating it with pickup. The two were different things.

Online and pickup/seduction overlapped in some ways. But online always only ever covered a subsection of the skills and tool sets a man learned in cold approach pickup.

Recently, however, there's been a sort of ideological schism.

With the normalization of dating apps, the number of men whose lays come mostly or entirely from dating apps has skyrocketed.

And, increasingly, these online dating guys are getting some rather large egos.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Behave When Her Arousal Spikes

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By: Chase Amante

arousal spikeWhen she looks down, smiles, and brushes her hair back, you've spiked arousal.

During the course of every seduction, at certain points a woman's arousal will spike.

She'll go from "This guy's interesting to talk to" to "Wow, I think I like this guy."

At some other next point she'll then go from "I think I like this guy" to "Ohhhh... I want this guy."

You can see these arousal spikes (they get called 'buying temperature spikes' or 'BT spikes' in the seduction community) fairly obviously much of the time. Women will do things like:

  • Droop their eyelids ('bedroom eyes')

  • Smile lasciviously at you

  • Move much closer to you

  • Let out a little moan

  • Blush/flush their cheeks

  • Flash (suddenly raise) their eyebrows at you

  • Begin to touch you on their own

  • Let their lips part and mouth hang open a bit

  • Tilt their heads at you

(incidentally these are all things you can -- and should! -- do yourself as your seductions progress to create the feeling of greater intimacy and escalation)

When you see a few of these signs, it's a pretty clear indicator you're turning her on.

So what do you do when you see them?

Jump all over them?

Point them out?

Girl Types: Distracted or Sexually Repressed Women

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repressed woman
Ever meet a girl whom you never see express sexuality in any way, around you or any other guy? She might not be asexual – she might just be repressed.

Sometimes a woman's sexuality is repressed.

Or, she is so distracted by her other interests in life that boys and sex take a back seat.

When you meet her and you're with her, you won't pick up on any kind of sexual vibe from her. She doesn't talk about sex with you. If you bring it up, she changes the subject. If you joke about it, she ignores the joke. All the fun sexual stuff you do with most girls to her just bounces off. The vibe is 'interested in you but not really in a romantic way'.

Yet, if you do things right, and continue to lead her forward, you can bed her. She is not a 'friend zone' girl or someone without a sex drive.

It's confusing at first. Every guy's met girls his tactics don't work on because the girl's not interested. Such a girl deflects everything you say or do, yet 10 minutes later you see her draped all over another guy. The problem in this case is not 'her'... it is 'her plus you/your game'.

With distracted or repressed girls, this is not the case. You'll do your thing with them, not get your usual reaction, but then if you walk off they will not be draped over another guy should you see them later. If you're in a bar or another place people socialize lots, they might be in another non-sexual looking conversation, or they'll still be alone, having had some other guys come up, take their shots, fail to feel anything happening, then wander off too.

Repressed/distracted girls tend to often actually be fairly straightforward to bed... if you know how they work.

This article is about how they work.