Articles by Varoon Rajah | Girls Chase

Articles by Varoon Rajah

December 11th: The Biggest Breakup Day of the Year

Editor's note: After taking in this informative article, make sure to check out Varoon's Holiday Dating Tips to help you navigate the season's turbulent dating landscape!

biggest breakup day of the year
The December breakup bash is upon us! Will your fling survive the holidays, or will your halls be decked with boughs of broken hearts? And if the latter, what then?

As the seasons change, and a year passes by, mating opportunities also shift in waves. There’s a guy’s skill in getting women (which we teach here on Girls Chase), which is beneficial at any time of the year. Then there are the opportunities created by women around these men that follow shifts in seasons. After all, there must be women looking for things to happen, and men with the ability to make those things happen by taking the opportunity and applying skills so they can get together and have sex.

The possibility of a girl’s relationship with a guy determines female availability. Once she is in a relationship, she’s continually evaluating whether the man is still the same powerful and attractive man he was when she picked him. The cycle of evaluation never stops, and women are always considering whether they’ve got the best deal with a guy, or if someone else out there might be better. There are certain times of the year when girls are more prone to evaluate a man and their relationship with extreme scrutiny.

The highest evaluation period is around mid-November to mid-December.

As a result of this evaluation, December 11th turns out to be the biggest breakup day of the year, and it even exceeds breakups before and after Valentine’s Day. We can see this trend in the media:

And check out this graphic, which shows how breakups transpire through the course of a typical year.

In most links above, statisticians studied Facebook to analyze breakups from relationship status updates. They found that the most common date is for getting dumped is December 11th, roughly two weeks before Christmas. Data from Match.com shows that the peak sign-up period is Christmas Day. In the second half of December, many men and women put themselves back in the marketplace.

As you can see, the two biggest breakup windows through the year are right after Valentine’s Day through the “spring break” period in late March. There’s a higher spike at the end of the year starting at roughly late October, peaking on December 11th.

December 11th is the biggest breakup day of the year, and we’ll look at many reasons why couples are likely to separate then.

For You to Get Her, She Has to Think "I Want This"

make her want you
The goal of seduction is to make a girl think “I want this” with you. With a bit of knowledge and skill, you can choose what ‘this’ is and lead her toward it.

Women and men want to meet at least ONE person in their lives they're attracted to and find chemistry with, if not more. Of course, that extends beyond just one suitor and one lead.

Women are bombarded left, right, and center with requests from men in person, at bars, at their workplace, and increasingly online. Competition is fierce, and it’s common for women to have partner counts now in the double digits.

Despite having a dizzying array of choices, for sex to happen, it’s critical for a woman to get beyond just entertaining the idea of getting with a man and actually make the decision (consciously or subconsciously) to do so.

At the decision point, she's thinking: “I want THIS with this man.”

But “THIS” could mean any number of things, including:

  • A date
  • A one-night stand
  • A friend with benefits
  • A relationship
  • Some social value or a connection that could be meaningful

However, until she consciously chooses what "this" is, a guy can only try to lead her toward what he desires with her. We can’t force any girl to do anything against her will, but we CAN influence her to make choices that align with our goals, as long as she feels that those choices align with her goals. For example, if a guy wants a girl to be a friend with benefits, he does his best to frame himself as the kind of guy she'd want as a friend with benefits. He must show her that being with him in that capacity is something she consciously wants.

The key word here is “consciously.” If a girl wants you unconsciously, but she isn’t sure consciously, then have a look at our recent article series on Female State Control to see how this conflict can sabotage moving forward with a woman. If her unconscious and conscious minds are in sync with her desire, there’s nothing stopping both of you from getting together.

So, to separate yourself as the guy who gets her among the hundreds of guys chasing her without any luck, you must learn to make her feel that sense of “I want this” with you.

Good Game Means Communicating like a Hot Girl, Part 2

sexy masculinity
Good game means adopting certain behaviors that come easy to women. But to attract women, you must balance this by maintaining a dominant, masculine presence.

Welcome to Part 2 of this series about how to adopt certain aspects of female behavior to improve your seduction game.

In Part 1, we discussed the elements of each behavior or quality to help manage a girl’s social frame. Now we’ll discuss how to do this while maintaining your masculine edge, allowing you to connect to a woman’s biological core and spark intense attraction.

We’ll look at how you can text in a masculine manner, behave like the man she wants, and how to talk like an attractive, dominant man.

Holiday Dating Tips to Keep You on Santa's Naughty List

holiday dating tips
Dating during the holidays is troublesome, but there are plenty of ho-ho-horny girls looking for a good stocking stuffer! Here’s how to add them to your naughty list.

Dating in December is unique compared to other months, and this makes it a very interesting time for game, yet also tough. While a guy’s game and a girl’s attraction to sexy guys stay the same, fundamental human dynamics of mating don’t change.

But, given differences in availability, scheduling, and girls out searching for men, December is uniquely challenging. These odd challenges can present many new opportunities with girls quickly, just in time to close the year on a high note.

First, let’s look at the drawbacks of December versus other months, then examine what makes December very opportunistic and fun for the pleasure-seeking man and woman. Finally, we’ll go over what kind of game style makes the most sense in the holiday season, a unique time of the year.

Mistakes that Make Women Screen Men Out as Sex Partners

screened out as sex partner
A woman’s decision to sleep with you is largely based on whether you give her a reason to screen you out. The solution? Stop making mistakes that get you screened out.

Men and women differ significantly in their mating strategies with how each screens the opposite sex. Men are direction oriented and look for women with the sexual qualities that they want in a woman. They have a knack for going after certain looks, features, or personality traits in a woman. Men screen for women who fit the bill.

A woman, on the other hand, operates quite differently and from the opposite angle. She looks for attractive men and evaluates if she should keep moving forward with a guy based on his behavior and presentation. Then she evaluates whether or not she wants that. So she’ll give him a chance until she is forced to screen him out. It’s usually a result of a mistake a guy makes that conflicts with her social frame, sexual desires, failure to interest her, or her biology.

The reason for this is because men primarily seek sex and women primarily seek relationships. Yet women live in a land of sexual abundance where they’ll always have men looking to have sex with them if they’re remotely attractive, but women find it tough to lock men into relationships because they can’t find one who is good enough and down for a relationship! This difference in nature is perplexing to a lot of men. I see this happen all the time. A guy sees progress with a woman and gets super excited about her and how far they’ve come along until she suddenly disappears, and the guy is left clueless wondering what happened.

Because of radically different mating agendas, men screen for women to add to their lives, but an attractive woman lives in sexual abundance and has many different men chasing after her, so she is forced to screen men out. Men’s sexual agenda is to mate with as many of the best girls as possible, whereas a woman’s goal is to find the best one and win him over for herself.

In the mating game, men screen women in, and women screen men out. And when guys make mistakes in the seduction, or they miss good opportunities, she no longer sees him as a contender for the best man, and he loses his shot.

Good Game Means Communicating like a Hot Girl, Part 1

sexy communication
Women respond to emotions better than logic, and when it comes to attraction and sex, logic just gets in the way. The solution: learn to communicate like a hot chick!

As a guy grows on his journey to seduction mastery, he inevitably comes to realize that much of “good game” entails learning to behave and think like a hot girl.

To curtail any confusion about the focus of this article series, I want to make it clear that women are attracted to men because men are men. This will never change. By “behaving like a hot girl,” I’m not saying you should adopt the personality or mannerisms of a hot girl.

The points in this series are separate from the idea that effeminate men have great success with women. Those guys are indeed deadly seducers; many pros are super masculine but have a strong feminine façade. Consider, for example, guys like Prince and Russell Brand, along with many musicians, rappers, and actors. Our very own Alek Rolstad enjoys great success having a somewhat effeminate persona.

So if you’re specifically wondering how to be attractive to women as an effeminate man, here’s the article you’re looking for:

On the other end of the spectrum, you have predominantly masculine characters like James Bond. Sure, these guys are super attractive physically, but what is it about their seductive prowess that puts them over the top?

The answer is similar to that which makes effeminate men so deadly: a deep understanding of hot women and how they communicate.

These guys, whether they are super masculine or effeminate, can communicate on a level most guys are oblivious to. So that’s what we’ll cover in this article series: the communication and social behaviors used by hot girls, and how understanding these behaviors and incorporating them into your masculine presence can raise your seduction prowess to 007 levels.

In Part 1, we’ll look at the elements of each behavior or quality to help manage a girl’s social frame. And in Part 2, we’ll discuss how to do this while maintaining your masculine edge, allowing you to connect to a woman’s biological core and spark intense attraction.

Let’s get started, shall we?

How to Set Aside Time to Learn Game and Master Seduction

get good with women
To accelerate the process of developing your game and skills with women, momentum is key. You get that by dedicating time and staying focused on the right things.

To get good at the seduction game requires time, and a lot of it. The results of your efforts are well worth it in the long run, but the journey can be a struggle for most men. Take my word for it.

Seven years into learning game, and just a few weeks away from being in the triple digits of partners, I still feel like an intermediate when it comes to game and women. There’s so much to learn to become really good. A great way to streamline your journey with women is to set aside the appropriate amount of time to learn and practice game.

Guys sometimes only focus on learning game from a textbook before applying dedicated time to go out. Or they might practice in a piecemeal fashion, sporadically going out and approaching women when it’s super convenient. I’ve used both methods in my journey. I attest that there is a third, far superior means of hustling to learn how to game. The best method is to dedicate specific, regular, and frequent blocks of time to the art.

As with learning or building anything of value, developing skills requires dedication. For women and game, you’ll realize the benefits after dedicating chunks of time to learning and practice. Think of it like going to the gym. While you might feel good (and sore) for a day or two after your first workout, you’ll feel significant results after four days in a row. Then, if you go to the gym four days in a row for eight weeks, you’ll visually see and physically feel the results of your actions.

To Attract Women, Acting like an Older Man Can Only Help You

act older and attract women
Women want men, not boys. Does that mean a young guy should adopt the styles and traits of older men in order to attract girls his own age?

I’ve been discussing pickup and outings with some younger friends and clients as a 30-something talking to guys in their early 20s or just out of college. One comment that always stands out is, “Are you sure that your older-man style is going to work for me getting younger girls?”

When guys are young (early 20s or younger) and just getting into game, it can be tough finding themselves in cities or environments where the population is predominantly older, or extremely variable. For day game cold approach in New York City, you’re just as likely to meet a 28-year-old as a 22-year-old unless you calibrate your venues and approach areas.

So, to quickly address the issue of actually meeting younger women, you can, for example, stick to areas near a college.

But more to the point of this article, virtually all men want women who are either younger or roughly the same age as they are. I meet very few young men who want to give it a shot with an older woman. With girls, however, it’s not really a question of age preference. It's more a question of what she considers "manly."

But many young guys aren’t sure if adopting the behaviors or styles of older men will help them. Hence the question: will this also work for the kinds of girls I want?

The answer is a firm “yes.” Here's why that is, and what you can do.

Daniel Adebayo | Becoming More Consistent in Seduction (Podcast)

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we have the second part of my interview with Daniel Adebayo from earlier this year, easily one of the most consistent night-game and day-game specialist I’ve met and seen in action. He’s easily one of the most innovative and consistent gamers I’ve seen.

Last time while in Montreal, we talked about how to get women in your bed using verbal game, and how Daniel’s unique style of verbal game can give any guy an edge in getting women’s attention in the modern age of overstimulation.

For this podcast, we continue that conversation with a focus on consistency, and specifically how Daniel has achieved consistency in his game style. If a guy wants to improve his game, there should always be a focus on being more consistent. And what’s truly rewarding with this style is how confident it can make a guy in knowing he can meet and sleep with a woman with a predictable amount of effort.

As we spoke about meeting women with him in Canada, Daniel explains how his focus on process, fundamentals, and constant effort has given him – and can give any guy – the ability to easily sleep with many women, at any point in time.

There’s Always One Final Shit Test Before Sex

shit test before sex
Women test men to ensure they aren’t with a loser or impostor. The final shit test before sex can be a real doozy, so make sure you’re not caught off guard.

I approached her on the street in the rain. She was a sexy young Asian girl who walked past quickly. I turned and caught up to her and opened. She smiled but said she was in a rush. I quickly asked if she was single; we had a quick one minute exchange, and I grabbed her number.

We texted in a flirty way, and she was pretty invested in the texting. I set up a date for the following week on a Tuesday (one of my standard dates). We went to an art gallery then walked over to have drinks. However, the vibe on this date felt different from most others. It was fast, and she was touching me often. At times, I got the sense that she was getting impatient when she started looking at her watch repeatedly. At this point, I hadn’t even gone through my sex talk stack yet; once I began to bring it up, she told me that most of her friends were gay men and she was super nonjudgmental.

Well, okay, neat.

She looked at her watch a third time and was quiet.

We had only met for an hour and change, but I figured what the hell; let’s try pulling anyway, and I went for it.

I just invited her home. “So I think I want to show you my art, and I have this really awesome beer you’ll love that I brought from Canada. We can sit on my rooftop and have drinks. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you inviting me over to have sex with you?” She replied.

With a deadpan face, I said, “Yes.” And smiled.

Without stopping, she said “Okay” and started getting up to leave.

The moment we walked into my apartment building, I kissed her. It was on before we even got into my place.

I passed her shit test, and we screwed all night.