Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Girls Show Interest

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By: Chase Amante

Women are subtle in how they show interest. Well, by male standards, anyway. Even when women think they are blatantly obvious, they’re quite often being very subtle by male standards.

Learning to tell how girls show interest is a very valuable skill for a man, because it will allow him to operate with greater assurance he’s making the right move at the right time, and will also allow him to pick up the pace when a woman signals she is ready.

The last couple of girls I slept with surprised me a little at how quickly they were ready to get together. They gave me some hints that probably would’ve seemed fairly subtle; a friend of mine remarked that one of the girls I took home and bedded rather quickly quite recently hadn’t even seemed to be terribly interested in me, and that it just looked like we were having a good conversation. Being able to read the signals they gave me was the main reason I moved as quickly with them as I did.

Self-Expansion and Growth in Relationships

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By: Chase Amante

Back in the old days, when I was much more a relationship-focused kind of guy than a seduction-focused kind of guy, I built this model for relationships, since I hadn’t seen any good concrete models out there and I thought it could be useful. The idea didn’t get a whole lot of interest from folks at the time, so I didn’t bother to do a lot of writing on it or really lay the model out anywhere, but it was called GISS, and the “G” in GISS was the central point the others connected to, and it stood for “Growth.” Growth was the keystone of a relationship that supported the other three pillars and was the key defining aspect of what made a solid, successful partnership.

I’m recalled to this today by a fascinating article I just read in the New York Times titled “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage”, which could just as easily be about long-term relationships in general as it could marriages specifically. The central element of the ‘me’ in the title of the article is, as it turns out, all about shared personal growth in one’s relationship. The title might perhaps have been a bit more suiting were it worded “The Happy Relationship is the ‘We’ Relationship”, but the point is it’s about that keystone element that’s so essential to the proper running of a long-term relationship.

Need Help Writing Your 2011 Resolutions? Some Suggestions...

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By: Chase Amante

Probably by now you have your New Year’s resolutions all done up and set to go for 2011, and you’re charged up and (hopefully) already setting to work turning those resolutions into reality.

I’ve always been a little anti-New Year’s resolutions myself, but that mostly because I’m just kind of a humbug, contrarian kind of cat. When I stop and think about it, I often do set a number of goals at the very beginning of the year, which for all intents in purposes are, in fact, resolutions for the new year. So, I grudgingly accept that now I, despite my protestations otherwise, do in fact make New Year’s resolutions. And they do, in fact, help.

So if you’re a little on the lazy side, or a bit of a humbug like me, and you don’t usually do resolutions for the next year, I invite you to do things a little different this year and join me in setting a few goals for yourself in 2011.

Girls Chase: A Look at 2011

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By: Chase Amante

Many, many thanks to you for making 2010 a great year for this site and this company. Depending on whom you put your faith in, we had 8600 visitors in December according to the site’s AwStats; 2400 visitors in December according to Google Analytics; and 1200 visitors in December according to Quantcast. There are plenty of sites out there that draw bigger crowds, but no matter how you dice it, for this site, that’s about a 600% increase over where we were a year ago, and it’s going up progressively every month. And the comments and emails I’ve gotten from guys have been great; thanks much to everyone who’s commented or sent me correspondence. These things reassure me I’m not some Internet crazy yelling nonsense into the web that no one wants to listen to. At least, I think that’s what these things mean…

girls chase 2011

What Regular Guys Don't Understand

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By: Chase Amante

Today I found myself reading an article on the Washington Post’s website titled “Date Lab: A Matchmaking Year in Review”. It was all about these blind dates that the newspaper had sent people on throughout the year. I clicked through and read about each of the dates discussed, and paid attention to why the dates that didn’t pan out didn’t. For every single one of them, it came down to the same exact story as what I used to read when things didn’t work out in the monthly Pacific Beach magazine in Pacific Beach, San Diego, where they’d also have a blind date they sent a pair of readers out on each month.

I’ve come to the conclusion, based on my own experiences, that of friends, and of all these blind dates I’ve read about, that dating doesn’t work out the majority of the time because the guy doesn’t measure up. If you read about the blind dates that don’t work out in that Washington Post article, you’ll notice a similar thread through all of them: the guy says When I saw her, I definitely was physically attracted to her, and the girl says When I saw him, I instantly knew he was not my type.

Why is this so consistently the case?

Overcoming Approach Anxiety

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By: Chase Amante

approach anxietyThere’s this thing called approach anxiety, and I haven’t talked about it all that much, because it was never a huge concern for me personally, and it was always something I was able to push through okay on my own. Sure, sometimes I’d stiffen up and miss out on a girl I should’ve had, but all in all it was never too bad for me. I had a lot of fears as a kid, and got into the habit early of overcoming them by confronting them head on; this might be why I was never overly concerned with this one. I just tackled it the same as the rest of them.

But for some guys, approach anxiety is crippling. I’ve coached men who would at times simply refuse to approach women; I eventually got pretty good at getting guys to approach, even when they were terrified to (the first few approaches are always the toughest), but how does a guy who’s shaken about going up to meet women do that on his own, without a coach there to work him through it?

Girl Types: Shy Excited Girls

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By: Chase Amante

Ah, one of my favorites – the Shy Excited Girl. She’s the one who acts demure and conservative, but she’s bursting at the seams with excitement and exuberance underneath (hopefully for you, although quite often just in general about life). I love these kinds of women personally because they have a kind of innocent enthusiasm about life that’s just contagious, and they tend to be very self-improvement oriented, which means that as you continue to grow and change and evolve, they’re the most likely of any woman out there to keep pace.

These girls are different from regular shy, quiet girls, and from wild party girls. They’re not soft on the inside like regular shy, quiet girls are; nor are they operating with reckless abandon on the outside like wild party girls are. Instead, Shy Excited Girls are full of life, energy, and curiosity, but they modulate that on the outside with reserve and practiced calm. They’re the girls who were filled with boyish energy when they were young, but society pushed back against them and they learned to control themselves and appear more “ladylike” on the outside. But in reality, they’re tigresses.

Shy Excited Girls will often seem quiet and reserved, but you can typically tell by their strong eye contact and decisiveness (as well as their tendency to get excited about all manner of things, laugh a lot, and generally be quite free) that they know what they want, and they know what they don’t want, and they’re going to get what they want and have nothing to do with what they don’t want. These women have the most raw, natural confidence of any kind of woman, and refreshingly don’t really care all that much what other people think. They do what they want.

Nonverbal Communication

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By: Chase Amante

nonverbal communicationThe chief tenet of the Law of Least Effort in seduction is that the less effort you put in while still achieving the desired result, the more powerful, attractive, and sexy you appear. One of the most powerful ways of doing this is by learning to communicate without the use of words.

If you’ve ever studied very charismatic people – I have, and I recommend it – something you’ll notice is that they frequently say things with fun, charming, wordless expressions. A smile and a wink, say, or a mischievous look. For instance, maybe someone asks a charismatic man if he can handle a certain situation – he gives them the skeptical look with just a hint of a knowing smile and then gets to it. Or maybe he gives a small smile, makes a thumbs up sign, and goes about his business.

Secrets to Getting Girls: The Last 5%

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By: Chase Amante

last 5%I was sitting in a nightclub tonight, smoke and booze surrounding me, sipping on a Jack and Coke (or what passes for one in this country), and thinking about some past interactions and feeling vaguely annoyed. There was the girl on Saturday whose friend was pushing her to go home with me as hard as she could, but the girl was a little too shy and wanted to push that back. I didn’t push as hard as I could; I still have a decent chance with her – she’s set to come cook dinner for me later this week – but my chances would’ve been better had I pushed a bit harder and taken her home that night. She liked me enough, but rather than close it out when I had it I let it slip through my fingers. Then there was the girl I brought home Friday night but who stayed tense and I didn’t push anything with since I couldn’t get her comfortable. She wants to see me again too, but my chances in the future are far lower than they were that night she was sitting in my apartment.

Girls: Silly and Cute

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By: Chase Amante

Don’t forward this post to any feminists.

There’s a lot of animosity among men in the West toward women these days, and a lot of it, I’m quite sure, ties back to the efforts women have made to change their image. Fifty years ago in America, if you watch old television shows, women are quite often depicted as silly and cute; they did and said the darnedest things, and men would look upon them with expressions that said, without words, “Aw.. ain’t she just so silly and cute?”

Nowadays, a woman being depicted that way on television, and a man looking at a woman that way, would be demonized as outdated and humiliating. “Women need to be taken seriously,” we’re told; “that’s the only way they’ll be treated as equals.”

So most men in the West no longer view women as silly and cute. Instead, they view them as scary, intimidating creatures who will bite their heads off should they dare to view women as anything less than ferocious beasts and equals; “men in skirts”, if you will.