Articles by Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Force Frame Someone

force frame
You use force frames to make women (or other people) see things the way you see things. Each force frame consists of two parts: the pitch and the ditch.

Frame control is a crucial aspect of achieving your ends with other people.

He who controls the frame, controls how those within that frame perceive events.

Civilizations strive endlessly to control the frame through which the citizenry view the world. Every civilization exerts massive amounts of energy to ensure its population sees things the way it wants it to see things, and to label the way competitor civilizations see things as 'misguided', 'wrong', or even 'evil'. Every time you think another country does things the wrong way, and yours does them right, you think within the frame of your society.

Yet frame control extends to a far more granular level than that of civilizations.

Any time you interact with a group of people, frame control is at play.

Any time you interact with a single other person, frame control is at play.

When you talk to a girl, frame control is at play. Either you'll control the frame, or she will.

When women test, this is in part to see if you'll yield the frame. Women are not attracted to men who yield to their frames, but they will test (over and over) to see if you will. They must discover if you are a man strong of frame or weak of it.

There's a form of frame control you can use called 'force framing'.

Force frames are for when you want to frame something that isn't necessarily true, or the other party may not readily accept. However, you still want to impose the frame regardless.

The force frame is how you impose that frame despite the other party's 'opposition'.

When Your Girlfriend Asks for an Open Relationship (and You Don't Want That)

girlfriend wants open relationship
hat do you do if a lover, girlfriend, or wife asks you for an open relationship… and you don't want one? How do you say no yet not look weak or cause reactance?

We've had a good deal of articles on Girls Chase that discuss entry into an open relationship. Either getting into one with an existing girlfriend, or how to find one open to it.

Today's article is on the other side of things. What do you do when your girl asks you to 'open up' the relationship... so she can have sex with other guys?

This can be tricky to deal with. Because when she hits you with it, you may not know:

  • Does she mean it? Or is it a test?
  • How do I say 'no' without looking jealous or weak?
  • If I say 'no', will she do it anyway behind my back?

Much rides on your response. Get it wrong, and you may hurt her respect for you, or encourage her to sneak around behind you.

As you'll see in this article though, you can absolutely turn these requests down, and come out looking stronger for it. How it goes is all in how you frame things.

If you're instead looking for advice on how to get into an open relationship, check out this series on building non-monogamous relationships, or this article on what to look for in prospective polyamorous partners.

However, if what you'd like is to knock down any talk of your girl taking penis from other men, then read on, and let's handle that issue.

The Girls Chase Guide to Getting & Staying Slim

getting slim
If you want to slim down for good, lose the fad diet. Don't even exercise (not for this anyway). Instead, do this: cut your portions, and cut bad foods.

We were talking over on the forum about how people in general have gotten a lot fatter. In fact it is to the point that people often do not notice it. And you are not generally allowed to talk about it in polite company.

Some years ago, we had a great article on men's weight loss here from Eric Reeves. The tips in this article are different from the tips in that one. So for good measure I suggest you read that one too; then just pick the strategy that appeals to you most.

When I went to university, I put on a lot of weight. I was reed-thin when I started school at 19. I was so skinny then one of the grizzled old roughnecks in the auto shop I worked at used to mock my walk, hounding me about "Why do you walk like that, man? Like you're some big guy?" I was just thin.

I began to lift weights hard in college to bulk up. I consumed a lot of protein powder (which I don't recommend anymore), but otherwise ate almost straight junk food. Pizza, French fries, potato chips, cookies, soda, and a couple bottles of cheap Nikolai vodka every month rounded out my diet. I was at McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's almost every day of the week.

I did put on a bunch of muscle, but I also added a big, sloppy gut, and got fat in the face. As this happened to me, I did not really realize it, and nobody told me. It wasn't until I started to spend time around friends and girlfriends from the third world, mostly after I graduated college, that I found out I was overweight. They told me right to my face: they told me I was fat and pointed out my big gut ("Look at that belly!"). I'd spent much more time around Americans but none of them had ever said a thing to me about it.

It still took me almost a year once I realized I was fat to actually start to lose weight. I'd tried to before I succeeded, but none of the stuff I tried before I succeeded worked.

This post will give you everything you need to slim down to healthy weight and stay that way.

It gives you the stuff that I found that works (simple stuff), and leaves out all the complicated stuff people try and fail and multi-billion dollar industries exist to serve.

Mandatory disclaimer: I am not a doctor and this is not professional medical advice. Before you do anything that affects your health you should go and talk to your doctor first. Just be sensible.

Girls Who Chase Aggressively vs. Girls Who Do Not

girls chase
Girls chase men differently. Some chase in aggressive ways: they'll ask you out and touch you lots. Yet others are far more demure in how they chase.

On the spectrum of "how hard do girls chase?" we have a few distinct female profiles.

There are:

  1. Girls who are chasers
  2. Girls who are forward
  3. Girls who are dabblers
  4. Girls who are demure

Each of these types is a different type of woman. She expresses interest in and pursues men differently. Her behavior is often not so much determined by her interest level in you (though that's important) as it is her 'chase profile'.

A chaser who is very into you will chase hard in obvious ways. However, a demure girl who is very into you will only give you subtle indications of her pursuit, despite those pangs for you deep in her heart (and loins).

If you're only looking for chaser girls, you will miss out on most of the women who are into you, because most girls aren't chasers. Most will not chase in blatant, aggressive ways -- even if they're into you to the extreme.

Instead, you must recognize chase behavior from each of the four different types of girls.

Then, when you see it, pounce on it.

4 Easy, Proven Ways to Start Talking to Women (or People)

start talking to women
Sometimes when you go out to meet girls, you're lazy. Or you're rusty. Or it's hard to get going. Use these 4 tactics to start talking to women with ease.

We've written a lot on here about approach anxiety in the past.

Approach anxiety of course is the trepidation you feel before you approach someone new.

See a pretty girl you'd like to talk to? You freeze up and feel fear before you can.

At a networking conference and need to make business contacts? Freeze up in fear.

Anxiety before an approach is a common human feeling. It is not only something that happens with approaching women. You'll feel it any time you need to make an approach where you care about the outcome. If you have to approach your boss to ask for a raise... or your teacher to ask for a chance to make up that test you failed... or a roommate you suspect has stolen something from you but you aren't sure.

If you care about the outcome, and need to approach and engage someone else, there will usually be some anxiety there. Because you'll worry "What if I approach, and this person won't give me what I want?"

The anxiety is there to force you to take a moment to consider how, exactly, to get the outcome you want.

Yet with women, especially in cold approach scenarios (where you're walking up to someone you do not know), you'll often only have a handful of seconds to make the approach. Fail to make it on time, and the girl is gone.

This article gives you four quick, simple little tactics you can use to get yourself to approach.

Note that these tactics are geared more toward intermediate and advanced playboys who are able to approach, and just need an extra push to get off the sidelines. If you struggle with heavy approach anxiety, skip to the section at the end (where I link up some material on dealing with that).

Assuming you're able to approach, however, and just need to up your consistency, then pick one (or more) of these, use it, and you'll kick off a bunch more conversations with women (or other people, if your approaching is for purposes other than dating).

A Man's Legitimacy

man's legitimacy
A man’s legitimacy in the eyes of others determines what he can and cannot do. And as legitimacy falls, it influences how that man reacts.

A few weeks ago, I posted about the concept of increasing complexity in the mating market. In it I talked about some ideas inspired by Joseph Tainter's Collapse.

Today I want to talk about one more idea the book inspired. That's legitimacy.

In Collapse, Tainter discusses a society's need to maintain its legitimacy. That the more a society struggles to prove its legitimacy to the people who live within that society, the more it has to direct resources into displays to uphold its legitimacy (like monumental architecture, or war with neighbors to inspire patriotism) or into efforts to coerce its population to go along with things and to stifle dissent.

In fact, not long before a society enters a collapse, its construction of monumental architecture often reaches its peak. Despite the fact that there are fewer and fewer resources available as societies slump toward collapse, the society throws more and more of its shrinking resources into larger and larger buildings and monuments. Likewise, as societies proceed toward collapse, coercion increases, social trust erodes, and everyone ends up looking over his shoulder for those who might imply he's guilty of doing/thinking the forbidden.

All this is fascinating when you apply it to civilizations.

But as I read Tainter, it occurred to me his work applies to men as well.

Because just like a civilization, a man must also labor to establish legitimacy.

And just like a civilization, as a man's legitimacy crumbles, he struggles, often futilely, to uphold it with increasingly grand, or increasingly draconian, ways.

3 Ways to Turn 'Good Girls' Into Freaks

good girl into freakSometimes you can find and bed girls who are freaks.

To a certain degree this depends on the type of game you use. Some approaches (like Pablo's in the article I just linked) filter for these types of girls better than others.

Even if you don't directly screen for freaks (i.e., girls who like lots of sex, and kinky sex), you'll still bed some from time to time... depending on how and where you meet women.

However if you're like most guys, the majority of girls you bed will not be freaks.

Most will be normal girls with normal sexual appetites.

That's all well and good.

So what do you do when you start to see a girl regularly... and you want her lusty for you?

Well, you turn her into a freak.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen

girl out to be seenThere's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

  • Nightclubs have them
  • Lounges have them
  • Bars have them
  • Parties have them
  • Wine tastings have them
  • Art gallery events have them
  • Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.

As Mating Complexity Increases, Do Reproductive Returns Diminish?

mating complexity
Mating gets more complex as our societies become more complex. But as complexity rises, does the law of diminishing (reproductive) returns set in? (image source: Darwin Leo)

Bit of an abstract/sociological article here.

A little more academic than usual, too.

If you'd prefer tactics on dealing with an increasingly complex mating market, see my Game Imbalance Theory series. Otherwise, if you're down for a little academic sociology, let's proceed...

I'm reading through John Tainter's brilliant The Collapse of Complex Societies. Tainter's premise is civilization (or society, as he prefers to call it) is a problem-solving entity. As a society encounters new problems (like a food shortage or a militaristic neighbor) it adds new layers to itself, to address the problem (more intensive farming, or the training of a better military). These new layers make the society more complex.

As the society becomes more complex (to deal with more problems), it requires more resources. For a while it gets these through conquest or opening up new resource channels. Later it must get them by raising taxes on the population and by controlling more and more of its populace's lives. The further along this process it goes, the greater the demands on the society's support population become, and the smaller the returns on its increasing complexity get. It must demand more and more, to support greater and greater complexity, for less and less return.

As I've read Tainter, it's gotten me thinking about romantic relationships. There are some fascinating trends in dating, mating, and reproduction... trends like:

Anecdotally, the Battle of the Sexes seems to have reached fevered pitch, with many jilted women asking "where all the good men have gone" and many jilted men complaining they didn't go anywhere but were overlooked while these women were too busy "riding the cock carousel" (and now no longer want these "post-wall" women). This is something it's harder to quantify, but I've gone through a fair few newspaper advice columns from the 1880s through the 1950s and don't recall coming across anything close to this level of back-and-forthing between the sexes.

Divorce rates have skyrocketed, even as the availability of sex partners seemingly has too (I can't find much data on historical lifetime sex partners, unfortunately, but I find it hard to believe the average number of lifetime sex partners was "seven" in the 18th and 19th Centuries, as it is now -- though here's an interesting article on changing views on sexuality across the times).

As I looked at all this, I had to wonder: is the ever-increasing complexity of modern dating to blame for dating's shabbier and shabbier results overall for men and women alike?

Tactics Tuesdays: Fresh Stories to Tell to Girls

storytelling seductionYou should always have a few fresh, recent stories to tell about your life.

These don't have to be particularly amazing stories. But they should be a little interesting, they should be recent, and they should display some interesting trait about you.

For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

"I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

"Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.