Articles by Author | Girls Chase

Articles by Chase Amante

You Don't Get Girlfriends by "Giving Them Stuff"

giving girls stuffCan you convince a girl to be your girlfriend by giving her stuff?

It's obviously not a strategy we recommend on this site. But LOTS of guys try to pull it off. So let's have a look.

A guy on Reddit talks about a girl who “let's just be friends”'d him six months ago, writing:

Earlier this week, I bought tickets for a musical next year that we both really want to see and she was over the moon. I really wanted to go with her but I thought maybe it could also be a good opportunity to ask her out again, seeing as it had been 6 months. She asked me how much tickets were and I told her, "Well, I was thinking maybe this could be a date. And in that case, no charge at all."

My friend told me she was sorry but still didn't have feelings, valued the friendship, etc. I told her it was fine and that I just thought I'd check in again and we moved on as usual. It hurt, but I was fine to just stay friends and hoped the feelings would eventually subside.

The next day, we started talking about the musical again. I mentioned the price of the tickets and she said something like, "Oh, I thought it was a gift?" I told her it would have been free if we were going as a date, but as friends, I'd want her to pay for hers. She got quite annoyed at me and accused me of trying to pay her back for not returning feelings. She told me she really didn't want to hurt me (and to her credit, her rejection was done as considerately as it can be) but this was really making her feel like I was trying to punish her for not reciprocating interest.

I tried to explain that I didn't mean it to come across like that, but these tickets were relatively expensive too and I just wasn't willing to spend that much on a friend. My friend told me she wasn't upset about having to pay for the ticket and she was always happy to do that, but she felt like this was me trying to get some petty revenge or even manipulation, that I didn't value her as a friend but just as someone I could maybe have a relationship with.

We see here the stereotypical nice guy / nice girl manipulation dynamic:

  • Nice guy pretends to be fine with being friends, only to keep trying sneaky tactics at moments he has leverage to try to get dates

  • Nice girl pretends to be surprised something nice guy offered her for free in exchange for a date is not still for free once she's turned down the date (and manages to get both tickets for free in the end -- see below)

In an update, the nice guy bends, giving the girl both tickets for free to invite whomever she wants. Meanwhile, the nice girl accepts the free tickets (of course... the actually gracious thing would be to say "No thanks, you keep them, take some girl you like instead" -- but this girl's not gracious), though says she will probably take the nice guy along. He's providing her free stuff and lots of fawning attention, without her having to give him anything in return... she is going to keep that going so long as it's still worthwhile to her.

While the whole thing is pretty cringeworthy, we must ask: does this technique ever sometimes work?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Use Guilt Trips (Playfully)

how to use guilt trips
You can guilt trip women in fun, light ways (without putting a lot of pressure on them or being manipulative) to keep your courtships moving forward. The secret is the 'fun' part…

Don't worry, we're not going to talk about the Scumbag Steve, Dark Side version of this.

This article's about something Light. It's the playful version of guilt tripping.

Guilt trips are a persuasion tool you can use to get a woman out of her head and thinking about things from your perspective. They add another piece of the puzzle to an equation where a woman may only have been thinking about her own immediate wants.

You can use this kind of fun 'guilt trip' to accomplish various useful items:

  • Get a woman to stick around longer with you in-person
  • Get her to rethink her decision to cancel plans / flake
  • Get her to comply with a request or agree to a venue change

And more. We'll talk about how below.

Do it in a playful way, and you have a nice little pattern interrupt that shakes a woman out of the pattern she was in, and often loosens up the vibe a good bit to boot.

Don't Date Women on Pills or with Issues

don't date girls on pills
25% of modern women are on pills of some sort. If you have any choice at all with women, though, you should not be dating these girls on pills.

In the 2019 psychological horror movie Midsommar, a girl with psychological problems accompanies her boyfriend and his pals to a weird cult festival in Sweden. The movie itself is bizarre. And it's pure fiction (and rather extremely so. The director dreamed up a death cult more depraved than the ancient Aztecs or Assyrians... and placed it in modern hippie Sweden).

However, there is one moral present in the movie I think is worth a highlight: don't date women on pills. Or women with severe psychological issues, for that matter.

In the same year that movie premiered, 2019, 23.70% of Americans was on a psychiatric drug. That includes things like:

  • Antidepressants (13.40% of the population)
  • Antipsychotics (3.53% of the population)
  • Mood stabilizers (7.40% of the population)

... and a host of other assorted brain-altering cocktails.

These pills have all kinds of effects on the brains of those who use them.

The numbers are slightly higher for older adults. But not much. 18-44 year olds make up 36.5% of the American population, and 33.8% of the American pill-using population.

The sex differences are stark. Women are 67% more likely to use psychiatric drugs than men are. If you go out enough, and meet enough women, you are going to meet a lot of women on pills.

What should you do with these women?

Should you treat them as normal?

Or should you treat them the same way their psychologist does -- as people who have something wrong with them -- and stay away?

Slash Your "On-Date" Learning Curve in HALF... with Girls Chase 'Practice Date' Coaching

lockdown coaching
Rapidly improve your conversation, vibe management, and flirtation with our newest coaching offer. Meet with your coach… then meet with your DATE… and compare notes after.

There's a new kind of coaching in town, and it's set to get you bowling your dates over right in their chairs in the coffee shop or restaurant.

First off though:

  • Have you ever taken a girl out, only to have things start well... yet go south... and as you walked away at the end of the date, certain you'd never see that girl again, you had no idea why?

  • Do you ever run out of things to say to dates (and end up with that super awkward feeling that you're watching your shot with this girl die in real time)?

  • Or do you sometimes mishandle the vibe (and suddenly a date that felt fine two minutes ago feels completely weird or off kilter)?

  • Have you ever been on a date where no matter what you tried, you just couldn't get you and the girl to 'click'? You talked, and she talked, and she offered plenty of polite laughter to your jokes... yet both of you knew you were just killing time out of politeness, rather than any kind of legitimate shared connection.

These things are maddening when they happen. And for some guys, they happen a lot.

Even if they only happen to you sometimes, you still want them to not occur.

The good news is, if you go on enough dates, you will figure it out eventually... probably...

However, the even better news is rather than take 6 months or a year to fix those problems, you can put that process on rocket boosters instead.

The way you do that is with coaching and practice, tied together, working together, to let you zero in on exactly what you need to do differently -- then get you doing it.

To give you exactly this, I've assembled an A-team of Girls Chase coaches... PLUS a bevy of lovely, fetching 20-something gals I've handpicked to serve as your 'practice dates' to let you get this stuff DOWN.

The chats are real. The feedback is real. The coaching is deep.

And the dating learning curve you're on, once you're on this program, gets SLASHED in half (or even less).

Considerate Ultimatums for Romantic Relationships

considerate ultimatums
At times you'll hit an impasse with a long-term partner. You could breakup. You could submit to her desires. Or… you could give her an ultimatum, in a considerate way.

In relationship advice world, there is little more poorly regarded than the ultimatum.

Ultimatums are alternately floated as tools of heartless controllers, and of desperate weaklings clutching at straws. They are both tools of the too-strong and of the too-weak.

No healthy relationship could ever include such things, the experts say.

What the experts really mean is no equal relationship could contain such things.

What they rarely ever tell you is no relationship is ever 'equal'. There is always a party in the lead role -- it might be you, or it might be your gal.

The ultimatum, frankly, gets a bad rap.

While I agree you should compromise on what you reasonably can, there are indeed deal breaker issues you will encounter in every relationship.

And regardless what the experts say about compromise, sometimes compromise can't cut it. There simply is no compromise on some issues -- either things go how you want them to or they go how she does.

Perhaps you ought to just split up when that happens. Many couples do -- it's why the breakup rate and divorce rate are so sky high. Those who divorce their first spouses have an even higher chance of divorcing their second; and those who divorce their second a still higher chance of divorcing their third.

Perhaps there's another way to deal with deal breaker situations.

One in which you present an ultimatum, that is not a heartless ultimatum, but instead one where you get what you want, while trying your best to help her also get as close as possible to what she does too -- which often isn't always what she insists upon at first.

Tactics Tuesdays: Interest Bait

interest bait
When she's just about to reject you… or she isn't, but the conversation's grown stale… or you just need a boost… break out the 'interest bait', and suck her back in.

Wanna know something you're sure to find useful with girls?

By asking an intriguing question, or making an intriguing yet unfinished statement, you can draw someone in.

You can use this 'interest bait' to prop up slumping conversations. It's also great as a boost to otherwise okay interactions that could benefit from stronger energy.

Questions and statements like these serve as a powerful tactic for transitions from one conversation topic to another, too.

Such a tactic can even let you stop in her tracks a woman who's about to walk away (as I discussed in a few examples in my article last week on women who are closed off or impossible).

This is a simple tactic to use.

It also isn't anything new. I've used plenty of such questions and statements in my examples in articles throughout the years, as have the other authors here. Alek Rolstad makes good use of interest bait in his excellent 9-part series on hooking girls in, which any serious student of seduction owes a read.

Additionally, simply by using interest bait you set yourself up as a sort of authority (which is in itself attractive).

That's because, usually, the only people who talk this way are people in authority positions. So long as it comes across congruent, interest bait is powerful to use.

Yet few men use it. You ought to be among them.

Pickup vs. Seduction: Is There a Difference? (Yes!)

pickup vs. seduction
Pickup: the art of finding a girl to take home. Seduction: the art of influencing her mind, to create desire and other urges. How do the two relate… and which is better?

On Tuesday I talked about succeeding with closed or 'impossible' girls... inspired by a tussle over the subject we had on the Boards.

There's another nuance I want to discuss before we wrap this subject up though. That is the distinction between pickup and seduction.

While related -- and while the two terms are often used interchangeably (including by me) -- they are in fact different.

Knowing what the difference between the two terms is will aid your thinking about both... as well as your ability to use each area in the most effective way.

How to Get Girls Who Seem Closed Off or Impossible

impossible girls
Some girls are closed off when you approach them. Some reject you – HARD! Some might even seem impossible to get. Is there a way to get these girls… or is there not?

Over on the discussion boards, we have of late had a dustup where a collection of several of our experienced members along with some other members led a small 'insurrection' against the most senior, experienced of us on there.

The gist of the insurrection was guys claiming, in effect, "You cannot get certain girls, now you old hands just admit it!"

This thinking seemed to stem from a few things, including (perhaps) my frequent suggestions to readers that most of the time, they should focus on screening for the women most receptive to them and their game.

This screening for receptive women is just an efficient, practical step. It is one every experienced guy employs.

Yet, just because you will usually do this, does not mean you treat non-receptive women as impossibly closed off.

Over the years, in addition to my "screen for girls who are receptive to you" posts, I have also authored many other pieces about getting girls who seem disinterested, or like hard cases, lost causes, or otherwise impossible to get.

The key is to be able to hold both concepts in the mind at once: most of the time, it is simply more efficient to focus on the women most receptive to you. Yet, also available to you are those women who are not at first into you, but whom you are nevertheless able to seduce.

Note before we begin: this article is a guide for advanced players, and should not be used by beginners (or probably intermediates either). HOWEVER... I strongly suggest beginners and intermediates read it, so that it is clear that even while we are suggesting you usually move on from disinterested girls, these girls are not actually totally out of reach, and there will come a time, if you continue down the road to seduction mastery, where these girls enter into your circle.

11 Things Women Want in a Man (Their Insults Tell You)

things women want in a man
Women can tell you what things they want in a man… if you listen to their choice of insults. Things they might never admit consciously come spilling out.

Well, there you are online, minding your own business commenting on something, when what appears but a wild Angry Female Commentator!

And boy is she miffed!

She pulls out a few select stingers from her bag of Mean Things To Say, and ouch, they hurt!

You retreat to lick your wounds, smarting from a quick blast of pointed verbal abuse from some woman you don't know, who disagreed with what you had to say.

It's a not-uncommon scenario guys run into on the Internet. Sometimes in real life, too.

Even if you're more 'lurker' than 'participant', you've no doubt seen scads of men shredded by Angry Female Commentators in various comment sections of various websites... or at various parties or other social events.

'Small penis', 'lives at home', 'just a misogynist', and various other slanderous/libelous statements are such aggravated women's stock-in-trade.

However, if you look behind the words, there's an interesting psychological curiosity people communicate when they launch their insults.

That is this: we only insult people on measures we personally care about.

Put another way, by looking at women's insults, we can get a view to what things women want in a man... and also what they don't.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with "Give Me X!"

give me that
Whether she's got an attitude or she's just not good with people, sometimes a girl make demands. How you handle her demands sets your courtship's tone.

If you go out enough, from time to time you'll face girls with attitude.

You'll also face girls who are socially uncalibrated, and girls with low EQs (emotional quotients).

Any of these girls, whether to show attitude or because she just isn't calibrated enough to know otherwise, will sometimes make demands of you.

Demands like "Give me a napkin" in a voice tone that's demanding and not sweet, and in an impolite way without a 'please' attached.

It's a small thing, but how you respond to these impolite impositions can set the tone for later parts of your courtship.

You must respond in a useful way.