Social calibration is one of the toughest things to learn, because it’s one of those things where if you haven’t yet become aware of a certain aspect of socializing, you may be completely oblivious to mistakes you’re making or people you’re offending or alienating. I want to take a look today at some common mistakes that can get a guy labeled “rude” (or worse) and what he might do about them to correct that.
“Abundance Mentality” is something that’s frequently prescribed as an answer to men’s neediness issues: approach anxiety, having a “weird” or “awkward” vibe, escalation hesitation, failure to invite women home. Anything where a guy comes off as hesitant or is nervous about achieving a certain outcome.
Men who know there are women everywhere, and know they can get women whenever they want, goes the thinking, won’t worry about it.
But in fact, a standard abundance mentality will only get you halfway there.
Physical escalation is a subject that’s a bit under-discussed in the world of seduction. This is probably for a combination of reasons – most of the men who are studying seduction aren’t running into scenarios all that often where they’re escalating physically, and most of the men who are decent enough at it don’t hear enough questions or concerns about this topic to bother sharing some of their secrets.
Every guy new to the social arts works on his eye contact. He practices holding eye contact, maintaining it even in the face of social pressure from others who continue to hold eye contact back. He learns the importance of maintaining eye contact while speaking with and listening to others. He learns not to shift his eyes around from eye to eye while looking at someone else.
Goal setting is one of those things that isn’t a tactic, isn’t a technique, and isn’t a methodology, per se, for getting girls or having relationships. It isn’t a cool new trick a guy can go out and employ and net himself a cute, sexy new companion right away, or a means of making the girls he has right now swoon all the harder.
What goal setting is, rather, is a way of getting yourself results in both the short- and the long-term that you likely wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near as quickly without setting goals.
Ever go for a girl’s number, and have it just feel really awkward and contrived? Any idea why that was?
Imagine you’ve met a girl you liked a lot, and the two of you talked for ten minutes. Things went really well for the first seven or eight minutes, but they started to die down at the end. Finally, she says, “Well, I have to go find my friends.” (often, incidentally, a consequence of not moving fast enough with her)
Back when I was newly focusing on meeting and dating girls as a skill I could develop, I made it a point to let women I was seeing know that I was going out and living a life of fun and parties and adventure travel and general debauchery.
Want a really cool, sneaky way of getting girls to wonder about you and find you more intriguing? You can use something I call a question suggestion.
A question suggestion is, in a nutshell, a way of quite deftly placing a burning question about you into a woman’s mind and making her curious about you, without much more than a subtle drop of a hint of question into your normal conversation with her.
In competitive endeavors, it’s important to maintain a stout defense. Whether discussing military operations, or man-to-man combat, or sports matches, or guarding a company’s secrets against industrial espionage, it is of vital importance to have a strong, effective defense protecting oneself from one’s opponents.
But seduction is not a military operation. Nor are relationships competitive sports matches. And a lot of guys don’t seem to get this.
Every man’s least favorite question to get: “Where do you see this going?” I seem to get this question a lot, personally, and after stumbling through it like a blind man a few times, I think I can recommend you a pretty reasonable approach to addressing it.
First, recognize that you’re likely getting this question because:
