Articles by Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase

Articles by Alek Rolstad

Why Frame Control Is the Most Important Tool in Seduction

frame control most important seduction tool
Frame control makes the difference between becoming her lover or getting stuck in her friend zone. If you want sex with the women you meet, this information is vital.

Hey, guys. Today I want to discuss how frame control can impact the entirety of your interactions with women, especially in terms of seduction and sleeping with the women you meet – rather than becoming just friends.

I will get a bit deeper into what effects frames have on how you interact and why it is key to set the right frames early. Failing to do so can make it very difficult to reach your goals with a girl, no matter what they are.

Many guys see seduction and pickup as a linear process – i.e., a set of techniques or steps that follow each other. To some extent, this is true – if you look at pickup from a micro perspective. But you cannot leave out the big picture – how each step of the process affects the others; or more importantly, how previous steps affect future steps.

This is so critical. It is exactly what most guys tend to forget about. Everything builds on previous steps. This post aims to explain how these mechanisms work so that you can gain a better understanding of your game and perhaps, in turn, better it.

To give you some examples of what I am talking about, consider the following:

  • Guy cannot get out of the friend zone – despite his efforts in applying the latest and most powerful pickup tech, he is still stuck there.

  • Guy meets girl, she laughs, touches him, but he totally fails to escalate – she is just not a sexual girl (so you think). Similarly: Guy has a perfect date – now faces last-minute resistance from hell.

  • Guy displays high social value, but all he gets is “take my Instagram” when interacting with girls.

All these issues can be caused by a failure in setting the right frames – or at least, avoiding setting the wrong ones in the first place. The frame you set when you meet will dictate the interaction and will only be amplified with time throughout the interaction(s). The more the frame is set (good or bad), the harder it is to get out of it.

In the case of the friend zone, the guy is stuck because he has been perceived as a friend because of his previous actions, but more importantly, because of the frames he has set through his presence, actions, and so on. And as times goes on, the frame becomes stronger and harder to get out of.

Many of you are familiar with what a frame is and how it comes into play, but for those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept, I highly advise that you check out the following posts after reading this one.

How to Be Bold with Women in a Sexy, Calibrated Way

how to be bold in seduction
Boldness wins games. When it comes to picking up women, this is especially true. But you need to calibrate your boldness to the girl. Here’s how.

Last week’s article focused primarily on clubbing and how you should maximize your results despite dealing with the roughest and toughest time of the year – namely, when it's super cold. In that article we discussed everything from:

  • Venue selection
  • State control
  • Overall pick up strategy

When we discussed overall pickup strategy, we mentioned how being bold is a good call in the winter, and I’d like to expand on boldness in this article.

What “being bold” means is hard to discern, but some pointers:

Boldness is key to amplifying her response and stimulating her emotionally. This is much needed in the winter, as women are “understimulated” by default.

However, boldness can be useful even outside of winter. There are implications regarding boldness, so we will consider those. We will also discuss how to calibrate your boldness.

Keep in mind – and this is key – this post is not advocating you to be bold per se, but perhaps bolder in your approach – which often many guys need to be to up their results.

Everything you need to know about boldness and boldening up your game will be covered here!

Do Harsh Winters Make Picking Up Women More Difficult?

Picking Up Women in Harsh Winters
When the weather gets super cold, so do women. Mood and sex drive are down or nonexistent. So, what’s a horny Norseman gotta do to get laid in harsh winters?

Today’s topic will be more relevant for those of you who live in cold areas, where the winters are harsh. I’ve found this info to be very useful for me in Scandinavia, but I have heard that even in warmer areas, what I am about to say is still valid.

This article is about how to meet girls and seduce them during winter time. Winters are undeniably harder to deal with than summer or spring when it comes to meeting women (I happen to love autumn). In a post from last year, I wrote about why winter time is the toughest season to deal with. Some of the reasons:

  • The colder weather and darkness make women less aroused – i.e., cold and darkness have a negative impact on the human sex drive. Women are driven by emotions (men too, but women more so), so they’ll be even more affected by the weather changes.

  • The weather and darkness have a negative impact on general moods – more tired, less social and moodier.

  • Not only will women be affected by all that, so will you! You too will feel moodier, more tired, less social. Your sex drive will also be lower – you probably have noticed this.

All this makes it harder for men to meet girls in the winter. The nightlife venues are deader in the winter – people don’t go out, which affects the dynamic of the venue, and not in a good way.

Because of all this, you could try more day game, but in the cold, it is not usually a good call.

The online game remains more stable although you will find fewer horny girls online. Additionally, for anyone who is not a superb looking guy, the online game is crap. The quality of women you will meet in real life will always be superior, especially if you have game.

For all the reasons above, I still prefer sticking to night game, even in the winter, despite it being harder.

So here is a guide on how to maximize your success with night game during the winter season.

How to Attract Women Whether You’re Good Looking or Not

Attract Women Whether You’re Good Looking or Not
Looks are important, but even stunners can be unattractive at times. Here are the variables that, if properly addressed, can make practically anyone attractive to women.

Hey, guys.

Last week I shared a post about how “attractive guys” can pick up girls by maximizing the positive effects of their strengths while minimizing the negative effects of their weaknesses.

Today’s post is a follow-up for those guys who may not be considered attractive. However, you are not that worse off. The way you look is not the only factor that determines attractiveness and unattractiveness.

Many factors that define a man’s attractiveness are not static. This means that a good-looking, hot guy, or a high-value guy may at some point be very attractive, only to fade into a huge loser depending on the circumstances (we will get into that). This post is also for guys who are good-looking and perhaps have high social value – because any guy can go from being super hot to unattractive. I will get into why that is, but the quick answer is that hot guys also have down times when their mojo is low.

Because these variables are fluid, there is room for all guys to become more attractive. Let’s discuss these variables first.

How to Avoid the Dating Pitfalls of Being a Good-Looking Guy

Avoid the Pitfalls of Being Good Looking
Good-looking men face particular challenges in pickup. How do you compensate when a woman acts weird around you or thinks you’re too cocky or out of her league?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

So, my two previous articles have been focused on debunking the idea that looks are the primary factor in success with women.

I have presented many different arguments for why looks are not that important. I’ve also given examples on how good looks can backfire, referring to the pitfalls and difficulties good-looking guys face.

And I think this was a good subject to cover. It is helpful for not-so-good-looking guys to understand the effects of looks and the place they have in pickup and seduction – and that looks are NOT everything.

The pitfalls good-looking men face is something VERY rarely discussed, and I believe it was a beneficial discussion. Admittedly, however, I have realized that in my last post where I covered the pitfalls and the difficulties good-looking men face, there was more of a pessimistic tone. As a matter of fact, it was far less than optimistic, and at the cost of convincing less-good-looking guys that being is was not always a good thing, I have probably left the good-looking guys feeling bad. The previous posts may in fact have generated negative beliefs about good-looking guys.

The truth is, being good looking has its benefits, but also its pitfalls. And like everything else in pickup, it is all a matter of calibration. If you are good looking, or even more importantly, good looking to her, you must calibrate accordingly.

So, to enjoy these benefits, you will have to know how to play properly, and this is what this post is about. Now, pickup in general is the same for everyone, and you mostly will have to calibrate according to the girl. However, this post can help you adjust your game to who you are.

Does Having Good Looks Come with Disadvantages?

Good Looks Come with Disadvantages
To combat the myth that “looks are all that matter” for getting laid, we examine several disadvantages of good looks you’ve likely never considered.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

If last week’s post where we discussed the importance of looks in pickup did not convince you that looks actually are far from being one of the most important aspects in meeting women, then this post is for you.

So let’s quickly recap. Last week we discussed how good looks can:

  • Help you give a good first impression and get the ball rolling for you. This is key because you need to start somewhere, but a start is just a start. Much more than some basic early game flirting is required to get the girl.

  • Good looks allow a woman to accept and rationalize her attraction to you – however, there are other key factors that can help you achieve this.

  • Good looks are far from being a game winner, but really bad looks is a game killer.

  • In regards to the point above, better looks can be achieved. Most guys can reach the minimum threshold. Today we will discuss some other aspects of looks that you may not have considered.

To me, good looks is just another parameter one must adjust to. Same goes for average looks and bad looks. Personally, I have had times where I did not care about my looks, and even got fat. However, I presently spend lot more time getting in shape, dressing well, and taking good care of my hair and trimming my facial hair.

No matter what phase I was going through, I had an equal amount of lays. However, keep in mind that when I was less good looking, I had to “work” harder to convince girls to give me a shot, and the hooking phase was harder. But once in, getting the girl was not that much more difficult.

But wait! That’s not to say that good looks do not make it easier for you. In fact, I definitely got more hooks when I wasn’t fat… so appearance and looks are important.

Do You Need Good Looks to Get Laid?

Do You Need Good Looks to Get Laid?
Do looks matter when attracting women? Sure, they help, but there are other, much more important factors when it comes to getting laid.

Hey, guys. Today, I would like to bang an old drum – discussing the matter of looks and how it plays into seduction. This is a subject we have discussed to death, but I would like to offer another perspective, or at least broach the subject from a different point of view.

There have been multiple views regarding looks. For example, I’m not tall, and I happen to live in northern Europe, where most guys are very tall. That makes me small compared to most guys. But here’s a funny thing about height – it was never a problem for me to be shorter than most of my fellow countrymen.

When I started learning pickup, I never had to read all the ranting about height and meeting women. I started at 15, so my brain was less polluted by limiting beliefs than most guys. I went out meeting girls and never once has my height been an issue.

I never really thought about it until I started seeing the subject discussed over and over again on forums. Luckily, by this point, my experience had proved to me that it’s not an issue that affects my success. Would it be nice to be taller? Sure. Would it have a positive impact on me? Maybe.

But nobody is perfect, and I won't get taller, but I am now closing in on 27. I still have all my hair, and my hair is very beautiful. I do take good care of it, though. I also have a cute baby face, compensated for by masculine facial hair. According to many women, my eyes are dark and intriguing, yet I never heard a single girl telling me this before I entered the world of seduction.

I am also far from being ripped muscle-wise. Before 2016, I was a bit overweight. People who know me well call it the “fatty” period of my pickup career. I’m still not ripped, and never has that been an issue for me. I have the same success today that I did back when I was a little bigger.

Now, there are many aspects of looks, so let’s start by debunking a common saying we see a lot in the pickup community.

How to Use Tables at Clubs to Get Laid

how to get laid with tables and bottles at clubs
While getting tables and bottles at clubs isn’t the best way to get laid, it can work if done right. Just follow my checklist to make the best of this strategy.

Last week, I talked about bottles and tables in clubs and how I personally do not like to pay for them, as I find the whole ordeal to be generally unnecessary and ineffective. But in this post, I will tell you how to get laid playing table game if that’s what you want to do. Because if done right, it can work.

Although what I cover in this post may contradict some things in my previous post, there are many caveats. Here are some of the points that are still valid:

  • Buying bottles still sucks
  • Buying tables does not suck per se, but you will rarely get anything buying bottles
  • Guys who buy tables and drink bad champagne still don’t bang many women
  • Table girls still suck the value out of guys with tables

The problem with buying tables and bottles is that it:

  • Costs a lot
  • Looks try-hard
  • Attracts table girls
  • Repels a lot of women
  • Removes your mobility

The only issue with the strategy that I am about to present is that it still removes some of your mobility, just not as much. We will also consider other aspects throughout this post.

Why Getting Tables and Bottles at Clubs Doesn’t Get You Laid

Getting Tables and Bottles at Clubs Doesn’t Get You Laid
Do you go to clubs and feel you can’t compete with dudes who get tables and bottles and have hot women sitting with them? Well, you shouldn’t. Here’s why.

Many times, when I head out with a group of guys, I see that many of them feel inferior to dudes with tables and bottles of champagne and whatnot. Normal guys feel these men have an easier time getting laid because they usually have more female company.

And here you are, a chump with a bottle of cheap beer in your hand. How the hell are you going to compete with those guys?

Well, here’s the thing. I don’t consider having tables or bottles to be an advantage when it comes to getting women in bed. The only advantage those guys do have is the confidence kick they get from having so much – i.e., other people seeing them with a bottle gives them an inflated sense of value.

The idea that bottles or tables equate to high status or easy women is a false perception that clubs use to make money. They’re just using lizard-brain marketing triggers that get you to hand over more of your money. It’s a bit like traveling first class on a plane – sure, it can be worth it sometimes, but the folks in coach still fly just as far.

Clubs need to make money, so I don’t blame them, but I have noticed that many guys – especially in higher-end clubs – start feeling very insecure when they see guys with flashy bottles of crappy champagne. In that moment, they’ve already lost. Coming off as insecure or inferior is a terrible angle when attracting women. That is why men struggle in high-end venues.

It’s also why many men tend to avoid these venues in favor of more relaxed, easygoing places – because they are more egalitarian in nature. However, those guys will be missing out on a ton of hot girls. High-end venues not only have hotter girls, they also have more girls.

So, perhaps it’s time to cure that inferiority complex. I'm sure you need more convincing, of course, so let me explain why I don’t consider having a table and bottles to be an advantage.

Stop Assuming Other Men Are Better Than You

don't compare your success with other men
If you keep asking yourself why you suck so bad with women while all these other dudes are getting laid, there are probably some things you aren’t taking into account.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of posts to debunk common ideas that I believe are wrong. I decided to follow up with a problem I see a lot of men suffering from – and that I also struggled with.

That is when you start comparing yourself to other men’s success. You see them with girls and feel inferior. This happens especially when you don’t find yourself in female company. You start seeing these other men – either willingly or unwillingly – as superior to you.

It isn’t a good feeling, and it doesn’t result in any kind of productive mindset when it comes to meeting women – quite the contrary. You usually start experiencing this feeling when you have a crappy night. You’re already in a bad place, so feeling inferior creates a vicious circle.

This post is designed to debunk some common misconceptions, but it’s more of a fact check that will help you avoid harmful biases about your own and others’ success.

First things first – we shouldn’t care about whether other people succeed or not unless it has an impact on our own interactions. However, many of us do care.