(2) Intermediate

Just met with a client who is doing pretty well for himself – he slept with a few girls off a coaching session we had late last year, and is a likeable enough guy in his own right with plenty of women interested in him. During this evening’s session, we discussed a couple of different things, and one of the things we discussed was dating.

One of the things we touched on in dating was having “straightforward dates.” I mentioned how my dates these days typically entail a girl meeting me and going to a café or a bar with me, us having a little to eat and drink, then me inviting her home and us proceeding to get intimate together.

My client said I made it sound easy, but he didn’t think it was. I told him I didn’t really want to do the whole shopping / visiting art galleries / doing crazy things, and neither did the girl; we both just wanted to talk a bit, then get together, so why not just do that? Keep things to straightforward dating, basically.

A few posts back we discussed how girls show interest. That post, though, was primarily focused on how you can tell a woman’s interested in you once you’re already talking to her. Let’s rewind it backward in the interaction a bit.

I’ve been having a lot of one-shot successes lately, where I only talk to one girl and the girl and I then get together later. The primary reason for this is that my situational awareness has gotten high enough that I’ve gotten rather skilled at being able to pick up on what girl wants to get to know me, then capitalizing on it.

I’m writing this article not as a “how to” on being a good lover, but rather to explain the rationale behind why I think you ought to be one. I may get around to giving specific insight on technique at some point [UPDATE: see the end of this article for links]; like seduction in general, there’s a lot of advice on the topic but the actual good information is spread out quite far and there’s a lot of nonsense out there. But that’s for another time. Anyway, on with our post…

There are two reasons that nearly every woman I get together with falls very quickly and very deeply in love with me. One of them is that I give a woman a mental and emotional experience like no other man does – I make her feel good, and special, and accepted, but also empowered, emboldened, and ambitious, in ways that probably no one else ever has. I am a motivator, an encourager, and I truly, genuinely want a woman who comes into my life to leave feeling like the world is within her grasp and anything she wants she can reach, with enough determination and perseverance. Women know very quickly that I am one of those rare few people in life who will truly believe in them, and be on their side 100% of the way.

The other reason women fall for me so hard is that I give them better sex than anyone ever has, or likely ever will.

Ah, one of my favorites – the Shy Excited Girl. She’s the one who acts demure and conservative, but she’s bursting at the seams with excitement and exuberance underneath (hopefully for you, although quite often just in general about life). I love these kinds of women personally because they have a kind of innocent enthusiasm about life that’s just contagious, and they tend to be very self-improvement oriented, which means that as you continue to grow and change and evolve, they’re the most likely of any woman out there to keep pace.

These girls are different from regular shy, quiet girls, and from wild party girls. They’re not soft on the inside like regular shy, quiet girls are; nor are they operating with reckless abandon on the outside like wild party girls are. Instead, Shy Excited Girls are full of life, energy, and curiosity, but they modulate that on the outside with reserve and practiced calm. They’re the girls who were filled with boyish energy when they were young, but society pushed back against them and they learned to control themselves and appear more “ladylike” on the outside. But in reality, they’re tigresses.

Shy Excited Girls will often seem quiet and reserved, but you can typically tell by their strong eye contact and decisiveness (as well as their tendency to get excited about all manner of things, laugh a lot, and generally be quite free) that they know what they want, and they know what they don’t want, and they’re going to get what they want and have nothing to do with what they don’t want. These women have the most raw, natural confidence of any kind of woman, and refreshingly don’t really care all that much what other people think. They do what they want.

Taking a step back from our usual breakdowns and analyses, I want to focus on something that’s been on my mind for the better part of, oh, my entire career in seduction: what do you owe a woman you’ve brought into your life?

I consider myself a pretty exceptional guy. I mean, I’ve always been a man of extremes, and women have always been cast to the emotional extremes around me – they love me, they hate my guts, they love me again, they want to stab me in the back and get revenge on me, then they come to me and tell me I’m a man with a good heart and the best experience of their lives. And I have focused hard on developing myself in as many ways as possible, to provide as much unique value to the lives of those around me as possible – the women in my life being no exception. I bond with the women I spend time with like no one in their lives ever has, and I take them to bed better than anyone ever has or ever will. In long-term relationships, I try to take girls on fun / unique / amazing experiences, and do things with them that other boyfriends might be scared to do. I want every woman I’m with to be able to look back on me and say, “Chase was the experience of a lifetime.”

But when you build expectations like this, sometimes you aren’t always able to meet them. Sometimes a girl sees you and likes you so much that she wants all of your time; and you wish you could give it to her, but you simply can’t. I tell girls now; I tell them forthrightly, “I can’t promise you anything. I could be gone tomorrow and might not be back for years.” Yet, they still fall hard for me and want as much from me as they can get.

I’ve always been a strong proponent of meeting women via cold approach – that is, going and meeting women who are strangers whom you don’t know and who don’t know you – rather than via social circle. Both have their strengths and their weaknesses, but I think overall that the rules of social circle put far greater constraints upon your potential success and mental well-being than do the rules of cold approach.

To give a quick summary, a man who’s meeting women through social circle is going and hanging out with his friends at parties and bars and nightclubs, talking to the same people night after night, and gradually trying to work his way into success with women in his circle. He’s generally going to be competing for the boyfriend role (see “Telling Women You’re NOT Boyfriend Material”), he’s going to be competing for it with a host of other men, and he’s going to be competing on traditional early boyfriend stuff – trying to act like a girl’s boyfriend before they get together. On the plus side, women here are more accepting of men and less likely to run off quick and be flighty, so it might feel easier.

Here’s one I absolutely love. Not much to write on in this article, because we’re just talking about a facial expression here, so it’ll be a short one. The expression we’re discussing here is the one called “The Skeptical Look.”

You ought to learn this look and make it a core part of your repertoire of expressions if it isn’t something you regularly use. Check the picture attached to this article for an example of what I’m talking about here – look at how the guy is looking at the girl. The skeptical look is extraordinarily useful, and it’s a look you’ll be using in a variety of scenarios. As we touched on in yesterday’s entry, “How to Get Wild Party Girls,” you want to be using as much nonverbal communication as possible in your interactions. This is one of the ways you’ll be doing that.

If you have any friends who are naturally good with women – with meeting women in bars, or nightclubs, or parties, or cafés, or the street, or wherever they meet them – guys who are successful with women, who meet women and take them home fast and get intimate with them – you’ve probably seen the skeptical look. It’s just an expression that strong, sexy men tend to use. You using it communicates to women that you’re among that elite group of highly desirable men yourself.