Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

When Girls Date or Sleep with You But Keep Dating Other People

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl seeing other peopleWhen you start seeing a girl, but she’s going out with other guys too, what’s it mean? Does it mean she’s loose… or is this a totally normal thing?

One of those shocking things when you’re newer and first start getting success is the girl you just laid who keeps seeing you but, it turns out, is seeing other guys too.

Is she actually not into you? Is she a big slut? What the heck is going on?

It seems to go against the standard “female dating objective” MO: guys want sex, girls want relationships. Once a girl has sex, she should want a relationship, right? But if she wants a relationship, why would she be hanging out with other dudes still?

Well, there are some reasons why – reasons that may have to do with you, and others that may have to do with her.

Can Men Be Vulnerable in Their Relationships?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

vulnerable in a relationshipMen are supposed to be strong. Right? But not emotionless, either. As a man, can you be vulnerable in your relationships… and if so, how much?

A reader commenting on my article on firefighting problems in relationships asks about showing vulnerability in a relationship:

I made the observation that women are not terribly aware of all the little mistakes that you make in life, because they are also human beings, who make mistakes all the time, and who happen to be unattractive many times as well. Doesnt it make you much more "human" to profess that you, as a human being, are not super strong and super attractive, and super high value all the time, and that you also do struggle, stand up again, and keep trying?

Where is the vulnerability in your approach? Is it such a deadly sin to tell a women in a relationship, that you are not happy when she flirts with other guys in front of your eyes, and that it makes you feel insecure, because you love her? Is that really "weak"? I feel its much more a profession that you as well have feelings, and that if she continues this behaviour, you will not be able to tolerate someone keep neglecting your feelings. Isnt "strong vulnerability", where you are aware of your own unattractiveness and your own flaws, a much more self-accepting and self-loving way of pursuing a relationship/marriage.

I'd be curous to hear your thoughts man. Thank you!

It’s a good question. I want to handle it with some delicacy, because, well, it is a delicate thing we’re discussing here. Namely, how much can you set your heart at a woman’s feet, and how much can you not?

How vulnerable can men be in their relationships?

How to Choose the RIGHT Girl on a Night Out (& Get Her Into You)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

choose the right girlOut at night, you must pick a girl to focus on if you want success. To do so, pick the right girl, focus on her, and take care not to inspire jealousy among her friends…

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing great.

Today I’ll continue where I last left off last time in my article on factors that influence whether a girl can be picked up that night. I discussed why choosing a girl when out at night is crucial, committing to her instead of being a social butterfly who flirts with everyone.

When you flirt with everyone, you end up home alone with a burrito in your hand (literally and metaphorically). This applies to night game as you will likely open multiple girls and different groups and may get a few good leads. If you are on fire, many girls may be chasing you, which is good for social proof and your mood. The problem is, sticking with that for too long generates auto-rejection and makes you appear indecisive. If you are lucky, you still waste valuable time you should have spent isolating, establishing rapport (building a connection), and escalating the vibe to push an interaction further.

Eventually, you must select your girl of the night. We discussed choosing which girl to commit to (aside from looks and personality, which matter, of course. It’s subjective but should weigh in nevertheless). Choosing the wrong girl may cost you the night (if your goal is getting laid that night, which is the meta in night game as taking numbers is unreliable in this setting).

Some factors to look for:

Act Like You Belong and You Can Go Anywhere

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

act like you belongYou can walk and talk your way into places by acting like you should be there. People pay more attention to behavior than you think – & less to credentials.

Once, many years ago, just a few years into my seduction career, I was in Singapore with a couple of friends and entered a nightclub. It was one of the higher end clubs in town.

One of my friends, a local, wanted to move into the VIP-only area. The girls there were much hotter, he said. The only problem was the narrow stairway into it had two large bouncers keeping guard – and the two were frequently stopping people entering to inspect whether they were in fact members or not.

“Just walk in with your chin way up like you’re a celebrity and are used to walking in there,” my friend said. “No one will stop you.” So my other friend and I marched in with him, heads held high, doing our best to look like modern royalty, and sure enough, a moment later we were picking up on girls in the VIP. They were indeed hotter (and friendlier) there.

Not long after that, I crashed a private party at a San Diego nightclub, rolling right past the bouncer checking names at the door, by walking up behind a couple whose names he’d just checked and acting as if I was probably with them. Since then, I have often toured through roped-off or doorman-guarded areas of nightclubs just by walking proudly in, chest held high, either ignoring the bouncers or, at other times, giving them a confident nod. Sometimes while in these areas I have looked out and watched numerous other people get stopped trying to enter as I’ve privately marveled at how I sauntered right in.

I’ve entered closed-off areas of venues, restricted beaches (though be careful with these; they can be restricted due to hazardous conditions), and even establishments that have closed down for the night just by walking right in like I’m supposed to be there.

Today we’re going to talk about walking right into places you’re not supposed to be.

Are You Just READING or Are You APPLYING?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

reading vs. applyingReading and watching material is great for the added tactics and perspectives. But if you truly want success in anything, you must apply yourself at it.

I got an email the other day from a former reader who claims he’s going to stop reading Girls Chase after years of readership because it’s been “extremely negative” for him and nothing he’s read here has “stood out to him.”

I’ve received thousands of emails and messages from men over the years who’ve told me how this site has transformed their lives. I know of what kinds of results guys get when they apply the material. I have also seen guys all across the spectrum, from guys who achieved just okay results, to guys who struggled to get anywhere – and I have seen the patterns among them, too.

When I browsed the email from this unhappy former reader, I saw all the familiar patterns I see among the guys who fail to get results. Namely, he spoke a lot about reading the website, and nothing at all about applying the material.

He did not mention number of women approached, or whether he’s done any approaching at all. He didn’t discuss his experiences deep diving, chase framing, using VAC or SAC, or his encounters during day game or night game (or even online). He didn’t mention owning any of the products (which are designed to streamline and target the learning process) or participating on the forum (which is designed to provide community support).

The entirety of his email was “I read a bunch for years, I didn’t get anything out of it, I’m not reading anymore.” Now, WHY exactly you would read something for years that you got nothing out of, I cannot say (personally, if I’m not getting something out of reading something, I drop that something in about 15 minutes maximum… but maybe that’s just me?).

Regardless, I think it’s worth stressing, just for other readers in a similar boat, the point that if you aren’t applying what you’re reading, you’re probably getting very little of the value out of it has to offer.

You must APPLY what you read to benefit from it.

Talking to Girls in Groups: Fun Gambits You Can Use

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

girl group gambitsGirls in groups may seem intimidating. Yet with the right approach, groups of girls can be fun (and romantically productive!). So, put these gambits to use…

Hi guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today I want to continue discussing hooking. Hooking applies to all interactions, whether it’s day or night game. It is prominent in night game, especially heavier forms of hooking. The more complex hooking techniques in night game focus on attention grabs and stimulation. In day game, lighter hooking techniques, such as a few light assumptions, some intrigue, a light story, or rapport questions can do the trick.

In night game, you need more juice. Your hooks must be more stimulating because you are in a competitive environment that is more energized.

Another unique aspect of day game is that you are dealing with groups. Often, groups of three girls are common, but also groups of two (ouch, challenging to deal with for logistical reasons), or sometimes you need to work with bigger groups.

Now this may seem like an extra challenge, but knowing how to deal with groups can benefit you. When you handle a group properly, you can get your girl to like you more and win her friends over, making you appear more attractive and helping with your overall plans.

So, today, I’ll tell you how to hook groups and present gambits that are especially suited for groups.

The gambits do not differ much from my usual hook gambits. I just add a few tweaks. First, I’ll discuss “generalized” group hook techniques and move on to “individualized” group hook gambits.

Having Sexual Intercourse that Lasts 45 Minutes or More

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sex for 45 minutesCAPTION

Sex for 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or more should not be a backbreaker for you as a man.

But for many men it is.

Here’s a quote from a guy who had sex for 20 minutes, and considered that a Herculean effort:

Recently found the one, thought i had a big sex drive, until I really turned her on

And by god, she turned on

she turned on like a 1990 brand new honda civic

I mean like, jesus christ, 10 min in and I was fighting for my fuckin' life

After 20 whole minutes of grueling, internal screaming, trying my absolute best to keep it in, while thinking of the most horrible, gut wrenching gore i have ever seen just for that few minutes more, I finally made her cum

My arm, my hip and my legs all hurt like hell and I just layed down and fucking turned off like a windows 95

woke up 15 min later to her provoking me to do it again

 

And that's how I died folks

Many men commiserated in the comments with this guy. Some recommended giving women oral sex to deal with these more ‘voracious’ women. A few guys (like I was on reading it) were shocked at this guy acting like 20 minutes of sex was a long time or an achievement… however, another guy claimed that thinking 20 minutes of sex is NOT long “tells us you’ve never had sex before” and that “thrusting your pelvic for 20mins straight will burn your legs off.”

A lot of men really do think 20 minutes of sex is a LONG time!

The average duration of sexual intercourse is 5.4 minutes. This guy writing the comment above, who went for 4x the average length, was indeed something of a champ among the Average Joe crowd.

Today, though, I’m going to tell you how to have sex for 45 minutes, an hour, two hours, or more, without “burning your legs off” – that way you can give women the kind of deep satisfaction most men (who last far less long) will never be able to give them.

Tactics Tuesdays: Clean Your Place Before Inviting Girls Over

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

clean your place before inviting girls overGirls flee the homes of men with dirty bath & bedrooms. Just how important is it to clean? Very – IF you want to close girls and keep them around, anyway.

This seems like common sense to me, but I’ve always been a neat freak. Probably why I haven’t bothered writing much about this before.

But, if you’re going to invite a girl over, clean your place! Clean your whole pad; clean your bathroom, especially.

If you want my real advice, it is, “Get into a habit of cleaning at least once weekly. Also, clean before you have any company.”

I realize cleaning does not come to every man naturally. But if it doesn’t, it’s an excellent habit to acquire.

Study: Women Are More Swayed by Compliments When Non-Fertile

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women swayed by complimentsWomen in their luteal (non-fertile) phase are more swayable by some types of compliments. Which ones, why, and why not for single, fertile women? Read on…

I realize genuine interest is out of fashion in the seduction community of late (probably an overcorrection due to neo-direct). Nevertheless, this study’s too interesting to not relate.

We often tell guys “It doesn’t matter what you say. Just get talking to her!”

For the most part it’s true. For a guy who’s hung up on what opener to use, who as a result is NOT opening, it’s DOUBLY true! This guy will get way more girls using any opener than he will standing around, twiddling his thumbs, trying to come up with the perfect opener, missing girl after girl he could have spoken with.

But for guys who’re actively approaching – who were going to make the approach regardless – the opener can make an impact. It can influence how a woman receives you on the open, and even have ripple effects later on into the interaction.

That’s what we’ll discuss today.

If you’re not talking to enough girls, this article should NOT matter to you – it’s just splitting hairs in your case.

However, if you’re active in the field, it may just be of interest.

Is She Shy or Does She Just Want Attention?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

is a girl shy or attention-seeking?It can be tough to determine if a girl is interested but shy… or just wants your attention. Use these telltale clues to figure out which camp she falls in.

Hey guys, welcome back.

(Advanced guys will benefit the most from this post).

Last week I discussed hooking and dealing with positive, neutral, and negative responses to your openers and hook gambits.

I mentioned situations when the girl responds positively, yet not as favorably as you’d like: not positive enough to make you feel comfortable escalating the vibe (touching, sexualizing, etc.).

Perhaps the vibe is great. The girl is smiling, laughing, and displaying many signs of interest, yet you feel stuck and unable to escalate.

She is so hot and cute. You think, “Finally, I am meeting a girl who seems interested!” You want to play it safe and not make a move.

Right off the bat, let me say that this is a terrible strategy.

Remember, any interaction that stagnates and doesn’t move forward will erode. The only exception to this is when the girl is part of your social circle, in love with you, and things will work out anyway. And even then, a stagnating interaction is potentially dangerous.

Consider those typical “all-nighters” with a sweet, compliant girl you believe is genuinely into you. Both of you spend time together, laugh and have fun, only to face major resistance the moment you try to escalate. The best-case scenario: you part ways. The worst-case scenario: some random jerk picks her up.

Never let the interaction stagnate. You have two choices:

  1. If you make a move, things either work out and go uphill or not work out and go downhill.

  1. If you make no move, things will not work out, deteriorate, and go downhill.

Why?

  • She will get bored eventually. Women love the tension and stimulation from interactions when men escalate or attempt to escalate the vibe (assuming they are interested in the guy).

  • If you do not make a move, you disqualify yourself as a confident, sexual man; therefore, she views you as an unsuitable lover. Bad.

  • The frame becomes less sexual as the interaction progresses. But if the frame becomes more sexual, you are less likely to face resistance, including last-minute resistance the moment you try to escalate. The resistance from her cognitive dissonance is caused by experiencing two different perceptions that clash.

So, to calibrate, you need information. When she reacts positively, it’s a reaction you can calibrate to. You can calibrate differently if you receive a negative reaction. If the interaction stagnates, you get no reaction and no information you can calibrate to. You will be in the dark. Not ideal.

You can find more information here: If You're Stuck in a Seduction, Do This.

Let’s say you followed my advice and received a somewhat positive response from a girl (but not as positive as you’d wish, or she is not showing obvious signs of interest). Yet you make a move on her.

But some resistance occurs. Let’s go over four causes of resistance and how to deal with each.

First, a few words about compliance for review.